Fanny pack technology has been stagnant for the past few decades. With the new iSafe personal alarm Waist Pack hitting the market soon, the official bag of summer trips to Branson Missouri is back on the fast track.
Some horrible inventor has taken two things that should never be mixed - dogs and fanny packs - and mutated them into one terrible invention.
I never thought the fanny pack died off, but the kids at the arcade continue to ridicule me nonstop. I'll show those bastards. Just wait until I hit the Galaga machine wearing the Sound Box Waist Bag hooked up with my Sony Cassette Walkman. The Ace of Bass will be blaring and all of the kids will be jealous. Suckers. …