Gizmodo: farts

Scent Text Messaging Patented: Get Ready to Smell Farts from 3,000 Miles Away

Adam Frucci — Thu, 01 May 2008 12:45:00 EDT

Uh oh. A couple of companies in Germany have patented technology that enables sending scented text messages between phones. You know what this means: bring on the fart messages.

Actually, the way the system will work is by triggering one of 100 pre-defined scents on a chip in the phone, which seems less exciting and precise than what people would want to use it for. Yeah, being able to send a generic watermelon scent to someone is cool, I guess, but what if you want to send the specific scent of a dish you're eating to someone? Or, you know, a fart you're particularly proud of? It's a nice thought, guys, but until you figure out how to get the subtleties of my farts expressed with a proper amount of nuance, I'm not interested.

Now, just because I can, here's my favorite comedy sketch relating to farting, from the classic Mr. Show.

[The Local via Slashdot]

Fart'n Phone Makes Receiving Phone Calls Much More Hilarious

Adam Frucci — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Looking to make receiving bad news a little more bearable? Just make sure that you only receive bad news via the Fart'n Phone, the "world's first farting phone." Learning that your wife has been cheating on you won't be so bad when you're still laughing because — get this — this phone farts instead of rings! Hot dog, that's hilarious! I don't even care about that diagnosis anymore. Farts! [Product Page via Nerd Approved]

The Hilarity of the Farting Clock Will Never, Ever Get Old

Adam Frucci — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:37:23 EDT

This is the "Who Did It?" clock. Every hour that there's light, on the hour, it farts. When the lights are out it'll refrain from waking you up with flatulence, leaving that to you and/or your bedmate. I'd say that this is a great way to see exactly how long you'll find farts funny, but something tells me that for many of us, the answer to that question is "always." [Product Page via Nerd Approved]

Scientists Discover How to Neutralize Cow Farts; Your Farts Next, God Willing

Adam Frucci — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:37:05 EST

Sure, Hummers are bad for the environment, but do you know what else is? Cow farts. Yep, the methane in cow farts contributes to a surprisingly-high 5% of all global warming gasses out there, with methane being 22 times more potent at capturing atmospheric heat than carbon dioxide. The good news? A couple of Japanese scientists seem to have stumbled upon a way to neutralize this problem.

Costing about $1 per day per cow, some simple food additives that include a blend of nitrates and the amino acid cysteine could greatly suppress the methane production in a cow's stomach, making their emissions much more earth-friendly. No word on how earth-friendly it'll make your emissions, but I think it's safe to say your friends and family all have their fingers crossed for a successful crossover. [Times Online; image via Treehugger]

Keep Noxious Farts at Bay with the Gas Grabber

Charlie White — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 12:30:00 EST

Oh good lord. Someone has invented a fart protector. After you've eaten the Thanksgiving turkey equivalent of a horse, some of that tryptophan is going to eventually turn into methane, and you're going to need some serious butt protection like this. This patented Gas Grabber anal pad uses activated charcoal to neutralize those toxic fumes, sparing all of your beloved family members from your willful violation of their airspace by your noxious kamikazes. So far, it's just in the patent application stage, so this special mojo filter won't be available this Thanksgiving. Too bad. [Inventor Spot, via UberGizmo]