My quarry stops and looks around confused, but makes no effort to take cover. So I resume firing until my gun yells "Arrrrrrgh!", signifying a kill shot. The LED lights on my opponent's head flash red and he raises his gun into the air. This little tree is proving to be the perfect spot for ambushing attackers. I maybe kind of like pretending to kill people.

——————

Today is BattleSFO, a day-long laser tag capture-the-flag tournament. The field of conflict is a hilly eucalyptus grove in San Bruno, CA, 45 minutes south of San Francisco, in Juniperro State Park. There are about 30 people here broken up into platoons of 5 to 7. Each player is dressed to the nines in varieties of camouflage, some with black war paint under their eyes. They're not quite as geeky as I had expected them to be. Then again, this isn't exactly the kind of laser tag everyone played as kids. The gear is bigger and badder, even if the players are not.

Almost the entire crowd of mostly men has never played laser tag outdoors before. For the most part they're very friendly, though a little shy when I ask them about themselves. One team is made up of four guys who went to college together — an electrical engineer, a carpenter, and an options trader. Another team makes up a local rock band (they seem more interested in drinking beer and running around the woods in battle gear then actually playing to win.) Then there's a group of three middle-aged Asian gentlemen and one of their sons who get together regularly and compete. They found the game on Meetup.com. Raymond Wan, who convinced the others to join him in the woods, explains that normally they play paintball. "The weapons and radio communication make a big difference," he says. "I'm a strategy person. This is more fun."

But among the beginners are some veterans of ray gun war.

The general of these mini-gorilla-armies today is Ziggy Tomcich. Earlier in the morning Tomcich performed his duties as the event's organizer, scurrying around the picnic table area, AKA central command. He's sort of a goofy guy, but his excitement was palpable and I couldn't help but giggle a little bit in anticipation of getting my hands on these fake guns and peering down the sight at some unknowing adversary. As I watched Tomcich untangle headsets, distribute color-coded headbands, and make sure everyone was checking in correctly it was clear that, though his day job is as an audio engineer for the San Francisco Opera, playing laser tag is his true passion in life.

Tomcich has been playing the game since he was a teenager. Running around the Photon indoor arena in Baltimore at 15, Tomcich got hooked. After graduating college he took a job as a designer, marketer, and consultant for several arenas around the country. Then, in 2006, Tomcich took laser tag to the next level. Playing in Armageddon games in the UK and Sweden, where players compete in 3-4 day tournaments, Tomcich played outdoor laser tag for the first time. When he returned to San Francisco, Tomcich realized that the city lacked the kind of gaming he really loved. Being outdoors and playing laser tag was something, he felt, everyone should do.

"To me, laser tag is an extreme sport," he says. For him, part of the fun and the reason why he started his event website SFLastag.org, is the idea that the game is simple to play and creates a highly social environment. "Unlike most other sports, first-time players in outdoor laser tag can do quite well against seasoned players. It's more about strategy and tactics."

Before the first battle "Cypher," aka Todd Robinson, who co-owns SpecOps Live Play, a central California company that provided the artillery, gave everyone a rundown of their equipment. SpecOps imports their guns from an Australian company called Battlefield Sports, essentially an arms dealer that deals in toys. The company custom builds 10 different models of gaming weapons from sniper rifles to sub machine guns – all equipped with real-world laser sights, speakers for feedback, and sensors to keep track of game stats. Guns can emulate any of 69 models down to recoil, and fire and reload rates and muzzle flashes (LEDs, essentially). SpecOps has brought M4 assault rifles, sub machine guns, carbine rifles, and sniper rifles.

During Robinson's speech, Tomcich chimed in: "Do not aim your gun at non-laser tag players. These guns don't exactly look like Hasbro." For this game every weapon has 99 clips of 50 rounds. Those with smaller guns reload in about 5 seconds, the bigger ones about 7-10 seconds, so Robinson recommended taking cover while reloading. "The ‘bullets' will bounce off of pavement," he says. For this game they've disabled friendly fire. But when they hit the laser targets velcro'd to heads that belong to enemies, the guns vocalize the action like weapons with built in sports announcers synthesizing current status of prey as "casualty", "killed" or "already dead".

As he went through the briefing, the look on Robinson's face was more serious then anyone in the eucalyptus grove. Listening to him describe each weapon and how they worked made it clear to me that, though some people are here to play a game, for others laser tag is a way of life. In other words, I better take good care of his guns.

Honestly, the weapons are a little intimidating. First off, they're huge and I'm, well, I'm little. The guns are so heavy, in fact, that I opted for the smallest one I could find. I was also one of two girls on the field. Cypher's father, who co-owns SpecOps, told me that women actually tend to fair better at this type of laser tag then men. Women, he said, will hang back and think tactically about the game. Guys sometimes have a tendency to run out out commando-style and shoot at everything they see. My tactics were set: I'd wait for my enemies to come to me.

The game starts and I take up position. When I shoot people that happen upon my trap, they stood still, look around, and fired recklessly without making much effort to take cover. Those I shoot over 20 times are killed, sent back to the respawn area (AKA Command Center, AKA picnic tables) where Robinson will reset them, reactivate their ordinance and send them back into the fray.

The battle heats up. Despite my overall aversion in life to things that require running and exercise, the real-world feel of this whole day is bringing up the competitor in me that normally only emerges when I'm shit-talking people during video games. It is unclear who is winning at the moment; the command center tracks the flag movement via new GPS-tracking system and the PC that also handles all the on field comms.

But no one is listening back at HQ. The General Tomcich isn't attending to the computer anymore. Instead, Tomcich's standing across from me in the grove defending our Purple flag from capture. "We're encountering heavy resistance," we can hear over the radio. "Wear them down," a player shouts. Minutes later our fellow Purple team members come running through the brush holding a flag. Our opponents are not far behind. But they're too late. This round is ours.

Erin Biba is a San Francisco-based Correspondent for WIRED Magazine who writes about science, popular culture and beer made from primordial yeast. Follow her on Twitter.

There are a lot of new toys for developers, including some kind of emulator configuration thing called Android Virtual Devices, or AVDs, that apparently will make developers' lives way easier. That's cool for them, but what do we get?

April 2009

The Android 1.5 platform introduces many new features for users and developers. The list below provides an overview of the changes.
User interface refinements

* System-wide:
o Refinement of all core UI elements
o Animated window transitions (off by default)
o Accelerometer-based application rotations
* UI polish for:
o In-call experience
o Contacts, Call log, and Favorites
o SMS & MMS
o Browser
o Gmail
o Calendar
o Email
o Camera & Gallery
o Application management

Performance improvements

* Faster Camera start-up and image capture
* Much faster acquisition of GPS location (powered by SUPL AGPS)
* Smoother page scrolling in Browser
* Speedier GMail conversation list scrolling

New features

* On-screen soft keyboard
o Works in both portrait and landscape orientation
o Support for user installation of 3rd party keyboards
o User dictionary for custom words
* Home screen
o Widgets
+ Bundled home screen widgets include: analog clock, calendar, music player, picture frame, and search
o Live folders
* Camera & Gallery
o Video recording
o Video playback (MPEG-4 & 3GP formats)
* Bluetooth
o Stereo Bluetooth support (A2DP and AVCRP profiles)
o Auto-pairing
o Improved handsfree experience
* Browser
o Updated with latest Webkit browser & Squirrelfish Javascript engines
o Copy 'n paste in browser
o Search within a page
o User-selectable text-encoding
o UI changes include:
+ Unified Go and Search box
+ Tabbed bookmarks/history/most-visited screen
* Contacts
o Shows user picture for Favorites
o Specific date/time stamp for events in call log
o One-touch access to a contact card from call log event
* System
o New Linux kernel (version 2.6.27)
o SD card filesystem auto-checking and repair
o SIM Application Toolkit 1.0
* Google applications
o View Google Talk friends' status in Contacts, SMS, MMS, GMail, and Email applications
o Batch actions such as archive, delete, and label on Gmail messages
o Upload videos to Youtube
o Upload photos on Picasa

Whoa. Soft keyboard, widgets, video recording (with YouTube uploading capabilities!), updated browser features like tabs, system-wide UI polishing... This is a killer upgrade. So, uh, thanks, Google! [Phandroid, thanks trigatch!]

To refresh, BD-Live is the Blu-ray technology that allows for more interactive special features on your disc, like being able to arrange "screenings" with your friends or record commentary tracks yourself.

It all comes down to the technology. Instead of having director Chris Nolan talk into a mic and answer questions as they were asked via the website, Nolan had to do all his own typing. Or, we assume it was Nolan and not some designated typist, since the answers were slow going and contained a bunch of typos. The largest problem was that the text, displayed IRC-style with a white overlay behind it, was too small (on my PS3, at least), forcing me to sit closer than I normally would.

Smaller issues included Chris Nolan connecting and disconnecting every two minutes for the first 1/3 of the movie, which lead to the unfulfilling situation where questions were displayed but his answers were dropped. He also intentionally stayed silent or deftly evaded when certain questions on sensitive topics chosen by the moderator, such as piracy, making a third movie and any talk of money.

There were some enjoyable moments, such as when he took not one, but two pee breaks, explaining that he needed to make a shorter film next time. Fortunately, the BD-Live format let him pause everyone's movie simultaneously. He also reused the same joke three times in different formats, thanking an actor or a contributor by name when someone asked how awesome it was working with said person.

Here's how to fix the experience. Give Chris Nolan a microphone. Make whatever adjustments you have to make to the BD-Live technology to allow a low-bandwidth audio stream to reach however many players were signed on last night. Then, record the "podcast", and let people who were still at work (it was on at 6PM PST) watch it after the fact whenever they like. I stare at chatrooms all day at work, don't make me stare at another one when I'm watching Batman tearing around Gotham City.

Zune Marketplace—the Zune version of iTunes—will get videos, more music and podcasts. The 80GB is thinner than the current Zune and has a generous 3.2-inch screen as well. And that new square/circle control? That's called the "Zune Pad". To be clear, this is all rumored until the official announcement comes down from Microsoft. [Zune Scene]

Update: Silicon Alley Insider says Microsoft will be adding DRM-free music into Zune Marketplace. They're not sure how many labels will be into this, but it might be EMI and Universal, seeing as they're already into the DRM-free game.

Update 2: Local news station KING 5 seems to be going off some AP release that's meant to be embargoed until later, but says that yes, there's three models, a black 80GB, and a pink/green/black/red 4 and 8GB flash-based. They confirm the Wi-Fi syncing as well. [King5]

Here's what else is new:

• Confirmed in-line viewer for PDFs, Microsoft Word, and Microsoft Excel docs in email. Microsoft complained about lack of support before. This is a huge deal, even if it is read-only.
• Turning off the phone requires you to slide your finger across the top (like unlocking it) to confirm.
• You can rewind voicemail like a sound file.
• You can finger-scroll through contacts using the alphabet on the right.
• The special iPhone headphones have volume and call control.
• IMAP/POP support confirmed
• Typing with two thumbs actually looks manageable
• Limited amount of ringtones can be selected from the settings menu. Doesn't look like songs can be used.
• Confirmed turn by turn directions and up-to-date traffic info for Google maps.
– Jason Chen

10:33 He's talking about the need for a better interface. And took a jab at origami.
10:36 Battery life is great. Five hours of real access running Wi-Fi, etc.
10:38 WM Looks like a laptop, I know how you're positioning it, but that doesn't matter.
JH is totally being a cock tease, and Mossy is telling JH to get on with the show. He keeps calling it a laptop. That doesn't run stuff.
10:40 JH It's Velvety. Runs Linux, 10-inch screen, boots almost instantly. No sleep, just on and off.
10:43 WM Like the Clapper.
JH Syncs with the phone, not just for exchange stuff. Makes the data centric to the phone. Easy to use, not for corporate types only.

I'll update photos in the gallery as they come, but the text will be running below

WM Blackberry?
JH Talk about it later.

[They're doing a demo of the of the four steps to sync the Treo and the Foleo. Pairs with Bluetooth.]

WM You can navigate using the thumb pad device [which supposedly supplements the nipple thing] (Swisher's words, not mine.)

[They're showing Dataviz editing Office docs using a full-screen version. Looks very fast. Can make things from scratch]
[WM happy people can do office stuff from the device]
[Showing a Linux terminal, crowd turns aside, sick to their stomachs]
10:57 [runs opera browser, uses phone connection, over BT. Flash runs fine. The video stuff is slow. Won't do flash video, including YouTube.]

WM Let me get this straight. It won't do the hottest thing on the Web? [They blame the flashware, but its obviously the processor]
JH Let me be clear&mdash:it will do it, but not well.
WM When?
JH UHHH...In the future.

JH If I could do it again, I'd put a faster processor in here.

[$499, as earlier reported. That's after a $100 rebate]
WM There are laptops that are $499, there are laptops that are 10-inchers, why this?
JH Those little ones aren't the cheap ones. We're going after the one-button access to the experience. This is a Linux machine with long battery life, that people will write apps for. Foleo is simple and fun.

JH We'll support Treos with Window Mobile Phones and Treos. They'll do BlackBerries, too. It can be done, and it's easy to do. We want to the the iPhone. They need it!

Closed Session
– Brian Lam

All Things D at Giz [Gizmodo]

While Laptop Mag, Popular Science, Shiny Shiny, Infosync, Reg Hardware, Maxim, and Pocket Lint have taken lemons and made lemonade, we are taking lemonade and making...super lemonade. Hit the jump to see the absolute cream of the crop products, the one list to catch you up on all the lists: The Best Of, The Best Of CES 2007.

Media Player
LG Super Multi Blue
"We love the quality of Blu-ray, we love the quality of HD DVD, but we don't want to get involved in a format war and back the wrong one. Seems LG doesn't either with the launch of a dual player." (pocketlint)

Portable Media
Sansa Connect
"This WiFi portable audio player provides streaming Internet radio, as well as WiFi content acquisition in one nicely priced package. In other words, any time you find yourself in a WiFi hotspot, you can download new songs." (maxim)
It's just like a Zune, but useful.

Television
Sharp 108" LCD

Computer
OQO Model 02
"Roughly the size of two iPods, the OQO 02 could easily be mistaken for a handheld videogame system or even a slightly oversize Blackberry. But don't let it fool you: It's a fully functional, standalone computer capable of running Windows Vista." (popsci)
And it's a lot nicer than this UMPC.

Phone
LG VX9400
"Though we've seen swivel screen phones abroad...Verizon's V Cast Mobile TV announcement brought forth the first swivel screen for the US...very light, and surprisingly slim, we expected more bulk from the first generation of true mobile TV phones. The screen swivels to landscape mode and clicks nicely into place, and though it isn't very large, we were happy to see video commandeering the entirety of the screen's real estate." (infosyncworld)
No, we weren't tacky enough to say the iPhone.

Robot
iRobot Create
"From the company that brought you the Roomba vacuum cleaner comes a robot designed for students, geeks and other 'bot lovers to create their own programmes. See it in action here fetching beer from the fridge or even being controlled by a hamster. Genius." (reghardware)

iPod Dock
Viewsonic PJ258D
"... sleekly designed and weighs less than four pounds. The docking station connects an iPod video player directly to the projector...also supports other digital media, including S-Video and VGA...has a 1024 x 768 XGA resolution, 2000 lumens of brightness, and a 2000:1 contrast ratio." (LaptopMag)
If you don't think iPod docks deserve their own group, you weren't at the show. And it's among the world's most expensive, ludicrous iPod docks at $999.

What were your favorites? –Mark Wilson

What announcements will Jobs make this year...new iPods, "iPhones", Macbooks, or even mock turtlenecks? Hit the jump for our Frankenreview...errr...Frankenrumor: rumors from a plethora of Internet sources congealed together in an apple-flavored gelatin of knowledge hearsay quasi-intelligent rumors.

iPhone
"...we probably will see an iPhone."
"No Apple iPhone"
" Coming in January to all providers 2 batteries (1 MP3, 1 Phone) 2 capacities (4GB & 8GB) Prices will run $249 & $449 Flash memory (surprise) Slide out keyboard Touchscreen (on outside) "Cool" OS"
"small as shit."
"[Morgan Stanley analyst] Runkle says the phone will cost $599 for the 4GB model and a whopping $649 for the 8GB version...it'll be wider than an iPod Nano, but narrower than the 5G iPod. It'll have a nice 3.5-inch display and will come in multi-colored aluminum shells like the Nano..."

Video iPod
"If Apple's patents are to be believed, there is also a new crop of iPods on the horizon that will offer larger screens and possibly new navigation techniques."
"...little attention has been given to the rumored full Video iPod despite clear evidence that Apple has been considering such a form factor."
"The focus of the patent is the incorporation of a touch-sensitive bezel (edge of screen) that can adapt to the screen contents to provide an input method for the user...non-screen area would eliminate many of the "smudge" and "scratch" concerns for a full-screen touch iPod."
"...we're more likely to see a bump to 100GB capacity, courtesy of Toshiba's new 1.8-inch drive..."

iTV
"Apple now aims to begin shipping iTV (likely under a different product name) in late January or early February. They added that the additional time is necessary to fine-tune an embedded version of the Mac OS operating system that will reportedly run on the device..."
"Many people are speculating and/or hoping that Apple will ink a deal with TiVo or offer its own personal video recording capabilities...it seems a bit hard to believe the two companies are collaborating on a Mac product."
"There's an Apple patent application dated November 2, 2006 that outlines techniques for acquiring a season's worth of TV shows. However, it only mentions the word TiVo once in the entire document, and that's only in a generic sense, describing recorded digital video."
"I've been hoping for a video update to the AirPort Express, but it seems like the iTV more or less kills that idea..."
"Google integration (iTV + YouTube)"

Cinema Displays
"Look for Apple to announce a 17-inch Cinema display to complement their existing 20, 23 and 30-inch monitors."
"Apple hasn't made any major update to the Cinema Displays since their initial release in June 2004...the next generation of Apple Cinema Displays could feature a built-in iSight, HDMI connectivity as well as support for HDCP...23 inch model may be replaced by a 24 inch one while a larger model may broaden the line-up."
"...a 50" monitor may be planned for 'early 2007'."
"...a coordinated effort to intentionally spread false information to rumor sites...these rumors should be viewed with some skepticism."

iLife, iWork
"Apple's iApps usually get updated at Macworld Expo and this year should be no exception."
"iLife and iWork 07 are a sure thing."
"...introduction of a new spreadsheet application code named "Lasso"

Leopard
"Leopard could be released at Macworld Expo despite Steve Jobs' assertion that it would be released in 'Spring 2007'."
"It will certainly not be released at Macworld."
"the Mac OS[X] appears to be the key to Apple's ensuing consumer electronics strategy, beginning with iTV and iPhone and extending far beyond."
"...as much as I'd love to see PVR capabilities built into Mac OS X, I think Apple is much more likely to continue to focus on sales of TV content through the iTunes Store."

MacPro
"Apple's desktop Mac is due for a quad-core Intel Xeon Processor..."
"One more thing: 8-core Mac Pro."
"The new Mac Pro configuration will feature two of the recently announced Quad-core Intel (more likely Xeon) processors for a total of eight cores per configuration... development on the systems has been complete for some time..."

Macbook Pro
"...the miniaturized MacBook Pro should keep its built-in optical drive and sport a dual-core processor, providing unequalled size/performance ratio in the PC industry... Apple should use the 12 inch form factor... could be priced in the $1700~$1800 range."
"[odds: 50:1]"
"Unlikely rumors, which [PiperJaffray analyst] Munster calls "a stretch," include an ultra-portable 12-inch MacBook Pro..."

iTablet
"... a number of new Apple patent applications that relate to the long-rumored Apple Tablet based computer. The most recent patents appeared...February 2nd, 2006...with a filing date as recent as January 31st, 2005."
"...Methods and systems for processing touch inputs are disclosed. The invention in one respect includes reading data from a multipoint sensing device such as a multipoint touch screen..."
"Apple researchers have built a fully working prototype of tablet Mac and three companies in Taiwan are bidding for a potential launch in mid 2007."
"...it's not likely to happen..."

– Mark Wilson

Rumor Links...In No Particular Order
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

This makes us wonder. Are people actually interested in higher megapixel counts, more memory, more connectivity, more media playback, and more everything in their phones? Or do they only want one like this, simple and for phone-use only? What's your reasoning for each?

For us, we'd like as many features as you can cram into a package. Damn the torpedoes—and battery life.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

In today's Frankenfight, we stack the return policies of major retailers including Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, Circuit City and Amazon in one huge pile for you to learn, live and love. While no major reviewers are chiming in with their opinions, hopefully our research will save you at least half a headache (because there is nothing we can do about your kid who is still crying about not getting a Wii).

Is one return policy inherently better than the rest? Sure, Wal-Mart...especially if you happen to "lose" your receipt. But the real lesson here is, don't open electronics that you plan on returning. Because it will probably cost you. – Mark Wilson

Return Policies
Wal-Mart
Target
Best Buy
Circuit City
Amazon

But exactly how strong is this mythology? Can the iPhone's legend stand up to the greatest myths of the history of man: those of the ancient Greek civilization?

There is only one way to find out...and it involves the three-headed ancient god of reason that is the Frankenreview.

iPhone vs. Apollo
Apollo was the most beloved of the all gods, and he was the god of music and supreme master of the golden lyre.

The iPhone can play any music style and any recording converted to the supported digital formats.

Winner: iPhone, because who the fuck rocks out to the lyre these days? Except Sting, of course (aka god of my heart).

iPhone vs. SirensThe Sirens were beings who could entice mariners with their song, only to destroy their ships on the rocks.

Studies have proven that cell phone use while driving can lead to more accidents (some surely involving collisions with rocks).

Winner: iPhone, unless the driver is in close proximity to the Bermuda Triangle, where reception is difficult, and the Lock Ness's brother can team up with the Sirens.

iPhone vs. Atlas
Atlas, as punishment for siding with the Titans, was forced by Zeus to literally bear the weight of the sky on his shoulders.

The iPhone, after the sucktastic RKOR and Chocolate, is now holding up the hearts and expectations of fanboys everywhere.

Winner: iPhone, because oxygen floats and hearts are more difficult to hold in bulk (more slippery, sorta gross).

Steve Jobs vs. Zeus
Zeus is a god.

Steve Jobs just thinks he's a god is also a god.

Winner: Zeus, due to lightning bolt powers.

Brian Lam vs. Epimetheus
Epimetheus is synonymous with "hind-sight". His actions in betraying Zeus and his brother Prometheus (foresight) led to all suffering and despair being released on mankind.

Brian Lam teased the release of the Apple iPhone.

Winner: Tie.– Mark Wilson

mythology 1
mythology 2
photo 1
photo 2
photo 3

Watch the sub-$200 HP Photosmart D7360 and Canon Pixma MP500 duke it out for all the affection you never had in our innovative bar graph. Then hit the jump for the Frankenreview: what happens when reviews from CNET, PCMag, PCWorld and PrinterSpot agree to live in a house and have their lives taped.

Design"The Canon Pixma MP500 is low, wide, and smooth, like an Italian sports car."
"We like the dual-LED icon next to the feed switch, which helps you toggle between the paper trays."
"It has a tilting 2.5-inch LCD screen and memory card slots so you can print without the help of a computer."
"The Photosmart D7360 has a large 3.4-inch tilting LCD — that's about an inch larger than typical displays currently on the market."
"...you can keep both standard letter-size paper and 4-by-6 photo paper loaded and switch between them without having to change paper every time. Alternatively...you can keep two different sizes of photo paper loaded."
"The HP Photosmart D7360 is on the bulky side for a single-function printer..."

Winner: Canon. It's a much sexier design despite including all-in-one functionality.

Standalone Interface/Connectivity "If you're printing directly from a PictBridge-enabled camera, use your digital camera's memory card, use infrared via a device such as your phone, you can use the Pixma MP500 right out of the box..."
"Unlike several of its rivals and many photo printers, the MP500 doesn't let you read images from a USB flash drive attached to its direct-print port."
"One thing the MP500 won't control directly from the printer is printing images smaller than 4 x 6 inches. It automatically scales the image to fit to the maximum paper size without giving you the option of printing at its original size."
"[With the HP]...Plug in a memory card or USB key with photos on it, preview your photos, choose print options, and give the print command through the 3.4-inch touch screen."
"You can watch the video play back on the LCD, stop it at the frame you want, then print. To find just the right frame, you can pause the video and slowly step through frame by frame, either forward or back."
"You can even view animated demos of maintenance tasks, such as loading paper and cartridges, and clearing paper jams."
"It's the perfect interface for computerphobes..."
"...the easiest to use printer we have ever reviewed."Winner: HP. Guess that extra bulk pays off somewhere.

Speed
"The MP500 averages 1:11 per print - substantially faster than two similar photo printers. For 8.5 x 11s, it took an average of 2:58."
"On Premium Plus paper, the HP D7360 is slow, averaging 1:45 per 4 x 6-inch print....However, when printing on HP Advanced Photo Paper, the HP D7360 is the fastest in the market..."
Ed Note: With HP Advanced Photo Paper, the printer averages 53 seconds per print. 8.5 x 11s take 1:17.
"Performance [for the Canon mp500] is a strong point. On our business applications...the MP500 took 15 minutes, 17 seconds, total..."
"[The HP clocks] in at 15:08 on our business applications suite..."

Winner: HP. HP wins the photos, but due to the more expensive paper, we needed more to determine the winner. Then HP also won general office printing speeds with normal paper.

Photo Printing Quality
"[With the Canon]...On photo paper we saw beautifully sharp images with bold colors.
"On our graphics test print, curves were smooth and sharply rendered, but we saw quite a bit of banding in gradients, especially in the grayscale..."
"...with shading changing suddenly where it should change gradually..."
"...slightly cyan-biased skin tones..."
"[With the HP]...the only problem we found was noticeable graininess in blocks of color."
"Most users will like its photo quality, but we've seen better. On photo paper, the darkest areas lacked some detail and exhibited a bluish tint, while skin tones looked too bronzed..."
"The printer recreated skin tones darker than the original with more saturation and contrast. The skin tones are realistic and the model actually seems more alive than the original image."
"...oversaturated and a little dark."Winner: Tie. Each printer seems to have its own problems. I'm scared of the Canon's difficulties with gradients, but resentful that the HP won't print with less contrast than it's told (see above, original on left). But mom, she will love them both.

Overall winner: HP. Mom will like the HP because it has the best standalone interface, and let's face it, she has no clue that her printer should be any smaller. Dad will like feeling cool that he can freezeframe videos of himself dancing nude in the bathroom mirror...to later give to mom. – Mark Wilson

Canon Pixma MP500 Specs
B&W Pages per Min.: 29 • Color Pages per Min.: 19 • Max. B&W dpi: 600 by 600 • Max. Color dpi: 9600 by 2400 • Max. Scanning dpi: 1200-by-2400 • Tray Capacity, pages: 150 • Price When Reviewed: $200

HP Photosmart D7360 Specs
B&W Pages per Min.: 32 • Color Pages per Min.: 31 • Max. B&W dpi: 1200-by-1200 • Max. Color dpi: 4800-by-1200 • Tray Capacity, pages: 100 • Price When Reviewed: $200

CNET HP
CNET Canon
PCMag HP
PCMag Canon
PCWorld HP
PCWorld Canon
PrinterSpot HP
PrinterSpot Canon

We took PCMag's and CNET's top four rated LCDs in the price range (by Westinghouse, Vizio, Viewsonic and Sharp) and let them duke it out battle royal style in the Frankenreview.

Design
Winner: Sharp
"Sharp dropped the silver coloring..."
"I took a moment to admire the display's all-black styling, which features a gloss-finished bezel inset within a matte-finished frame..."
"...the oversized power button would be easy to locate and operate with your eyes closed."

Inputs
Winner: Sharp
"...including two HDMI ports, two component-video connections, and a single RF input that feeds the TV's analog (NTSC), digital (ATSC), and Clear QAM (unencrypted digital cable) tuners."
"...the biggest omission is a dedicated PC input...no mention of using one of the HDMI inputs with PC sources, although dedicated users can probably find a way."

Features
Winner: Vizio
"... boasts a versatile picture-in-picture control. One option lets you view standard-def—but not high-def—inputs in a smaller window while using the PC input for the main screen.
"There are four aspect-ratio modes available for both HD and standard-def sources."

Display

Winner: Sharp
"...summed up with one word, wow."
"...Sharp was able to coax a relatively deep color of black compared to other LCDs we've reviewed recently."
"...has superior representation of color and dark detail."
"Color tracking was admirably linear too compared with the Westinghouse and ViewSonic 32-inch models."
"its less-saturated color was visible...reds are too garish in comparison with other colors."
"...picture was almost perfectly calibrated right out of the box."

Overall Winner: SharpWe were surprised that the Sharp's black levels and contrast ratios held up to TVs far more expensive than those compared here. So while the Sharp may be the most expensive in the competition, it not only looks to be a good TV for under $1,000, but a decent TV in general.

Runner Up: Vizio
For $250 less than the Sharp, you get a PC-input and a decent display save for some color temperature problems...just utilize HDMI and avoid component inputs. If you are sub $700 cheap, we can forgive you for choosing the Vizio. – Mark Wilson

Sharp LC-32D40U Specs:
LCD TV
TFT active matrix
Image aspect ratio - 16:9
Series: Aquos
Width: 32.3 in
Depth: 10.7 in
Height: 25.6 in
Weight: 43 lbs

Video System
Resolution: 1366 x 768
Image contrast ratio - 1200:1
Viewing angle: 176 degrees
Brightness: 450

Television Features
Backlight life: 60,000 hour(s)

Connections / Cables / Slots
Input/Output connections: 2 x HD component input (RCA phono x 3), 2 x HDMI (19 pin HDMI Type A), 1 x S-Video input (4 pin mini-DIN), Audio line-in, 3 x Composite video input (RCA phono)

CNET Westinghouse
CNET Vizio
CNET ViewSonic
CNET Sharp
CNET Sharp 2
PCMag Westinghouse
PCMag Vizio
PCMag ViewSonic
PCMag Sharp

Aside from Windows Mobile 5, push email and WiFi, the 8525 is the first UMTS/HSDPA smartphone in the US. Think of it as a double-decker, hi-speed data sandwich with the potential to clock 14.4Mbps downloading, while allowing you to transfer voice and data simultaneously from around the world. (EV-DO RevA might be faster, but will not allow dual pipelines). Is that a Cingular 8525 in your pocket, or are you...let's just go with the Cingular.

Check out our stunning 3DD graph, and hit the jump for a trans fat-laden edition of the Frankenreview. We eat the veggies so you can just suck out the jelly and call it a day.

Frankenreviewer Says:

Design
"...the device is on the heavier side at 6.2 ounces, so you may grow tired of holding it up to your ear after a while..."
"Closed, it is almost exactly the same size as a Palm Treo 700p, but it opens to reveal a large, comfortable QWERTY keyboard, while allowing for a large 2.8-inch screen..."
"The slide-out QWERTY keyboard has large flat keys that are easy to hit with your thumbs, even if they don't provide the best tactile feedback."
"All too often, keystrokes didn't register as we typed, requiring multiple strokes and making for numerous typos."
"More notable is the BlackBerry-style trackwheel, located on the left-hand side..."
"The wheel also doubles as a volume controller while you're on a phone call."
- Why would you get so much right, only to screw up the keyboard?

High-Speed Network
"The 8525 is the first global, high-speed smart phone, able to tap into mid-speed UMTS or high-speed HSDPA networks in more than 50 countries, including most of Western Europe."
"While UMTS enables streaming video and broadband Internet access with transfer speeds around 2mbps, HSDPA improves upon that performance with the potential to hit up to 14.4mbps."
"Over a couple weeks of testing, the 8525 averaged very good throughput of 872 Kbps using the HSDPA connection..."
"...in fact, HSDPA performance was even better than 802.11g."
"As for voice features, the Cingular 8525 is a quad-band world phone, so you can use it almost anywhere in the world."
"EV-DO phones make you choose between voice and data: HSDPA gives you both, simultaneously."
- This dual pipeline is just screaming for some killer apps.

Productivity
"...designed to be a workhorse for the power user and is equipped with all the features to do so..."
"...allows push mail from POP3/IMAP accounts, and the Clearvue PDF reader to top off the office suite..."
"...the e-mail experience was excellent..."
"As with reading e-mail, the generous screen real estate makes editing Word docs more pleasant than on smaller phones..."
"While the 8525 did a great job preserving the formatting of our documents, we found zooming in and out to be a hassle, requiring numerous taps on the menus..."
- Zoom or not, Excel will always scare the hell out of me on a smartphone...and off.

Multimedia
"...2-megapixel camera isn't great, but at least it's higher-res than previous models..."
"...more impressed with the photo quality as the images boasted sharp lines and bright colors..."
"Sharing shots is simple; just click or tap on the envelope icon and you can send images via e-mail or MMS."
"We were able to stream video without a hitch, though the quality wasn't the greatest. Music playback was decent via the phone's speaker..."
- Wear headphones, for your sake and ours. – Mark Wilson

OS: Windows Mobile 5 PocketPC
Network: GSM/GPRS
Bands: 850/900/1800/1900
Data: UMTS/HSDPA
Processor: 400-MHz Samsung
Memory: 64MB RAM/128MB ROM
Expansion: MicroSD
Display: 2.8 inches (240 x 320, 64,000 colors)
Camera: 2MP
Wi-Fi
Bluetooth 2.0
Talk Time/Standby Time: 5 hours/220 hours
Size: 4.4 x 2.3 x 0.9 inches
Weight: 6.2 ounces

CNET
PCMag
Infosync
LaptopMag

Behold our stunning graphs light-years ahead of your primitive 3D display technologies, then hit the jump for our Frankenreview—the blogger's equivalent to a quadruple-stuffed Oreo without the cookie. – Mark Wilson

Frankenreviewer Says:

Design

"We may have called it ugly as sin at one point, but once we had the final product in our hand, we changed our mind."
"It's extremely elegant, clad in soft-touch black plastic that feels great in the hand."
"Keys are backlit by a purple glow, a cool touch."
"The entire keypad is actually wider than the pad on our 700p, and the keys themselves have more breathing room..."
"The keys are packed very tightly together, but they offer excellent tactile feedback."
"The new volume control touch strip is...a bit temperamental."
"...extremely difficult to know how accurately you're changing the volume..."
- Volume was the one design flaw everyone agreed on.

Communication/Web

"The Dash is extremely well connected."
"With Wi-Fi and 2.5G support, the Dash is a browsing powerhouse. The Wi-Fi connection manager lists all available connections in the area, and delineates between locked, open, and ad hoc networks."
"MSN instant messaging is obviously supported, as are Yahoo, AIM, and ICQ messaging."
"...our experience didn't exactly feel "instant," as it took an average of 25 seconds to sign onto Yahoo and anywhere from 4 to 40 seconds to send and receive messages."
"Mobile Internet Explorer handles complicated and graphically rich pages well...but stumbles when it comes to JAVA- and AJAX-heavy sites, such as YouTube."
"The BlackBerry Pearl, which rides on the same 2.5G network, is faster because it uses a more efficient Java-based browser."
"As a phone, the Dash is just adequate."
"Calls sound a bit fuzzy, with some dips in reception, even when we had full signal strength."
- Talking is overrated, that's why we email.

Multimedia

"Media playing is robust thanks to Windows Media Player 10."
"Thrillingly, you can finally play video in full-screen mode, something that didn't work on previous Windows Mobile Smartphone OS devices."
"...picture quality was a bit disappointing as colors appeared washed out and lines and edges weren't as sharp as we've seen on other phones."
"...the video mode captures unremarkable 176-by-144, 10-frames-per-second videos."
"...easy it is to share your shots and low-res video footage; clicking on the envelope icon after you're done recording takes you directly to an MMS or e-mail message prepopulated with your photo or video attachment."
- Too bad the images aren't worth sharing.

Other

"...the Dash was a little bit sluggish overall. We experienced a number of delays when opening and closing applications."
"...rated for 5 hours of talk time and up to 9 days of standby time. In our tests, the Dash more than doubled the rated talk time..."
"...it's a worthy competitor to the BlackBerry Pearl, Motorola Q, and Palm Treo 700p."
- Now let's get these smartphones just a hair smarter, editing Office files while cutting my hair.

Size: 4.4 x 2.5 x 0.5 inches
Weight: 4.2 ounces
Included battery: Li-Ion
Talk time: up to 5 hours
Standby time: up to 9 days
Band (frequency): 850 MHz;900 MHz;1800 MHz;1900 MHz

Messaging

* Text messaging*
* Instant messaging: Yahoo! , MSN , and AOL *

Fun

* 1.3 Megapixel camera
* Windows Media Player
* Video capture/playback

Communication

* Easily synch w/ Microsoft Outlook
* Built-in QWERTY Keypad
* myFaves capable*
* Stereo Bluetooth wireless technology

Information

* Real web browsing*
* GPRS/EDGE and Wi-Fi enabled*
* Micro SD memory slot
* Voice-activated dialing

CNET
PCMag
Laptop Mag
Infosync

Interview/Article by Jonah Brucker-Cohen

In the hyper-realist console and arcade gaming space, the closer a game gets to emulating reality, the better chance the game has of succeeding in an already over-crowded market place. Taking this hybrid of realism and screen-based entertainment to an extreme is Berlin based media artist Aram Bartholl. From his experiments of adding a "virtual" machine gun to a pair of ordinary glasses in "1st Person Shooter" to creating physical versions of the large blinking arrows from the ubiquitous console game, "Need for Speed 2", Bartholl creates work that intends to both disrupt, engage, and highlight our pre-occupation with virtual forms and experiences. His work is both a playful and cautious reminder of just how far technology has infiltrated our lives and public spaces. Gizmodo caught up with Bartholl to discuss his views on the future of gaming artifacts, the potential impact of technological imperialism, and just how closely our daily lives are influenced by the virtual entities we engage with everyday.

Name:Aram Bartholl
Age: 33
Education: Diploma, Architecture, University of Arts, Berlin, 2001
Affiliation: Independent artist, Interaction designer, Urban Media Salon Berlin, CCC
Exhibitions:
"Bits on Location" at the Competition Browserday 1.Price Berlin DE 2001, "Silver Cell" and "Paper Pixels" at 21.Chaos Communication Congress of the Chaos Computer Club Berlin DE 2004, Presentations "Bits on location " at Transmediale05 in the lecture of Open.Plan Berlin DE 2005, "Random Screen" at 22.Chaos Communication Congress of the Chaos Computer Club Berlin DE 2005, "Random Screen" at 3rd (A) r4WB1t5 Micro.Fest at ENEMY gallery Chicago US 2006, "Silver Cell" at Viper New Media Art festival Basel CH 2006, "Random Screen" "WoW" "de_dust" and "DIY" at project space "ceci n'est pas un restaurant" Berlin DE 2006, "Speed" at Plattform Bohnenstrasse public space exhibition Bremen DE 2006, "Random Screen" "Paper Pixels" and "Silver Cell" Exhibition / Workshop at Ars Electronica Linz AT 2006
URL:www.datenform.de

GIZMODO: "First Person Shooter" consists of downloadable, paper cut-out glasses that affix a gun in the style of a first person shooter video game (such as Quake, Doom, or Half-Life) to the lens so that the wearer feels as if they are playing one of these games. How closely do you associate video games with reality and what was your overall intention with the project?

AB: All my projects I am working on are dealing about the relationship of the digital net data space to the every day live in real space. With the series of the computer game objects I am trying to connect these both worlds in a new way. Computer games becoming more and more realistic: high resolution models, better textures, physic engines etc. try to imitate or real physical world. Like some of the other projects First Person Shooter poses the question about the reality you are living in. I think the online game worlds have a great impact for gamers on the way they perceive their reality. There is a shift between the real and the virtual world which is not visible. These worlds are not connected at all. The game worlds stick to the screen but they are very big in players' minds. In fact the FPS glasses do not really work when you wear them. The Ak47s are to close and blur in front of your eyes. But it makes you think about this virtual arm holding a weapon, when you look at yourself wearing these glasses. It is supposed to be your own arm who reaches into cyberspace but in the end it is not connected to your body. Additionally you can read this project also as a comment on the discussion of violence and computer games (which is very big in Germany). An average gamer is not able to become more violent in real life than wearing FPS I think.

"SilverCell" (Bartholl, 2004)

GIZMODO:Your "Silver Cell" project exists as a pouch for a cell phone that acts as a "Faraday" cage to prevents the phone from communicating with the tower or receiving signals in an attempt to stop the owner's location from being tracked or followed. Do you think this form of passive surveillance poses a threat to our personal security? What other types of technology integrate methods of surveillance that might be worth giving us control to over?

AB: A lot of computer and communication technologies offer great possibilities of being passively traced and tracked. Not only secret services or Google do data mining and can tell about your behaviors but also your girlfriend wants to know why your cell phone was shut off last night. Surveillance on all levels is increasing constantly and people are getting used to it. We are not living in the classic Half Life 2 / George Orwell - scenario but we are closer to this than we think. It is just not so obvious. But surveillance is only one side of the project "Silver Cell". [It is] very important to me is the fact that this simple piece of cloth knocks out this highly developed communication tool. Again the analog and simple object is stronger than our fragile digital world.

"Speed" (Bartholl, 2006)

GIZMODO: With "Speed", you interjected the large flashing arrows from the video game "Need for Speed Underground 2" into the urban landscape by placing large scale replicas onto city streets. How closely do you see virtual and physical landscapes relating to each other? How did this transformation effect the normal flow of city traffic and what types of reactions did you receive from pedestrians and motorists?

AB: As I said before computer games on one hand try to be realistic as much as possible. On the other hand there are a lot of behaviors, functions and objects which do only relate in a distorted way to our physical real world. The red flashing arrows from NFSU2 seem to be classic traffic signs which are a little bit oversized but in fact they have a semi-permeable function. Somehow they look like a virtual projected object in the game but in fact they serve as a very strict race track boundary during a race. The drivers' car is not able to pass them and bumps into them. The simulated city traffic which in general serves as an additional obstacle during a race can cross these boundaries as if they were just virtual objects within the game. Rebuilding these animated arrows in real space ads up an other layer onto this real/virtual object. Somehow the computer game becomes real and at the same time the city is transformed partially into a computer game. This of course depends on the recipients point of view. The city traffic was not affected but some drivers told me that they were irritated for a short time (which is good). The younger audience who mostly knew the game all recognized this object very well after I explained to them what I am doing.

"Speed" - making of - video, (Bartholl, 2006)

"Random Screen", (Bartholl, 2005)

GIZMODO: "Random Screen" is an electricity-free thermo dynamic display whose pixels are controlled by rising heat from 24 burning candles. Why did you build this project and what types of output would it ideally display?

AB: This work is one of a series of low-tech screen projects that was originally inspired by the Blinkenlights media facade of the Chaos Computer Club in Berlin. The predecessor of "Random Screen" is the Papierpixel project in which a manual screen was controlled by a punched tape system that had to be pre-programmed by hand. Random Screen takes the reduction of the electronics one step further. To use as little technology as possible but still talking in the digital language is a common subject in all my projects. The Random Screen is a very good example for creating a digital look in a most simple and analog way. Loosing the control of the pixels is part of the concept. Each pixel becomes an individual and controls itself. Randomness is the only type of output the display can show. After 20 years sitting in front of a computer screen it was really exiting to develop pixels which are run by fire. With the first prototype I almost burned down the whole office-workshop space I am sharing with ten other people. That was a quite shocking experience and it showed to me how real reality is and how powerful fire is. Coming back from the virtual worlds you do notice that there is no undo or backup in the physical world.

"de_dust", (Bartholl, 2004)

GIZMODO: With "de dust", you've created physical versions (with printed texture maps) of the wooden crates that exist inside the online game "Counter Strike" and installed them onto street corners in urban spaces. How does implanting this "virtual" architecture into real spaces reflect both our pre-occupation with technological escapism and the infiltration of digital objects in our everyday lives? What types of reactions did the crates receive from pedestrians walking by?

AB: Thinking about the relation of game worlds and our real world there is always one question I pose myself. How many people know the same places in virtual worlds and in real life? How many people e.g. have been to Times Square in New York City and how many to "de_dust", the very popular map of Counter-Strike? Millions of gamers have been to the same cities in "World of Warcraft" or have been sitting behind the same crate next to a certain bomb spot in the game Counter-Strike. These spaces and places [have become] a part of our common spatial experience and cultural knowledge. The spatial perceptions of virtual and real world are getting mixed in our experience. Gamers even take group pictures (in fact screenshots) as a souvenir after killing a big monster in "World of Warcraft". On the other hand how well do you know the city you are living in? Which places in the world have you seen with your own eyes? The real physical world we live in should be of course more important than cyberspace. Bringing the crates back from Counter Strike to physical world is a good way to express the merged realities in our heads.

Pedestrians mostly turn around after passing the crates. They get irritated because they think it is a real wood crate and then realize that the pixel pattern is just a flat texture. Some pedestrians who were into game worlds got quite exited because they recognized something very familiar. There is a very nice anecdote about the project "de_dust". About a month ago I got an email from Chris Ashton a game developer of Turtle Rock Studios who told me that he liked the project very much. And, by the way that he was the artist who created all the textures for the map de_dust back in the days when the Mod was developed. Isn't that great? The guy who scanned and Photo-shopped some wood pictures into a game which is essential for a whole generation contacts me, [the person] who brought these wood pixels back to the real world. A cycle has been closed. I really felt honored. Thanks Chris!

"CaseMod", (Bartholl, 2004)

GIZMODO: The "CaseMod" combines a slab of ancient sandstone with a fully functioning Dell 386 DX40S from the 1990s. Why was it important to you to combine these two objects? What new relationships occur and what can we learn from combining old and new materials into hybrid forms?

AB: One of my neighbors is a sculptor and has his workshop in the backyard. He showed me how to use his tools and I had great fun working on sandstone. This craftsmanship is so far away from computer work that I just had to combine it. It breaks up the perspective we are looking at technology, especially at computers. How old is an outdated PC? How old is a stone? Pure nature and human technology combined into one piece. Case modding is a very popular phenomenon. Computer users want to work on their loved machines which is not possible. The technology is so highly developed and so tiny that we can't form computer chips with our bare hands. Instead of the machine itself the covering and periphery of the technology is the victim of the human will to change things.

GIZMODO: What projects are you currently working on? How are they similar or different than your past projects?

AB: Right now I am working on some new screen ideas. A new version of "Random Screen" might appear soon. But I am also still very interested in low-tech locative media and mobile projects. I will not rebuild every object of any computer game but there will be a simultaneously performance of the project, "WoW" at Oklahoma, Boston, Istanbul and Munich within the Upgrade International Network on November 30th, 2006.

Sony pulled Gizmodo into a little back room to play with the final hardware and we've made our decision: Shit ain't half bad for a greyscale, book replacement...it's like a gameboy...for the game of Reading. Here's what we know, what we think, and all our photos, after the jump.

The electronic ink technology is passive, looks good as paper, and only uses power when refreshing, so a single battery charge'll last 7,500 page turns.

The screen is 160 DPI, with a 6-inch display. But we were a little bit too busy admiring the resolution...and furrowing our brow at the ghosting you can see from some of the photos below. And page turns? Sluggish, but obviously fast enough for reading. (Well, for you guys...I'm a speed reader.)

It'll playback DRM'd books you can purchase through the Connect Bookstore (more on that later), with titles provided by all the major publishing houses. But it's easy enough to use simple text, RTF, PDF (unprotected)), JPGs, GIFs, MP3s, and AAC files. It'll even do RSS feed...including some Gawker titles, thank you very much!

Yes, it'll playback greyscale images, or music files from its Memory Stick, or SD card. (Yes, SD card) The greyscale images look all right.

MP3 playback is totally not recommended. Sure, you'd think it would be good for audio books, but I can't imagine what digital audio playback does for battery life on this guy. And once you're in book mode, it takes over 10 clicks to get to MP3 control menus to, say, switch a track or stop playing, and then go back to reading. Hmmmph.

It charges via USB (6 hours) or a PSP-type power adapter (4 hours).

There are a lot of buttons on this thing, including two sets of page up/down triggers. We liked the bookmark button, which also dog-ears the page.

Dedicated volume buttons? All right. Then there's the 10 digit menu pad on the bottom of the screen that correlates with the numbers on the right hand side of the screen. Those numbers are for going through menus, not entering page numbers to jump to. WTF?

You might ask yourself why there isn't a simple digital cross for all the controls. That's easy — every time you clicked up or down, it would count as a page refresh, and drain the Reader's juice.

The Connect Store looks..iTunes-ish. That's a good thing. Oh, and you can redownload your purchased books, which is sweet. Books should be cheaper than paperbacks, but that stuff is set by the publishers. Should be 10,000 titles or so, and all major pubs are playing ball to combat those evil libraries and second-hand book stores.
–Brian Lam

The night light uses LEDs.

The dock transfers data and recharging power, and fits the Reader in and out of its leather case.

Let me spell it out for you: When you search for a gas station, it returns street directions, but also the pump prices. When you search for a movie theater, it returns movie times. Your maps never get out of date, and your points of interest database could be pulled from all the Google/Yahoo!/Yelp types of sites, giving you access to a practically unlimited number of...roadside Denny's.

And then there's traffic hive-mind thingy...(jump)

UPDATE: Whoops! Photo works now...thanks B.A. Kotaku.

Instead of merely reporting accidents and moving you away from them, the Dash comes with historical traffic data that goes hour by hour, per section of road. That means it knows that highway 80's average speed is about, oh, 20 miles per hour at 5pm going towards the bridge. And in the middle of the night, it should be 60.

But that doesn't account for one time delays like ballgame traffic and accidents. Say someone using a Dash is stuck in some traffic like that. The Dash GPSs uses its cellular data link to report slowdown to the Dash central server, which kicks down the fresh data to other users in the area. So your Dash is part of a traffic avoiding hive mind. Think about it&Mdash; Big cities are full of traffic, and early adopters, so this could really work.

Dash GPS's connectivity also makes it pretty easy to program. You can use the touchscreen. Or you can select an address on your PC, right click, and select "Send to Dash" to move it directly to your device. In the demo I saw, this took about 1 second. (Below)

Another thing that impressed me about Dash was how effectively it searches for stuff you need. Eric searched for propane, and the GPS hooked into Yahoo!, where it pulled back results for hardware stores, and other places that didn't actually have the word propane in the store's title. The web interface is tweakable, too.

One could setup Dash to update RSS feeds with geographic data, for things like apartments on craigslist, or dog parks.

The screens here are from a prototype device, so the UI has a long way to go before it starts shipping in early 2007. The hardware is a little thick around the middle, but that's ok considering this isn't meant to be a pocketable GPS, considering all that connect-licious wireless gear inside.

PS, Cory D. and the EFF Gangstas: These guys are insanely pre-cautious when it comes to privacy of location data, too. Pricing? Not yet.–Brian Lam

[Dash.net]

But we only had a few minutes, and decided to squeeze some more Zune info out of him, including well as the choice quote we've put in the headline. (We're no newspaper jerks, so I'll tell you he didn't mean it in a bad way.) Man, is that guy good at doing the hypnotic PR speak. The uncrackable egg! Here's the transcript, minus the fluff:

Giz: Why should iPod users switch to a Zune?
J Allard:The wrong consumer to start with is...

(Jump!)

the one who says "You'll take my ipod from my cold clammy hands."
People love their social networks, though. If they're over email, IM, or on the web, it's integrated into their lives. We want to bring that to portable music. Digital music is far front done. Ipod is the Pong of digital music. Let's take it to the next level. And connected is what its all about.

The other thing is video. It's a much more inclusive part of people's life. Especially tail end video [referring to Wired and Chris Anderson's Long Tail theories]. How do we bring that to pockets? Oh yes: People said we want a bigger screen [than the ipod].

Giz: OK, if I'm using a Zune, am I really going to troll Wifi for other people's music? What is that going to do for battery life?
J Allard:It's a tough problem, and we're not done with it yet. What we have is different power modes. Oversimplifying, we have a beacon mode that says "I'm around." The next level that uses more power says "hey, I want to do something, and share, whether that's music, photos."

Giz: I heard you're a Snowcrash fan. You're obviously inspired by Sci Fi. Any other concepts from author Neal Stephenson's books that you'd like to see implemented at any point in zune?
J Allard:The metaverse is far from being built. The opportunity for connected communities in games, music has a long way to go.
Sure, new Zune devices will come. They'll be fun, they'll be exciting. But like Xbox, we're going to keep adding features to the core idea. We're just scratching the surface with the WiFi and peer-to-peer connectivity. Put WiFi in, start with one or two scenarios that users will understand. A few times a year, we'll update the firmware, and let consumers do new and exciting things.

Giz: You have a track record for Cool at Microsoft. And the Kotaku guys, they practically stalk you. So, indulge us with some fantasies. Suppose you're in charge of the company. What would you do differently.

J Allard:I wouldn't change much. There are already bright, passionate people at Microsoft who understand digital music, and games, and who are tired of seeing complacency...Maybe I'd hire a bodyguard. The Kotaku stalking thing is kind of creepy.

J Allard is a big shot at Microsoft, with the official title of "Corporate Vice President and Chief XNA Architect." To us, he's the guy that woke up Microsoft to things like, um, the INTERNET. And the man who convinced Billy G. to go ahead with the Xbox. Here's a great profile of him, from Wired.