So much in love with shiny new toys, it's unnatural.
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One day when Man has long been eradicated from the Earth by a combination of radioactive cellphones and tainted jalapeno snack chips, computers will take our place. And just like us, the will have insecurities about intelligence and body image. The cartoon Computer Fight puts the whole ordeal into perspective, so hit the link if you can handle a taste of MODE 7!!!!!! [Something Awful]
After Darth Vader kicked a Jedi Master's ass with the Dark Side of the Crutch, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant against the Lord of the Sith. After dictating it, he added: "I hope the force will soon be with him" (really—God save the Judge, Queen, and English humor.) Vader arrived later, pleading guilty to assault. During the trial, however, the court found that the events weren't exactly as we were initially told: the Jedis were actually even more moronic than previously imagined.
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After a long week, there's nothing like dipping our toes in the schadenfreude of watching people beat the shit out of each other with an obsolete gadget. What old and busted gadget would you use to go all American Gladiator on your office? [College Humor]
10:00 PM on Fri Apr 11 2008
By matt buchanan
10,139 views,
28 comments
Latest by discounteggroll: @Gofastmazda: your typewriter needs more ribbon, and probably a current-gen qwerty keyboard. Loafer... more »
A drunk guy dressed as Darth Vader, wielding a metal crutch, and probably making sounds like *swwoooshh* and *pew*pew*, assaulted and effectively kicked the ass of the founder of the first Jedi Church of England. The dork, a hairdresser called Barney Jones whose Jedi name is Master Hehol, was beaten down in his garden by the anonymous Vader while he was being interviewed for a documentary. Really. We mean this. The Jedi actually had this to say after the assault:
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Battlebots never quite made sense on Comedy Central, but hell, we'd watch robots fight on the Spanish channel hosted by that bee suit guy if necessary. Now the show is coming back, limiting the challenge pool to collegiate and pro competition and airing on ESPN2 or ESPNU. Plus, some other neat changes are in the works as well.
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fight back
Although Mossberg's Lenovo X300 vs. MacBook Air fight compared things like weight, portability, inputs and functionality, it didn't compare the thing that power users care about—performance—in absolute numbers. Notebook Review did. In their CPU benchmark, the Air finished the test in 68 seconds while the X300 took an almost double the time at 118 seconds. Things flipped around when they tried another benchmark.
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launch your lunch
8:00 PM on Mon Jan 21 2008
By Jason Chen
33,051 views,
84 comments
bitch fight
fight!
OLPC's XO Laptop and Asus's Eee PC have been bloody rivals in people's minds, whether or not the totally comparison's fair. The Eee's well-reviewed and popular, while XO's target audience has poo-pooed on it and the WSJ has laid out how it's being murdered by competition. Nonetheless, Laptop Mag aims to settle a running thread in our own comments: Which super cheap laptop reigns supreme?
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You think that Steve Wozniak (sexy hunk on left) has already filled as much of your techie heart as humanly possible, and then he starts dating Kathy Griffin and you kind of don't know how that makes you feel because you were never much of a fan, and then he blesses iPhone unlockers everywhere with his glorious, sweaty Woz hands.From a business point of view, Apple owns what they have done. They have a right to lock it. But I am really for the unlockers, the rebels trying to make it free.We're liking this...rebels. More »
After kicking George Foreman's ass in the ring, Evander Holyfield hopes to kick his ass again in the kitchen (with a grill, not boxing gloves). After signing with manufacturer CirTran Corp, Holyfield produced a 30-minute infomercial about the $99 Real Deal Grill that will surely Change Your Life. At the moment, we're only moderately excited about the new animal-flesh-charring matchup. Get Don King on the line and then maybe we'll talk. [defamer/AP]
According to multiple Business Week sources, Apple has been considering the merits of bidding on the 700Mhz open wireless spectrum that goes up for grabs this January. Expected to sell for around $9 billion, most say Apple has the liquidity to make the purchase—even among competition like Google.
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9:38 AM on Mon Sep 10 2007
By Mark Wilson
7,124 views,
38 comments
A reader of ours recently 
fight sassy with sassy
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