I'd still be freaking out about the fact that I didn't have any fingerprints.
"Sir, we have a problem. You don't have any fingerprints."
"I don't have any fingerprints? What the hell is that all about?"
"Actually sir, that's not the primary issue. The primary issue is that we can't positively identify you."
"Hells bells it's not the primary issue. It is exactly the primary issue. Why the hell don't I have any fingerprints? Have you heard of such a thing? What the hell is wrong with me? Am I going to die?"
"Sir. Please, we just need you to..."
"I'm sorry, don't you remember what you just said to me 30 seconds ago? Let me remind you. I DON'T HAVE FINGERPRINTS! *lifts shirt* I have a belly button, so apparently my memories haven't been implanted into a robot or a clone...but seriously...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY FINGERPRINTS!"
"...once the officials determined that he wasn't dangerous."
You've accidentally deleted the last sentence of your story.
...once the officials determined that he wasn't dangerous. However, as a safety precaution, TSA officials required that his fingers be remanded into custody pending further investigation.
@bosskev: Wow, a TSA joke. How original. Too bad it's actually CBP that would control his entry into the country. It's that type of ignorance, heard on a daily basis, that makes TSA officers so surly.
@_rt_100: Well, even I admit it was a pretty lame joke, but a joke nonetheless.
@Shivver: But, hell--Shivver, jeezus! You say, "...makes TSA officers so surly". Um, you wouldn't by chance, you know, be a TSA officer yourself, would you? I mean, no reason I'd be asking comes to mind...
Awesome. With the increasing usage of touchscreens, this will make the future that much more tolerable. I hate touchscreens for the very reason that I can't stand the fingerprint smudges. I mean, I couldn't care less that it's not actually clean, just so long as I don't have to look at the smudges.
Ahh, false cleanliness... You really must love the worrisome attitude of "everyman" that needs to Purel the world - spreading around the dirt until it dries to a crust on your "clean" hands.
As for this surface, coat windows with the stuff, that way there's no discernible prints for the cops to pick up. Guns still make explosive residue.
Of course, you could just use gloves to commit your crime.
@Winston Smith: They do have something that serves a similar purpose out in the market already.
Essentially it's a thin piece of material - sometimes cloth, but usually leather or latex - that you use to cover your hands. It absorbs the fingerprint oil on the inside leaving no residue on the outside.
Apparently some versions also have a secondary benefit of keeping your hands warm.
07/02/09
Like the speed dial numbers of old, I'm never going to remember more than one or two combinations.
05/28/09
"Sir, we have a problem. You don't have any fingerprints."
"I don't have any fingerprints? What the hell is that all about?"
"Actually sir, that's not the primary issue. The primary issue is that we can't positively identify you."
"Hells bells it's not the primary issue. It is exactly the primary issue. Why the hell don't I have any fingerprints? Have you heard of such a thing? What the hell is wrong with me? Am I going to die?"
"Sir. Please, we just need you to..."
"I'm sorry, don't you remember what you just said to me 30 seconds ago? Let me remind you. I DON'T HAVE FINGERPRINTS! *lifts shirt* I have a belly button, so apparently my memories haven't been implanted into a robot or a clone...but seriously...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY FINGERPRINTS!"
05/28/09
05/28/09
Oh and no, she has never had cancer (thankfully).
05/28/09
05/28/09
05/28/09
05/28/09
You've accidentally deleted the last sentence of your story.
...once the officials determined that he wasn't dangerous. However, as a safety precaution, TSA officials required that his fingers be remanded into custody pending further investigation.
05/28/09
05/28/09
05/28/09
@Shivver: But, hell--Shivver, jeezus! You say, "...makes TSA officers so surly". Um, you wouldn't by chance, you know, be a TSA officer yourself, would you? I mean, no reason I'd be asking comes to mind...
10/31/08
10/31/08
As for this surface, coat windows with the stuff, that way there's no discernible prints for the cops to pick up. Guns still make explosive residue.
Of course, you could just use gloves to commit your crime.
10/31/08
Would make life much more worry-free!
10/31/08
10/31/08
10/31/08
Essentially it's a thin piece of material - sometimes cloth, but usually leather or latex - that you use to cover your hands. It absorbs the fingerprint oil on the inside leaving no residue on the outside.
Apparently some versions also have a secondary benefit of keeping your hands warm.