You can download Media Manager for Mac over at Verizon.
[Zats Not Funny]

UPDATE: Looks like there was a late entry to our list of current top spokesassholes: Miss Julia Allison has just signed a yearlong deal to peddle Sony's wares. About time that her attention-whoring went global! [Sony Insider via Gawker]

Thanks, Rob B. for the inspiration!

Catherine Zeta-Jones: Back and Worse Than Ever

Some of us were near tears when T-Mobile decided to drop Zeta-Jones as their official spokesasshole, but the good news is that she's back. The bad news is that as soon as we heard her nerve-grinding accent, we remembered that those were tears of joy.

Sir Richard Branson, Kind-Hearted Snob

It was difficult to deem Sir Richard Branson as a spokesasshole. He is such a nice man and only wants innovative technology to reach those from "all walks of life"—assuming that they make $40 million annually, of course.

Laptop Hunters Lauren, Giampaolo and Lisa

Lisa, Lauren, and Giampaolo are the biggest spokesassholes in the Laptop Hunters commercials. Lisa shatters eardrums with her exclamation of "WhaaaaAAAAaat?!?!", Lauren followed the ads up with claims that they were unscripted, and Giampaolo is just plain smarmy.

Acer Timeline's Metrosexual Model

It isn't the first time Acer has made questionable advertising decisions, but did they really have to hire Giampaolo's brother to model for the Acer Timeline?

Maybe one day he'll button up the shirt and put on some sunglasses that don't look like they're his girlfriend's. I hope he didn't quit his day job (waiter? male prostitute?) when he landed this gig, because it won't last long.

Verizon Probably Only Merged With Alltel To Get Rid of Chad

Verizon and Alltel may have merged, but we've still seen Chad's picture looming around Alltel's website. With his spiky blonde hair, laid back walk, and inability to take a hint, he's a true menagerie of what this gallery represents.

Wes Moss? Why, Microsoft? Why?

Zune Spokesasshole Wes Moss nearly broke our douche point scale. If you can stand watching this Zune spot, after those Laptop Hunter ads, you'll see why.

Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre's Monster Mess

Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine are two ridiculously wealthy guys who decide, in their spare time, to become even more wealthy by peddling some overpriced headphones. Even if you ignore the fact that they're distributed by Monster, and even if you admit that the headphones aren't that bad—there's no way the duo can't escape the spokesasshole brand.

Photo by jakeludington

Hi, I'm Justin Long, Spokesasshole Extraordinaire

It's not much of a secret that some of us here are Apple fans, but not even that stopped us from pronouncing Apple's "I'm a Mac" guy and his smug attitude and thinly veiled disdain for PC as spokesasshole material.

Tamara Hope in the Return of the Stoner Commercials

The Palm Pre commercials started off terribly and only got worse until we stepped in with a remix. Though since it seems that Palm was really giving a nod to Ellen Feiss of Mac Switcher fame with these creepy "What is she on and where can I get some?" commercials, we'll only rate actress Tamara Hope as half a spokesasshole.

Michael "AWESOME" Bay and Verizon FiOS

We can forgive Michael Bay for not sharing video footage of Megan Fox washing his car, since he at least had her show a bit of skin in Transformers 2. What we can't forgive him for his display of spokesassholery in this pitch for Verizon FiOS. By the fifth "AWESOME!" things turn from funny to "Please walk into the next exploding building, Michael."

Ashton Kutcher, Nikon's Smooth Operator

You've got to hand it to Kutcher. The man with a million Twitter sheep has risen from underwear model to annoying spokesasshole and GI Jane toy-boy. Though we can't help but see Kelso every time he's fumbling around on screen.

It's actually more useful than just painstakingly banging out 140 characters on your remote—which you can't do, incidentally, since 1.0 of the app is "read only"—using the metadata from the guide, the Twitter app will show you tweets about whatever you're watching. That's right, see people hate on A-Rod in real time while you watch the Yankees game. It uses search, rather than hashtags, to power the feed. You can also check out the standard trending topics, though you can't see what your friends up are up to—it's just the community-oriented stuff for now, so it's Twitter as pulse checker, rather than Twitter (that's coming later). Reinforcing that is the fact that the channel you're watching never goes away—it's a vertical ticker setup, essentially.

Facebook is also consume-only in this version, with the exception of being able to update your status with what you're watching. You can scope out your friends' status updates, photos and that kind of thing. The major drawback is that it only supports one profile per FiOS box, though multiple profile support's coming.

The local and streaming and internet video stuff I saw a year ago is hitting later this month, with the exception of YouTube—you'll get DailyMotion, Veoh and blip.tv. Don't hold your breath for Hulu or Netflix though, since Verizon's got their own on demand stuff they want you to watch (and they think internet video is crappier video quality). Where they see themselves, essentially, is bringing internet stuff to TV for people who don't want to go out and buy an Apple TV or Roku box. No word about that Slingbox streaming feature, though.

While Twitter and Facebook are among the first handful of widgets for the Widget Bazaar, growth won't be explosive—six months into the program, expect only around 40 widgets, since Verizon's not planning for a "wide open" development community. The other major update is under the hood—an architectural change that will let them update widgets and content constantly, whereas before, they were stuck pushing updates only a few times a year. (It actually sounds pretty similar to the New Xbox Experience, in that a lot of the stuff will be in the cloud and sent on demand, not sitting on your box.) A brand new use interface is coming over the next year as well, but it'll be rolled out gradually.

So perhaps not so coincidentally, Verizon's FiOS should be getting a lot more interesting around the same time cable's offerings will be. [Verizon]

Midsize ISP DSLExtreme has announced that it will be offering a 50mbps service in 17 states at an introductory rate of $100/mo. This will climb to $105 after the first year, but still undercuts Verizon's standard price (in most markets) of $145/mo. The weird thing? DSLExtreme is beating Verizon's prices on Verizon's own service. The ISP has become a FiOS wholesaler, meaning that DSLExtreme's service operates on their fiber, through their network.

That makes it all the more odd that they can undercut a giant like Verizon, but they're doing it anyway. Voodoo! Economics! [Ars Technica]

That content streaming feature, confirmed by senior VP Eric Rabe, is definitely in the works, pending the resolution of some agreements (we imagine they'll have many tiresome meetings with the networks before that gets ironed out). In addition, they'll be adding support so the FiOS box can stream video content from networked PCs (and Macs)—at the moment, only audio and photos are supported, so this'll be a nice change.

Not so interesting is the distressing news that Verizon has apparently discovered social networking. That means Facebook and Twitter support in the form of widgets, because lord knows that's what we all need. The Twitter widget could be used to discuss programs as they air, in case you don't have a laptop or friends.

An interesting tidbit: Looks like Verizon has, right now, the capability to bring us 100Mbps internet, but they've made the decision not to offer it at the moment. Their reasoning is that their highest speed plans are already not particularly popular, and, oddly, that there's "no practical use" for such blazing speed.

And finally, it looks like they'll be making the guide widescreen and HD instead of the positively archaic full-screen guide they use now. HD for all! [Gear Live]

Boingo is the world's largest WiFi hotspot provider with over 100,000, and even though I'd never heard of them, it turns out they've got hotspots all over the place: Starbucks, McDonald's, Barnes and Noble, and various hotels all use Boingo. The sources were specific that this offer would be extended to FiOS and DSL customers only, which notably excludes Verizon Wireless customers. Not that we're surprised, given Verizon's infuriating tendency to strip WiFi capability from its already unexciting line of phones, but we were really hoping Verizon would step up and finally give its customers what they want.

The details are still fuzzy, like whether it'll be regional or global access (and it had better be the latter), but it seems like a pretty fair bet that Verizon home customers will be seeing some free WiFi hotspot action in the near future. [WSJ via Boy Genius Report]

Sounds crazy, but he cites the historical example of rural telephony, where the public owned the wire, not private companies. It'd work like this: A city or neighborhood would all have fiber run to it at once, and then you'd purchase a share of the fiber and connect to whatever ISP you want. There'd be a connection point where any company could pay to set up equipment and offer service, which is sort of how it works in Amsterdam, Slater explains.

Once a normal thing, it's now a pretty powerful idea, choosing your ISP—in most places, you don't have a choice. There's Comcast. There's Time Warner. Or whoever the local monopoly is. Choice breeds competition: Where do you think cable companies are rolling out fiber-fast internet? It's not a coincidence it's where Verizon or AT&T are offering high-speed internet. And this could be the way to speed up the painfully slow rollout of Godzilla internet in the US, especially in those rural areas. [Fora.TV via digg]

This guy HAS to be related to Christian Slater. I was like, "Hey it looks like Christian Slater giving a lecture." And then the name "Derek SLATER" popped up. Speaking of, did anybody that watch show he had on NBC, where he had the split personality, before it got canceled? Surprisingly not bad.

Essentially, Verizon argues that Cablevision is trying to pump all this bandwidth through their crappy cable infrastructure, and it won't hold up, with bandwidth hogs lowering everybody else's speeds. Furthermore, the true speeds will be slower once users have to deal with the speeds of the servers they're trying to access. Oh, and also, nobody wants such high speeds.

But then they start bragging about how fast their service is. But wait, I thought no one wanted fast speeds and, in any case, fast speeds were impossible to actually get thanks to slow servers? Which is it?

The fact of the matter is this: Cablevision is offering higher speeds at lower prices than you, Verizon. You can make your BS contradictory arguments all you want, but no one is going to pay you much mind. Offer up higher speeds at lower prices. That is what people will notice.

Bring on the battle of the high-speed providers, I say. [Verizon Policy Blog via Boy Genius]

The package includes 15Mbps upstream, and it's $100 a month. And everyone in Cablevision's service area—suburban New York—will be able to get a piece. Verizon FiOS's speediest package now looks comparatively pokey: 50Mbps down, 20Mbps up.

On the other hand, while we're dazzled by insane internet speeds that were previously exclusively to cradles of technology like Korea and Japan, we shouldn't forget the otherwise miserable state of broadband here. As Cablevision deploys DOCSIS 3.0 with full force, Time Warner is pulling back on it following the backlash to its proposed caps in cities outside of Beaumont, Texas. Meanwhile, Comcast employs caps and throttling, while AT&T tests caps on its U-Verse service.

So it's still going to be a while before we can pat our ISPs on the back for the wonderful, speedy service they're providing. [Bits]

Verizon technology director Vincent O'Byrne declared 2009 the year America finally breaks the 100Mbps barrier that Hong Kongers have, well, long since passed. O'Byrne was quick to note that the bump in speed isn't really essential to most Verizon customers, but that the number represents more of a marketing milestone that could give them a one-up on chief competitor Comcast.

Later, a Verizon spokesperson contacted Telephony Online, the original reporter, to perform some spectacular hedging: "Verizon expects to have its delivery processes for speeds like that locked down in 2009 so that service with speeds approaching 100 Mb/s would be enabled in the very near future," the spokesperson said. So Verizon is going to hit that landmark 100Mbps soon, but it appears for now there's no guarantee. No pricing was made available, either, although the current fastest tier, at 50Mbps, costs $145 without bundled phone service. [DSL Reports]

AT&T CUSTOMERS CONNECT FASTER WITH NEW 18 MBPS U-VERSE HIGH SPEED INTERNET SERVICE

AT&T Offers More Speed, More Choices With Its Fastest Broadband Service Ever

DALLAS, Nov. 6, 2008 — For millions of consumers with a need for more speed, the broadband choices just got better. AT&T Inc. (NYSE:T) today announced it will launch AT&T U-verseSM High Speed Internet Max 18 on Nov. 9, offering speeds of up to 18 Mbps downstream. Exclusively available for AT&T U-verse TV customers, Max 18 is the fastest high speed Internet package available from the nation’s leading provider of broadband services.

In addition to more speed, U-verse Internet customers have the freedom to enjoy their broadband connection in more places — all at no extra cost. All U-verse Internet customers receive access to the nation’s largest Wi-Fi network with free connectivity at more than 17,000 AT&T Wi-FiSM hot spots. Wireless home networking is also included.

“With our new Max 18 service, customers get another way to stay connected faster,” said Ralph de la Vega, chief executive officer of AT&T Mobility and Consumer Markets. “AT&T U-verse High Speed Internet offers fast speeds, at home and on the go with free Wi-Fi, and as part of an integrated quad-play bundle. Max 18 is another way we’re using our U-verse network to provide customers with more choices and innovative services.”

AT&T U-verse High Speed Internet Max 18 will be available to eligible residential customers for $65 a month as part of a bundle with AT&T U-verse TV. Professional installation is included for new U-verse TV customers, and eligible existing U-verse Internet customers can upgrade their package at any time without additional installation costs or appointments.

The introduction of Max 18 arrives at the perfect time for consumers who are going online for their holiday shopping, purchasing home services to accompany new electronics gifts and planning holiday travel.

AT&T’s Internet Protocol (IP)-based network provides customers who bundle U-verse services with advanced, integrated capabilities. For example, U-verse TV and Internet customers have the ability to program their digital video recorder (DVR) while away from home using a PC or wireless device; personalize AT&T U-bar to display customized weather, sports and stock information on their U-verse TV screen; and browse their online photos on a personal U-verse TV channel. AT&T U-verse TV ranked “Highest in Customer Satisfaction in the North Central, South, and West Regions,” according to the J.D. Power and Associates 2008 Residential Television Service Provider Satisfaction StudySM.

AT&T is the nation’s largest provider of broadband service, with 14.8 million broadband lines in service as of the third quarter of 2008. AT&T U-verse services are available to millions of homes across 15 states.

For additional information on AT&T U-verse — or to find out if it’s available in your area — visit http://uverse.att.com or call 800-ATT-2020.

[AT&T]

AT&T U-VERSE INTRODUCES TOTAL HOME DVR, TAKING

‘WHEN YOU WANT, WHERE YOU WANT’ TV VIEWING

TO WHOLE NEW LEVEL

Latest U-verse TV Enhancement — Made Possible by IP Technology — Enables DVR Playback on Any TV Throughout the Home

DALLAS, Sept. 9, 2008 — DVRs have given customers the flexibility to watch TV programs on their schedules, but limited where the programs can be watched by restricting recorded content to certain TV sets and rooms in the home. Now that’s about to change for AT&T U-verseSM TV customers. Using the power of AT&T’s Internet Protocol (IP) network, families no longer have to plan how or where they watch and record their favorite shows.

AT&T Inc. (NYSE:T) today announced the launch of AT&T U-verse Total Home DVR, giving U-verse TV customers the freedom to play back Standard Definition (SD) and High Definition (HD) recorded programs on any connected TV in the home.

U-verse Total Home DVR is now being introduced to customers in the Bay Area at no additional charge and is planned for deployment to all U-verse TV customers by the end of 2008.

“AT&T U-verse is about providing the latest in entertainment and technology for a better TV experience,” said Jeff Weber, AT&T vice president of video products. “With our 100 percent IP network, we are able to constantly evolve features and services to match the needs of viewers. Total Home DVR is the latest addition to our portfolio of unmatched features that give U-verse customers more control, on any TV, at a great price.”

AT&T U-verse Total Home DVR customers can:

• Watch HD and SD DVR recordings on other connected TVs in the home. In addition to your DVR, you can access, play, pause, rewind and fast forward any recorded SD or HD program on up to seven additional U-verse-connected TVs. All U-verse DVRs and receivers are HD-capable.
• Pause a recorded show and pick up where you left off in another room.
• Play back multiple, independent viewings of the same recorded show on different TVs.
• Play back up to four recorded shows at once. Up to three can be HD recorded programs.
• Watch up to five HD programs simultaneously throughout the home, including two live HD programs and three recorded HD programs.
• Record more of the show you want to see with soft padding, which automatically adds 1 minute to the beginning and 2 minutes to the end of each pre-scheduled recording.
• Organize recorded content by series. Series recordings will be grouped as a single heading in the recorded TV menu, making it easier for customers to manage and select their recorded programs.
• Store up to 37 hours of HD content or up to 133 hours of SD content, which is more storage than most cable providers’ DVRs.
• Record up to four programs at once on a single DVR — another feature that is exclusive to AT&T U-verse TV.
• Set the DVR while on the go from your PC or wireless phone. With AT&T Yahoo!® Web and Mobile Remote Access to DVR, you can schedule recordings from any Web-connected PC or compatible mobile phone (wireless service charges apply) by using your AT&T High Speed Internet account.

“While some other providers may claim to offer some form of whole home DVR, AT&T U-verse Total Home DVR is the only one that truly lets you play back recorded programs from a single DVR on any connected TV in the house,” Weber said.

Using IP technology, Total Home DVR capabilities will be seamlessly provided to existing customers’ DVRs without the need to swap their current equipment. The U-verse network architecture and IPTV service allow Total Home DVR functionality to be enabled by a software update, without any action or hassle for existing customers. The updates occur on a market-by-market basis, and existing AT&T U-verse customers in a market will gain the new functionality as their home equipment receives the update.

Total Home DVR is the latest addition to the constantly evolving suite of features that has been introduced to all U-verse TV customers at no extra charge since the AT&T U-verse launch in June 2006. These include:

• Mobile Remote Access to DVR, which lets you schedule and manage DVR recordings from any compatible mobile phone.
• AT&T U-bar, which brings customizable weather, stock, sports and traffic information to the U-verse TV screen, without interrupting the current program.
• AT&T Online Photos from Flickr, which allows you to simply and conveniently browse the photos you've uploaded to flickr.com and watch slide shows on your U-verse TV screen from the comfort of your couch.
• Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football, which allows you to track the progress of your fantasy team — including current team matchups and league standings — directly from your TV screen through the AT&T U-bar.
• YELLOWPAGES.COM TV, for fast and easy searches to find local businesses and other information via your TV screen.
• AT&T Yahoo! Games, so you can play your favorite online games — including Sudoku, Solitaire, JT’s Blocks, Mah-jongg Tiles and Chess — on the TV screen.

AT&T has also announced today the availability of AT&T U-verse Voice to all U-verse eligible customers in the Bay Area, bringing consumers a next-generation digital voice service with unique integrated features. AT&T U-verse services are currently available to more than 580,000 living units in the greater Bay Area, marking a significant expansion since AT&T U-verse launched locally in December 2006.

In the future, AT&T plans to add to its Total Home DVR service with the ability to schedule recordings and pause or control live TV from non-DVR receivers.

AT&T is deploying next-generation AT&T U-verse services as part of its mission to connect people with their world, everywhere they live and work, and do it better than anyone else. Customers benefit from integrated AT&T services across the three screens they value most: the TV, the PC and the wireless phone.

For additional information on AT&T U-verse — or to find out if it’s available in your area — visit http://uverse.att.com, call 800-ATT-2020 or visit a local AT&T retail location.

The Best TV Service Just Got Even Better - Special Promotion Makes Signing Up for FiOS TV Even Sweeter

Cable Can't Compete With Ultimate Home-Entertainment Experience From
Verizon; Promotion Offers Free High-Def Digital Video Recorder for 12
Months and Free Month of HBO/Cinemax for New FiOS TV Customers

NEW YORK, Aug. 12 /PRNewswire/ — As TV lovers look forward to the
start of the new fall programming season, Verizon is making it easier to
enjoy the ultimate home-entertainment experience — with a new promotional
savings offer for FiOS TV.

New customers who subscribe to FiOS TV between now and Oct. 4 will
receive their choice of a year's free use of either a high-definition (HD)
digital video recorder (DVR) or an HD Home Media DVR. Verizon is also
offering new FiOS TV customers, or existing customers who upgrade to a
bundled package, one free month of HBO and Cinemax, which includes the
latest hit movies, documentaries and original programming from more than 25
premium channels and access to hundreds of titles on video-on-demand (VOD).
New customers who take advantage of this offer will save between $200 and
$260 the first year, depending upon the DVR customers choose.

"High-def is hot, and FiOS TV is delivered over the network that's
built for HD," said Shawn Strickland, vice president of video solutions for
Verizon. "Our new offer combines the excitement of premium movies with the
convenience and advanced technology of our high-def DVRs. It's a great time
for people to experience HD the way it's meant to be seen, with the
sharpness and clarity of FiOS TV."

With Verizon's unique Home Media DVR, customers can use one DVR to
record programming that can then be watched on up to six other TV sets in
the home. This includes viewing up to three separately recorded programs
simultaneously on different TV sets, and the ability to pause recorded
programming on one set and then continue watching it on another. FiOS TV's
Home Media DVR is bundled with Media Manager, a feature that allows
customers to access photos and music from their personal computers and play
them on their TV or home theater system.

According to Greg Ireland, consumer video research manager for the
industry analyst firm IDC, this new promotional offer is unusual and
impressive because it focuses on features that can positively transform the
viewer experience — and in the case of Home Media DVR, it offers a unique
service that none of the major cable TV providers can deliver to their
customers system-wide.

"What makes this promotion compelling is the fact that it focuses on an
increasingly popular feature, the DVR, in a way that will appeal to both
late- and early-adopters of DVRs," said Ireland. "With this offer,
consumers who have always wanted a DVR can get one for free for 12 months
by moving to FiOS TV. And those that already use a DVR can extend that
experience throughout their home at no charge for 12 months by signing up
for FiOS TV and its Home Media DVR service. This is a good example of how a
service provider can leverage its technological advantages to attract new
business."

In addition to FiOS TV, Verizon offers FiOS Internet service over its
advanced network, with connection speeds as high as up to 50 Megabits per
second (Mbps) downstream and 20 Mbps upstream.

"FiOS is the fastest Internet, period," said Strickland. "When you
combine our superior voice, video and broadband — all delivered on our
advanced network — with unbeatable packages, it's clear that cable just
can't compete."

Verizon's FiOS TV service is delivered over the nation's largest
all-fiber network, straight to customers' homes and businesses, and
features pure digital HD quality and sound as well as an expanding HD
channel lineup, interactive features, diverse content and more. FiOS TV is
currently available to more than 7 million homes in 13 states, and offers
more than 400 all-digital channels, a robust interactive media guide and
other advanced features. Customers also have access to the largest VOD
library, with more than 11,000 titles per month, 70 percent of which are
free. The VOD library includes an increasing number of HD titles, with
plans for 1,000 HD VOD titles per month by the end of the year. For more
information on FiOS TV, visit http://www.verizon.com/fiostv. Consumers can also
call their local Verizon sales office or 888-438-3467.

Verizon Communications Inc. (NYSE: VZ), headquartered in New York, is a
leader in delivering broadband and other wireline and wireless
communication innovations to mass market, business, government and
wholesale customers. Verizon Wireless operates America's most reliable
wireless network, serving nearly 69 million customers nationwide. Verizon's
Wireline operations include Verizon Business, which delivers innovative and
seamless business solutions to customers around the world, and Verizon
Telecom, which brings customers the benefits of converged communications,
information and entertainment services over the nation's most advanced
fiber-optic network. A Dow 30 company, Verizon employs a diverse workforce
of more than 228,600 and last year generated consolidated operating
revenues of $93.5 billion. For more information, visit http://www.verizon.com.

FiOS, as you might know, is Verizon's fiber optic television service (which is now officially invading all of NYC). It's not full-fledged IPTV yet (since it's not delivered entirely as data packets, as I learned a few weeks ago), but Verizon is implementing a lot of the same feature set that IPTV makes available.

Version 1.5 was mostly about meeting regulatory specifications, so they're just now popping in the big features. The onscreen interactivity feature set is a lot like what cable and IPTV are doing—a pop-up will offer bonus or expanded content like clips or info—and it'll debut with a bunch of NBC Olympics interactive content, which will be the Verizon framework's first major test. Essentially any network can dump content into Verizon's framework, and voila, interactive content ahoy.

FiOS TV 1.6 also adds in RSS feeds from content partners, providing live info like traffic, weather and horoscopes (apparently their test groups really wanted them). Unfortunately, right now, you can't add in your own feeds (like Giz) but the framework is there to do it in the future. Currently, weather and traffic are the ones you'll actually check out. One weird quirk is that you have to pause whatever you're watching before you start reading feeds—you can't pause TV while you're reading.

Starting with 1.6, you'll be able to stream two HD streams to multiple rooms in the house, even with the current boxes—Verizon's goal is to have feature parity across all hardware. But one of the more awesome, though subtle, features is the ability to pause a channel, swap to another one, pause it, then go back—so you could juggle two football games or Heroes and football, whatever. They've also added in filters, so you can have the menu show you just your HD channels, just family channels or just movies, to cut down on the amount of crap you have to scroll through. A fully personalized setup like AT&T showed off is probably a version or two away, though. Scheduling recording by web and phone is in the works too, though it'll start out as a premium feature set and trickle down.

What Verizon is doing that's somewhat unique is a hidden form of social networking. There's a new section called "What's Hot on FiOS." It tells you the top five most popular shows in your area at that second, live. So if you don't know what to watch, you can just check out what everyone else is. This works for On Demand stuff too.

And now for the future stuff (which is actually built into the 1.6 update, but it's hidden, so if you hacked your box....): Integrated web video, of course. YouTube, Veoh, Break and Blip.TV for now. It's sectioned off in the menu, so people don't expect to be blown by awesome vid quality, I'm told. The setup actually uses your PC as a proxy, so you actually have to have it turned on to watch web video. But you can also stream pretty much any video, any codec flavor on the fly, from your PC to your TV. The search engine isn't that great yet, and typing is annoying, but it's nice to see this stuff integrated and easily pushed to your TV. If trials all go well, you'll see this stuff on boxes as early as spring 2009. If not, well, things get murkier.

The fact that most of this stuff will be in people's houses by the end of this year does seem to put FiOS ahead in the feature war, even though Time Warner actually has a bunch of its suped-up tru2way boxes in the wild. Either way, it proves that TV as we know it is going to change, at least a little bit, by letting in stuff from outside the garden, no matter who your provider is.

But first, the basics. The difference between the TV you're used to and this fancy IPFreelyTV stuff is that IPTV is delivered to you like any other data sent over the internet—in data packets. You even plug an Ethernet cable into your receiver box/DVR. Of course, the internet's a messy place with lots of muck bouncing around the pipes and you'd be really pissed if the Yankees game stuttered or crapped out, so this is all running on the telco's "walled garden" network with a fat, dedicated lane for video. (Your internet service, which is bundled since it's running on the same network, runs on a different lane, delineated by quality-of-service, or QoS, protocols.)

Now that that's out of the way, back to why its good for HD. With a standard cable setup, the channels are basically always being piped into your home, whether you're watching or not. To add more channels, they've gotta compress 'em down farther or open the pipe up, especially since HD eats up a lot of bandwidth. Since IPTV is sent in regular ol' data packets and the system is two-way (the nature of internet protocol), they're basically only sending what you ask for, when you ask for it. So theoretically, they could offer way more HD channels than cable, since they're not as limited here. Also, like that mythical Xbox 360 IPTV box, the number of streams you can watch/record simultaneously is basically only limited by your bandwidth.

The two-wayness of the infrastructure is another point of awesomeness. It can be used for actually useful interactivity—one of AT&T's apps for the Olympics can bring in a stats feed you can check out while watching the game. Or regular internet video, like YouTube, can be piped in and integrated with the other video on your box. It's all just regular data over standard internet protocols, so there's a lot of flexibility to do stuff you simply can't with a traditional setup.

The problem is that building the infrastructure necessary for IPTV service is slow and expensive, largely cause it requires a heavy fiber optic component. Verizon runs fiber all the way to your door (which is why it can offer those crazy FiOS internet speeds), while AT&T runs it to the node, which you're then connected to with copper and (which is why U-Verse internet is slower). So right now, both have puny subscriber numbers—1.2 million FiOS TV customers, and a scant 379,000 on U-Verse TV.

Still, there's a lot of potential in IPTV, even if it's taking forever to get to your doorstep. AT&T actually showed me some of the stuff that could be at your door in the 6-9 months—and beyond—and it's definitely worth getting excited about. We'll be telling you all about it later.

Something we missed, or you still wanna know? Send any questions about IPs, TVs, chewing gum or anything else to tips@gizmodo.com, with "Giz Explains" in the subject line.

Right now, Verizon's FiOS network is built fiber-to-the-premises (FTTP), which means it's fiber all the way to your door, a fact it mercilessly (and rightly) lords over cable and AT&T's U-Verse. U-Verse is built as fiber to the node, where it's fiber to a box you share with your neighbors and connect to via copper or coax. It's slower than FiOS. But, FTTP buildout is really, really expensive—Verizon's spent $20 billion already, way more than AT&T.

And spending even more to build fiber out to sparely populated areas doesn't make much economic sense, even if it is cheaper than expected. (As much as we all want our own personal fiber line.) So, they're leaking for a cheaper alternative, "another approach to FTTP," in Wegleitner's words. That's all well and good, as long as it's still fiber to my door. (Soon, please?) [PC Mag]

DVice has a side-by-side of the FiOS vs. Comcast comparison as well, and things look pretty damn ugly.

The forum poster says that the compression isn't too horrible with still images, but gets really bad when stuff moves around.

The greatest differences are seen with movement. With slow movement on Comcast, the first thing you notice is added noise and a softer image, as fine detail is filtered from the picture signal. The greater the rate of movement, the more detail you lose and the more noise you see. With intense movement, you see more blocking and skipped frames. In VideoRedo, I noticed that a number of frames in the FiOS signal simply did not exist in the Comcast signal during motion intensive scenes. This may be responsible for the stutter and excessive motion blur seen with some video sequences on Comcast.

To Comcast's credit, I saw little to no difference on movie channels such as HBO, Cinemax, and Starz. I did see some blurring and reduced detail during fast movement on Starz, but the recordings from Cinemax and HBO were virtually identical, even on action movies such as 300 and Gladiator. When there was blocking on the Comcast feed of Cinemax, that blocking was also on the FiOS feed.

[AVSforum via DVice]