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08/18/09
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07/04/09
Thanks, Gizmodo, and happy 4th of July.
07/04/09
Have a glorious Independence Day, everyone!
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
I understand you probably did not realize any of this, Hi, I'm God, because getting applause for your comments is no doubt a foreign concept for you.
07/03/09
07/03/09
Oh, and thank you!
07/03/09
Running around with a dozen sparklers sticking out of your anus may sound like a good idea but most people at the barbecue won't appreciate it, your boss will probably reconsider giving you that promotion, and even if you have a good health insurance plan through your work, it probably won't be covered.
Also, don't eat fireworks. Especially lit ones. No one wants to see how long you can hold a lit M-80 between your teeth and the "let's swap a quarter-stick of dynamite for Uncle Al's cigar" is really kind of hackneyed.
Leave the fireworks to the professionals. Besides, with all the loud bangs, it's the perfect time to catch up on those murders you've been letting slide.
07/03/09
Seems kinda obvious to me.
07/03/09
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07/02/09
07/02/09
those black cats are the worst - 2 seconds, tops.