"With this performance I'm trying to get at the reflexivity of live video — the taut line between the space and the image that results. It's possible to think of almost anything that mediates as a filter of some kind... sort of a "the-map-is-not-the-territory" territory"
Oh, I get it now, it's "art." That's explains why the video demonstrates nothing, and why there is no practical, scientific or culinary value to this. But he did say something about Harvard on his website, so it must be important.
I love bacon, but all these bacon-wannabes are false idols. In the words of a great wise sage, "there's only one thing that tastes like bacon and that's BACON." #mmmvelopes
Adam, I could have used this post yesterday, before I mailed off my entry into the poetry-about-food contest today. What a delicious treat that would have been for the recipient!
I do agree that it's a double-edged sword. If I'm gonna taste bacon, there'd better be some heart-stopping meat to accompany it. #mmmvelopes
@Gordonium: Please, for the love of God, tell me you actually did enter into a poetry-about-food contest. If so, I would like to read this no doubt bacon-themed ode.
If you did not, I demand a bacon-themed poem as restitution. #mmmvelopes
@OCEntertainment: Hells yeah, I entered! Unfortunately, it was not an ode to bacon. But that won't stop me from giving you at least a bacon-themed haiku.
Glorious bacon,
you belong in a golden
refrigerator. #mmmvelopes
You know this is sort of intriguing, but how much faith can I put into the Department of Flavored Mail? We're not even certain if the Bureau of Flavored Wallpapers is on the level. Do the snozberries really taste like snozberries?#mmmvelopes
@The Lab: But knobs are so much like buttons! There's no way Jobs would approve. This has to be a sleek new Windows 7 product trying to sneak its way into Apple market-share. #producttank
@32ndnote: If it where Windows 7 it wouldn't be white but have psychedelic images painted all over it. Come to think of it that wouldn't be that bad at all. #producttank
You must understand the perverse thought process of the common office fridge thief. If you lock up some things, they will assume everything not under lock and key is fair game. You're only giving them further justification for their thievery. It's best to simply poison the food and watch them drop.
This could create other problems as well. Some people never clean their old food out of the office fridge. They'll go on vacation, forgetting their liverwurst and Gouda sandwich. It will gradually develop a fine green patina, and impart it's flavor on everything else stored in the fridge. Then you have to explain why their new fridge locker is in the bottom of a dumpster somewhere because they didn't leave a key.
The locker is an innovative idea that addresses a common problem. But I prefer the old fashioned approach of a good slap in the face when someone does something stupid, inconsiderate, or immoral. Steal from me, I'll slap you in the face. If I stole from you, I'd expect nothing less to happen to me. It keeps us all honest. #fridgelocker
@beercheck: i did that to a co worker. i spiked some salsa in the fridge with 4 dried ground up habanero peppers. to quote her reaction "This salsa is hot as the dickens!" HR caught word and all i got was a "warning". #fridgelocker
@beercheck: I eat habañero peppers like candy, but I've seen those not used to them drop to the ground in tears, so your advice seems solid for me. Having built up a tolerance, I could enjoy a meal that would inflict pain on others.
For those who want to take this a step farther, here's some ideas:
The Sneak Attack
Dry (by roasting) and grind 10 habañeros into a powder. Mix with 1 tsp Jamaican Curry, 1 tsp Gram Marsala, and ¼ Cup Brown sugar. Add ¼ Cup of Vinegar. Cook down to a thick sauce. It's excellent on grilled chicken or Salmon. But you won't know it's hot until half way through your meal. The mixture of the curry and sugar traps the capsaicin (the molecules that give the pepper it heat). It takes anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes for the glaze that encapsulates the capsaicin to break down and release the heat. It dulls the heat a bit, but that is more than compensated for by the increased amount you (or in this case your victim) will consume.
The Punishment
Mixing the pepper attack with the traditional visine attack. For those who don't already know, visine (an eye drop) works by dilating blood vessels in your eye. Ingested, it dilates other things too, eventually working its way through your body and down to the colon. Leakage ensues. Mixed with a goodly amount of habañeros... Fire in the Hole!
If habañeros seem tame to you, another pepper known as "bhot jolokia" hold the world record for hottest pepper known to man. It's the white pulp on the inner wall of the pepper that contains the heat. For the strongest dose, freeze them, run under warm water to remove the skins. Cut in half and remove the seeds. Dry slowly and grind. Freeze the resultant powder. Place the cold powder in a coffee filter. Pour ice-cold Vodka over the powder and collect the liquid that drips through. Let it dry. The white or yellow resin in the bottom is pure capsaicin. You'll need about 50 peppers to get a single gram of capsaicin, but it's so potent you need special licensing in many places to have it. Make your own pepper spray, prank your room mates with a few drops in their bottle of sex lube... use your imagination.
I take no responsibility for the stupid and potentially harmful results of people taking my advice. The above if for academic purposes only and should not be attempted by anyone ever. #fridgelocker
@vlatro: I reckon Guatemalan Insanity Peppers would kick your silly bhot jolokia clear to Shelbyville.....if they weren't so damned tough to obtain. #fridgelocker
A friend of mine had a great solution for people stealing his food out of the fridge at work.
One day he bought a thing of dog biscuits and put icing all over them. Dropped them all in a pastry box and left a name tag on it (not his).
He dropped it off in the kitchen, they looked just like little cookies, and they must have tasted decent, because sure enough, the box was empty by lunch.
He came back from lunch and left the dog biscuit box on the counter... it didn't take long for people to put two and two together... he claims his food has been much safer since. #fridgelocker
@lostarchitect: good one :) perhaps I am not an american and don't live in a culture where I feel it necessary to lock my food. I find the demand for this product disturbing #fridgelocker
this would be handy in defending my tasty snacks from my kids, although for how long..... they are crafty little devils. I tried the live badger but found he also has a fondness for my stashed goodness
@katiethemagnificent:
I give him about 2 hours. When I was 8, I learned how to access every part of the house, locked or otherwise, using a butterknife and a chopstick. Even managed to find the key to the cable box for those "special" channels. #fridgelocker
This will only spark faster adaptation for freeloading roommates and scrounging coworkers. Years from now there will be a race of human being with thin proboscis mouths, suited best for eating between the bars of cages. #fridgelocker
11/18/09
11/18/09
11/18/09
Oh, I get it now, it's "art." That's explains why the video demonstrates nothing, and why there is no practical, scientific or culinary value to this. But he did say something about Harvard on his website, so it must be important.
11/18/09
BAM: #RosaRocks #steakfilter
11/17/09
11/16/09
I do agree that it's a double-edged sword. If I'm gonna taste bacon, there'd better be some heart-stopping meat to accompany it. #mmmvelopes
11/16/09
If you did not, I demand a bacon-themed poem as restitution. #mmmvelopes
11/17/09
Glorious bacon,
you belong in a golden
refrigerator. #mmmvelopes
11/16/09
11/10/09
11/11/09
11/10/09
11/10/09
11/10/09
11/10/09
11/10/09
This could create other problems as well. Some people never clean their old food out of the office fridge. They'll go on vacation, forgetting their liverwurst and Gouda sandwich. It will gradually develop a fine green patina, and impart it's flavor on everything else stored in the fridge. Then you have to explain why their new fridge locker is in the bottom of a dumpster somewhere because they didn't leave a key.
The locker is an innovative idea that addresses a common problem. But I prefer the old fashioned approach of a good slap in the face when someone does something stupid, inconsiderate, or immoral. Steal from me, I'll slap you in the face. If I stole from you, I'd expect nothing less to happen to me. It keeps us all honest. #fridgelocker
11/09/09
Thievery can lead to teachable moments. #fridgelocker
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/10/09
For those who want to take this a step farther, here's some ideas:
The Sneak Attack
Dry (by roasting) and grind 10 habañeros into a powder. Mix with 1 tsp Jamaican Curry, 1 tsp Gram Marsala, and ¼ Cup Brown sugar. Add ¼ Cup of Vinegar. Cook down to a thick sauce. It's excellent on grilled chicken or Salmon. But you won't know it's hot until half way through your meal. The mixture of the curry and sugar traps the capsaicin (the molecules that give the pepper it heat). It takes anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes for the glaze that encapsulates the capsaicin to break down and release the heat. It dulls the heat a bit, but that is more than compensated for by the increased amount you (or in this case your victim) will consume.
The Punishment
Mixing the pepper attack with the traditional visine attack. For those who don't already know, visine (an eye drop) works by dilating blood vessels in your eye. Ingested, it dilates other things too, eventually working its way through your body and down to the colon. Leakage ensues. Mixed with a goodly amount of habañeros... Fire in the Hole!
If habañeros seem tame to you, another pepper known as "bhot jolokia" hold the world record for hottest pepper known to man. It's the white pulp on the inner wall of the pepper that contains the heat. For the strongest dose, freeze them, run under warm water to remove the skins. Cut in half and remove the seeds. Dry slowly and grind. Freeze the resultant powder. Place the cold powder in a coffee filter. Pour ice-cold Vodka over the powder and collect the liquid that drips through. Let it dry. The white or yellow resin in the bottom is pure capsaicin. You'll need about 50 peppers to get a single gram of capsaicin, but it's so potent you need special licensing in many places to have it. Make your own pepper spray, prank your room mates with a few drops in their bottle of sex lube... use your imagination.
I take no responsibility for the stupid and potentially harmful results of people taking my advice. The above if for academic purposes only and should not be attempted by anyone ever. #fridgelocker
11/10/09
11/10/09
Links:
Do "insanity peppers" really exist?
[answers.google.com]
Naga Jolokia pepper (aka bhot jolokia)
[en.wikipedia.org] #fridgelocker
11/09/09
11/09/09
One day he bought a thing of dog biscuits and put icing all over them. Dropped them all in a pastry box and left a name tag on it (not his).
He dropped it off in the kitchen, they looked just like little cookies, and they must have tasted decent, because sure enough, the box was empty by lunch.
He came back from lunch and left the dog biscuit box on the counter... it didn't take long for people to put two and two together... he claims his food has been much safer since. #fridgelocker
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
If an area has a common fridge, someone will steal out of it. It's only a matter of time. #fridgelocker
11/09/09
11/09/09
I give him about 2 hours. When I was 8, I learned how to access every part of the house, locked or otherwise, using a butterknife and a chopstick. Even managed to find the key to the cable box for those "special" channels. #fridgelocker
11/09/09