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This could create other problems as well. Some people never clean their old food out of the office fridge. They'll go on vacation, forgetting their liverwurst and Gouda sandwich. It will gradually develop a fine green patina, and impart it's flavor on everything else stored in the fridge. Then you have to explain why their new fridge locker is in the bottom of a dumpster somewhere because they didn't leave a key.
The locker is an innovative idea that addresses a common problem. But I prefer the old fashioned approach of a good slap in the face when someone does something stupid, inconsiderate, or immoral. Steal from me, I'll slap you in the face. If I stole from you, I'd expect nothing less to happen to me. It keeps us all honest. #fridgelocker
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Thievery can lead to teachable moments. #fridgelocker
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For those who want to take this a step farther, here's some ideas:
The Sneak Attack
Dry (by roasting) and grind 10 habañeros into a powder. Mix with 1 tsp Jamaican Curry, 1 tsp Gram Marsala, and ¼ Cup Brown sugar. Add ¼ Cup of Vinegar. Cook down to a thick sauce. It's excellent on grilled chicken or Salmon. But you won't know it's hot until half way through your meal. The mixture of the curry and sugar traps the capsaicin (the molecules that give the pepper it heat). It takes anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes for the glaze that encapsulates the capsaicin to break down and release the heat. It dulls the heat a bit, but that is more than compensated for by the increased amount you (or in this case your victim) will consume.
The Punishment
Mixing the pepper attack with the traditional visine attack. For those who don't already know, visine (an eye drop) works by dilating blood vessels in your eye. Ingested, it dilates other things too, eventually working its way through your body and down to the colon. Leakage ensues. Mixed with a goodly amount of habañeros... Fire in the Hole!
If habañeros seem tame to you, another pepper known as "bhot jolokia" hold the world record for hottest pepper known to man. It's the white pulp on the inner wall of the pepper that contains the heat. For the strongest dose, freeze them, run under warm water to remove the skins. Cut in half and remove the seeds. Dry slowly and grind. Freeze the resultant powder. Place the cold powder in a coffee filter. Pour ice-cold Vodka over the powder and collect the liquid that drips through. Let it dry. The white or yellow resin in the bottom is pure capsaicin. You'll need about 50 peppers to get a single gram of capsaicin, but it's so potent you need special licensing in many places to have it. Make your own pepper spray, prank your room mates with a few drops in their bottle of sex lube... use your imagination.
I take no responsibility for the stupid and potentially harmful results of people taking my advice. The above if for academic purposes only and should not be attempted by anyone ever. #fridgelocker
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Links:
Do "insanity peppers" really exist?
[answers.google.com]
Naga Jolokia pepper (aka bhot jolokia)
[en.wikipedia.org] #fridgelocker
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If an area has a common fridge, someone will steal out of it. It's only a matter of time. #fridgelocker
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You can find wild badgers in the woods. Come on, guys... #fridgelocker
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@dallasmay: Wild animals won't touch the kind of food I eat. (Read: Hot Pockets.) #fridgelocker
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Impressive, but not good enough. Nothing lights up a room like the Kevin Bacon Lamp. It's scientifically proven to be six degrees brighter.
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You are wandering around a forest one night, when you come across a man silently staring at you, illuminated only by his bacon lamp. What do you do? #baconlamp
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@PurpleMonkeyDishwasher: : #baconlamp
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