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New York, 9:11 PM
Fri Nov 20
65 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #food more →

    USB Heated Burger Massager Cures Its Own Induced Stomach Ache

    Judge How Cooked Your Steak Is Based on Video Transmission

    Bacon-Flavored Envelopes: Your Bills Will Now Make You Poor and Fat

    Product Tank Is Like a Booby Trap For Your Toast

    Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers

    Bacon Lamp

    The Folding Titanium Spork Is the Ultimate Portable Eating Utensil

    Shooting Challenge: Fast Food

    Stuff We Didn't Post Today (and Why)

    Shrimp Eye Tech Could Improve Gadgets

  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    11/18/09

    In reply to USB Heated Burger Massager Cures Its Own Induced Stomach Ache
    And the pentagram painted onto the bun is for good luck.
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    11/18/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: Tonight we dine in Hell!
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of weatherman weatherman
    11/18/09

    In reply to Judge How Cooked Your Steak Is Based on Video Transmission
    "With this performance I'm trying to get at the reflexivity of live video — the taut line between the space and the image that results. It's possible to think of almost anything that mediates as a filter of some kind... sort of a "the-map-is-not-the-territory" territory"

    Oh, I get it now, it's "art." That's explains why the video demonstrates nothing, and why there is no practical, scientific or culinary value to this. But he did say something about Harvard on his website, so it must be important.
     Reply
    weatherman was starred weatherman was unstarred
    Image of Gordonium Gordonium
    11/18/09

    In reply to Judge How Cooked Your Steak Is Based on Video Transmission
    Hot nerd chicks AND delicious steaks? Rosa, you're quite the temptress tonight!

    BAM: #RosaRocks #steakfilter
     Reply
    Gordonium was starred Gordonium was unstarred
    Image of Crashproof Crashproof
    11/17/09

    In reply to Bacon-Flavored Envelopes: Your Bills Will Now Make You Poor and Fat
    I love bacon, but all these bacon-wannabes are false idols. In the words of a great wise sage, "there's only one thing that tastes like bacon and that's BACON." #mmmvelopes
     Reply
    Crashproof was starred Crashproof was unstarred
    Image of Gordonium Gordonium
    11/16/09

    In reply to Bacon-Flavored Envelopes: Your Bills Will Now Make You Poor and Fat
    Adam, I could have used this post yesterday, before I mailed off my entry into the poetry-about-food contest today. What a delicious treat that would have been for the recipient!

    I do agree that it's a double-edged sword. If I'm gonna taste bacon, there'd better be some heart-stopping meat to accompany it. #mmmvelopes
     Reply
    Gordonium was starred Gordonium was unstarred
    Image of OCEntertainment OCEntertainment
    11/16/09

    @Gordonium: Please, for the love of God, tell me you actually did enter into a poetry-about-food contest. If so, I would like to read this no doubt bacon-themed ode.

    If you did not, I demand a bacon-themed poem as restitution. #mmmvelopes
     Reply
    OCEntertainment was starred OCEntertainment was unstarred
    Image of Gordonium Gordonium
    11/17/09

    @OCEntertainment: Hells yeah, I entered! Unfortunately, it was not an ode to bacon. But that won't stop me from giving you at least a bacon-themed haiku.

    Glorious bacon,
    you belong in a golden
    refrigerator. #mmmvelopes
     Reply
    Gordonium was starred Gordonium was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    11/16/09

    In reply to Bacon-Flavored Envelopes: Your Bills Will Now Make You Poor and Fat
    You know this is sort of intriguing, but how much faith can I put into the Department of Flavored Mail? We're not even certain if the Bureau of Flavored Wallpapers is on the level. Do the snozberries really taste like snozberries? #mmmvelopes
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of Bokusatsu_Tenshi Bokusatsu_Tenshi
    11/10/09

    In reply to Product Tank Is Like a Booby Trap For Your Toast
    On cold days, you can have steamy underwear too! #producttank
     Reply
    Bokusatsu_Tenshi was starred Bokusatsu_Tenshi was unstarred
    Image of Xeno Xeno
    11/11/09

    @Bokusatsu_Tenshi: I just stick my business into a microwave for the same effect. #producttank
     Reply
    Xeno was starred Xeno was unstarred
    Image of Hello Mister Walrus Hello Mister Walrus
    11/10/09

    In reply to Product Tank Is Like a Booby Trap For Your Toast
    Isn't this basically an upright George Foreman grill? #producttank
     Reply
    Hello Mister Walrus was starred Hello Mister Walrus was unstarred
    Image of The Lab The Lab
    11/10/09

    @Hello Mister Walrus: But this is white, boxy and has retro knobs! This is the Apple HiFi of toasters. #producttank
     Reply
    The Lab was starred The Lab was unstarred
    Image of 32ndnote 32ndnote
    11/10/09

    @The Lab: But knobs are so much like buttons! There's no way Jobs would approve. This has to be a sleek new Windows 7 product trying to sneak its way into Apple market-share. #producttank
     Reply
    32ndnote was starred 32ndnote was unstarred
    Image of quayzar quayzar
    11/10/09

    @32ndnote: If it where Windows 7 it wouldn't be white but have psychedelic images painted all over it. Come to think of it that wouldn't be that bad at all. #producttank
     Reply
    quayzar was starred quayzar was unstarred
    Image of vlatro vlatro
    11/10/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    You must understand the perverse thought process of the common office fridge thief. If you lock up some things, they will assume everything not under lock and key is fair game. You're only giving them further justification for their thievery. It's best to simply poison the food and watch them drop.

    This could create other problems as well. Some people never clean their old food out of the office fridge. They'll go on vacation, forgetting their liverwurst and Gouda sandwich. It will gradually develop a fine green patina, and impart it's flavor on everything else stored in the fridge. Then you have to explain why their new fridge locker is in the bottom of a dumpster somewhere because they didn't leave a key.

    The locker is an innovative idea that addresses a common problem. But I prefer the old fashioned approach of a good slap in the face when someone does something stupid, inconsiderate, or immoral. Steal from me, I'll slap you in the face. If I stole from you, I'd expect nothing less to happen to me. It keeps us all honest. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    vlatro was starred vlatro was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    11/09/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    All you need to do is judiciously lace one leftover item with habañero. Henceforth, your food is SAFE.

    Thievery can lead to teachable moments. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of yungjerry703 yungjerry703
    11/09/09

    @beercheck: i did that to a co worker. i spiked some salsa in the fridge with 4 dried ground up habanero peppers. to quote her reaction "This salsa is hot as the dickens!" HR caught word and all i got was a "warning". #fridgelocker
     Reply
    beercheck promoted this comment yungjerry703 was starred yungjerry703 was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    11/09/09

    @yungjerry703: Hey, sometimes you gotta kick it up a notch. Bam! #fridgelocker
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of vlatro vlatro
    11/10/09

    @beercheck: I eat habañero peppers like candy, but I've seen those not used to them drop to the ground in tears, so your advice seems solid for me. Having built up a tolerance, I could enjoy a meal that would inflict pain on others.

    For those who want to take this a step farther, here's some ideas:

    The Sneak Attack
    Dry (by roasting) and grind 10 habañeros into a powder. Mix with 1 tsp Jamaican Curry, 1 tsp Gram Marsala, and ¼ Cup Brown sugar. Add ¼ Cup of Vinegar. Cook down to a thick sauce. It's excellent on grilled chicken or Salmon. But you won't know it's hot until half way through your meal. The mixture of the curry and sugar traps the capsaicin (the molecules that give the pepper it heat). It takes anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes for the glaze that encapsulates the capsaicin to break down and release the heat. It dulls the heat a bit, but that is more than compensated for by the increased amount you (or in this case your victim) will consume.

    The Punishment
    Mixing the pepper attack with the traditional visine attack. For those who don't already know, visine (an eye drop) works by dilating blood vessels in your eye. Ingested, it dilates other things too, eventually working its way through your body and down to the colon. Leakage ensues. Mixed with a goodly amount of habañeros... Fire in the Hole!

    If habañeros seem tame to you, another pepper known as "bhot jolokia" hold the world record for hottest pepper known to man. It's the white pulp on the inner wall of the pepper that contains the heat. For the strongest dose, freeze them, run under warm water to remove the skins. Cut in half and remove the seeds. Dry slowly and grind. Freeze the resultant powder. Place the cold powder in a coffee filter. Pour ice-cold Vodka over the powder and collect the liquid that drips through. Let it dry. The white or yellow resin in the bottom is pure capsaicin. You'll need about 50 peppers to get a single gram of capsaicin, but it's so potent you need special licensing in many places to have it. Make your own pepper spray, prank your room mates with a few drops in their bottle of sex lube... use your imagination.

    I take no responsibility for the stupid and potentially harmful results of people taking my advice. The above if for academic purposes only and should not be attempted by anyone ever. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    vlatro was starred vlatro was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    11/10/09

    @vlatro: I reckon Guatemalan Insanity Peppers would kick your silly bhot jolokia clear to Shelbyville.....if they weren't so damned tough to obtain. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of vlatro vlatro
    11/10/09

    @beercheck:

    Links:
    Do "insanity peppers" really exist?
    [answers.google.com]

    Naga Jolokia pepper (aka bhot jolokia)
    [en.wikipedia.org] #fridgelocker
     Reply
    vlatro was starred vlatro was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    11/09/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    We had a problem with a coworker years ago. That's why I got a mini-fridge for my office. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of DoogieFullHouser DoogieFullHouser
    11/09/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    A friend of mine had a great solution for people stealing his food out of the fridge at work.

    One day he bought a thing of dog biscuits and put icing all over them. Dropped them all in a pastry box and left a name tag on it (not his).

    He dropped it off in the kitchen, they looked just like little cookies, and they must have tasted decent, because sure enough, the box was empty by lunch.

    He came back from lunch and left the dog biscuit box on the counter... it didn't take long for people to put two and two together... he claims his food has been much safer since. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    Xagest promoted this comment DoogieFullHouser was starred DoogieFullHouser was unstarred
    Image of okmar okmar
    11/09/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    I would just leave the entire cage out next to the fridge for the food to get spoiled #fridgelocker
     Reply
    lostarchitect promoted this comment okmar was starred okmar was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    11/09/09

    @okmar: and this is why you have no friends. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of okmar okmar
    11/09/09

    @lostarchitect: good one :) perhaps I am not an american and don't live in a culture where I feel it necessary to lock my food. I find the demand for this product disturbing #fridgelocker
     Reply
    okmar was starred okmar was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    11/09/09

    @okmar: I've never experienced it either. Maybe it's for people working in a big, anonymous office. Or maybe it's a bit of a joke. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H. HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H.
    11/09/09

    @okmar: If you find the demand for this product disturbing, then you have never worked in an office or lived in a dorm.

    If an area has a common fridge, someone will steal out of it. It's only a matter of time. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H. was starred HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of katiethemagnificent katiethemagnificent
    11/09/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    this would be handy in defending my tasty snacks from my kids, although for how long..... they are crafty little devils. I tried the live badger but found he also has a fondness for my stashed goodness
     Reply
    Xagest approved this comment katiethemagnificent was starred katiethemagnificent was unstarred
    Image of Xagest Xagest
    11/09/09

    @katiethemagnificent:
    I give him about 2 hours. When I was 8, I learned how to access every part of the house, locked or otherwise, using a butterknife and a chopstick. Even managed to find the key to the cable box for those "special" channels. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    Xagest was starred Xagest was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    11/09/09

    In reply to Fridge Locker Secures Your Snacks From Crappy Roommates and Co-Workers
    This will only spark faster adaptation for freeloading roommates and scrounging coworkers. Years from now there will be a race of human being with thin proboscis mouths, suited best for eating between the bars of cages. #fridgelocker
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
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