Gamer Grub: Because 'Food' Takes Too Long to Chew

Mark Wilson — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:45:00 EDT

For when fruits, veggies, exercise, plenty of sleep and the occasional colonic won't do, Gamer Grub promises to be the first "performance snack formulated especially for gamers." In flavors like Action Pizza, Racing Wasabi, Strategy Chocolate and Sports PB&J, the snacks are not only fortified with vitamins and minerals, but are specially engineered to be crumb and grease free, protecting your keyboard from its normal all-it-can-eat junk food buffet. We're not sure precisely which brick of the USDA food pyramid that videogame genre-flavored morsels fall into, but we're willing to wave most (OK, some) judgment until we're able to test this stuff for ourselves.

Until then, here are our rejected headlines for this story:

Gamer Grub:
Because Playing Games Doesn't Repulse Women Enough
Because We've Always Wondered What Mario's Balls Tasted Like
Because Vomit Has Nutrients Too
Because You're Not Fat Enough Already
Because It's Obviously Good For You
Because Your Blender Is Broken
Because the Rotting Scrapings of the Cheetos Factory Gotta Go Somewhere
Because the FDA Takes Bribes
Because the Chinese Aren't the Only Ones Trying To Poison Us [GamerGrub via bbGadgets]

Thanksgiving Turkey, the Ultimate Frozen Meal

Mark Wilson — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 08:54:40 EST

We're mega geeks, so if we had our choice, we'd only eat freeze-dried "astronaut" foods that come in tiny, metallic packs. We'd rest easy knowing how simply we could get up and go when the aliens finally came, taking us to their planet where we are revered as gods for our unshowered musk and supple stomachs. But we draw the line somewhere, and that "where" is a frozen, turkey-in-a-bag product like the Jennie-O Freezer-to-Oven Turkey. But forgiving our snobbery for a moment, how does it taste, really?

From the fine testers at YumSugar:

Fast forward several hours and I was cutting into a succulent and juicy turkey. The skin was a little on the salty side, but the flavor was classic and not overpowering....I also found that gravy made from the drippings was too salty with a hint of artificial flavor to it. You also can't make any stuffing in it, and it does not come with the giblets/innards pack like most turkeys...know quite a few people who don't love cooking and just want to have a nice bird on Thanksgiving. If you're one of those folks, then I would recommend you give it a try.

Verdict? Not so bad. But given that turkeys are one of the easiest classic foods to prepare (even the good ones are fairly mediocre) ditch the frozen, artificial stuff.

For those who've never tried brining, it's super simple. All that means is you essentially marinate the turkey. And you'll add so much moisture to the meat that it's extremely difficult to screw up from there.

But if Jennie-O ever releases a true freeze-dried turkey, maybe we'll reassess the plan. [yumsugar via bbgadgets]

Gizmodo: foodtech

Gamer Grub: Because 'Food' Takes Too Long to Chew

Thanksgiving Turkey, the Ultimate Frozen Meal