He doesn't hit every note, sure, but he hits most of them, including the majority of those intense guitar solos. By the end he has a 77% rating and the hearts of geeky middle school gals the world over are his for the taking.

Money shot proof comes at the end, alongside a fade to black groan at about 6:15 that immediately destroys whatever geek cred this kid just spent six minutes of his life trying to create. [YouTube via Geekologie]

In this video you will learn of our President's enthusiasm for comic books, see a photo of him imitating a statue of Superman, and watch him flash the Vulcan sign.

Indeed, John Hodgman. It is an exciting time to be a nerd. [Collegehumor, Thanks Julian!]

It's a photo of a banner that he, Steve Jobs and Allan Baum were going to unfurl off a roof during graduation or something. If you look closely, you can see the word SwabJob on the bottom, which was mashed up out of the initials SW, AB and "Jobs". They got caught before the prank went down, and I think, later it was revealed that Jobs was bragging about the prank to someone, which lead to them getting caught.

Anyhow, the site is fun. If you've got geeky childhood photos of you, please send em over to [dorkyearbook.com.]

After long weeks of dancing his heart out, propped up on his busted up legs by only his resolve, courage and legions of SMS-voting geeks, Steve "ThunderToes" Wozniac is booted from Dancing With the Stars.

For some, he was hard to watch dancing. OK, maybe for most. But not to me.

To me he was a giant (but rapidly decreasing in weight, mind you) bundle of circuit board, segway riding, love bouncing around with the enthusiasm of a child on two barely-functioning legs. The man who could out design professional mainframe builders in his early teens found dancing impossible, but here he was trying, bucking what fate handed him (genius, riches) for what nearly everyone else took for granted (having fewer than two left feet). Woz is a deep geek—ours—with the accompanying social awkwardness. And he lost, and lost perhaps more badly than any contestant in the history of the show. But I don't think anyone else faced such overwhelming odds. And who can resist cheering for the underdog?

Lets see if we can get Woz on Survivor or American Gladiators. [Newsday]

*Sorry for spoiling the ending, ladies and dudes. I figured it was not so much a "spoiler" as a "save-you-from-having-to-watch-bad-TV-ler".

Matthew Smith caught Woz doing some press for Dancing With the Stars. He writes:

I showed him my Dell Mini 9 with OS X Leopard installed on it (and an Apple sticker sloppily applied over the Dell logo.

He said, "Oh my god, that is so COOL!"

And: "Is that really the color you wanted?"

Then he graciously signed it. I then ran away and giggled for about 45 minutes.

Well done sir. [Flickr via BBG]

Can anyone explain to me how you program a Tesla Coil to do this? [YouTube]

Taking the test is simple. There are 50 statements. Mark down one point for yourself for every one that applies to you. At the end, score yourself. We can't solve your problems, but at least we can help you figure out just how bad your problems are. And that's something, right?

The GSAT
1. I own and wear t-shirts featuring the logos of computer/operating system manufacturers.
2. I am over the age of 22 and live with my parents.
3. I am, according to the medical definition, obese.
4. On an average day more of my human interaction happens on message boards or in blog comments than with actual other people.
5. I have ended real friendships over arguments about computer or product choices.
6. I very seriously and passionately try to talk people into buying or switching to my OS/phone/product of choice.
7. I commonly use very specific technical jargon without considering whether or not the person I'm talking to understands it.
8. I hold an engineering or IT degree.
9. I have made a member of the opposite sex sit and watch me play video games for an hour or more.
10. I play with my phone at restaurants.
11. Almost all of my jokes are actually just catchphrases or references to The Simpsons, Family Guy, Borat, or any other popular comedic film or show.
12. I have a medical problem that makes me sweat a lot.
13. I live or have lived for an extended period completely nocturnally, sitting at my computer all night and sleeping all day.
14. I generally do not leave my home if it's not necessary for work or food retrieval.
15. I have over 50,000 Xbox 360 Gamerpoints.
16. I work in electronics retail.
17. I generally am only friends with other Apple people/Windows people.
18. My sense of humor is more in line with 4chan than any other comedic source.
19. I hang out exclusively with members of the same sex.
20. I own and wear a cowboy hat, Kangol hat, fedora and/or bowler.
21. I am the dominant talker in most conversations I have.
22. I think the Star Wars trilogy/Star Trek series is the greatest thing ever put to celluloid and will argue all night about it.
23. When I hang out with my friends, we usually play Risk, Axis and Allies, Dungeons and Dragons and/or Settlers of Catan.
24. I have a level 80 character in World of Warcraft.
25. I've dressed up as a video game character/manga character in public on a day other than Halloween.
26. I say internet acronyms such as LOL and BRB out loud.
27. I own a sword, nunchucks and/or throwing stars.
28. I'm an obsessive collector.
29. I make my own image macros.
30. I am really, really into my cat. Like, really.
31. I have corrected someone's spelling or grammar on a message board or in blog comments.
32. I have authored and obsessively updated Wikipedia entries about cartoons from the 80's.
33. I breathe through my mouth, mostly.
34. I've read all of the greatest novels ever published, all of which happen to be graphic novels.
35. I suffer from halitosis and/or a laziness-based aversion to dental hygiene.
36. I vote for politicians based on their stance on net neutrality.
37. My dream girl has eyes the size of dinner plates, is part robot or, optimally, both.
38. I am a very active member of a private, invite-only BitTorrent tracker with extremely strict ratio/bitrate requirements.
39. I regularly ingest caffeine through unconventional means.
40. I'm convinced that I would be happier if I worked on the Starship Enterprise.
41. I do things for the "lulz."
42. I always have the last word in online arguments. Always.
43. I wear sweatpants more than any other type of pants.
44. I am a guy and I have a ponytail.
45. I believe that it's the rest of the world that's awkward and I actually have everything pretty much figured out.
46. I have a hard drive exclusively dedicated to porn.
47. I write letters to companies and consumer interest blogs whenever I feel that I've been wronged.
48. I'm married in Second Life but single in real life.
49. I read Gizmodo more than the New York Times.
50. I am offended by this test.

Now, for the scoring. Simply add up your points and click on where you fall below to get your diagnosis.
-0-10 Points
-11-20 Points
-21-30 Points
-31-40 Points
-41-49 Points
-50 Points

Always.

And these USB glasses celebrate the most famous of fashionable geek icons, the horned rim, by storing 2GB of data in their 2mm frame that doubles as a bookmark. (Sadly, they don't actually work as glasses.) Pick up your pair in March when the they'll be available for $29.

Just keep in mind that if you begin wearing things like short sleeve shirts with ties in any way above the perfect equilibrium of self-deprecating irony, you're in danger of going too nerd. And if you ever go too nerd, even for the briefest of moments, you can never go cool nerd again. It's the way it's always been and always shall be. [imm living via Engadget]

Gizmodo readers like you tend to think they know more about technology any other people—including (or especially) Giz editors. You're the person your friends and family come to with computer problems, what those in the know call a geek. But there are varying levels of geekdom. In order for you to prove where you stand, I've compiled a handy list of 50 key geek skills. Many of them are straightforward, some are tough as hell. Only the most dedicated shut-in basement dwellers will score a perfect 50. How do you stack up? Hit the jump to find out, and be sure to keep a tally as you read—there's a poll at the end to see how you measure up to your fellow Giz readers.

1. Install a hard drive in a laptop
2. Perform a clean OS install on a machine with two OSes
3. Swap out the battery on your iPod/iPhone
4. Jailbreak an iPhone
5. Wire your house for Ethernet and Coax cable
6. Use BitTorrent and RSS to automatically download new shows from trackers
7. Use an A/V receiver to its fullest capability (every port is taken)
8. Calibrate an HDTV without the manual
9. Use a DSLR in full manual mode
10. Hack the encryption and mooch your neighbor's Wi-Fi
11. Solder cleanly enough to get around a circuit board
12. Use your 3G phone as a Wi-Fi access point
13. Shove the guts of a modern game console into a retro game console
14. Design a webpage in HTML by hand that features a picture of your cat
15. Use Photoshop to imperceptibly doctor a photo
16. Abstain from buying extended warranties
17. Know where to buy cheap cables and accessories
18. Fix your parents' computer over the phone without looking at a computer
19. Enter the Konami code
20. Comment on Gizmodo from your phone
21. Type quickly using T9 texting
22. Program a universal remote
23. Contribute code to the Linux kernel
24. Hide porn from your significant other
25. Avoid DRM on everything
26. Know how to back up your data to networked storage—and actually do it
27. Watch TV shows on the internet for free
28. Edit together digital video ripped from YouTube
29. Play any SNES game on your computer through an emulator
30. Reset expired trial software by messing with the registry
31. Hackintosh your PC
32. Download pre-release movies from Usenet
33. Hack the Wii to play homebrew games
34. Get around web content filters on public computers
35. Get into a Windows computer if you forgot your password
36. Securely erase your data so it can't be recovered
37. Share a printer between a Mac and a PC on a network
38. Build a fighting robot
39. Write your own Firefox plugins
40. Navigate and reorganize the files on your computer in DOS
41. Get something on the front page of Digg
42. Get through to executive customer service
43. Rip a CD to V0 quality MP3s
44. Rip a DVD to DivX
45. Build your own computer from parts
46. Swap out the hard drive in your DVR for a bigger one
47. Get an NES cartridge working again by blowing in it
48. Calibrate a 7.1 surround-sound system
49. Play downloaded games on a Nintendo DS
50. Talk about things that aren't tech related

The process basically involved converting a photograph into a grayscale image and thence to a depth-map g-code image, compatible with Lumenlab's open-source CNC mill. One suitably flatish and carefully positioned pumpkin, 20 minutes of drilling action later, a little air-spraying to push out the milled pumpkin pulp and voila: geek-o-lanterns.

Much more likely to put the wind up visiting kids than naff old triangular eyes. [Lumenlab via Hackaday]

Yes, we've got repping of yet another networking standard, one for the Windows keyboard-shortcut devotees, and of course, the social-powered, traffic firehose cycle. Hit Pingdom for many, many more. [Pingdom - Thanks, Peter!]

There aren't a lot of bargains, as you might expect. Top-shelf merchandise like this is expected to fetch big collector prices. But the catalog is almost too good to be true—check out 34 highlights in the gallery below, and a few extra special favorites here:

Forget any exercise you could possible think of—it won't come close to the strength of using Bruce Lee's own actual forearm strengthener. Possibly some Dragon sweat still on it.

No, It doesn't hover but I couldn't give less of a damn. If I can't have the shoes, I want this. Too bad it's expected to fetch $30-$50k.

I love scotch. But I'm pretty certain I would love it even more if I was drinking it out of this ultra-dystopian Blade Runner tumbler. Plus this one's one of the few sub-$1,000 items.

Just one of the countless things the originals have on Lucas's new films, the costumes in the original Star Wars were incredible. Especially the Imperial dudes—stylish in only the way a space fascist can be.

More highlights from this incredible trove, including C3PO's feet, Ahnold's sawed-off from T2, the rabbit mask from Donnie Darko and more:

[Profiles in History Auction House via Tech Digest]