We asked for nightmare tales of the Apple Genius Bar—from both sides of the bar. One Apple Store employee submitted a customer encounter that makes us despair about mankind.
We want to hear from both sides of the bar.
For five straight years, I spent an inordinate amount of time staring at the screen of an iPhone. I'm not alone in that, but I am usually quick to buy new models and even quicker to download new operating system updates. Perhaps I'm a little too quick, because earlier this year, my enthusiasm got the best of me.
What, if anything, would you stand in line for all night? Front row tickets to your favorite band? A cameo on your favorite show? A spot for your child in that better school?
An Apple employee is never supposed to point when giving directions in their store. For example, when asked where the iPhone cases are sold, a specialist should either gesture with an open hand or, preferably, walk the customer to the proper location.
The Apple Store is a hectic place in China, so hectic that if you try to go in for a repair without an appointment, you can expect to wait all day. No big deal. This is what the black market for Genius Bar appointments is for.
There must be an enormous amount of iPhone-related idiocy showing up at the Genius Bar because now before Apple will allow you to make a reservation, the company prompts you to kindly reset your phone.
Which, people, why have you not been doing this already?
If you bring your broken black iPhone 4 to the Apple Store, you might get a fresh iPhone 4S as your replacement phone. What?! Yep, because of supply constraints, many Apple Stores don't have any black iPhone 4 units (16GB/32GB) in stock so they have been instructed by Apple to give customers an iPhone 4S instead.
What happens when you're in China and your MacBook Air knockoff breaks down? You bring it to the Genius Bar of an Apple Store, of course. And what'll they do? They'll fix it out of the kindness of their hearts.
If your plastic unibody Macbook is having peeling rubber butt issues, you aren't alone. Apple's now actually fixing the problem for free—either through the Genius bar or a DIY kit. They'll even refund any money you've spent before.
What follows is a very intense trip to the Genius Bar.
My notebook is toast. It's basically being completely rebuilt. I dropped it off at the Genius Bar a week ago. I wanna know where it's at, so I called Apple to find out. I didn't get very far.
According to MacRumors, Apple is looking to make some minor changes to their Genius Bar. The focus will be on an active queue management, employee multitasking, and performing more overnight repairs. Basically, non-Genius Bar staff will now help walk-in Genius Bar customers, Genius folks will now juggle multiple…
Click to viewWhere to go when you need a regularly scheduled "chat about Mac" experience? The Apple Friend Bar, of course! The venerable Onion News Network uncovers the key details in this investigative video report.
The owner of this bedazzled iPhone is Stockton, CA resident Maria Avila. When she got her handset back from an iOS4 upgrade at her local Apple Store, she found it chock full of a complete stranger's personal data. Curious!
Basically all of Apple's support servers will be offline this weekend, so "customer support will be limited to basic troubleshooting," according to an internal memo. So avoid all forms of Apple tech support, from Apple Stores to Authorized Service Providers.
This is the life of an Apple Genius: Computers caked in toxic waste, screaming customers, dead cats, raging homophobes, and oh yeah—getting punched in the face.
Here's a Genius Bar horror story for you: Justin Barry, an apparently disgruntled seventeen year old, walked into a Staten Island Apple Store and typed this message on one of the display machines. He's now facing seven years in prison.
Look, we know there are just as many cockbag customers as there are dickhead customer service reps. So, Geniuses, tell us about your most ridiculously asinine customers ever, and we'll give you free pizza. (Don't worry, we'll keep it anonymous.)
The Genius Bar horror stories are in. And they are horrible. Geniuses obliterating iMacs, covered in roaches, even stealing customers' girlfriends. The evil Genius Bar is real, and it's in your local mall. Update: We've added another truly shitty experience.