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Steve Jobs Returns to Apple Campus, Sources Say
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Kaiser-Machead
05/28/09

In reply to Steve Jobs Returns to Apple Campus, Sources Say
Jesus, jokes on you if it just turns out to be that bush-leaping bum from San Francisco.
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Will Bildsten
05/28/09

OMG YOU DIDN'T COMMENT FIRST ON THIS ARTICLE@Kaiser-Machead:
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@Will Bildsten: *has no friends*
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Kaiser-Machead
05/28/09

@Will Bildsten: And yet I lived to tell about it. Whodathunkit?
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OMG! Ponies!
05/28/09

In reply to Steve Jobs Returns to Apple Campus, Sources Say
Overheard at the Apple Campus Bookstore:

Hey! You look like the poster boy for birth control. C'mon Schiller, it's a party.

What's your story? What's the matter? Cancer? Forget about it. It's history. Come on, will ya? Snap into it! Hey Woz, check out my new speech:

Hi there. Are you a skinny person? Pleasantly petite? A little on the angular side, perhaps?

Well, let's face it: Are you anorexic? When you go jogging, do you slip through the storm grates? When you make love, does your partner get punctured? When you spike your hair, do you look like a rake? Do you avoid drinking water because your concerned about calories?

Well, now, you can starve all you want, because at Steve Job's "Rich & Skinny" stores, we've got you covered. That's right. Fine skinny laptops, and skinny phones and skinny salespeople, in all the slimmer sizes - skinny, gaunt, wan, and the new Auschwitz line.

And for you ladies we have a matching set of gags, and plugs; nothing in and nothing out. Yes, we have miles and miles of computers in only two dimensions.

So take it from me, Steve Jobs, the Sultan of Slim, if you don't want to look anorexic, you hang out with the cool skinny people.
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Cordfucious of Tech Clan
05/28/09

@OMG! Ponies!: dude you are in rare form.

Its nice to have you commenting like this
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
05/28/09

@OMG! Ponies!: +10,000
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LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M
05/28/09

@OMG! Ponies!:

You make us all look like we are making comments from kindergarten!
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Bigbadbikernerd
05/28/09

In reply to Steve Jobs Returns to Apple Campus, Sources Say
And the Fanboys dance...
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Will Bildsten
05/28/09

and you're pissed because jobs does a **** lot better than ballmer at management, therefore you're Windows fanboyism cannot be satisfied. therefore you upset your dad who works for dell.@Bigbadbikernerd:
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@Will Bildsten: You're apparently in need of a calibration of your sarcasm meter.
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OMG! Bacon!
05/28/09

In reply to Steve Jobs Returns to Apple Campus, Sources Say
Woot. Hopefully this is true. I am not a mac fanboi, but the Jobs is a cool guy. I hope he gets/is well.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@phoenix27: Actually, the Jobs is an arrogant asshole. He's just good at product hype and guidance.
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Sunburn_summer
05/28/09

@Captain Chaos Lite: Oh yeah... I remember you guys used to play Basket Ball together on tuesdays at the local Y. He'd play dirty and... wait a second... you probably don't know him that well. Not to say he isn't a total D-bag... but somehow from the number of personal encounters you've had with him I doubt your assessment of him being asshole is a valid one.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@Sonburn: You should read the number of accounts of him verbally destroying employees when they fall out of favor with him, or maybe his history with management @ Apple. He isn't a touchy feely nice guy. He wants what he wants, when he wants. This is the guy who drives around w/ no license plates on his car.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@Captain Chaos Lite: But that doesn't mean I wish him any ill. I'm glad he's back (theoretically) and that he's still involved w/ Apple's product development cycle.
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Hello Mister Walrus
05/28/09

@Sonburn: Steve Jobs has a reputation of being an asshole. If you Google "Steve Jobs douche", you will get tons of websites dedicated to this perception. Of course, this is not a factual indication of his douchebaggery or lack thereof.
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kernel panic
05/28/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: personally, i think his wikipedia bio is proof enough of douchebaggery. woz vs jobs, jobs wins evil steve title.
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Hello Mister Walrus
05/28/09

@kurupt: In all likelihood, he is a douche bag. Otherwise, it is unlikely that so many people would accuse him of being so. As a counter example, no one ever accuses Bill Gates of being a douche bag, and there must be a reason that so many more people accuse Jobs of being a douche bag than Gates.

But yes, this is not conclusive proof. It is just the conclusion that is most likely to be true. It's like the theory of evolution. No one says that the theory of evolution is the truth. It is just the most likely explanation, based on all our collective knowledge.
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soulfinger
05/28/09

@Captain Chaos Lite:

So driving around with no license plate makes one a douche? Maybe if you knew anything you'd know he has permission to do that because people keep stealing them.
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Walter VanRooyen
05/28/09

@Captain Chaos Lite: Howz about you just leave here and now?
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Sir Gibler
05/28/09

@Captain Chaos Lite: "He wants what he wants, when he wants." so he's a perfectionist in a company set on making a simple OS and products made with high-end materials not found in most electronics? is there something wrong with having deadlines and high standards?
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Sunburn_summer
05/28/09

@Captain Chaos Lite: @Hello Mister Walrus:

Hey guys, I'm not saying you're wrong. In my previous comment I made the statement that he may be a D-Bag. I'm defending the guy. Just saying, unless you know the guy in daily close encounters and are a part of his close circle I don't think we can really make that assumption.

And googling whether a guy is a douche or not doesn't really confirm anything other than maybe he had a bad day or tripped over the cat that morning on the way to work. Being a douche is a pretty human ability some have it as a permanent condition, the rest of us have lapses of it. I'm just not convince without having a personal relationship with the guy which category he fits into.

Now Ballmer, what a jerk-wad when we played golf last sunday he kept picking up my ball and throwing it at my caddy... ok I don't know him either.
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Sunburn_summer
05/28/09

@Sonburn: first line should have read NOT defending the guy;0)
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@Walter VanRooyen: Howz about you stop acting like an internet tough guy.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@Sir Gibler: Again, see his reputation for emotionally destroying employees at Apple in the past.

I didn't say I wished anything bad to happen to him, just that he's not a god. He's an asshole.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
05/28/09

@soulfinger: Along with regularly parking in handicap spots? (Long before his illness btw.)
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Hello Mister Walrus
05/28/09

@Sonburn: I didn't assume he is a douche bag. In fact, I didn't even say that he is a douche bag. I just said that it is a reasonable conclusion based on widely available evidence. It is a logical evaluation, not a moral judgment.
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