The Swerve is billed as the world's first "full body groomtool," but we know better. By the looks of things in the terrifying video above, getting into the truly hard to reach areas in the middle of the back is not going to be an easy task (unless you are a contortionist). Besides, these disposable razors are waaay to expensive at $5 for a single and $13 for a 3-pack. [Swerve via Shaving Stuff and Boing Boing Gadgets]

Dare I say it, but his moving portrayal of a son dealing with his father's pube-trimming prejudices nearly brought this reviewer to tears. Not only that, his performance as a small hairy French man nicknamed "Little Monkey Boy" was truly heartwarming. If web-based advertising campaigns for male grooming devices were eligible for Oscars, my vote would already be cast. Hit the link to see the videos for yourself. And if you have a tale to tell, you can submit your own manologue. Who knows, your work could become Callen's next masterpiece. [Philips and Bodygroom]

Having trouble scoring a date? Do the villagers keep knocking on your door with lit torches and pitchforks in hand? Not to worry, there are plenty of gadgets out there that can help get you cleaned up, toned up and *ahem* beefed up for the ladies. But remember, it's not just about looks or how successful you are—women will see right past that to your inner beauty—your sparkling personality. Hahaha! Seriously though...these 10 gadgets can work wonders.

Grooming:

Mangroomer: Alright guys, let's start with the basics. You are never going to find a woman that finds it erotic to run her hands through your back hair. None of this "take me as I am" bs...shave it off with a Mangroomer electric shaver. You are making everyone sick there, Chewbacca. [Amazon via Link]

Goatee Saver: Moving around to the front, we have a contraption designed to keep your goatee neat and clean for the ladies. Just bite down on the clip inside to hold it in place and adjust the frame to the desired width using the gears. Don't expect miracles, though. Not everyone can work a goatee as well as Mark Wilson and I. [GoateeSaver via Link]

Just Kitting Kit: Traveling downtown we have a grooming kit specially designed to not only manage your excessive pubic hair growth, but turn it into a work of art. Each kit comes with a set of stencils that allow you to shape your pubes into patterns like a heart and a star. Unfortunately, there are no balloons, moons, rainbows, horseshoes, hats or pots of gold. [Makeup]

Sunshower Deluxe: If I have to tell you that taking a shower once in awhile is essential for attracting the ladies, there may not be any hope for you. Nonetheless, I will forge ahead with Sentavi's Sunshower Deluxe. It not only gets you clean, it also leaves you with a golden brown tan. [Sentavi via Link]

Exercise:

Treadmill Desk: You're fat—there is no getting around it. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and exercise. Fortunately a number of options exist that are aimed squarely at nerds. This treadmill desk with its five-display setup definitely falls into that category. [Link]

Springflex UB: The treadmill handled your cardio routine, now the Springflex will handle your strength training. As you can see, you never have to leave your precious computer when you do a workout. All you have to do is clamp the Springflex arms to your desk and get crackin' on those puny biceps. [Skymall]

Garmin Forerunner 405: If you can't afford a personal trainer, the Garmin Forerunner 405 may be the next best thing. Users can record data regarding speed, distance, heart rate and location (using built-in GPS) as well as info about courses, goals and specific workouts. It even wirelessly syncs to your computer when you enter the room. [Link]

Abdominal Etching: All the exercise and dieting in the world may not get you that six-pack that you have always wanted. That's where medical science comes to the rescue. In addition to standard liposuction, abdominal etching involves sculpting grooves in the fat layers to emphasize muscle. [Link]

Deception:

Wonderjock: If basic grooming, exercise and plastic surgery are not enough, you could go the extra mile and try to throw women off. For example: the Wonderjock is quite literally a Wonderbra for men. It separates and lifts, pushing your manhood forward—which gives the appearance of enhanced size. Rumor has it that Ewan McGregor bought a ton of them. [Aussiebum]

Ugly Bags: Okay guys, it's the end of the line. If all else fails just put on an ugly bag, turn down the lights and find a woman with poor eyesight. [MyStore]

The Pulsonic has a flexing/pivoting head designed to reach those hard-to-get areas. I wish the head would've flexed a bit more, 'cause I had to make multiple passes around my chin to get a close shave. But I found out that the more I used it, the easier that got.

The Pulsonic's motor delivers over 10,000 vibrations per minute, which the folks at Braun claim will expose and shave more hair. The first time I used it—it left a few patches here and there. Not to mention my neck was tomato red. (To be fair, this was the first time I had used an electric razor in years).

The second time I used the Pulsonic, I still had to make multiple passes, but my face wasn't as red afterwards and by the third time, shaving was noticeably smoother and quicker. Shaving around and below my chin is the only problem area. But if I'm in a rush or traveling, that shouldn't be a hassle.

The razor comes with a Clean & Renew System. Dunk the razor in and the unit will do the cleaning for you. The cleaning solution will cost you around $10 for a two-pack. Each pack lasts about 6-8 weeks. The downside is that at one point or another, you're gonna have to clean the cleaning system. So there's really no way around it.

I'm still a wet-shave kinda guy. The Pulsonic comes damn close, but there's just no comparison. Where the Pulsonic wins is convenience. In less than five minutes I can get a nice, close shave and not have to worry about cuts. That alone would make me drop $200. – Louis Ramirez with video by Richard Blakeley

Braun

First of all, there are two versions of the comb. There's a compact version ($395) and a premium version ($545), the difference between the two is in the number of lasers (the premium has 9 whereas the compact has 5). The comb isn't battery-operated, but instead needs to be plugged in while brushing your hairless head. They recommend you brush for 10-15 minutes a day. As for the lasers, well, without being a laser expert, I can tell you they're like the ones you'd find on a pointing device. Stay tuned as we put our scalp on the line all in the name of science. – Louis Ramirez

Product Page

LaserComb For Your Chrome Dome [Medgadget]

If tweezers freak you out, Philips has got you covered. They're working on a device called the Razor Light, an update to laser hair removal that's designed to keep that pesky unibrow from coming back. Apparently weak, short pulses of near-infrared light can shove active hair follicles into a dormant "telogen phase." You look sexier already. –Adam Frucci

Razor Light [New Scientist]

The problem, you see, is the working-himself-to-death salaryman and his delicate morning fragrance of bitter coffee, cheap aftershave, Seven Star cigarettes and —of course— the stench of last night's sake marathon. What to do about this national scourge? There's a service that can help. See how that's done, after the jump.

The plague of kuse oyaji (stinky old men) is apparently so bad now, a company called Menza has opened a "Grooming Quick Support Service" to offer on-street personal advice in downtown Tokyo. After using Menza's cell phone website to find the nearest support station, worried road warriors can have everything from armpits to halitosis checked by pros for just ¥200 (US$1.70). Once through their ritual humiliation, customers get high-fived back into that sweaty old rat race. Bleh. – Jonny Hiratsuka

New grooming service offers pedigree pit stop for stinky salarymen [WaiWai]

Perhaps if we had the LA-Tweeze, the tweezers with an LED light built in, we would pare down our eye-moustaches. Maybe its slick, stainless steel body with built in mirror, or ribbed (for her pleasure) slip-proof grip would make grooming fun. We doubt it.

LA-Tweez - Flashlight Tweezers [The Gadget Store via Shiny Shiny]

Those of you who did a spit-take when Gillette announced their five blade Fusion razor last year because you remembered The Onion predicting it would happen from the year before, you should appreciate that someone at The Economist not only wondered whether or not there was a Moore's Law for razor blades but actually worked on the graph you see to the right. If the (admittedly few) five data points we have hold, we should be shaving ourselves with fourteen blades by the 2100.

We'd be impressed except that by 2100 we expect hair removal to be taken care of automagically by nanobots as we shower. Who wants blades when you can have teeny tiny robots?

Shaving technology: The cutting edge [The Economist]

Product Page [Via Boingboing]