This cake is Angry Birds taken too far. It's like, what compels someone to want to make a photo-realistic interpretation of bird-on-pig violence anyway? And in cake form??
You're not allowed to see the CIA's postmortem photos of Osama bin Laden. But that doesn't mean they can't be described to you! Sen. James Inhofe got a chance to see the pictures today, because he is a fancy boy, and the Oklahoma Republican was very excited to tell everyone about it. In, uh, detail. They're "gruesome"!
Realistically, you won't get eaten by a black bear. But if you do, it's likely to be young, male, and single.