So why exactly did CERN spend billions and billions of dollars building the Large Hadron Collider when Ikea sells a perfectly good alternative, the Hädrönn Cjölidder, for considerably less cash? Sure, its Compact Muon Solenoid is made from ugly particle board, but think of the money you'll save by building it yourself.
Today we learn that you can get a frigid girl to not only put out, but to do it on film by playing the Large Hadron Collider card. (Baby! No one will see that video since the world is ending!)