Gizmodo: hadron

Convincing Your Girlfriend to Put Out on Film Because of the LHC Doomsday Is a Bad Idea

Rosa Golijan — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:00:00 EDT

Today we learn that you can get a frigid girl to not only put out, but to do it on film by playing the Large Hadron Collider card. (Baby! No one will see that video since the world is ending!)

A bunch of students at a Brisbane high school filmed a dirty porno in a high school bathroom the last time news of the Large Hadron Collider was hot. Yeah, that video was literally dirty. Remember high school bathrooms?

Basically the guy convinced his sweet, innocent, and oh-so-stupid girlfriend that it was her last chance to lose her virginity as his buddy played hidden camera man, producer, and distributor. The camera phone recorded, underage sex act made its way through the community and could potentially result in child pornography production charges, although news.com.au claims it unlikely due to the age of all the participants.

No word on whether the sweet talker managed to hang on to the girl by convincing her that a miracle spared the world until November. [news.com.au]

The Hills Girls Analyze the Large Hadron Collider

Erica Ho — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:00:00 EDT

I don't watch The Hills, but that doesn't mean I'm not entertained when I see Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt prancing around and pretending they aren't posing for the cameras: in this clip, Audrina attempts to get scientific with the Big Bang theory and the Large Hadron Collider. Her friend explains that the Large Hadron Collider is used for colliding subatomic particles together—but maybe it can be used to see if there are any particles in that organ that lies between Audrina's ears. [GeekSugar]

LHC Offline Until Spring of 2009

Sean Fallon — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:00:00 EDT

It looks as thought the magnet situation that shut down the LHC last week is going to take even more time to correct than previously feared. In order to fully investigate the problem, researchers have decided to hold off a restart until sometime in the spring of 2009. Robert Aymar, director-general of CERN called the situation "a psychological blow," but getting this beast is in good working order must be the top priority. Apparently, the fire department rushed to the scene after a little over a ton of liquid helium leaked into LHCs super-long tunnel, causing around 100 of the magnets to overheat. Take your time guys—we don't need any more drama with a device that could bring down the world. [BBC]

Large Hadron Collider Has Black Hole Button

Jack Loftus — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:20:00 EDT

Though the Large Hadron Collider didn't kill us when those crazy CERN scientists closed their eyes, said a prayer, recited a few theorems and switched it on for the first time, the secret is that it could have killed us. When they built the collider, the scientists installed a black-hole creation button. (The button is real, but it doesn't actually do anything.)

No black holes, no tearing of space-time fabric, no instant worm hole to the Gamma Quadrant. "There is a wry sense of humor that pervades the [LHC] scientists," said Steve Nahn, one of the MIT researchers on duty at the LHC. In addition to the sign that warns users of a black hole creation, there's another equally predictable sign on the side of the balcony overlooking the detector that reads "Please do not feed the Physicists."

Can you imagine using a 14-mile ring to monitor particles that look like pucks to a hockey rink of an atom? And doing it while death threats from ignorant loonies the world over come pouring in? "There's a fair amount of stress at times trying to make the detector go, so defusing it with humor is one way to maintain sanity," Nahn said.

~~Note: We tried to get an actual image of the black hole button and the sign, but the LHC's no photography policy got in our way, hence the artist's rendering above.~~

Picture found! Thanks, Steve Nahn! [Flickr]

Monitor Large Hadron Collider's Magnet Temperatures With Real Time Status Website

John Mahoney — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:30:51 EDT

Yeah, yeah, the Large Hadron Collider is in no real danger of accidentally opening up a black hole that swallows the world when it's finally fired up on August 7. We know. But still, we sometimes like to pretend it is, and this is where Cern's LHC cooldown status website comes in. Using it you can track the current temperatures of its 1600+ superconducting magnets in real time. But what should you be looking for?

To do their particle-colliding business, the LHC's magnets must be kept ultra-cool—close to absolute zero in fact, which is a frosty -459.67 degrees F. And by the looks of it, many of the magnets are near operating temperature already. To keep them that cold, liquid helium is used, which is only liquid at extremely low temperatures. The highest temperature scale on the status website only goes up to 100K (-279.67 degrees F), so we're not really watching for "meltdowns" in the strictest sense of the word. But if the temperatures start rising to near the top of the scale, you know something is afoot. No doomsday scenarious, but still, feel free to shout out SECTOR 7 ARC MAGNET TEMPERATURES RISING! [LHC Cooldown Status via Bad Astronomy]