I hope you are right about CERN's Large Hadron Collider exploding and destroying the whole frikkin' universe in a big fiery ball of antimatter, neutrons and Higgs bosons.

That way we won't have to try and decipher your spam any more.

Yours Sincerely,
j.

P.S. Check out MIT Center for Theoretical Physics' admin answer to this guy after the jump. Apparently he doesn't only spam via email, but calls and harasses people everywhere and leaves messages on answering machines.
P.P.S. Stop sending mail, you psycho.
P.P.P.S. Can someone at Google shut down this spammer's Gmail account at once? Thanks.

On Fri, May 9, 2008 at 12:42 PM, Scott Morley <****************@mit.edu> wrote: Dear Sir,

I am the Administrator for the Center for Theoretical Physics at MIT. You have been repeatedly sending emails to the CTP regarding the LHC in Geneva. You have left dozens of messages on the answering machine of Professor Frank Wilczek and on the machines of various other professors. You have also called and attempted to speak with other professors—ones not involved in any way, shape or form with the LHC.

You have additionally phoned a member of my staff repeatedly and then chose to send a large mailing list of individuals an email where you directly insulted this person.

I am writing you to ask you to please cease your contacts with all members of this Center.

Thank you.

Scott Morley

Most physicists believe that there must be a Higgs field that pervades all space; the Higgs particle would be the carrier of the field and would interact with other particles, sort of the way a Jedi knight in Star Wars is the carrier of the "force." The Higgs is a crucial part of the standard model of particle physics—but no one's ever found it.

In theory, when physicists turn on the tons of machinery inside the Akira-like LHC 17-mile-long ring in 2008, they will be able to produce the Higgs boson. Observing it could confirm many physicist predictions and "missing links" in the Standard Model, which is a physics theory that aims to describe how elementary particles interact with each other. It's either that or destroy the planet. We can go either way (actually, although it was a joke, CERN just wrote back saying that they don't want to destroy the planet. Thankfully, Jeff Vader doesn't work there.)

The existence of the Higgs particle, also called the God Particle, has only been predicted so far. It was first proposed by University of Edinburgh physicist Peter Higgs in 1965, after coming from a walk on the mountains. If confirmed by the LHC, it could bring scientists closer to the Grand Unified Theory, "which seeks to unify three of the four fundamental forces."

The Force can also explain why the fourth, gravity, is weak compared to the other three: electromagnetism, strong force, and weak force. I guess the strong force is the good one and the weak force is really the Dark Side. I don't know. I'm lost now, so I'm just going to list other of the cool stuff that the LHC will produce: strangelets, micro black holes, magnetic monopoles and supersymmetric particles.

Now, the only question left after they discover the real Force that bind us all is: do they have a canteen at the LHC? And if so, is it run by Jeff Vader or Mr. Stevens? [CERN, Wikipedia, National Geographic via The Force.net — all photos copyright CERN and Flickr]

Yes, again. Because I can't have enough of that clip.