I can never tell when I might have the Sultan of Brunei over for a polo match or when I may be hosting a convocation of the various captains of industry. There is nothing more gauche than escorting the King of Sweden into the Game Room (where all of the trophies I have hunted over the years are preserved and on display) only to find it dark. I would be practically CRUCIFIED in the society pages.

Moreover, while I understand that the less-fortunate have been prattling on about conservation (the concern of dwindling resources is not a concern that I share), were I to actually do that, I'm sure that I could hire someone to serve as my butler. From what I've heard, the lower echelons of the gentry are finding themselves in dire straits. Perhaps I'll hire a lord with little more than a title to his name to cleanse my behind after I finish my morning ablutions.

And so there is no quarrel, I am not even typing this. I engaged the finest primatologists from Oxford, Cambridge, and even (gasp)_Yale to train a team of bonobos to type comments for me when they are not busy manually masturbating one another.

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No offense giz, but I've seen far cheaper homes than this with much more interesting technology installed.

Such as motion sensors that activate floor floor lighting as you pass through. Not only does it save energy costs, but it also is smart enough to dim the lights at night so that you don't wake people and can still see where you're going.

And the alarm system would text you to welcome you to the home after inputting your code. It would also give you a breakdown of where people had been in the house, if the alarms had been triggered, etc. As well as notify you that your alarm has gone off, and that the police were dispatched.

Multiple wireless APs in the house, all flush mounted in the ceilings, powered via POE to reduce cabling needs. Audio/video intelligently switched throughout the house from sources via multiple touch screen remotes.

Oh, and there was a stripper pole in the master bedroom.

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The thermostate is downstairs, away from the bedroom, so I can always lower it before I go to bed. If she had that damn remote, she would just change it back between the time it took me to set it and to get upstairs to bed.

Great product, but epic fail for my household.

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