Hotline is an adult novelty, aka repackaged children's toy that didn't sell well and/or offended the public. Here's how the magic happens:

Hotline ["calls"] direct to your favourite 1900 number!!! Press to listen to one of the lovely ladies. Speak to Sunshine, Bambi and they will get you hot! 2 x AA Battery Included

While I'm sure that Sunshine and Bambi are quite charming, nothing kills the mood set by low bitrate dirty talk like knowing you've gotta hunt down some AAs. Am I right? $19. [Aussie Gadgets via Nerd Approved]

That's right, simply lifting the receiver on this phone will call the number of the pizza joint you program into it. Delivery superheroes will slide down poles into their Pizza-cave, fire up their Pizza-mobile (otherwise known as an old Honda) and wisk the greasy goodness to your door in 30 minutes or less. That seems worth the $177 price tag doesn't it? Actually, no...no it doesn't. [RedHotPhones via Coolbuzz]

• The Danger Bomb Alarm Clock. This clock is sure to wake you up for the event, because it makes an exploding noise until you figure out how to turn it off. Sure, we could've gone with the Orgasmo, which makes the sound of a female orgasm, but that would probably just put us back in dream land. Besides, the Danger Bomb will serve as a good reminder of your own impending sensory explosion.

Now for the guys, here are some suggestions to get you going:

• A sex doll. For all those do-it-yourselfers (haha! get it?) with time on your hands, build a companion to cuddle with tonight. Make sure to hide it when company is around.

• The Blowjob Machine. If you don't have time to build but still crave the feeling of a robot lover, go with this gadget out of Japan. This thing looks more "vacuum cleaner" than "erotic," so be careful.

• The Rubbot. More mechanical goodness, the Rubbot is the most discreet male sex toy of the bunch. Too bad it's still in beta, because judging by the job it did on that beer bottle you wouldn't have any problem making it to the finish line in time.

• 1-900-Nerd-Girl. So you just can't seem to get *there* without a little dirty talk? How about a little nerdy talk instead? Hearing these ladies talk Star Wars and D&D will have your lightsaber up in no time.

• Condom applicator. If you'll be sharing in the global orgasm with that special someone, you're going to want one of these. Over-population is a major factor in world unrest, so don't make the problem any worse.

Ladies, don't think we forgot about you! We at Giz have heard know that the female orgasm is not a myth, and we couldn't leave you out of the festivites, so for you we present:

• A Vibrator. We have so many to choose from, but we decided to go with Inch Perfect, because it's huge, it precise, and you need to get the job done quickly.

• The Call Me Panties. Stick your cellphone in the Call Me Panties front pocket, put it on vibrate and set your alarm. That way, you'll be on your way to saving the world without leaving your bed.

• Nintendo Wii. How will a Wii help you reach orgasm, you ask? Just ask this woman, she seems to have it down.

And finally, for everyone:

• Open Mouth Ashtray. Phew, after all that hard work, you're probably going to want a cigarette. Nothing says "I just participated in a Global Orgasm" quite like this ashtray.

That should be enough to get you started on your journey to heal the world. With less than 12 hours until the big moment, you better start making plans. I know what I'll be doing at 1:08 AM EST; Hell, I probably would have been doing it anyway. [Global Orgasm, World Clock for 6:08 GMT]

Now several news organizations are reporting on a "teen epidemic" of "Tech Stalking", a new twist to date abuse the includes cyber-stalking and the use of text-messaging and cellphone calling to dominate, humiliate and/or harass the young and impressionable, in most cases teen girls.

"Alarming numbers of teens in dating relationships are being controlled, abused and threatened using simple tech devices," according to Teenage Research Unlimited, which conducted the nationwide survey of 615 teens 13 to 18.

* 30 percent said they've been text messaged or e-mailed 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner wanting to check up on them.
* 18 percent said their partner used a social-networking site to harass them.
* 17 percent said their partner made them "afraid not to respond to a cellphone call, e-mail, IM or text message."
* 10 percent said they had been threatened in calls or messages.
* 58 percent of parents whose teens were physically assaulted by their partner did not know it had happened.

Disturbing statistics indeed—we here at Gizmodo love gadgets too much to see them embroiled in this type of seedy and abusive behavior. Please, think of the gadgets. And of course, the children.

Teens and their parents can visit the newly launched website for abusive teen dating in the technological age called LoveIsRespect or call the toll-free hotline at (866)331-9474 –Dana Bushman

'Tech' Stalking: Teen Epidemic [NY Post]
Teen Jerk's Obsession is 2 Die 4 [NY Post]