Gizmodo: Humor

iPhone Arm Frees Hand for Debauchery (or Douchery)

matt buchanan — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:00:00 EDT

The iPhone Arm keeps one hand free while using you're the iPhone, or any other mobile device, really. It's compatible with Jason's favorite iPhone web app, and complements it perfectly. It also supports Apple's recently announced iPhone 3G videoconferencing kit, which it should be launching soon after. [Break via digg]

Font Conference Shows Your Fonts as People, and They Are Ridiculous

Adam Frucci — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EDT

In a world where fonts are people, Times New Roman is king. But also, Wingdings is annoying and talks in gibberish, Arial Narrow is a racist, and Futura is a sexy lady from the future. How awesome is this?

[CollegeHumor]

BlackBerry Waving the White Flag and Loving It

matt buchanan — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:50:32 EDT

Jesus has already declared BlackBerry dead in the wake of iPhone 2.0. "Dead dead dead." Apparently, he's not the only one to think so. Joy of Tech does RIM the favor of waving the white flag for them. What do you think? Is it the push email or the keyboard that really matters? Here's some Mossberg Solution tips to juice a BlackBerry up if you're feeling left behind by the hype.

[All Things D]

Disney's Mickey Digital Camera Unintentionally Gives Toddlers a Goatse Facial

Jack Loftus — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:30:00 EDT

Careful what kind of digital camera you give your kids from the Disney Store these days, otherwise the spawn of your loins could end up putting a goatse right up against their chubby cherubic faces. Then, their virgin innocence robbed from them, they'll probably go around leaving this 8MB camera in the darker places of your house, hoping to catch a few nether region images of their own (of poor quality, btw, this is actually a pretty poor camera to begin with). You've been warned. — Thanks, Chris, we think? [The Disney Store]

Blockbuster's Box Is Hot Competition for Netflix

Mark Wilson — Wed, 21 May 2008 20:10:00 EDT

Can Blockbuster compete with the new Netflix Player? Their first attempt at a box of their own (seen here) looks like it might fall a little short when it comes to streaming movies and TV shows on demand. But it absolutely dominates the competition in the areas of fast food pizza delivery. Different strokes, I guess. [Silicon Alley Insider]

When Headlines Reveal What's on a Tech Writer's Mind

AddyDugdale — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:20:00 EDT

It is a truth universally acknowledged that girls are good at multi-tasking, but one has to wonder what Aving USA's Grace Won was thinking about when she wrote about DZone's SATA hard-disk-drive cradle. [Aving USA]

"Blockbuster" Living History Museum Offers Insight Into the Past

Jason Chen — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:30:00 EDT

I don't want to spoil anything here more than the headline already has, but the visually hilarious Onion News Network has a biting critique of the movie rental chain Blockbuster. We actually like Blockbuster because of our grandfathered unlimited in-store exchanges and two free game rentals a month, but this is still pretty funny. [The Onion]

John Mayer Pioneers the DoubleDouche (Two Bluetooth Headsets at Once)

Jason Chen — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Hi guys. John Mayer here. When I'm not busy submitting Apple Problem Reports and banging two supermodels at once, I write songs. I know, you probably haven't heard them lately except at Apple events, but don't you know how I get those gigs? That's right, I call people. I call people two at a time with a technique I pioneered called the DoubleDouche. I'm busy, people. Two phones, two ears, two headsets. Believe it.

Japan's Most Advanced Massage Chair

Jason Chen — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

This aired a few nights ago on Kinchan no Kasoh Taisho in Japan, a show apparently dedicated to the advancement of science, technology and the arts. We'd love to have one of these massage chairs in our own homes, because it looks super comfortable and not at all awkward. The only request we have? We want a female version. That'd be slightly softer and have more back support. [Japan Probe]

Eric's Huge iPhone is Large, Probably Doesn't Make Calls

Haroon Malik — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 09:15:00 EDT

The picture is all we have to go on, so what we can tell is this; it looks like an iPhone, but that probably isn't a real touchscreen. Sadly, we doubt it will be making any calls either. You know what they say; if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, chances are it is a duck. Well, in light of that information, we can rule out the possibility that it is a duck. I think we can slowly eliminate stuff it isn't in this fashion, eventually we'll get our answer. Alternatively, Eric, if you're reading, drop us a line and let us know what the hell's going on, buddy. [Flickr via Unplugged via winandmac]

Apple i Keynote Parody is Spot On

Haroon Malik — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 23:45:00 EDT

College Humor is running a parody of Steve in Keynote mode, we know it isn't the first or won't be the last, but it has some of the Steve's actions, crowd reactions and the overall atmosphere pretty much down to perfection. On top of all that, it does a good job at making us laugh—just look at the damn product description! The sketch even includes a commercial demonstration, and the whole clip is quality through and through. Hit the link for the video and then let us know if you'd be first in line to purchase the i. We definitely would—hey, it's chromy, glassy and shiny. [College Humor]

Darth Vader Given Arrest Warrant, Pleads Guilty to Assault

Jesus Diaz — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:00:00 EDT

After Darth Vader kicked a Jedi Master's ass with the Dark Side of the Crutch, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant against the Lord of the Sith. After dictating it, he added: "I hope the force will soon be with him" (really—God save the Judge, Queen, and English humor.) Vader arrived later, pleading guilty to assault. During the trial, however, the court found that the events weren't exactly as we were initially told: the Jedis were actually even more moronic than previously imagined.

To start with, dork n mero uno—hairdresser Barney Jones—wasn't being interviewed for a documentary on the first Jedi Church of England. He was filming himself, "fighting" with "lightsabers" in the garden, probably while being watched by Yoda, Mace Windu, Obi Wan, and the rest of their imaginary pals, who actually were the only ones with actual girlfriends in the backyard at the time.

Vader, whose real name is not Anakin Skywalker but Arwel Wynne Hughes, pleaded guilty, saying in his defense that he had a "chronic alcohol problem" and he didn't remember anything at all. According to the two Joneses, however, Hughes jumped in the gardent shouting "DARTH VADER," wielding a metal crutch, wearing a helmet, a black bin bag, a cape, and with a lot of wine in his stomach. Laughing—presumably hysterically, like anyone would do after consuming "the best part of a 10-litre box of wine"—he proceeded to bang Barney Jones on the head, before smacking the thigh of family nerd cousin, Michael Jones.

With almost a box of wine in his body, Vader didn't remember a single thing, but his defense attorney said alcohol was "ruining his life." On the other side, the prosecution added that the two cousins "believe very strongly in the church and their religion."

We can only hope the judge will set Vader free and put those two in jail. [BBC News]

NEVER GETS OLD. I say.

Boing Boing Gadgets' Super Blockquote

Jason Chen — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:09:00 EDT

Boing Boing Gadgets has deemed the standard HTML blockquote insufficient to reveal the expressive power of his business English. Hence, Super Blockquote, which arms you against the marketroid oppression of Thompson's prose.

[Boing Boing Gadgets]

Two-Panel Cartoon Accurately Displays Progress of TVs, Your Waistband

Adam Frucci — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:10:00 EDT

Well, this just about sums it up. Now, the real question: to laugh or cry? [Clubic]

Indian Firefox Bus Probably Doesn't Have Wi-Fi

Haroon Malik — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:30:00 EDT

In what appears to be the endless spread of Firefox, a new addition to the unofficial Firefox catalog has been spotted—in India. On the back of a bus. We're guessing the bus doesn't have on board Wi-Fi to make use of its web browser of choice, but we admire the support. Also, if that text in yellow above the artwork doesn't read "Safari and IE blow", well, then we'll eat our cats...I'm seriously mixing up my modern proverbs this weekend. Dammit. [Neatorama]

Steampunk Masturbation Device Invented by Internet Anal-Retentive Nerd Guru Merlin Mann

Jason Chen — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:30:00 EDT

If you thought Merlin Mann was only good at making up ways to file all your emails into one of 43 correct folders, think again. He's also good at comedy. And masturbating. And steampunk. What do you get when you combine the three? This pretty damn great video. If you're lost, watch it after the jump as Merlin explains his hobby in intricate detail. It's not NSFW, but we didn't want to piss off the lady that works at Martha Stewart who wrote to us one time. On the other hand, she's probably long gone.

Steampunk DIY from Merlin Mann on Vimeo.

[Coilhouse via Fleshbot]

Xbox 360: Will it Microwave?

Haroon Malik — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:15:00 EDT

It's Sunday, and it just wouldn't be right if a group of destructive loons were not prepared to put their faulty, plausibly repairable Xbox 360 into a microwave. Naturally, the mob breathed in the ensuing toxic fumes happily, all in the name of ~~science~~ comedy and cheap thrills. That kind of devotion we must salute, but for the tortured Xbox 360, our heart melts, much like its innards did. Oh, the humanity. Check out the video then hit the link for a slew of shots of the despicable carnage. [Microwave Science]

Craigslist Auction for Nintendo & Apple Merger Documents Has Us Reaching for Our Wallets

Haroon Malik — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 01:59:00 EDT

We know you can find an occasional bargain on Craigslist, but this takes the biscuit: documents actually detailing a merger between Apple and Nintendo. We knew Nintendo and Apple were up to something—has no one else noticed all the plastic white styled similarities? C'mon you guys, it's just makes sense! Now, we're off to put in our bid. Expect some seriously breaking news soon. [Kotaku]

If You Don't Get Your April Fool Out Of My Face I'm Gonna Turn You Into Chopped Liver

AddyDugdale — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Yo! I'M MR. T!!! What an awesome day it's been, guest editing the Giz. Some of you think it's Talk Like T Day. Well, I'll squash the punk—squash him like a bug—who suggests that April 1 was TLT Day. It's April Fool, FOOL!! And to all you naysayers who think that Gizmodo sucked today, you know that the only thing you can hear is your little pea brain rolling round your head. And when I finish with you, you won't even be able to hear that! By the time I do let you girl scouts go, you're gonna be big on PAIN! But first I'm gonna make you all suffer with the rest of the web's April Fools.

• Nasa's space station robot wants to be known as Dextre The Magnificent. Dextre The Fool!
• Find out if son—or daughter— of T is on its way yet with the ThinkGeek USB pregnancy test.
• Virtual peeing with new Wii game the Super Pii Pii Brothers. That's crazier than Murdock.
• Nintendo goes VoIP with the Wii VoIP handset rumor. VoIP? That's what my enemies say when I crush them into the dust!
• The IPCGA bans the HP Blackbird 002 from the International PC Gaming Tournament. Inside, it's deadly!
• Aaargh! My ears! Improv Everywhere's redesign. I wouldn't give that paintjob to a Ford Tempo!
• Gearlog's poop-brown iPod to support people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I can give jerks IBS with just one look.
• Google and Virgin want to colonize Mars?, Men don't come from Mars, you know, crazy people do. And crazy people go there!
• Google came up with a couple others: Custom Time, and predictive searches, allowing you to search the future for things that haven't happened yet. That's just stupid jibber-jabber!
• I used to eat LEGO bricks for breakfast and some crazy dude is telling me they contain addictive substances? I Don't Do Drugs!
• RIM is adapting its BlackBerrys to support Windows Mobile . Huh, I could do that with my welding torch.
• The mighty LP kicks the CD in the nuts, sales-wise. Did I say nuts? NUTS!
• Apple was due to reveal both its specs for OSXI, as well as the iPhone Enterprise Infrastructure Server, iPEnIS for short. Now that's what I call takin' Apple Fanboyism to crazy.
• Qualcomm revolutionizes talking with your hand. I already know how to communicate with my hand. Come here and I'll show your face.
• Microsoft makes a fake helmet. That looks like a choppa helmet! I ain't gettin' in no choppa, fool!

Girl Geeks on the Rise, Says Report

Jack Loftus — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 17:00:00 EDT

A new report from Solutions Research Group hints that the male-dominated era of technology and gadgets may be coming to an end. Some activities, such as using a DVR to record a TV show, or streaming movies or games, are more popular amongst women than men. Gents, has this happened to you? Take the poll, and see just how our favorite British girl geek handles tech stuff in the video after the jump.

Fave British girl geek after Addy, of course. [Solutions Research Group PDF, via I4U

Storm Blooper Reveals the True Dark Side Overlord

Haroon Malik — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:30:00 EDT

And so, the true ruler of the Dark Side was subtly revealed; Dr Robotnik, how we underestimated you. [Boing Boing]

iWash Does Not Clean Your iPhone at All

Haroon Malik — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 00:45:00 EDT

Blond, leopard print bikini, splashing water, iPhone, video—what else do you need to know? Take the NSFW jump for the naughtiest iPhone cleaning you have ever seen.

We've watched this many times now, and what we just cannot figure out is how Stevie—that's apparently her name—manaaged to get in the iPhone in the first place. Secondly, regardless of how she managed to get in there, how did she think she'd clean the screen with water alone? Further, where is her can of specialized iPhone screen cleaning soap stuff? On the grounds of these extremely pertinent questions, we have to dub iWash a no good scam—we're as shocked as you are. [Dailymotion via techburgh]

Wheelchair Dude Features in Apple Thesaurus; His Cover is Blown

Haroon Malik — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 20:30:00 EDT

What better way is there to spend your Sunday then looking up synonyms for the word "observed"? Apparently, none. As someone on planet Earth was doing exactly that when they discovered the following definition, as featured in Apple Thesaurus. Jump for a bigger pic of the priceless quote.

That picture is our own confirmation shot, but try it for yourself and see. Who is this Wheelchair Dude? Does Wheelchair Dude know he is featured in Apple Thesaurus? Where was this vestibule? Why does the narrator of the dictionary/thesaurus always leave out the important details? Is Wheelchair Dude protecting New York City when we are not looking? If you observe him, tell him his cover is blown, and he better have a damn good excuse for all that vigilante work he's been carrying out. [Cuberoot]

Visit the Apple Store, Get Laid

Haroon Malik — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:55:00 EST

Holy crap! Cosmopolitan Magazine—never mind why I was reading it—has just published an article saying the Apple Store is the hottest haunt to pick up dashing young chaps. That means hordes of the Cosmopolitan Magazine reading public are off to their local Apple Store to search for trendy geeks like you. It makes no sense to us either, but don't look a gift horse in the mouth, lad. This may well blow your mind, but here's the situation; you may get to talk to a hot girl. Shocking, we know. Checkout Cosmopolitan's reasoning about the Apple Store after the jump.

"The draw: Most guys are natural gadget lovers, and with sales of iPods and MacBooks skyrocketing, more men than ever are stopping by Apple boutiques. The vibe at the stores is conducive to man meeting too: You can check your email among cuties, take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise."

Now, put your OS loyalty aside and skip on down to your local Apple Store, take a few good jokes with you, and you might just get a chance to show off your real Penryn processor...you know what I'm saying. (N.B. Avoid jokes like that.) [Cosmopolitan via androidapps; image via insanely great tees]

Oral Sex Light Illuminates Your Dongle

Haroon Malik — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 23:30:00 EST

The product is called the Oral Sex Light. We're not too sure much of an explanation is needed, but if you still don't get it, there's a completely NSFW explanation image after the jump.

For all those who were gagging to see a giant illuminated phallus, I apologise; it was a very mean trick. Graphic image aside, the Oral Sex Light will set you back $13.99, and mounts (ha) via a clip-on ear piece. The torch attached is completely flexible, meaning you can totally scope out those hard to find regions. Unfortunately, if you ever did try to wow a date with your I-come-prepared attitude, she'll likely be out of the door quicker than she could say, "What the hell was I doing there in the first place?" At that point, you'll have to make use of the Oral Sex Light on your own, which will be an even sadder and more twisted state of affairs than normal. You suck. [Nerd Approved]

How Grandma Sees The Remote

Mark Wilson — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:30:15 EST

In this comic by Roz Chast really sums it up nicely, for grandmas, parents and, let's be honest, sometimes even ourselves during our darkest moments of troubleshooting.

It reminds me of a funny story that happened to my wife's grandma a few years back. Her television was hit by a power surge and began speaking Spanish (picking up some AM radio station probably)...even when unplugged. She later joked that the voices, temporarily muffled under a blanket, were laughing at her. We convinced her that she'd just hit the wrong button. OK, OK, we didn't. We're not that cruel. [bookofjoe]

V1 Rocket Car—Goodbye, Eric

Haroon Malik — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 18:20:00 EST

Here's what we know: 1) There is a car. 2) It has a freaking rocket attached to it. 3) If this is not the product of PS mastery, we would like to volunteer weekend intern Eric to test it out. Benny, as you probably all know, is still busy growing his hair back from last year's ~~self-imposed torture~~ back, sack and crack wax.. [Abnormal Photographs]

Gigantic Windows Mobile 'Phone' Leaves Us Scratching Our Heads

Jason Chen — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:30:53 EST

We can't really figure this thing out. It's supposed to be a joke "product" (we think) called the HTC Magnum. Either this man is holding a pretty gigantic tablet, or a widescreen monitor, or he's the most hormonally developed three-year-old we've ever seen. This thing, whatever it is, looks real in the sense that it doesn't seem to be Photoshopped, plus the images in the screens actually look pretty high resolution. That's is why we're so puzzled by it. What is this thing? Where can we get one? [Pocketpt via PortalPPC]

And now there's a video!

[Boy Genius

Forbidden Set Shows Darkest Side of LEGO

Jesus Diaz — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:35:24 EST

I thought I got all the coolest LEGO sets in history, but a reader pointed out what's probably the most shocking, darkest non-secret in its 50 years: a minifig wearing black tanga briefs. And when I say "briefs," I mean brief. All I can ask is why? Why Mr. Kirk? Why all this painful detail? And is that David Hasselhoff, per chance? [LEGO - Thanks Esteban]

A MacBook Air Parody that Goes One Better than Wafer-Thin

AddyDugdale — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:52:38 EST

Gadget Lab's Rob Beschizza has made himself a little piss-take of the MacBook Air. Curved corners—that's an Ives-esque attention to detail you've got there—and a killer punchline. This one goes out to all the secret Luddites who read the Giz. [YouTube via Wired]

Mock-Up Solves MBA's Port-Based Woes

Haroon Malik — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 09:45:00 EST

The Macbook Air sure is a fine piece of Cupertino craftsmanship, but the lack of useful input ports is a complete downer on the slinky sexy soiree. Fret not, Flickr user Nybras.Rodrigo has conjured up a fantastic solution. He's confident in his solution, and so are we. Check it out above. There are all the ports you'll ever need; USB 2.0, Firewire 400, Firewire 800, Ethernet, DVI output, Superdrive, iPod Shuffle and even a floppy drive. A floppy disk drive! How did we all miss that one? Kudos, Nybras, you're one up on everyone. [Flickr]

MacBook Air Eject Key's Rumored Alternative Actions

Jesus Diaz — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:00:51 EST

In case you haven't noticed yet, there's an eject button at the top right corner of the MacBook Air keyboard. There's no disc drive, but you push it, something pops out. Somewhere. Click. Schwing. Poop. Some people say this key ejects the optional SuperDrive, but after countless—or maybe just three—days of in-deep investigation in cocktail bars and going through the trashcans outside Jonathan Ive's house, we've compiled a list of potential actions:

• Ejects random F-15 Eagle National Guard pilot currently flying over the US.
• Activates road speed bump.
• Launches Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles while playing War Games with demented mainframes.
• Don't make war, make love and launch giant dildos instead. (NSFW)
• Fires up the farter-burner in jet-propelled toilet.
• Ejects Blu-ray and HD DVD players and turn TVs off at boring consumer electronics conventions.
• Launches space fighters in the middle of the desert. Then press again to see them self-destruct mid-flight.
• Kicks bad Imperial fake rock bands off the stage.
• Remotely makes Steve Jobs said "Boom!" at will during keynotes and events.
• Launches squirrels into oblivion.
• Activates self-destruction function in Manila envelope.
• Triggers portable secret RDF unit, making everyone 1.5 miles around you to fall in love and go to the store to buy one.
• Provokes fanboy orgasm. (NSFW)
• Provokes Slut Machine an orgasm. (NSFW)
• Provokes Slut Machine's fanboys an orgasm. (NSFW)
• Forces internal battery to self-destruct, eliminating the need to change it.

The SuperDrive eject thing? It's just a smoke screen I tell you, a smoke screen! So there you go, another rumor debunked. Got any other action? Post it in the comments. [Gizmodo Macbook Air coverage]

MacBook Air Drives All Those Fatty Laptops to Diet, Exercise, Oprah

matt buchanan — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 10:00:32 EST

Aw, PC, don't get that look on your face. You're not fat, you're just well-built. Just because the MacBook Air is incredibly thin and sexy doesn't mean I love you any less. I mean, you've got so much more personality! You've got things like a built-in Ethernet, optical drive, removeable battery AND user-upgradeable RAM and hard drive. That slinky little bitch doesn't have any of that. You don't have to put yourself through this. Come on, turn off the Oprah, let's make a nice sandwich. [via Cult of Mac]

Know-It-All Mr. Robot Clock Is Giz's Newest Commenter

Haroon Malik — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 20:00:00 EST

The whole team is working their collective butts off here at CES '08, and we do it all for you guys, but every now and then it would be nice to have someone tell us they really, really love us. We went in search of some affection, but unfortunately, we asked the wrong guy. [CES 2008]

Dr. Awkward Sings Backwards, Proves Rats Live On No Evil Star

Charlie White — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:07:33 EST

You'll get a kick out of this guy's backwards singing, and he actually has a pretty good voice. Halfway through, the video is reversed, and you'll discover what song he's actually crooning. See if you can guess what the song is before the halfway point. We didn't get it until he was nearly finished with his backwards section. Great job of picking out things that look crazy when played in reverse, too. Jeez, how long did it take for this guy to learn to sing that reverse gibberish? Not to mix a maxim here, but jeez, the devil never even lived until he learned how to do that. It was worth it. After watching that, all we can say is, "Did I strap red nude, red rump, also slap murdered underparts? I did!" [YouTube, via Boing Boing]
UPDATE: Kudos to the smartest commenters who caught our palindromes in the post and its title. See if you can spot all five!

Man Gets Naked, Girl Gets Arrested, Rest of the World Laughs

Haroon Malik — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:40:00 EST

A 17-year-old girl from New Zealand misled a man into stripping naked and walking into an unsuspecting individual's house, simply by sending a goofy SMS offering a threesome. The end result was arrests and hilarity all around.

The 31-year-old Kiwi was sent an SMS from the conniving girl, detailing he was to receive an early "Christmas present" from the sender and her friend. The seductress further suggested our man remove his clothes before entering the house, all in the name of saving time. It was a stupid move—Dr Pepper adverts should have been ringing through the Kiwi's head; unfortunately, he wasn't thinking with that head. He embraced the advice, and shot into a completely unsuspecting household. God only knows what, er, state he was in, but the homeowner was not amused. The police were called, and the man was arrested for unlawful behavior. The siren was later tracked down and charged with the misuse of a telephone; they both evaded prosecution, but were cautioned for the nuisance caused. There is a valuable lesson here for all of us: don't believe random offers of a threesome—your life is not a porno. Sorry. [Reuters; image via Inside]

Mugged Hipster iPod touch Commercial

Matt Buchanan — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 14:00:43 EST

I hope this turns into a real series of ads, if only for the schadenfreude value. It's pretty great: Annoying guy plays with iPod touch on subway, gets his gear jacked and laments all the "sweet features" he lost, like the calendar for scheduling photo shoots with bands and stuff. Now all he can do is wistfully stroke the box until he goes back to the Apple Store. [College Humor via TechEBlog]

Death Star Gets Pie Chart Treatment

Haroon Malik — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 10:30:00 EST

The guys over at Shirt.Woot have had some crazy designs submitted for possible T-shirts to adorn your puny little chest. We have to say that the design above has caught our attention, as we have always wondered what the distribution of deaths was aboard the Death Star. Granted, the pie chart in the shape of the Death Star may present statistics of questionable reliability, but it makes for one awesome shirt. If you like it, get voting so it gets put into production. Just imagine wearing it! Oh, sweet, sweet day. As we are getting overly mathematical on you, why not jump for the oldie but goodie Pac-Man-related pie chart?

That's your pie chart quota for the day, we promise we shall not make your brains implode by posting any more for 24 hours. [Shirt.Woot, Flickr]

Wedgie Proof Underwear Makes Us Recall the Bad Times

Haroon Malik — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 18:35:00 EDT

Two 8-year old geniuses have invented wedgie proof underwear—more than a decade too late for us. Simplicity is the key to all great design, as the inventors showed when they presented the Rip Away 1000 on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, which is the most unlikely platform for the display of the 8-year olds prodigious talents.

The Rip Away 1000, as the name implies, tears into two pieces when a wedgie is attempted. This leaves the playground bully reeling with a handful of skid marks. Brilliant. The two parts are held together by Velcro, which we think may be a design flaw. Velcro rubbing up our southern regions might be a tad discomforting. That reminds us of the Deep Heat/boxer shorts prank. Oh it burnt—those were the bad times. [Strange New Products]

Dr. Ashen Reviews the PolyStation 3

Jason Chen — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:37:04 EDT

Our buddy Dr. Ashen of crappy gadget fame just reviewed the the PolyStation 3; a horrific knockoff of a famed Japanese console that only a snarky British gentleman can properly go to town on. Not to spoil the ending or anything, but there's a reason why he calls himself a Doctor (and no it's not like why Judge Reinhold calls himself Judge). [YouTube]