Brendan Koerner Teaches Stephen Colbert About CFLs and the Environment

Friend of Giz and contributing editor Brendan I. Koerner was on the Colbert Report last night to school Stephen on ways to save the environment. Koerner discussed the paper/plastic debate, using air conditioning vs. windows, and whether it's cheaper to buy CFLs or regular bulbs. Colbert let the green-concious Koerner off pretty easy, but he did manage to raise a fascinating point: If CFLs weren't meant to be licked, why do they look so damn delicious? [The Colbert Report, Brendan Koerner]

Hype Sheet Special: Blu-ray vs. HD DVD for All the Marbles

Few things set geek hearts aflutter like a juicy hardware rivalry. Who among us hasn't thoroughly enjoyed taking sides in such legendary throwdowns as Mac versus PC, PlayStation versus Xbox, or (for the truest of old-timers) Atari versus Intellivision? It's thus in our nature to pay excessive attention to the raging Blu-ray versus HD DVD imbroglio, which is several shades more entertaining that any other ongoing battle. Enormous vats of digital ink have been spilled in the name of arguing which format is better. But quality doesn't always guarantee victory—just ask the Betamax. Who, then, is winning the disc-of-tomorrow advertising war? We'll start with HD DVD's latest entrant, starring...ex-San Diego Chargers head coach Marty Schottenheimer? What, Rich Kotite wasn't available? More »

Hype Sheet: Back to the Future With Magnavox

The Pitch With mere days left before the dawn of 2008, there's precious little time left to celebrate a geek milestone: the silver anniversary of the incomparable Magnavox Odyssey gaming console. This particular ad, however, aired in early 1973, about nine months after the Odyssey's debut. The oddly unenthusiastic narrator terms the product "the electronic game of the future" as a Brady-like couple sets up their rig—a surprisingly laborious process involving plastic overlays. Man and wife enjoy a few rounds of Magnavox Hockey, Tennis, and (ugh) Geography on their "closed-circuit electronic playground," twiddling the knobs on their toaster-sized controllers. The spot ends with an exhortation to visit your Magnavox dealer ("he's listed in the Yellow Pages," natch). A hilarious fossil of a commercial, but also an early example of how technology companies deal with marketing crises—especially when they're in the midst of pushing truly novel products. More »

Hype Sheet: Olympus Sees Your Undies

The Pitch An intrepid mountaineer summits a snowy peak, raising his arms in the universal symbol of triumph. The celebratory moment is ruined, however, when his flip phone rings—T-Mobile has apparently been installing cell towers in the Himalayas. The message our intrepid hero receives is an important one: His fly is open, an embarrassing oversight that's quickly corrected. How did the caller know the mountaineer was in danger of hanging brain? Because he's stationed down below with an Olympus SP-560 Ultra Zoom camera, which features an 18x optical zoom. Okay, so we get the basic gist—hooray for a maximum focal length of 486mm! But what might this spot tell us about the future of Olympus, the world's fourth-biggest camera maker? More »

Hype Sheet: Pioneer's Nightmarish Vision

The Pitch Someone over at TBWA\Chiat\Day has been reading their Sandman back issues, it seems. How else to explain the terrifying image contained within this Pioneer spot, of teeth embedded in eye sockets—seems to be a direct rip from the Corinthian, no? The stuff of nightmares, perhaps, but also a pretty memorable come-on for the new Kuro lineup of best-in-class plasma TVs, which ostensibly provide the deepest, richest blacks this side of reality. Is Pioneer poised to become a serious high-end HDTV player, after a long stretch in the wilderness? Or is the company's massive effort on behalf of the Kuros too little, too late, what with brands like Samsung and LG already so firmly entrenched in the consumer psyche? More »

Hype Sheet: The Iceman Insists That You're Getting a Dell

The Pitch As part of its sprawling "Star Power" holiday campaign, Dell enlists MMA legend Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell for a tongue-in-cheek shill session. Diction isn't Liddell's forte, alas, so it's a bit tough to understand his entire spiel—especially his use of a money vs. happiness line chart toward the commercial's end. But the basic gist is simple enough: buy an XPS desktop, or the Iceman will pound you into submission. Note the look of terror in the mangled chart-holder's eyes—that young man seems to know Liddell's fury firsthand. Overall, a clever concept slightly marred by so-so execution. Would struggling Dell have been better served by spending its zillions elsewhere? Or shall mock scare tactics put the once-proud company on the comeback trail? More »

Hype Sheet: Sirius Plays the Bones, Yells "Domino!"

The Pitch A cleverly conceived journey through the history of sonic media (though, regrettably, the creators don't include the phonograph cylinder). Cassettes, 8-track cartridges and CDs are lined up like so many dominoes, all tumbling with a mighty clack. The surprise comes toward the end, when a crashing jukebox sets off an iPod chain reaction. All those perfect things fan out before a seemingly mammoth Sirius Stiletto 2, which the narrator touts as revolutionary: "Everything else falls short." So is Sirius's revamped portable player really about to give the iPod a run for its money? Or are the headphoned masses (Howard Stern aficionados excluded) not yet ready to pay monthly subscription fees? More »

Hype Sheet: Buy This Computer or You're the Worst Parent Ever

The Pitch Time for a little holiday nostalgia this week, as Hype Sheet goes digging through the crates for this 1983 Texas Instruments gem—a textbook example of preying on parental fears. A blond, bowl-cutted moppet sits on daddy's lap, toying with an educational program on the family's snazzy TI-99/4A. "A Texas Instruments home computer can give him a real head start," intones the honey-voiced narrator, as Junior successfully identifies a pixilated rabbit. At the end, however, the message turns more ominous: "Don't put it off!"—the unspoken end of that sentence being, "...or your kid will be DUMB!" America, however, wouldn't be cowed by scare tactics: TI was forced to close its home-computer division that same year. Was the home of the integrated circuit just a victim of bad timing? Or did it botch its marketing strategy? More »

Hype Sheet: Juking for Verizon's Sake

The Pitch As a raucous Hardnox tracks kicks in, a nimble-footed, ponytailed cat named Charles does his thing on an unadorned soundstage. And what a thing it is—the sort of gorgeously fluid dancing that makes us Joe Q. Publics curse the gods for failing to grant us such talent. Charles's moves are all the more impressive when you notice that he's performing while clutching something in his right hand—one of those new Samsung Jukes that Verizon's pushing (and aggressively subsidizing) nowadays. Is this specs-free spot—which is part of a dance-centric series—gonna sell the kiddos on the Juke? Or will they chortle at a mere 2GB worth of internal memory? More »

Hype Sheet: Acer Ladles Out the Bollywood Cheese

The Pitch Bollywood tropes can be hard for non-Indians to process, and the song-and-dance routine in this Acer spot is no exception. It starts off as a West Side Story clone, with finger-snapping toughs—er, "toughs"—bobbing their heads. But why are they in a prison? And what is matinee idol Hrithik Roshan doing there, teasing two inmates whose sentences include the forced use of laptops sans Acer's "eTechnology" bloatware? As the ensuing musical production explains, using an Acer Aspire 4920 shall liberate you from the shackles of technofrustration. "Life is busy, Acer makes it easy!" chimes Roshan, assisted by a gaggle of comely backup dancers. Perhaps, but does Acer really have a prayer of becoming the subcontinent's go-to laptop brand? More »

Hype Sheet: Philips and the Art of Naked Humiliation (NSFW)

WARNING: VIDEO INCLUDES BRIEF, PASTY REAR NUDITY! More »

Hype Sheet: What Happens in Vega$...

The Pitch We've seen this approach before, eh? Looks like one of those AT&T commercials in which a dropped call leads to an awkward situation—a mother spontaneously revealing her sexually licentious past, for example, or Roger Clemens pushing it one season too far. But this schlubby hubby's problem isn't poor reception. Rather, it's the fact that he's just lost $5,800 playing blackjack in Vegas—a revelation he conveniently buries midway through the conversation. His disgruntled, potato-peeling wife doesn't explode, but points out (correctly) that dear hubby seems to be a bloomin' idiot. Good thing the unhappy couple is taking advantage of AT&T's Rollover minutes—a promotion inherited from Cingular—or the call would be sinking them even further into debt. Why has AT&T forsaken its long-running "fewest dropped calls" pitch in favor of stressing its trademarked Rollover deal? More »

Hype Sheet: IBM and the Rage of the IT Underclass

The Pitch A balding butterball stumbles through a barren, Tatooine-like landscape. He's on the search for water, no doubt, but instead he finds a cluster of fridge-sized servers—the gods are obviously displeased with our afflicted protagonist. "The servers are too hot!" he exclaims, before crumbling in a heap. Moments from death, however, a bespectacled angel appears—the archetypal IT geek, passing along a message of sweet salvation. Turns out the desert scenario was all in Butterball's tortured mind, and he's just passed out at the base of a nifty IBM BladeCenter—a server ostensibly designed to run cooler than its competitors. All in all, a no-nonsense, slightly ham-fisted spot—as well as a salvo in an increasingly bitter server war twixt IBM and HP. And so begineth an era in which enterprise hardware shall be marketed like Fruit Loops—what an exciting time to be alive. More »

Hype Sheet: The iPhone's Downshift, With a Little Help from Doug

The Pitch Apple does a 180 from its usual DayGlo approach and mounts a man-on-the-street campaign, all in the name of that milestone gadget you either love to love, or love to hate. First up is recent iPhone convert Doug, who ungrammatically hails his non-bricked gizmo as "one of the greatest advancements in the history of mankind." His primary evidence? The fact you can scroll past voicemails that have obviously been left by mendacious deadbeats. And that's it—the spot closes with a staged-looking outtake of Doug leaving the scene, a shot meant to stress the fact that everything you just saw was completely unscripted. Okay, so this very column recently quipped that Apple might want to consider changing up is ad approach, if for no other reason than to keep the masses guessing. But is Doug the answer? More »

Hype Sheet: Sony's Dead Serious Side

The Pitch On the eve of the new Bravia ad's debut in the U.K., it's worth taking a gander at one of Sony's more prosaic creations. This commercial doesn't hawk a specific product, but rather Sony's entire lineup of high-definition goods—part of the company's ongoing "HD World" campaign (a.k.a. the "Feel" campaign, a.k.a. the "like.no.other" campaign). Confused? The narration in this ad won't help, as the voiceover asks a series of philosophical stumpers such as "What is plain?" and "What is dirty?" The rhetorical questions fly by for nearly a full minute, layered over images of urban decay. Finally, a ray of hope—an adorable moppet in a red raincoat, and the optimistic declaration that all we need "is a new way of seeing...Welcome to a new world." Without the visual aids—notably a closing montage of Sony products—one might think this spot was advocating some sort of utopian socialist revolution. Did Sony step over the fine line that separates high-brow art from contemptible bunk? Or is this an ingenious bit of brand building that'll play well across cultures? More »

Hype Sheet: Microsoft's Destructive Kneeslapper

The Pitch Rarely does wanton demolition fail to entertain, and this Microsoft spot is certainly no exception. The ad starts off as a shoulder-shrugger—with a crane slowly lifting a pallet of telephony equipment into place—then turns uproarious when the cable snaps. A car is thus pancaked in spectacular fashion, and the handheld camera pans across a few startled onlookers—including the crane operator, who skedaddles from the scene as if Cerberus himself were nipping at his heels. The spot ends with a couple of banners fashioned after police tape, imploring viewers to "VoIP As You Are" with Microsoft's gracious assistance. So when did the Colossus of Redmond develop a sense of humor? And will businesses really be wheedled into trusting their treasured voice communications to the folks who brought us the Blue Screen of Death? More »

Hype Sheet: Feist's Earworm and the iPod nano

The Pitch Our cooler-than-thou cousins over at Gawker recently pronounced Canadian songstress Feist yesterday's news, but the folks at TBWA/Chiat/Day apparently didn't get the message. Their latest Apple ad, for the new vid-enhanced iPod nano, features Feist in all her sparkly, hip-hugging glory, tweeting out her super-catchy "1234." And, really, there ain't a lot more to it, save for a disembodied hand that enters the screen to reveal the case colors (and, presumably, to provide the viewers with some sense of scale). Why, it's almost like Apple is so sure of mammoth sales that it isn't even trying any more—imagine that! Will the House That Jobs Built ever regret putting its ad campaigns on cruise control? Or is there something to that age-old adage of "Stick with the one that brung ya"—especially when you've figured out a way to fatten your margins even more? More »

Hype Sheet: HP Hollas Back, Girl

The Pitch Gwen Stefani wants you to know that she just oozes creativity from every pore. "People think you can turn creativity on and off, but it's not like that," the singer-cum-designer declares while sashaying through a cloud of fluttering photographs. "It just kind of comes out, a mashup of all these things you collect in your mind." Soon enough, the surprisingly racktacular Gwen is strutting through the streets of Tokyo while wearing a form-fitting rugby shirt and cherry-red lipstick—an art geek's dream. The spot ends with her gazing into the night sky, and a come-on for viewers to visit hp.com/gwen and try their hand at creating paper dolls and photo albums. And therein lies this ad's real purpose—trying to find a new-and-better way of integrating the web into traditional (as opposed to guerrilla) marketing campaigns. Is HP on the right path, or are the cool kids right in mocking Stefani's vanity—and, by extension, HP's misguidedness? More »

Hype Sheet: Radio Shack is Wrong on So Many Levels

The Pitch "Penelope" is not a happy camper. Seems that she's had it up to here with her boyfriend's vinylphilia, and she appears to have issued an ultimatum in advance of her latest business trip: either the records go, or I do. How will the conflicted Romeo respond? Why, by magically using a couple of Radio Shack cables and a new laptop to digitize his entire LP collection—in, uh, three or four days (a generous estimate based on the size of Penelope's suitcase). The result? Our male protagonist is definitely gettin' some tonight, based on Penelope's winsome reaction to the booming iPod dock awaiting her return. "With our help at Radio Shack, you don't just buy stuff," the narrator declares during the outro. "You do stuff." Wait, is the Shack really trying to pitch itself as a customer-service mecca? And are their ad folks really that ignorant about analog-to-digital transferring? Why, yes—yes they are. More »

Hype Sheet: Dolby Creates Some Buzz

The Pitch Everyone who's been wondering what Jerry Seinfeld's been up to—other than cashing syndication checks the size of Tonga's GDP—need wonder no more: Judging by this promo, he's voicing the protagonist in DreamWorks Animation's forthcoming Bee Movie. (And how nice of him to find work for Patrick "Puddy" Warburton, who plays the audio engineer.) In this 30-second snippet, Jerry's bee mightily flaps his wings into a studio microphone, blasting Puddy through a concrete wall and into the ladies loo. How can such a tiny insect achieve such mighty volume? Why, thanks to Dolbee—er, Dolby—Digital technology, as the kick-out logo informs us. Cute, but why is the already ubiquitous Dolby Labs straining to reach the grade-school demographic? More »

Hype Sheet: Vizio Rising

The Pitch This commercial's official title is "Helping Hand," but "Manmade Disasters" would've been more accurate. The spot opens with a dude balancing his old tube TV on a balcony ledge, then scanning around to make sure no one's gonna bust him on such an obviously callous maneuver. (Pity about the pedestrian who will likely get brained below.) Next comes a literati type purposely nudging a flowerpot onto his big screen, then a housewife knocking over her mammoth Clinton-era TV—and smiling at the mayhem she's caused. Are these folks closet psychopaths? Nah, just ordinary Americans "looking for an excuse to buy a new Vizio," which are apparently starting at $599 nowadays. More »

Hype Sheet: Ballin' the Jack for VCast

The Pitch Jim, a typical office drone, has apparently switched to Verizon Wireless so he can download AC/DC tunes for his LG Chocolate. (Sorry, I don't know the HTML code for a lightning bolt, so live with the slash.) This not-so-amazing (and, for that matter, not-so-believable) revelation is over and done with by the commercial's 10-second mark; the rest of the ad is taken up with Jim flailing around in Angus Young's trademark schoolboy outfit, like a stand-up comic who really wants an unearned laugh. Oh, yeah, and a nerdy coworker chimes in with an insightful quip—"That's awesome"—before the back-end hype begins. The narrator notes that you can now download AC/DC albums via VCast, as well as "exclusive videos and concert footage." Wow, unfunny and misleading—a lethal combo that makes this ad worthy of derision. More »

Hype Sheet: DirecTV Couldn't Afford Newt

The Pitch DirecTV's ingenious ad agency, Deutsch Inc., mods yet another cinematic classic, this time selecting a flick that's sure to delight the Gizmodo crowd: James Cameron's superb Aliens. Yes, that's the real Sigourney Weaver, made up to look 21 years younger and slotted into a similar-looking robot-arm apparatus. This time, though, no dirty mouth—the script elides her use of the B-word, instead cutting to a deliberately cheesy paean to a DirecTV deal (new subscribers may qualify to get the first four months free). The moment's all the funnier, of course, because Weaver—er, Ripley—is battling Mama Alien while praising a DBS service. Funny stuff, and the most geek-friendly of DirecTV's long-running "Fourth Wall" ad campaign since last year's Star Trek spot. But can these inventive ads fend off the specter of Verizon's FiOS and other triple-play providers? More »

Hype Sheet: Dell Shows Signs of Life

The Pitch Who spiked the punch at Dell's ad agency (the mysterious Mother New York)? As the Flaming Lips' relentlessly awesome "The W.A.N.D." cranks on the soundtrack, images of LSD-tinged Americana fly by—a lime-green BBQ, a playboy curling pink dumbells, a sunglassed female guitarist incongruously strolling by a collection of teddy bears. Once we get to the elderly couple and their Inspiron 1420-equipped granddaughter tooling around the desert in a Pacer, we get our first spec porn—a shout-out to the new laptops' "long-range wireless" (a reference to the optional EV-DO card?). After a hippie kung-fu dude and a couple of raincoated old salts put in appearances, the ad ends with a truly memorable visual: a geek cruising about the 'hood in a robot that looks like a mod of ED-209. An eye-catching commercial, no doubt. But can this campaign rescue struggling Dell from its recent free-fall? More »

Hype Sheet: Michel Gondry and HP's Rebranding Project

The Pitch Yet another entrant in HP's "The Computer is Personal Again" campaign, this time featuring French art-school deity Michel Gondry (though the spot's actually directed by his brother, Olivier, who also did HP's great Vera Wang ad). If you saw The Science of Sleep, you know what's coming: lots of stop motion and lysergic colors, on a set resembling a Kafkaesque version of Pee Wee's Playhouse. Gondry, mostly shot from the neck down, mumbles in a thick French accent 'bout all the computer tasks he enjoys—lots of photo manipulation, as well as maintaining his Web site. And his hardware of choice? An HP Pavilion Media Center PC with Intel Viiv technology. Is HP's rebranding as an Apple/Sony Vaio competitor continuing apace with this ad, by hitting that all-important creative-pro demographic? Or should it have stopped at that Orange County Choppers spot, and instead focused on ridding its PCs of all that atrocious bloatware? More »

Hype Sheet: Samsung and the Cirque du Soleil Approach

The Pitch As watered-down, possibly Slavic electro kicks in on the soundtrack, a woman covered in multi-hued body paint dances in a black, gravity-free void. Cut to swirls of rainbow vapor, then back to our porcelain-faced harlequin performing back flips and other dazzling gymnastic feats. It's not until the very end that one of Samsung's latest "Bordeaux" PAVV LCD TVs makes an appearance, flashing across the screen like the mirror prison from Superman II, then framing the dancer's paint-streaked visage. What in Mjolnir's name is Samsung trying to tell consumers in Asia, where this ad is now running? And would such a head-scratching commercial ever play in Peoria, should the new PAVV lineup (or, more likely, its rebranded equivalent) come West? More »

Hype Sheet: Welcome to Jimmy's HotSpot @Home

The Pitch "How many phones does one man need?" the narrator asks as the camera pans across a line of halter-topped lovelies chatting on their mobiles. The women shimmy in hypnotic slo-mo, with the line ending at a Grace Jones look-alike (circa Conan the Destroyer). And then—Jimmy! A wannabe Hefner in a monogrammed bathrobe, Jimmy's smiling ear-to-ear—not because Grace is rubbing her Spandex-clad naughty bits against his hip, but rather because he has T-Mobile's HotSpot @Home service. Having permanently banished his landline, Jimmy can now dedicate himself full-time to sybaritic pleasures; in another upcoming spot, for example, he hosts a pool party that's wall-to-wall with adoring ladies. Will this putty-jawed lothario lead T-Mobile to the wireless promised land, or does the tongue-in-cheek approach fall flat? More »

Hype Sheet: The Nikon D40 Meets Joe America

The Pitch A horde o' red-blooded Americans from Georgetown, S.C., are handed 200 Nikon D40s and instructed to document their daily lives. Cue a cloyingly sweet montage of townsfolk snapping each other at barbershops, cheerleading practice and garden parties, while the narrator waxes rhapsodic on the D40's ease-of-use. The spot culminates with the Georgetowners congregating for a photo show, then holding up some Fathead-sized portraits as the outro music swells. Georgetown, we're finally told, has been unofficially rechristened Picturetown, "a place where ordinary people take extraordinary pictures." Has Nikon found the right formula for pushing DSLRs to the masses, or does the Norman Rockwell approach miss the mark? More »

Hype Sheet: The Gemstones Cometh

By Brendan I. Koerner More »

Hype Sheet: LG Goes the Mentos Route

By Brendan I. Koerner More »

Hype Sheet: The Zune's Latest

By Brendan I. Koerner More »

Hype Sheet

Terrell Owens for Boost Mobile

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Hype Sheet

The Bose SoundDock

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Hype Sheet

Nokia's "It's Your Life in There" Campaign: Jill

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Hype Sheet

The Moto PEBL

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