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Necky: The Snuggie For Your Neck
Are you so stupid that scarves confuse you? Jesus Christ. Well, the Necky was designed with you in mind, you idiot. [BuyNecky via Jezebel]A Brief Note About Beavers' Testicles
We didn't overhear this, but sometimes Apple Mac OS X built-in dictionary's unmitigated pearls of wisdom are too good to ignore. Beavers, idiots, idiot beavers, idiots' beavers: Beware.Get a Palm Pre Tattoo For a Free Pre: Save $199, Lose a Lifetime of Dignity
Lou wanted a free Palm Pre. So, naturally, he got a Palm Pre tattoo. Wait, what? More »World's Smartest Prison Officer Fired After Using a Stun Gun on Visiting Children
Bad idea: using a taser on someone who's done nothing wrong. Very, very bad idea: using a taser on a bunch of kids visiting a prison for Take Your Son or Daughter to Work Day. More »Terrible Human Being Puts His Cat in a Bong to 'Chill it Out'
Here's something you should not do: put your cat in a bong when it's being too rambunctious. You moron. UPDATE More »If You Melt Ice With a Blowtorch, You Will Set Your House on Fire
Giz winter tip: If you need to melt ice on your back porch, use this. If you use a blowtorch, you will probably set your house on fire like this dumb guy in Massachusetts. [Yahoo]$900 Contraption Trims Your CDs to Make Them Rounder, You Poorer
We've certainly seen our fair share of insane, overpriced equipment aimed at overmonied audiophiles (usually from Furutech), but this is a new one to me. The Audio Desk Systeme from Germany takes your CD, spins it at a super-high speed, and uses a blade to cut it down to a more perfect circle. Apparently, this prevents very slight wobbling as it spins, which can create a jitter in the digital stream that affects the sound, according to idiots. It's a mere $900, which, in these circles, is a total bargain. [Ultra System via Dvice]Kitty Tanning Bed is a Bad Sign for Humanity
This is a tanning bed for cats and dogs. Also, it is a sign of the apocalypse and/or the downfall of the American empire. Because really, when you're tanning your pets, you don't deserve to have any influence over the rest of the world. You're officially an idiot. More »Afternoon News: Dark Knight Tomatoes, Woz's Odor, Shopping With Microsoft and More
LCD Window Thermometer is a Wall-Mounted Spoiler Alert