This isn't some guy who's covered in tattoos already, either. This is Lou's very first and only tattoo, a big ugly Palm Pre right on his shoulder. He will get his precious smartphone courtesy of PreCentral.net, but you've gotta wonder how long it'll be before he starts trying to get a different website to pay for the laser removal. I mean, for chrissakes, the free phone is only worth $199! Come on, Lou, you could have gotten so much more for an equally embarrassing tattoo if you only knew how to market yourself.

So what do you think: is this more or less sad than Zune tattoo guy? I think Zune guy is still the saddest, as he didn't get free anything for his permanent branding (that he's since changed into something perhaps even more regrettable). [Pre Central]

You've got to wonder just what was going through prison officer Walter Schmidt's head when he decided to use a 50,000-volt stun gun on some kids visiting the Talahassee prison he worked at. One of the kids ended up going to the hospital and, not surprisingly, Schmidt got fired.

37-year-old Schmidt told officials who later fired him that he had only been trying to show the children - whose parents all work at the jail near Tallahassee - what a typical day involves while handling unruly inmates.

'It wasn't intended to be malicious, but educational,' he explained to the St Petersburg Times.

'The big shock came when I got fired.'

The jokes just write themselves, don't they? [Daily Mail via The Daily What]

UPDATE: The AP is now reporting that unemployed cat bong guy "says he put cat in bong 3 times." [SF Gate]

Sadly, that's just what one Acea Schomaker of Omaha, Nebraska did. Cops responding to a domestic disturbance call found the 20-year-old asshole smoking weed out of a duct-taped plastic box with a garden hose running into it and the cat stuffed inside.

The cat was fine, luckily, if dazed. "She was on the front seat of the cop car, wrapped in a blanket, and never moved all the way to the humane society," said one of the cops. It presumably ate a shitton of cat food when it got there.

Schomaker was fined $400 and faces drug and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges, and the cat was removed from his custody. [Huffington Post]

Essentially, this thing is a sunshine simulator, making your pet feel like its laying out in the sun even when it's the middle of February. But do you know what else a pet can sleep in front of to feel warm? A heater or a fireplace. It's not like there needs to be a bright light there to confuse your cat about what season it is, and last time I checked pets don't need to tan, as they're covered in hair. If you purchase this you should officially lose your right to use currency and should forfeit agency over your finances to a third party with some sense in its damned head. [TrendHunter via BornRich]

Product Page [Cool Things]

Am I way off base here? Is ATHF as bad as Bin Laden? Who is really to blame for the entire of city of Boston being shut down?

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–Adam Frucci

Night before last was Digital Lifestyles, a preview of CES that basically shrinks down the conference center into one big room. It had lots of food, free booze, and tables and tables of gadgets. Witness scenes from the floor and minor tech-world celebs such as Walt Mossberg and Adam Sessler hanging out while future Nobel laureate Vince waxes poetic about a house party that we passed on as we had plans to get harassed at some other parties instead.

Man, I hate those guys. –Adam Frucci with video by Richard Blakeley

CES 2007 [Gizmodo]

Video [YouTube via Digg]

Tip: Don't try to serve like Pete Sampras unless you can actually hold on to your Wiimote. – Jason Chen

The posting of this video does not reflect Gizmodo's stance towards Apple products. No worries, we are still Apple fanboys.

Nuke an iPod Nano [Gadgetizer]