Really, just wow. See more here: [Zen77990 via BBG]

Answering questions about the causes of this assault and Santa Claus' detention, Mr. Kwazansky pointed out that Imperial Intelligence had undeniable proof of Santa's production of WMDs at his factory located near the North Pole. "He is also a perv, you know," he added, "a guy who goes around his house clad in red velvet and has underaged boys assisting him all day long. Illegal sex? Forced labor? You gotta be kidding. We have the patent on forced labor too. Ask the wookies."

Later in the press conference, Mr. Kwazansky, 48 years old and still living with his parents, revealed that Santa may have been stealing industrial secrets from Imperial-exclusive defense contractor Sienar Fleet Systems. "And what's with the bloody flying reindeers anyway?" he said, "how the Force do they fly? I bet they have Twin Ion Engines up their butts. That's classified technology, people. Fatso is finishing his days in the Great Pit of Carkoon, I tell you." The spokesperson left the stage laughing maniacally, muttering something about how Santa was going to suffer for all those years of coal back at the Imperial Orphanage.

Commenting on the strike, UN's North Pole representative Kalle Jugercømmandersson said that "we don't understand this act of unprovoked agression. The North Pole has been weapons-free since 1959, when Timmy the Polar Bear was killed by a drunk seal using a 38." Then, he started sobbing, crying "and we are not little boys! We are little grown men!" out loud.

Lord Darth Vader was unavailable to comment at the time of this report.

(Photo of Santa being taken to an Imperial Shuttle—or something like that—courtesy of Michael Sibbernsen)

Not the most attractive or humunoid of robots, this particular piece of equipment is being called Sister Mary and is part of a trial run by the department of biosurgery and surgical technology at Imperial College. Basically, it allows doctors to look at patients remotely, though it may be a little jarring to see your doctor's talking head in this thing.

Sister Mary is 5' 3" and weighs 215 lb. She's also got a camera and tilting screen, runs Windows XP Professional and operates over a wireless 802.11b network that provides a data stream of 600 kilobits per second each way. The control center for the doctor consists of a double screen, Webcam and joystick for controlling the robot.

Obviously, it will allow for remote patient consultations but it could also be used for training medical staff remotely as well.

But the real question is, how will patients take to being dealt with by robots rather than human beings. Even if your doctor is there on the screen, I can't imagine this is going to make you feel 100%, especially if you're dealing wits something life threatening. But it could save time and help doctors get through rounds quicker.

Robot displaces candy stripers
[news.com]