I've got to assume that this thing was made for someone without use of their hands, such as a double amputee, as it certainly doesn't make the wiping process any more convenient. Furthermore, no germaphobe would accept the tradeoff of keeping clean hands for having a roll of feces-smattered toilet paper just sitting there behind their toilet. Why else would this thing exist? And really, the more I look at it the more I get confused about how exactly it functions. What about when you're actually going? Doesn't it get in the way?

Someone, please, step in and explain this to me. I'm having trouble here. [Make via Boing Boing Gadgets]

Here is the XM982 Excalibur precision-guided artillery projectile. Soldiers are able to program map grid coordinates into an Excalibur round and use GPS to guide it to target with pinpoint accuracy.
The Objective Gunner Protection Kit (OGPK) is a motorized, rotating turret mounted on top of Humvees and MRAP vehicles. According to the Army it offers protection from IED fragmentation and small-arms fire, includes transparent armor, a sling for the gunner, and super handy rear-view mirrors.
The HMMWV Egress Assistance Trainer (that's better known as "Humvee") is a mockup of a Hummer's cabin, and can be spun around to simulate an upended vehicle. Soldiers use this invention to practice disembarking from damaged or overturned vehicles before they're deployed. [CNET]

That guy smiling in the photo is Butch Brady, of Jackson, while the guy behind him is Eric Sweet. And the board is probably the longest snowboard in the world, according to the Guinness World of Records. Hmmmm. Guinness. Time to go to the fridge. [Spluch]

Thomas Jefferson, the man who wrote the Declaration of Independence, also brought us the automatic door, swivel chair and designed the first ever macaroni machine. Ben Franklin, while never president, is definitely the geeks' choice for the man who never was but should have been—I mean, faced with he or Al Gore, who would you vote for?—was even more prolific. Blame him for bifocals, lightning rods, glass harmonicas and the odometer, that little counter that racks up your car's mileage, although Franklin's version was designed for carriages.

Finally, we have President Lincoln, the only US President to have obtained a patent, for a device to lift boats over schoals, after a couple of incidents when traveling by boat, first in 1831, and then in 1848, while traveling home from Congress. The patent application reads: "Be it known that I, Abraham Lincoln, of Springfield, in the county of Sangamon, in the state of Illinois, have invented a new and improved manner of combining adjustable buoyant air chambers with a steam boat or other vessel for the purpose of enabling their draught of water to be readily lessened to enable them to pass over bars, or through shallow water, without discharging their cargoes." Babraham's design never saw the light of day, however. [Wikipedia]

As you approach the sink, a camera and custom-built software calculates, using your line of sight, how tall you are. The sink then adjusts its height accordingly, and a second camera clocks the object to be washed, determining the temperature of the water. [TechEBlog]
*This is obviously a joke. J is 6'0" (or 1.80 meters, as they say in Euroland.)

[Inventor Spot via Geekologie]

The quotes by the kids are the best part of this video, laced with lament and hope deeper than we could expect from youngsters: "When someone gives you a wedgie, it hurts, and when we made wedgie proof underwear, it won't hurt anymore." Cheer up kid, you'll get fewer wedgies as you age towards your nobel peace prizes for these things. Although for me and many Giz readers, I'd say this piece of engineering has come a decade or three too late. [Wedgie Proof Undies]

Instead of cutting into your shoulders, these nylon-like straps convert that mechanical strain into electrical energy, and researchers have figured out that if you carry a 100-pound pack and walk at 2-3 mph you can generate 45.6 mW of power. That's enough to the power an iPod, or maybe a head-mounted flashlight. But a 100-pound pack? They're saying that's a typical weight for soldiers to carry. That'll make you think twice about signing up to go to Iraq. [Physorg, via Medlaunches]

They can be used on anything from sneakers to ski gloves to a waterproof cast (shown above) that Duffy calls the Unitary Wrap. I don't think I've used anything with Velcro since I was a kid, but the thought of a removable, waterproof cast sounds pretty cool. – Louis Ramirez

The New Velcro [Pop Sci]

His graduation project for NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program involves hooking up wires to his eyelids which trigger the camera's shutter. "Every picture's a bad one," he says. Andrew, we don't think there are going to be many takers for this dubious technology, but it's entertaining nonetheless. – Charlie White with video by Richard Blakeley

• Fun for everyone, including youngsters
• It's a safe way to place. You have more control than with a club.
• Hunting enthusiasts love it!

Yes, safe. I agree a cannon that can launch a golf ball upwards of 300 yards is definitely safe. Unfortunately, the golf ball launcher isn't available for purchase, yet. The creators are seeking a partner to license this extremely safe device. –Travis Hudson

Golf Ball Launcher ]]> Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:30:49 EST Travis Hudson http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=242046&view=rss&microfeed=true We're no big high heel wearers ourselves, but we like to watch those who choose to wear them walking away from us, as long as they promise to come right back. It's a guilty pleasure, though, because the damn things are so uncomfortable. One particular high heel sufferer has a remedy: Footloose, adjustable high heels that can be immediately converted into flats by just twisting that stiletto around.

So now those poor gals (and guys if they so choose) can wear flats most of the time, until they really need to strut their stuff, and then they can crank up the heels at a moment's notice. Footloose? Please, Louise, pull me off o' my knees. – Charlie White

Convertible High Heels [Oh Gizmo]

Han has already sold a screen to one of the branches of the military. Companies are already developing rival technologies to prevent Han from cornering the market. And to top it all off, a video of Han feeling up his screen for the cheering mob. – Nicholas Deleon

Can't Touch This [Fast Company]

We played with the system for a while tonight, putting the special cases on cellphones and attachments on iPods, and then suddenly those devices begin charging as soon as you place them on the metallic strip.

How the heck does this thing work?

It uses non-inductive technology to pass the current from strip to device without all that falderal you usually have to go through to charge it.

The company says we'll be seeing the first charging strips for sale in March, and the larger laptop-sized charger will be shipping in June.

This is the real deal, folks—get your $49 ready, and that includes one "enablement case." Additional cases are $10 - $20, depending on the device. – Charlie White

Take away steam massage [WMMNA]

Smart Plate [via Techopolis]

The scientists who developed the t-shirt said that the technology could be adapted to other, more useful functions, like improving coordination or asking out girls. What the world needs now is a device to allow for air blogging: that's where the money's at. – Nicholas Deleon

Every wanna-be rocker's fantasy comes true [CSIRO via Yahoo!/AP]

Aussie company Arasor and its stateside partner from the Silicon Valley Novalux say their combination of a unique optoelectronic chip and a laser projection device will be available by Christmas, 2007 and placed inside TVs made by companies such as Mitsubishi and Samsung.

These are bold claims from this couple of companies, but don't expect everyone to be throwing away those brand-new LCDs and plasma displays just yet. A lot can happen between now and December, 2007. – Charlie White

Laser TV unveiled [News.com.au]

Now this is downright weird. The SidewaysBike's rider sits either sidesaddle or facing toward the front, manipulating controllers that steer the front and back wheels independently. It looks a lot more maneuverable than a conventional bicycle, but we're not sure if it's stable enough to ride alongside the road in traffic.

This strange bike was invented by Michael Killian, who also created the Sideways Scooter. There's no indication whether either will be commercially available anytime soon. – Charlie White

Demo Page [SidewaysBike]

How does it work? The cable contains the customary two normally-insulated live wires plus an uninsulated ground wire. Surrounding all three wires is a carbon-laced polymer that conducts the electricity if the wire is cut, sending that current to the ground wire instead of through you. That's the kind of shocking experience we would very much like to avoid. Hey, this should be a standard type of electrical cable for all applications. – Charlie White

No Mow Shocks [New Scientist, via [OhGizmo]

What the Power-Pipe does is transfer heat from the warm water traveling inside of pipes, to the cold water flowing on the outer coils. Normally, the heat that the Power-Pipe recycles would be completely lost, costing people money in the process. The inventor of the Power-Pipe, Gerald Van Decker, figures that the typical temperature of water would rise 18 degrees Fahrenheit (10 degrees Celsius) to 45 degrees Fahrenheit (25 degrees Celsius). Best of all, since the Power-Pipe uses no moving parts, maintenance is nigh non-existent, with a projected life span of more than 50 years. – Nicholas Deleon

Engineering alumnus brings energy-efficient technology to a home near you [University of Waterloo]

I have the feeling that Gizmodo has not been impressed so far by the UMPC's coming out, check out this concept. My problem with the UMPC's is the fact that it is just one more seperate OS to carry around and try to sync with whatever else we already have. The U-HIP addresses this by utilizing a single OS for everyone in the home and everywhere. I admit it's vapourwear at the moment but is (canadian pat pend), I just need someone to manufacture it. The design of this should put it well below the $500 range and I don't see $200-300 range unreachable.

What say you? Are UMPC or are U-HIP? Why is the UMPC sucking wind?

The result is a highly unusual sound that's downright ethereal. It's more resonant than a conventional guitar, and the notes can be bent upwards or downwards for a slide-guitar effect. Best of all, the instrument is no more difficult to play than a regular guitar, and it can plucked and strummed, or even be bowed, or hit with sticks like a drum.

The instrument was first built in 2003, and there's a marketing effort going on at the website of the Tritare here.

Take a listen to this short composition played on the Tritare. It's like music from another world. – Charlie White

A New Family of Stringed Musical Instruments [ASA Meeting Paper, via Music Thing]

Micro windmill for generating energy [Nifindia.org via New Launches]