If Google's web crawlers are correct, there will be a new Retina display 13-inch MacBook Pro announced today. The Apple Store is currently down, so we can't follow the link, but a Google search for "13-inch macbook pro" returns results at the official Apple site referring to the new model.
Much like the eclipses of old would rattle the marrow of the ancients, the online Apple Store has traded its wares for a parading GIF of away multilingual away messages and left us all existentially afeared. Apple! Apple! Why have you forsaken us?!?!?!?!?
Tim Cook and his mariachis are presenting the new ultra-thin, ultra-light, magical iPad Mini or iPad Air* today at 1pm Eastern /10am Pacific at the California Theater in San Jose. They will probably announce other products too. We'll be commenting it live.