Until a week ago, I did not own a pair of shorts, but I did have two plaid flannel shirts and a drawer full of thick woolen socks. I say "to-more-owe," not "to-mah-row," and I went to "university," not "college." I have a full beard in the heat of summer. My passport reads United States of America, but I haven't lived here in four years. Yes, I was living in Canada, who today celebrates the peaceful unification of the Eastern provinces in 1867. Our northerly neighbo(u)rs were always kind to me, providing cheap higher education, affordable healthcare and a government that didn't totally suck balls. I loved living there, and haven't ruled out moving back. Yet beneath its placid exterior, there is a deep, dark secret threatening the life and liberty of its people: It absolutely blows to be a gadget nerd in Canada.
More »