Q: What about entertainment? I can't just sleep all day (or can I?).

If it is entertainment you seek, look no further than the Hi-Can high fidelity canopy. It will enable you to surf the web, watch movies, play games and listen to music—all from the comfort of your bed. You can even control other gadgets in the room via a control panel located on the headboard. At this point the bed is only a concept, but the words "coming soon" at the end of the video on the website offer some hope that it will become a commercial product. [Hi-Can via Link]

Chances are the Hi-Can is going to be a little rich for your blood, but you still have plenty of inexpensive choices when it comes to MP3 pillows. This particular iPod-shaped version is soft enough to sleep on, but you can also hook it to your iPod (or any other MP3 player) to listen to your favorite tunes through its speakers. You can even scan through FM radio. Available for $19.99. [Kleargear]

If you want a comfortable way to use your laptop in bed, LapDawg has the answer with a wooden stand that will allow you to use your computer in a variety of positions—even lying down. Available for $130. [LapDawg via Link]

Q: What about sex? I like sex.

Don't worry—we have you covered. First up we have this Private Cloud bed by designer Manuel Kloker. As you can see from the image above, it can rock. It is also available for sale, although the price is unknown. If you can't put 2 and 2 together with how that could prove useful in a sexual situation, chances are you are not so popular with the ladies. Let me re-direct you to another product more suited to your needs:

Strip Tease Pillow Cases: While this pillowcase is fairly tame, I can assure you that things get interesting as the stripping continues on pillow 2. Available for $19.95. [Private Cloud Bed via Link and Strip Tease Pillow Cases—NSFW Link!]

Getting back on track, we have the aptly titled "Love Mattress." It offers couples "a simple yet effective position for embracing" using polyurethane-injected foam strips that allow arms and feet to fit between the gaps. In other words, you can hold your partner without having your arms fall asleep. And, by the looks of things, it can offer quite a bit of traction. Unfortunately, the Love Mattress is only a concept at this point. [Gooya Design via Link]

If you are looking for something a little classier and more elaborate, we have the Sphere Bed with its 32-inch LCD TV, surround sound speakers, champagne chiller and massage unit under the mattress. Plus, it has that plush red frame that just screams sex. [Product Page via Link]

Q: As you can probably tell, my priorities are messed up—which is why I put sex and entertainment over hygiene. But I do shower every once in awhile—can I do that in bed?

Yes...yes you can. The Shower Bath in Bed is normally reserved for those with severe physical limitations, but I don't see why it can't be utilized by the lazy as well. Basically, the Shower Bath in Bed is a collapsible tub that stays on the bed at all times. When it is time for a bath or shower, the tub basin is formed and a shower head with hot and cold faucets is fed water from a supply system that can be connected to a sink or bathroom faucet spout. When the shower is complete, the water can be funneled to a floor drain or pumped into a commode, sink or bathtub with the optional Automatic Drain AUDR-1 accessory. Not surprisingly, this kind of convenience doesn't come cheap. Expect to pay well over $5000 for the complete package. [Shower Bath in Bed]

Q: What about dropping a deuce? Can I do that in bed?

Sure—if you have one of these Quantum Sleepers. One of the main perks is a complete toiletry system, but the fun does not stop there. The unit also functions as a panic room that can protect you from break-ins, chemical warfare and natural disasters. The unit is completely air-tight so filtered O2 is pumped in. It also features 1.25" polycarbonate bulletproof plating, a heating and air conditioning system, cover and door actuators with emergency release, a proximity sensor, O2 sensor, smoke detector, motion detector, an emergency communication system and backup battery power.

According to the product page, the rebreather system will work for three days before the unit starts to tap outside air—which is more than enough for a weekend of serious R&R. Curiously enough, it is also enough time to die of dehydration. There does not seem to be any mention of how rations and water would be stored. [Quantum Sleeper]

Q: I like the idea behind that Quantum Sleeper. If Armageddon should come while I lie in bed this weekend, how will I kill the zombies that are sure to roam the Earth?

With a "Back-Up" bed rifle rack, of course! When it is inserted under the mattresses, your shotgun is always within arms' reach. [Back-Up]

Q: What about the kids? How can I keep them out of my hair this weekend?

As a bonus, I offer you these space shuttle and pirate ship themed beds. If you are willing to drop around $2600 and $8000 (respectively) on beds this awesome, chances are your kids won't want to leave bed either. [Space Shuttle Bed via Link and Pirate Ship Bed]

The system was devised by Dr. Kenneth Rose, a former Army surgeon who spent several years in the military. "The majority of preventable deaths come from loss of blood resulting from arm and leg wounds that are not protected by body armor," he explained. "The fact that you can always find the tourniquet with the Integrated Tourniquet System and the speed with which you can immediately apply it will dramatically impact not only loss of life but also the amount of time that it takes to recover from extreme blood loss injuries."

Warrior Wear is currently in the last phase of testing, and should be available in the first quarter of next year. [Blackhawk! via Medgadget]

Nothing to write home about, but it should cost about $1200 and features a smug sense of superiority as well as the penchant to eat/produce great wine and cheese.

Product Page [It's Label via MobileWhack via NaviGadget]