As usual, this matrix is just the tip of the molehill—if you want to really get in deep with these colorful characters, here's where to look:

• NYT - David Pogue

• WSJ - Walt Mossberg

• USA Today - Ed Baig

• Wired - Steven Levy

• Cnet - Kent German

• Engadget - Josh Topolsky

• Ars Technica

• Laptop

• Crunchgear

• Gear Live

• Gizmodo - Jason Chen

And if we've missed your review, send it in: we'll add it to the list.

In the Palm Pre reviews, nobody used the word "iPhone" as much as WSJ's Walt Mossberg—he was a third more likely to use it than his colleagues David Pogue (NYT) and Ed Baig (USA Today) were, and he even lead with a discussion of it, before mentioning the Pre. Nobody wrote nearly as long as Josh at Engadget: His review is over 10,000 words; ours, the next longest, was just over 3,000. There was a lot of consensus here, though notable disharmony when it came to Sprint service and the Pre's tight keyboard.

And nobody, but nobody, mastered the metaphor like Jason Chen. Except maybe David Pogue. Read on...

Of course, there's no way to fit even all the main points into the review matrix, so if you want to go and check out the other reviews for yourself, damnit, you should!

*Apologies for not including Steven Levy's piece from Wired. We saw it too late to include it in the mix.

• NYT - David Pogue
• USA Today - Ed Baig
• WSJ - Walt Mossberg
• Engadget - Josh Topolsky
• Gizmodo - Jason Chen

UPDATE: Check Out All These Other Palm Pre Reviews
• Time - Josh Quittner
• Newsweek - Dan Lyons
• PC Magazine - Sascha Segan
• Laptop - Mark Spoonauer
• SlashGear and MyPre - Vincent Nguyen
• PC World - Ginny Mies

There are so many questions I have just from the cover.

1) What the hell is a Time Banana?

2) What am I doing with a Time Banana?

3) What am I doing on a book?

4) Why am I gesturing for people to go INTO a burning village?

5) Did I take part, or just precipitate the events that lead to the burning of said village?

6) Why is it showing me with a haircut I haven't had since I was eight?

7) Why is the reflection of the town in the water a city?

8) Who is Duncan Richardson and why did he base a book on my life?

9) Why is this the best book description ever?

Mrs B has a secret. And when she says she can't succeed in her dangerous mission without him, Jason agrees to join her for a ride in her Time Banana. They travel back to the 1860s, with the Great Fire of Brisbane looming.

10) Would my book have sold better if I had called it "Jason Chen and the Time Banana"?

I need to get ahold of Duncan Richardson.

[Amazon (Kindle Version) and Amazon Regular]

Here's a screenshot of a site where you can download the eBook version of my book. And according to the site, it really is MY book. They scrubbed out any mention of Adam in the description. Suck it Pash!

My parents told me that when I was really little, I played with the actor who played Data from the Goonies and Short Round from Indiana Jones. REALLY little, as in, from a time from which I can't remember. Of course now, looking at his IMDB page, I realize he's about 10 years older than I am, so this story is probably one of three things: a lie, a misrecollection, or a super weird play date. [FNAOK via Digg]

Brian will of course still be around in his new position as editorial director, but the new title gives me a chance to help take Gizmodo from being the best written, most interesting and most readable gadget blog out there to the site that everybody—even people who are only kinda into tech—can't wait to consume every single day. Of course, there's nobody more responsible than the guys who are working here with me every day (Adam, Adrian, Benny, Chris, Dan, Dave, Elaine, Jack, Jesus, John, John, Kit, Logan, Mark, Matt, Sean and Wilson), who help make Giz my, and your, favorite place to pass the time, be entertained and be informed. How we're going to continue to do this in the future is to go beyond just covering trade shows, gadget news or even writing phenomenal features, but to expand and tap into the entire culture of what it means to be a gadget fan.

The new gig also calls for me taking on more management duties, which means you'll seldom see any more 12-post days from me unless the entire East Coast, Midwest and West Coast teams are wiped out from a sexy robot uprising. But that doesn't mean you won't see me on the site; the number one reason why Gizmodo is the best job I could ever dream of isn't because of all the cool tech we get to see, but because we get to write, and do so in the most unfiltered environment you can imagine for a publication of this size.

Here's what the news hopefully means for you: more of what you like, less of what you don't. My email's always open, so drop me a message when you've got an opinion about how we're doing. Gracias.

Some more good news: that photo above was taken when I was on vacation last week, right before I got engaged to the unlucky lady whose shoulder is the only thing remaining after I cropped the rest of her out (she's shy).

[Dilbert Strip]

Apologies to Professor Farnsworth for aping his phrase.

I am no longer proud of my Press badge.

We just got a big box of books from the publisher and proceeded to do to it what we've done to everything else we love—stick it down our pants. So yes, please buy the book and make both of our Christmases a happy one.

Oh, and thanks to everyone who pre-ordered. You should be getting your books very soon!Buy my book! [Amazon]

Namely, what's shown in the image above. No, that's not me. It's some other Jason Chen that's taken my name and is using it to whore out the Android project. The only whoring I do is for my own book, thank you very much. I thought I was the only Chen in the world. :'( [Android Developers]

This miniskirt has some shorts underneath with a pocket specially designed for your iPod, phone, or whatever else you want in there. It's got a headphone cable hole, allowing you to listen to tunes while you flash those sexy gams of yours. The company that makes it, Vickerey, also has a whole line of iPod-designed women's clothing, from Capri pants to tank tops, but this is the only one I could really picture Jason in. Also, Jason Chen wears clothes meant for ladies. –Adam Frucci

Product Page [via Crave]

Thanks Weston!

Could it be that this Australian man was inspired by our own pants-stuffing Jason Chen of Wii-down-your-pants fame? This guy seen on the video somehow fits a huge projector down his pants and then laboriously walks out of an electronics store.

Next: Tough legislation will be introduced to keep bloggers from suggesting new shoplifting methods. Not to encourage anybody or anything, but this guy actually got away with this crime. – Charlie White

How To Hide a Projector In One's Underwear [Wired Gadget Lab]

That's why the discerning iPhone user will prefer How to Do Everything with Your iPhone. It's going to be the most comprehensive iPhone guide in the multiverse (it has the word "Everything" in it, after all). Oh, and the authors of it aren't two dudes you haven't heard of. They're two dudes you love—or at least can tolerate. It's that one guy from Gizmodo (Jason Chen) and that one guy from Lifehacker (Adam Pash). So you know it's quality++.

Pre-order now and you get a free comment account on Gizmodo and Lifehacker. Not to mention our thanks for pre-ordering. Oh and we'll sign it for you if you ever find and accost us on the street. – Jason Chen

Preorder this book! [Amazon]