Gizmodo: jesus diaz

Favorite Random Food Tweets

Wilson Rothman — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:00:00 EDT

With apologies to @mattbuchanan and @jesusdiaz, my favorite random food tweeter is Jacqui Cheng from Ars. Our boys might be quicker with the pics, but hers are always way more unexpectedly (possibly even unintentionally) funny. Keep 'em coming, Jacqui. [Twitter]

My First Album

Jesus Diaz — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:20:00 EDT

Besides some Spanish groups most of you won't know—Radio Futura—David Bowie's Hunky Dory was the first album I ever remember getting. I've been listening to music through my telescopic nipple antennas since then.

I was 17. About to finish high school, drop the girlfriend who later became my first wife—yeah, first: There are more—and I couldn't stop listening to one song: Changes.

So I got Hunky Dory and discovered one of the most amazing albums I've ever listened to. From top to bottom, it's weird and wonderful and perfect.

1. Changes

2. Oh! You Pretty Things

3. Eight Line Poem

4. Life On Mars

5. Kooks

6. Quicksand

7. Fill Your Heart

8. Andy Warhol

9. Song For Bob Dylan

10. Queen Bitch

11. The Bewlay Brothers

Listening Test: It's music tech week at Gizmodo.

Foreplay Timer: Don't Get Me This Or I'll Murder Your Face

Andi Wang — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 15:00:13 EST

Just in time for Valentine's Day, here's a gadget that'll get you laid: A foreplay timer... that only lasts for three seconds. Actually, maybe you should give her roses instead. [Product Page via Nerd Approved]

Google Street View Captures Man/Woman Peeing In the Street

Jason Chen — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 18:00:00 EST

Google Street view has caught a lot of people doing a lot of things, but is this the first instance of it catching someone peeing on the street?

Here's what we think. This takes place in Madrid, Spain. Jesus frequents Madrid. This person likes peeing. Jesus is known to pee from time to time. ~~Thus, this is in fact, most definitely, Jesus Diaz. QED. I rest my case.~~ Updated: Using last-generation digital image enhancing technology, we can confirm with 100% certainty that the identity of this person is actually Señor Jason Chen himself. —JD. [Google via Street View Gallery - Thanks Mark!]

EQM - The Erectile Quality Monitor

Jason Chen — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:00:00 EST

You may think you have a powerful erection, but how do you know? The Erectile Quality Monitor is here to help.

Here are the instructions.

Once you obtain an erection via your stimuli of choice, simply place the head of the penis against the pressure sensor of the device and apply pressure towards the body for a count of 5 seconds or until the penis inflects (bends). At this point a reading will flash on one of the LED indicator lights, reflecting the quality of that erection. Use this same method each time you test to help ensure accurate results.

Basically, hold it up to your dong in order to see how strong it is. A stronger donger would mean that it bends less, a weak one means it bends more. If you have a problem, you'll be aware of it and take steps to treat it. Knowledge is power, my friends, and this thing is power.

Stay tuned for a hands on. [Fast Size]

Weekend Team Says Merry Xmas

Haroon Malik — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 01:05:00 EST

Christmas is about to roll, and the weekend team would like to take this opportunity to say thanks to all our regular readers. We hope you have a smashing Christmas, and to make sure you do, we've gone to a lot of effort. We went to the party shop and hired elf costumes, we practiced dance moves in between our rigorous posting schedule, we went to the gym, we didn't eat carbs for a month and Mark tried to touch my bum, so I stood away from him. After our great ordeal, appearing from right to left, I present to you; Jesus, Mark, Eric and I, in the fantastic Merry Xmas Elf Dance 2007. Jump for the video.

If you fancy getting yourself in on the elftastic action, follow the link. (Yes, we know it's old, but it still cracks us up). Merry Xmas, everybody. [Elf Yourself]