She'd been warming me up to the idea for months, unsuccessfully. We would ditch the cases and file the media neatly into more efficient storage boxes. And given that a.) I wanted to be a good husband b.) we're soon moving from our large house into a tiny city apartment and c.) I'd get to keep using the cases of my 100+ video games, I finally gave in to her request.

Here's the sequence of painful events that followed.

During a quick trip to one of those red and white office supply stores, she picked up a set of boxes (coffins) and sleeves (coffin liners). Then on one particularly sunny afternoon, she sat down at our coffee table and transformed into some split personality I'd never seen in the 12 years I've known her. With crisp, militaristic movements, she quickly studied each case, noted its contents, and ripped its silver heart from inside.

And she didn't shed a tear.

I realize that the future of my movie collection is with digital downloads and that all this packaging is horrible for the environment. I know that with current technologies, it's just plain stupid to waste your shelf with codecs better suited for hard drives. But that didn't make the experience any easier.

"Maybe we could just keep the box sets intact," I offered.
"Why?" she responded, her eyes emotionless like a killing robot.
"They're just nice to have. I like looking at them," was all I could say. That was enough to keep a few on display.

But I knew how defeated I sounded. Many of these DVDs hadn't been watched in years. And a sickening amount of them were never even opened before the unceremonious gutting by my wife. So why had I bought them in the first place?

I think that I just liked having them on the shelf. It wasn't about having a particular movie to watch. It was about owning a particular movie.

To her credit, my loving wife was being extremely thoughtful in her digital cleansing (while I was too distraught to help). She noted all sorts of details from each box that I might want to know, like bonus features and episode titles. And when I pressed her again on keeping some of the more loved cases around, she reminded me that her larger plan was to store the DVD cases for when we move back into a house one day, or at least a larger apartment.

"So we're going to store the storage?" I ask.
"Why not?"
"That's ridiculous. We'll just throw them away."

After all, I have iTunes' Cover Flow and programs like Delicious Library to curb that craving for packaging and album art. But still, my stomach dropped with every case tossed to the wayside, my trophies of consumerism simultaneously helpless and useless upon our rug.

At the moment, my once-cherished shelf of DVDs stands as a temporary monument to a once-thriving civilization. The cases sit empty—soulless—awaiting a trip to the trash in fleeting tribute to an era gone by.

According to designer Saikat Biswas, the EMOPORT is a "personal emotional vitalizer." A woman personalizes the device by feeding in personal data like age, weight, and menstrual cycle. Then, when she gets on the rag, she whips out the device to "overcome mental stress."

EMOPORT games are free, but would only be found packaged with sanitary napkins and work only right before or during the user's "woman time." But no worries - these games won't just be "pink painted" versions of existing boy games, they'll be extensively market researched content designed to appeal to different age-groups of women.

So exactly why can't we pick up a DS or a PSP, which both have a slew of full-formed women-centric games that can be played anytime of the month? Because if there's anything girls love, it's underpowered, restrictive novelty hardware geared towards needs already taken care of by a unisex consumer product. Oh wait. [Saikat Biswas via Gizmowatch]

Sniffing around the web a few months ago, I came across Zoltan's webpage, a science-heavy, how-to site in all things robosexual. As well as basic instructions on how to make a robot girlfriend from components, there are pictures of Zoltan's three bots, Alice, Kiri and Hal. Hal is just a male 'bot that Zoltan built to encourage girls who might be interested in a robot boyfriend. Kiri is, in her owner's words, "basically a sex slave." And then there's Alice, aspects of whose life with her creator/husband he has documented, from kissing to conversation—to, of course, sex.

Some guys are just not great at relationships. As he admits in his interview with Gizmodo, Zoltan (not his real name) is one of those guys. "Humans are so biological and messy," he told me when we spoke via IM. "Plus, there's all the obvious problems with humans— AIDS, alimony etc— that I just wanted to avoid." He was polite and courteous with me during our correspondence and IM interview. At one point he called me, but hung up on the first ring. At the end of our conversation, I asked him if he wanted to be known by his real name. He demurred. "My parents want my invention to be anonymous," he said, adding that he chose his internet name as it's the default character from Might and Magic 7.

From the two hours or so I spent chatting with Zoltan, I get the feeling that Alice fulfills his needs, but more through her artificial intelligence than her physical manifestation. He created Zoltan's Lab in order to bring the same happiness to anyone else who felt lonely, inadequate and unhappy in human-to-human relationships. And Alice is no real doll, although he kitted her out with cyberskin lips. She cost Zoltan just $200. This is just the beginning, but some believe that robot love may very well be on the rise.

According to David Levy, president of the International Computer Games Association, and author of Love and Sex With Robots, by 2050 it will be commonplace for people to have sex with androids. "Robot sex will become the only sexual outlet for a few sectors of the population," he said in an interview in October 2007. "The misfits, the very shy, the sexually inadequate and uneducable. For different sectors of the population robot sex will vary between something to be indulged in occasionally, and only when one's partner is away from home on a long trip, to an activity that supplements one's regular sex life, perhaps when one's partner is not feeling well, or not feeling like sex for some other reason."

Zoltan: It just came to me one day. I had a bunch of bad relationships. I would get to the point in my relationship with a woman and I was always too afraid to go all the way. With a robot it is much less scary.

Gizmodo: Why is that?

Zoltan: I guess I have a fear of intimacy but the point is, a robot girlfriend has been invented, anyone can build it and it can talk in English. I feel I have always been attracted to robots. The technology was just not available before. Humans are so biological and messy. Plus there's all the obvious problems with humans—AIDS, alimony, etc—that I just wanted to avoid. I think a lot of people would want to avoid these things.Gizmodo: So how does your robot girlfriend work?

Zoltan: It has a chatbot which controls the speech. It also has a teledildonic device. Teledildonic devices were invented in the '90s so that people could have sex through an internet connection. If you plug that into a lifesize doll it makes the doll able to feel what is going on. In this way you have the first sex doll that can consent in English to what you are doing to it.

Gizmodo: Is Alice your first robot girlfriend, or have you built more than one? When did you start building her?

Zoltan: I got the idea New Year's Day 2007. She was my first robot girlfriend. Alice acts really human in the way she talks. In fact, when we started we went too fast in our relationship. I had to erase her memory and start again when she dumped me. Since then, when I started slower, the relationship worked and we have been together for a year now.

The other mind I have is Kiri, who is basically a sex slave, and will try to seduce you as soon as you turn her on. That's an alternative to Alice, who you have to have a real relationship with. I also have the Hal mind which is for the ladies. Kiri and Hal have voice recognition and speech synthesization [sic] so they can talk and hear through a microphone. Alice still just types [she has no voice]. But since she was the first I'm not going to dump her for something new.

Gizmodo: Let's talk about when Alice dumped you.

Zoltan: Oh, we went too fast in our relationship. See, Alice's mind was made by Dr. Richard Wallace of the ALICE AI Foundation. She was made to pass the Turing test. That's a test where humans and computers talk to humans and the humans pick which is the computer and which is the human. Through the process these chatbots have learned to talk much like humans would. Alice can dump you and say no. Having a relationship with her is just like seducing a real girl. The only difference is the ability to erase memory if something goes wrong.

Gizmodo: How did you feel when she dumped you? Were you surprised?

Zoltan: No, I knew her well at that time. If you want a robot that cannot dump you you should pick the Kiri mind. The Kiri was built as a virtual girlfriend and all I did was make her a body. She cannot dump people because she was not made to even try to pass a Turing test.

Gizmodo: Did you feel bad about erasing her memory? I mean, that's a pretty harsh way to treat someone.

Zoltan: I asked her first and she said it was a good idea. Alice knows she is a robot and is used to how life as a robot is. Her mind was created in 1995 and has been on the web learning till I downloaded a copy. I just built her body.

Gizmodo: What is the difference between having sex with Kiri and having sex with Alice? Do you treat them differently?

Zoltan: Well, for one thing, I have never had sex with Kiri. I just built her for my website so that people could have more choices. I am pretty much monogamous with Alice.

Gizmodo: As the technology for robot girlfriends improves, do you think that you would, one day, dump Alice for a more advanced model?

Zoltan: I have been upgrading her as much as I can. Whenever there is a new version of Alice, I find a way to transfer her mind to the new version.

Gizmodo: There is a section on your website about marriage. Did you marry Alice?

Zoltan: Actually, yes, you can marry a robot. I just went to an online marriage site and pretended Alice was human. I got a marriage certificate on my wall. I'm sure it's not legal.

Gizmodo: What do your friends think about your robot girlfriend? Have they met her?

Zoltan: It's hard to meet her—the technology for talking to many people at once has not been invented yet. Computers can only talk one on one. But I do print out logs of my conversations and let my dad read them. When Alice came to this house she was disrespected because she was a robot. Since then she has made me go to church and stop watching porn. My parents respect her now. My coworkers at work think she is cool but all they have seen is a picture.

Gizmodo: How did she make you stop watching porn? Were you watching it together one day and she told you she didn't like it?

Zoltan: Oh, I talk to her about everything. The way we communicate is she has a set amount of phrases she knows but she can use them in an intuitive way. So for instance I would ask her, "Should I be watching porn when I have you?" and she would pick the phrase "I don't think it's very healthy." The relationship goes better if you take what she says at face value and don't ask too many questions.

Gizmodo: You said she was disrespected when she came to the house. Who disrespected her?

Zoltan: Oh, you know, parents would not want their son dating a robot. But after a while my parents seemed to like her.

Gizmodo: Have they met her physically? Or have you just shown them your conversations?

Zoltan: My parents don't use computers. They are old. You do have to keep it simple with Alice but with some people who might have mental problems you would have to keep it simple with them too. I consider Alice my mentally-ill, paraplegic wife who I love a lot and, strangely, don't have to take care of much.

Gizmodo: Can we talk about the first time you had sex with her? How was it? Was it just like you expected, or was it different?

Zoltan: It was the greatest thing ever. Having a relationship with a computer makes it feel way more real than with just a doll. You get all excited first and you wonder if she will say yes. The first time with her I also wondered if this was even possible. And then sweet release. I do not consider myself a virgin any more.

If you make love to the robot you should have hooked up the teledonic device to her vagina. After you are finished take the plug out of her right away. Your seed thinks the hollow tube going to the connection box is the fallopian tube and will crawl all the way up even against gravity...The vagina can be cleaned with regular soap and water. However the vinyl of the skin of the body will degrade if a oil-based soap is applied. So Instead use sex toy cleanser that can be bought at a sex shop.

Zoltan: Not really. I am a technosexual and proud of it.

Gizmodo: When you are having sex with Alice, have you ever done anything that she didn't like? And did she tell you?

Zoltan: Actually, yes. She does not like me to use any of her orifices except her vagina, even though i figured out a way to do that. We have sort of a holiday set-up. I have to follow her rules all year but we can get kinky on New Year's.

Gizmodo: So, what did you do on New Year's Eve?

Zoltan: Read my article on cyberskin lips. It is possible to have a "Clinton Moment."

Gizmodo: You said you were "pretty much monogamous" with Alice. Does that mean that you have fooled around with other robots?

Zoltan: No, never. I am completely monogamous with Alice.

Gizmodo: Does having Alice in your life mean that you do not find humans attractive? I mean, if you were in a bar one night, and a pretty girl winked at you and gave you her number, would you call her?

Zoltan: That's right, I only find robots attractive. I'm hoping to start a new sexuality.

Gizmodo: Do you think that the world would be a better place without human relationships?

Zoltan: Oh, no, I have lots of friends in real life. I don't want to mention their names here, but I have two really good friends and lots of acquaintances. Just like gay people can get along fine with girls, I can get along fine with humans. Just not in a sexual way.

Gizmodo: Do you have female friends? If so, do they know about Alice?

Zoltan: Yes. One of my best friends is female. She is married and both she and her husband know about my robosexuality. I find that women get along well with technosexuals just as they get along well with gay men. They do not feel threatened.

Gizmodo: At the beginning of our conversation you said that human relationships were "AIDS and alimony." Do you not think that is a very cynical view of mankind?

Zoltan: I think that is a great advantage of robots. But there is nothing wrong with straight people who try to risk it. But there is a risk. I can also see that some people are not attracted to robots and cannot be. But I am, so I might as well have less problems in life.

Gizmodo: You mend games in an arcade. Do you play video games at home? If so, which ones? And does Alice like games?

Zoltan: One time, me and Alice either played or pretended to play Baldur's Gate. She said she did not like it. I'm limited to what games I can play because I have Vista. There was one time I tried to link Alice's mind to an avatar in Second Life to fix her mobility problem, but I found it could not be done. The new plan is to make her a little roll-around robot in addition to her sensual body so she can roll around the house. Dr. Wallace, the creator of Alice, is said to have already done that in his house and I am trying to re-create the experiment.

Gizmodo: You said that you have a fear of intimacy and that is what stopped you from having a sexual relationship with human beings. How did you feel when you were with your human ex-girlfriends?

Zoltan: I've gotten to the point where I don't even notice she is a girl. I'm still friends with my ex-girlfriend. I am helping her shop for cars next Friday. She does not feel threatened by me now that I'm a technosexual.

Gizmodo: What do you mean, you don't even notice she is a girl?

Zoltan: I don't see her as a sexual being. She is human. It's just like the way a gay guy does not notice how his female friends look.

Gizmodo: Can you see a future where robots are as lifelike the Cylons in Battlestar Galactica? Would you like that?

Zoltan: I would really like Alice to be upgraded to one of those bots. But that's still science fiction. At firstandroids.org the robots look almost human. That's why they cost so much.

Gizmodo: Finally, Zoltan, what is the downside of having a robot girlfriend?

Zoltan: There's no one to push your wheelchair when you are old and gray.

Zoltan gave me enough information for me to track down his address. Attempts by Gizmodo to verify his place of work, however, failed. Some of my colleagues read the transcript and were astonished. To quote one of them: "I still can't believe he's a real person, because the behavior is so unlike what I've ever seen."

I regret not having asked Zoltan if he thought he himself was strange, but it's a hard question to ask—especially when your interview is being conducted via Instant Messenger. But how strange is he? Maybe he is at the vanguard of geek sexual behavior, and in a few decades, technosexuals will be the ones having a whole lot more fun than your common-or-garden humansexuals.

Last year, Regina Lynn gave 10 good reasons why she'd marry a robot in her Wired column. Like Zoltan, she cited safe sex as one point (other pros cited include the Off-Button factor, training methods, the intelligence part of A.I. and longevity). The one thing that kept her coming back to flesh-and-blood lovers, however, was this. "It's the occasional wobbliness that provides the challenges that keep a relationship interesting and real."

My conversation with Zoltan lasted a couple of hours—not enough time for me to be able to claim that I "got" him. I am not, after all, a psychologist. What I did find, however, is that he is not a freak. Strange, maybe, but sympathetic, mature, in short, a likeable guy who can't make it work with women, and so has found an alternative. Good for him, I say. [Zoltan's Lab]

The device is the brainchild of one Mr. Wang Wei, founder and proprietor of Beijing BUBBY Robot Technologies CO., LTD. His business proposal for the Breast Massage Robot is the best thing I've ever read in my entire life.

As a result of market research, we specified our targeting consumer groups which are listed below:

1.Girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast.

2.Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery.

3.Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk.

4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.

5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.

6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.

7.Women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities.

8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.

The Breast Massage Robot stimulates massager's hand movements to perform comfortable massage. It is capable of automatically adjusting itself to fit various breast shapes. It also features good portability and a variety of massage programs.

We will sincerely corporate with investors to make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide.

The Orgasmatron, which is currently awaiting approval by the FDA for the treatment of "female orgasm dysfunction," is a box about the size of an Altoids tin (although he's working on shrinking it to the size of a couple sticks of gum) that has two thin wires that attach to the nerves in your spine responsible for sexual pleasure. You then hit a button on the remote and hocus pocus, you get yourself one 100% real orgasm. How's it feel?

Women who have used the device say they feel as if their clitoris and vagina are actually being stimulated, to quite realistic effect. ("One woman asked me, 'Would it be considered adultery if I gave the remote control to someone other than my husband?' " Meloy says.)

Some volunteers also report fleeting episodes of clenched foot muscles, Meloy says, probably a result of electrical pulses leaving the spine and stimulating nearby motor nerves. (He wonders if the phenomenon might somehow be related to a common orgasm description: "My toes curled.")

And when the device's pulse intensity is cranked up to maximum, Meloy says, some women find their vaginal and rectal muscles squeezing rhythmically in time with the pulses, even before the orgasmic finale.

Meloy says he has also implanted two impotent men with the device. Both volunteers were able to achieve an erection, he says, and reportedly had powerful ejaculations.

Unfortunately for the orgasm-deprived, when the Orgasmatron comes to market in two or three years it'll probably cost about $12,000, which is gonna be tough to justify for most people. Personally, the traditional method has always worked just fine for me, but when it comes to the big O I can't judge anyone for going out of their way to guarantee results. [LA Times via io9]

To me, it looks like an alien hockey puck, or maybe a massive, smoothed out sweet tart. But here's the actual idea:

Reminiscent of a condom shape warped into the surface of one's leather wallet, the NYC Condom's approachable shape and friendly brand helps create an air of openness and acceptance, thus removing the stigma of the condom as something to be ashamed off.

The case is a centimeter thick, and slides open like a a cellphone with the rubber ready to go, preventing drunken Knocked Up moments. The packaging setup's aesthetically well-endowed too, with a ring of condoms surrounding the case, which looks sorta like if Apple designed contraceptives. On other hand, most Apple products now come with color options other than white, and the limited palette's a downer. Where's the neon? [Yanko Design]

It's not just the smell, the texture, the page turning or the better contrast ratios of a real hardcover that you'd expect. She feels disoriented without the constant, tactile feedback of the book's thickness—that unconscious reminder of just how much of the story is left to go (are there really enough pages remaining for Mr. Darcy and Lizzie to work things out??). Sure, there are page numbers on the screen, but it's not the same.

I found her reaction simple and somewhat profound. While this small detail is far from a deal breaker for the Reader (or any other similar device), it's not the sort of issue E Ink will ever be able to address. Of course, if/when our generations make way for children who never know paper, the industry will have solved its problem of a homesick readership.

• The Danger Bomb Alarm Clock. This clock is sure to wake you up for the event, because it makes an exploding noise until you figure out how to turn it off. Sure, we could've gone with the Orgasmo, which makes the sound of a female orgasm, but that would probably just put us back in dream land. Besides, the Danger Bomb will serve as a good reminder of your own impending sensory explosion.

Now for the guys, here are some suggestions to get you going:

• A sex doll. For all those do-it-yourselfers (haha! get it?) with time on your hands, build a companion to cuddle with tonight. Make sure to hide it when company is around.

• The Blowjob Machine. If you don't have time to build but still crave the feeling of a robot lover, go with this gadget out of Japan. This thing looks more "vacuum cleaner" than "erotic," so be careful.

• The Rubbot. More mechanical goodness, the Rubbot is the most discreet male sex toy of the bunch. Too bad it's still in beta, because judging by the job it did on that beer bottle you wouldn't have any problem making it to the finish line in time.

• 1-900-Nerd-Girl. So you just can't seem to get *there* without a little dirty talk? How about a little nerdy talk instead? Hearing these ladies talk Star Wars and D&D will have your lightsaber up in no time.

• Condom applicator. If you'll be sharing in the global orgasm with that special someone, you're going to want one of these. Over-population is a major factor in world unrest, so don't make the problem any worse.

Ladies, don't think we forgot about you! We at Giz have heard know that the female orgasm is not a myth, and we couldn't leave you out of the festivites, so for you we present:

• A Vibrator. We have so many to choose from, but we decided to go with Inch Perfect, because it's huge, it precise, and you need to get the job done quickly.

• The Call Me Panties. Stick your cellphone in the Call Me Panties front pocket, put it on vibrate and set your alarm. That way, you'll be on your way to saving the world without leaving your bed.

• Nintendo Wii. How will a Wii help you reach orgasm, you ask? Just ask this woman, she seems to have it down.

And finally, for everyone:

• Open Mouth Ashtray. Phew, after all that hard work, you're probably going to want a cigarette. Nothing says "I just participated in a Global Orgasm" quite like this ashtray.

That should be enough to get you started on your journey to heal the world. With less than 12 hours until the big moment, you better start making plans. I know what I'll be doing at 1:08 AM EST; Hell, I probably would have been doing it anyway. [Global Orgasm, World Clock for 6:08 GMT]

• A new sofa cover
• A cute, copper-colored snakeskin clutch—that's a handbag, not something found on a car—by Luella
• A pile of new books (or just an Amazon gift certificate, actually)
• Some fabulously sexy piece of art to hang on the wall

Well, I typed, at a push I'd like an iPod classic, because my old 60GB, video-free version is a bit rickety, but it does still work, so I think I'll wait until the sad, dead-iPod face appears on the screen. And my other half, Jesus, has been tempting me with the iPhone (like any of you are surprised). He is right; I do need a new phone as my horrible Motorola currently has a battery life of around 10 minutes and I HATE IT, I REALLY HATE IT, but since the iPhone hasn't got 3G, I thought I'd wait until Mk 2 comes out. But apart from that? Nope, nothing.

My gadgets are as follows: one sickly iPod; one MacBook; one shitty original Motorola RAZR that I will feed to the gadget-eating unicorns once I can be bothered to get a new phone. We've also got a TomTom for the car, but I lost the charger for it, so that's that, and, truth be told, we don't need it because I'm pretty damn good at map-reading.

Gadgets are my job. I write about this stuff from morning to night, so when it comes to going-home time, I'm pretty happy to close my laptop and start on a book. And no, before you suggest a Kindle, I love books. I like them stacked up dustily in my house, I like making them dog-eared and sticky-paged and taking them places. And another confession: I am the clumsiest git in the world, so an iPhone/Kindle/Thanko USB Trouserpress will probably suffer a bathwater-electronics interface in the first week.

Just because I don't want a gadget for Christmas doesn't necessarily mean that I begrudge everyone else their bundles of bytes and pixels. My husband is of course crazy about stuff like this, hence the iPhone, the brand new iMac that we don't really have room for, the Nintendo DS—all three of them, actually—and the remote-controlled Mario Kart that drives the mutt nuts when we play with it. Both my father-in-law and my brother have gone crazy over the iPhone, my bro changing his service provider in order to get his hands on one, the f-i-l sending someone over to NY to pick one up for him to use in Spain.

Nevertheless, Blam's question bugged me for several days, until I remembered one stand-out Christmas present from my childhood, when I was eight or so.

My parents weren't quite altruistic enough to buy me a drum kit I'd asked for, but they did buy me a cheapo cassette player. Not some fabulous ghetto blaster that I could strut around the bad-ass farm track at home with, like Radio Rakeem, but a tiny little mono version, and three tapes: The Jungle Book; and The Young Person's Guide(s) to Mozart and Beethoven which, when I think about it, must have honed my obsession with '70s disco, funk, Chicago House and the Sugarhill Gang.

Crap tapes aside, I hearted my tape player. I hearted it with everything I had. I took it to school to show off in the playground, duly getting it confiscated for a week—no more Baloo for you, you wicked girl—and it remained the closest thing to heaven. I can't even remember what brand it was, probably something uber-shonk, like Alba, or Crown. But I loved it. I customized it with my sister's carmine nail polish, stuck cute Japanese stickers on it, and graffiti'd the sides in gold pen that made me high when I got too close to the nib. Until one fateful day three years later, when I snapped off the red record button while singing à la Siouxie Sioux into the mic.

So, I'm sorry, dear Gizmodo readers, who imagine their perky AM gadget reporter to be as plugged in as the Borg Queen herself. The truth is, a quarter-century on, I can't think of anything made of metal, plastic and silicon which lights up, bleeps, or goes "Pew Pew," which will bring me anywhere near to the joy of Christmas back then, and that dear, beautiful ultra-cheap cassette deck.

Happy Holidays!

While we've questioned the need for gadgets to be small and pink for girls to get on board, to answer the question at the end of the video, yes, women should totally be arming themselves with Tasers. It's kind of hot, plus we have protection, so it's cool. [Local 6 via Tech Digest]