<![CDATA[Gizmodo: judge]]> http://tags.gizmodo.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gizmodo.com.png <![CDATA[Gizmodo: judge]]> http://gizmodo.com/tag/judge http://gizmodo.com/tag/judge <![CDATA[Darth Vader Given Arrest Warrant, Pleads Guilty to Assault]]> After Darth Vader kicked a Jedi Master's ass with the Dark Side of the Crutch, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant against the Lord of the Sith. After dictating it, he added: "I hope the force will soon be with him" (really—God save the Judge, Queen, and English humor.) Vader arrived later, pleading guilty to assault. During the trial, however, the court found that the events weren't exactly as we were initially told: the Jedis were actually even more moronic than previously imagined.

To start with, dork n mero uno—hairdresser Barney Jones—wasn't being interviewed for a documentary on the first Jedi Church of England. He was filming himself, "fighting" with "lightsabers" in the garden, probably while being watched by Yoda, Mace Windu, Obi Wan, and the rest of their imaginary pals, who actually were the only ones with actual girlfriends in the backyard at the time.

Vader, whose real name is not Anakin Skywalker but Arwel Wynne Hughes, pleaded guilty, saying in his defense that he had a "chronic alcohol problem" and he didn't remember anything at all. According to the two Joneses, however, Hughes jumped in the gardent shouting "DARTH VADER," wielding a metal crutch, wearing a helmet, a black bin bag, a cape, and with a lot of wine in his stomach. Laughing—presumably hysterically, like anyone would do after consuming "the best part of a 10-litre box of wine"—he proceeded to bang Barney Jones on the head, before smacking the thigh of family nerd cousin, Michael Jones.

With almost a box of wine in his body, Vader didn't remember a single thing, but his defense attorney said alcohol was "ruining his life." On the other side, the prosecution added that the two cousins "believe very strongly in the church and their religion."

We can only hope the judge will set Vader free and put those two in jail. [BBC News]


NEVER GETS OLD. I say.

]]> http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=383585&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Judge Rules Making Files 'Available' Doesn't Constitute Copyright Violation]]> A Boston judge has just followed up on the previous NY judge ruling that just making files available isn't enough to constitute copyright infringement. According to the EFF, it's the most "extensive analysis yet of the recording industry's 'making available' argument", but doesn't actually make things better for people who are being sued by the RIAA. The same judge ruled that even though the "offer to distribute" won't be enough to decide a case, it is enough to permit a lawsuit to move forward. On the other hand, another NY judge has ruled in the opposite manner, that making an "offer to distribute" could violate copyright, even if nobody downloaded whatever you put up. [EFF via Boing Boing]

]]> http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=376190&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[New York Judge Who Jailed Everyone in Court for a Ringing Cellphone Is Removed From the Bench]]> A New York judge who jailed all 46 people in his courtroom after someone's mobile phone went off has lost his job. The chairman of the State Commission on Judicial Conduct has recommended that Judge Robert Restaino be removed from the bench, three years after the incident, which was described as "two hours of inexplicable madness."

Back in March 2005, Judge Restaino was presiding over a domestic violence case in Niagara Falls when the offending cell rang. "Every single person is gong to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now" raged Restaino. "If anybody believes I'm kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going."

After security guards were unable to find the phone, the judge ordered the arrest of every single person in the courtroom. Bail was set at $1,500 and everyone was carted off to Niagara City jail. Those who could not stump up the money were later shackled and taken to another prison. It was not until reporters started asking questions a couple of hours later that the judge relented and released the 46.

He later described his behavior as "improper and inexcusable" and blamed it on his private life, saying that he was under much stress at the time. Judge Restaino has 30 days to appeal against the decision, and will remain in office until that time. [BBC News]

]]> http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=327380&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Why You Should Turn Off Your Cellphones In A Courtroom]]> cellphonethrow.jpgA judge got so pissed when an elderly woman's cell went off that he stepped down from his seat, ordered her to hand the phone over, and chucked it out into the hall. The phone was, of course, broken when the woman went to go get it. After that, the judge wanted the deputies to confiscate all cellphones in the room.

I mean sure, you may get pissed that cellphones are going off, but if you're a judge, you probably shouldn't be acting like a jerk on the job. Best of all was his non-apology after the incident. "I regret that I had to take such severe measures." That's pretty much telling a guy you punched "I'm sorry your face got in the way of my fist." – Jason Chen

Judge shows just how much he hates cell phones [CNET]

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