As an Amish person (Mennonite, actually), I gotta say this thing looks awesome. It's the ultimate infomercial cooking machine: makes stews, soups, one pot meals, everything, while you prance around your kitchen and rave to your dinner guests about what a joy it is to use - and how easy it is to clean! - in an English accent. #kenwoodcookingchef
@OMG! Ponies!: you have to admit though, the inclusion of a heating element is pretty clever. One of the kitchen tasks I find most tiresome is stirring over heat - I'm a kitchen multitasker and I like to have a bunch of things going at once, but if I have to stir something (for instance, reducing sauces etc) I can't really do that. So I'd definitely consider one of these, provided of course that it was made by KitchenAid and that it didn't cost $1500. #kenwoodcookingchef
@weatherman: Well, I now need a bigger stove. Because I just got a giant two-burner cast-iron grill (that my mom bought from some flea market), a cast-iron grill skillet, and a big cast-iron stock pot (also from a flea market).
This is in addition to my Le Creuset enamelware cast-iron, my cast-iron griddle, my iron smoker and my trusty skillet.
So, I need at least 6 burners.
(yes, most of my kitchen technology is of the sort that has been available for a millenium - iron and rendered pork fat) #kenwoodcookingchef
I agree. Especially with risotto that requires a great deal of attention. I love technology and would normally embrace it but I would never buy this. I can cook and would never trust anything to automate the process. #kenwoodcookingchef
@tawnie is waving: So when you slaughter your cow and roast it in that open pit in your cave, you've never once been tempted to buy an oven, a toaster, a microwave, a rice cooker, a blender, an electric mixer, an ice cream machine, or a sous vide immersion circulator? #kenwoodcookingchef
This will go great in my giant Martian glass chronograph emo-palace. I will spend eons stroking my giant blue wang while listening to avant-garde minimalist compositions on it.
Unfortunately, I will still be such a tool that it will be plugged into an iPod. And my girlfriend, upon seeing this, will tell me that I can go eat all the dicks.
Interference prevents me from seeing whether I, in fact, do eat all the dicks.
@Lite: does not like fishsticks...: No. There is no difference. Swine are no different from people or amoeba. It is only an accident of time that prevents them from bringing up their cud.
Besides, I no longer consume food. And even if I did, what I have become proves, if anything, that there is no god. There are no gods. There is only time and matter. If you will excuse me, I must find the bag which holds the dicks that Laurie told me I could eat. I wish to find out if I am still even capable of eating, which Laurie's statement appears to indicate I can.
@OMG! Ponies!: Years of tachyon research, years of toil and sacrifice to bring the Carnac to fruition, countless lives teetering on the brink of destruction with only a crucial stroke to decide if they should topple over into the chasm of death, to see if you can, in fact, eat all the dicks.
It's the avatars...if there is such a thing. I can see, your stink. And every time I do I feel that somehow I've been infected by it. It's repulsive, isn't it?
@OMG! Ponies!: I had initially considered the squid, but ultimately abandoned it, since a giant tentacled monster with a face reminiscent of a human vagina would immediately point blame at the Japanese. I couldn't afford the risk, so made the appropriate changes. You understand, don't you?
@Kaiser-Machead: It seems that you've been living two lives. One life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you... help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the Gizmodo alias "Kaiser-Machead" and are guilty of virtually every thread meme crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.
You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe you are special, that somehow the bag of dick eating rules do not apply to you. Obviously, you are mistaken.
@Lite: does not like fishsticks...: You have many comments, and despite your screening process, you remain irrevocably human, ergo some of my comments you will understand, and some you will not. Concurrently while your first response to me may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
The trial never ends. We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind to new horizons. And for one brief moment, you did. For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. *That* is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of eating a bag of dicks.
@Kaiser-Machead: Three years ago I said we'd be watching you, and we have been. Hoping that your ape-like commenting would demonstrate *some* growth, give *some* indication that your minds have room for expansion.
But what have we seen instead? You... worrying about 92Buick LeSabre's career? Listening to Frigg's pedantic psychobabble? Indulging GitEmSteveDave in his witless exploration of commenting?
You have no *idea* how far you still have to go. But instead of using the last three years to change and to grow, you have squandered them. Which is why we've decided you can eat a bag of dicks.
I'd imagine these are already out there, but I wonder if it's going to use that technology that sends out a focused beam of sound - you can't really hear it well when it's not pointed at you, but if you get in front of it you hear it fully, and if it hits something, it sounds like the sound is coming from the point of impact. In theory that could turn your back wall into a pair of virtual speakers...
What does "surround sound" even mean if it's coming out of two speakers (that are, by the way, so close together it's basically one speaker anyway)? Are they shifting phase to create a wider stereo spread?
True surround sound is when you can wallpaper your room with thousands of tiny membranes that literally surround you with direct sound from all directions, and can replicate virtual acoustic reflections of any room.
10/15/09
10/15/09
10/15/09
And because they kick ass. (if only I could rationalize buying one) #kenwoodcookingchef
10/15/09
10/15/09
This is in addition to my Le Creuset enamelware cast-iron, my cast-iron griddle, my iron smoker and my trusty skillet.
So, I need at least 6 burners.
(yes, most of my kitchen technology is of the sort that has been available for a millenium - iron and rendered pork fat) #kenwoodcookingchef
10/15/09
10/15/09
10/15/09
04/17/09
Unfortunately, I will still be such a tool that it will be plugged into an iPod. And my girlfriend, upon seeing this, will tell me that I can go eat all the dicks.
Interference prevents me from seeing whether I, in fact, do eat all the dicks.
04/17/09
04/17/09
Besides, I no longer consume food. And even if I did, what I have become proves, if anything, that there is no god. There are no gods. There is only time and matter. If you will excuse me, I must find the bag which holds the dicks that Laurie told me I could eat. I wish to find out if I am still even capable of eating, which Laurie's statement appears to indicate I can.
04/17/09
04/17/09
For that, I am ashamed.
04/17/09
Just remember, that if you become the evil overlord you will not try to consume a bag of dicks that is bigger than your head.
04/17/09
Eating all the dicks after the subtraction of the transdimensional squid from the movie was the first trick I learned.
04/17/09
It's the avatars...if there is such a thing. I can see, your stink. And every time I do I feel that somehow I've been infected by it. It's repulsive, isn't it?
04/17/09
04/17/09
You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe you are special, that somehow the bag of dick eating rules do not apply to you. Obviously, you are mistaken.
04/17/09
04/17/09
The trial never ends. We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind to new horizons. And for one brief moment, you did. For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. *That* is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of eating a bag of dicks.
04/17/09
But what have we seen instead? You... worrying about 92Buick LeSabre's career? Listening to Frigg's pedantic psychobabble? Indulging GitEmSteveDave in his witless exploration of commenting?
You have no *idea* how far you still have to go. But instead of using the last three years to change and to grow, you have squandered them. Which is why we've decided you can eat a bag of dicks.
02/23/09
02/22/09
True surround sound is when you can wallpaper your room with thousands of tiny membranes that literally surround you with direct sound from all directions, and can replicate virtual acoustic reflections of any room.