Berg is the world-record holder of pretty much every house-of-cards award there is, and this hotel suite is his only full-size (meaning scaled to people size) project to date. It's not a functioning hotel room—we're pretty sure that toilet could actually handle the duties of a real toilet—but it'll stay constructed until the end of the weekend as a gallery or large-scale art piece. [Daily Mail, thanks Billy!]

Using a 3D printer and a high-resolution image of the official handcuff key of the Dutch police, Ray, an SSDev member, printed a functional handcuff key. Scary and awesome at the same time. Best of all? You can get all the details on printing your own on his site. [ke.y.nu via BlackBag via Make]

Glued and screwed to a vintage mahogany tray, these doll limbs have transcended from merely looking adorable to the highest role a toy stolen from your sister can hold: a barbaric craft project. The Hooktastic Holdall, available for $50, is tough enough to hold your coat, innocent enough to avoid the trashcan and repulsive enough to keep neighbors at bay. Run, don't walk, for the one unit in stock. [Etsy via 7Gadgets]

Now you can savor victory not once, but two times: when your opponent tosses the set off the board and when you pick it back up with the pieces intact and smugly say "checkmate" and "suck it loser." Each piece of the board is represented as a skeleton key that fits snugly into a a lock on the board. Theoretically, this should "lock in" your move in more ways than one. The only problem is that is currently only a concept from designer Dave Pickett. [Dave Pickett Flickr via The Awesomer via Craziest Gadgets]

The $5.99 plastic, water-tight sprinkler head comes with a screw-on top, and although it looks quite realistic, it won't keep your begonias alive. Even so, it seems a lot safer than hiding it in a potted plant or even more obviously, under your doormat. Or you can do what I did in college—tuck your key behind a black widow's web and hope anyone looking to get in is afraid of spiders. [Product Page via BBG]

I'm a huge Scrabble geek, so it's great to see such a great mod made out of the 2nd-greatest board game of all time (sorry, Scrabble, but Apples to Apples is #1 in my book). The USB keyboard is really beautifully made, with aluminum accents to match the Mac it'll be paired with. Go Scrabble!
[Datamancer]

The idea is that teenagers are both bad drivers and stupid, so they are the most likely group to text while driving over the speed limit. This may be true! But is this the best solution? I mean, aren't there times where you'd want your kid to have access to their phone in the car? Like if they get into an accident? Or get kidnapped? Or need directions? Or any number of other situations? This system gives the kids access to 911 and a preset number, like the parents' phone number, but still.

It just seems too extreme for me. How about raising smart kids and teaching them to drive well? Too much work? Ah, screw it, we'll just invent our way out of decent parenting. [PhysOrg]

Keyhole Surgery is Operation reinvented for lockpick enthusiasts. You view a 3D schematic of the lock on the computer, then try to guide the key through the maze of tumblers without striking the walls. He who has the least mistakes wins. He who has the most mistakes will require a good lawyer.

A concept for now, if you really like the device, we're sure some perceptive, agile manufacturer will come around to borrow the idea soon enough. [Moritz Waldemeyer via bbGadgets]

“The program is simple. You have to click on the photo to tell it where the top of the key is, and a few other control points. From here, it normalizes the key’s size and position. Since each pixel then corresponds to a set distance, it can accurately guess the height of each of the key cuts,” explained Benjamin Laxton, the first author on the paper who recently earned his Master’s degree in computer science from UC San Diego.

The researchers have not released their code to the public, but they claim that anyone with a decent working knowledge of MatLab and computer vision techniques could create a similar system without much difficulty. Their suggestion: treat your keys like you would a credit card.

Thanks for giving us all one more thing to worry about guys. [Sneakey via USCD via Slashdot]

We wanted to write and let you know that we sincerely appreciate the patience you have shown in receiving your Keyport. While innovative design and quality craftsmanship are certainly tenets to which Keyport is steadfastly committed, it is our customers who serve as Keyport's foundation, and your satisfaction is our top priority. Therefore, we would like to refund your money in its entirety and hold on to your keys. Once we have completed the final design modifications, we will send you your new Keyport Slide. After you receive it, you may pay us what you think is appropriate. We intend on earning your trust and delivering what we have promised. Again, thank you for your patience over this long haul. We look forward to your feedback once you have received your Slide. In the meantime, please let us know if you have any further questions or concerns.

On the same note, they've had my keys since December but haven't actually shipped anything to me yet. They're very lax in return emails as well. It's sad to say this since the Keyport is such a good idea, but you should probably stay away from these guys until they get their manufacturing, shipping, and customer support issues down. [Thanks Josh!]

Hopefully the keyport people don't take a page from the Optimus' book and gimp the lower-end version so hard that it's essentially worthless. Adding on keys to a keyboard is pretty lame, but adding on keys to a keychain is, well, just as lame. Most of you wouldn't pay $300 for something that consolidates six of your keys into one gadget, but would you pay $50? We would. We'd probably pay even more if they could make one of the keys a knife. Stabby stabby. [Key-Port]

On the other hand, this thing seems fantastic for bikes. Unlike regular keychains that scratch up your finish when you leave them dangling from the ignition, the Keyport sticks straight up and out. We don't ride one ourselves (we like our brains on the inside of our skulls) and can't tell you if this is really great, but it seems fairly easy to break off your key inside of the bike this way. [Keyport]

.

The unit programmed to that number will then start to make a noise that, "gets louder the closer you get to it." Just like any other noise would do then, really. A set of two FOFAs is $24.95, and additional units are $12.47 each. If you're really dedicated to never losing your keys again, then you could splash out for the $99 Loc8tor handset, which will track down up to 24 fobs. [Inventor Spot]