Your Baby's Klout Score Is in the 25th Percentile

As you know, we took a lot of measurements this morning—height, weight, head circumference—and in most respects, your baby is doing great. There's just one thing, and it's not necessarily something to be concerned about, but we do need to talk about it: Your baby's Klout score is in the 25th percentile. » 4/08/14 12:00pm 4/08/14 12:00pm

Evidence That Klout Doesn't Make Sense, Visualized

Social influence-ranking service Klout is an odd thing indeed: it thinks Blackberry users are more important than Android Users, but believes our very own Kyle Wagner is a good mom, too. In truth, its rankings don't intuitively seem to make much sense—and here's some evidence that supports that statement. » 7/18/12 7:19am 7/18/12 7:19am

Kill Me If I Klout

Klout is dumb. It can convince people that our very own Kyle Wagner is a good mom (he's not). It is objectively the worst way to match people up on dating websites. Its measures of impact are close to meaningless. It's time to cast off Klout. » 5/18/12 5:58am 5/18/12 5:58am

Internet Nobodies Aren't Allowed Inside This VIP Lounge

In terms of social status and celebrity, the internet can do a lot for a person. It can afford book deals to dogs, and it can turn a shrill teenager into a Billboard chart-topper. » 5/09/12 10:00pm 5/09/12 10:00pm

How to Tell if You (Or Someone You Know) Are a Twitter Assclown

You know Klout. It gathers your social media data to measure your influence. But Klout is dumb. Klout makes people think I am a good mom. But what if you could mine social data to tell you how insufferable any given person is on Twitter? That sounds a good deal more fun. » 4/27/12 1:20pm 4/27/12 1:20pm

Not a Joke: New Dating Site Matches You Based On Your Klout Score

Finally! A dating site to match awful self-promoting know-it-alls to one another. Tawkify, the latest online romance-finding tool puts people together based on their Klout scores. » 4/16/12 8:00pm 4/16/12 8:00pm

Can A Dumb Social Media Tool Turn This Chump Into the Internet's Top…

There are a lot of services that purport to measure your online influence. Klout, Kred, and PeerIndex will slice and dice your social media presence, and turn you into a number. The higher your number, they argue, the more influential you are. It's bullshit. But it's bullshit that's increasingly accepted a serious… » 3/28/12 3:20pm 3/28/12 3:20pm

Blackberry Users Are More Important than iPhone or Android Users

Social influence-ranking service Klout released some interesting numbers yesterday showing BlackBerry users are more influential than Android or iPhone users. Take that, you smug RIM-hating jerks. » 8/09/11 2:40pm 8/09/11 2:40pm