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Posts Tagged “

large hadron collider

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to be continued

LHC Ignition Delayed Until August, Earth Spared Another Month

The scientists at CERN's Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland have decided to delay the ignition of the massive particle accelerator. The LHC countdown now shows 30 more days, so you can enjoy July to its full potential. In case you don't know what a Large Hadron Collider is, it's the thingamajig that is supposed to find the Force that binds all things or—according to some morons—was supposed to kill us all yesterday. Wait, hold on a moment here. Maybe they activated it. Maybe the first collision created a white hole that sucked the whole Universe in, and we got back in time. More »

7:15 AM on Tue Jul 8 2008
By Jesus Diaz
5,649 views, 57 comments

Latest by n/a: Quote: "LHCfacts.org guys are wackos..." Really, check out their credentials yourself, Dr. Rossler is even featured in a Wikipedia article devoted to his achievements. Speaking of Wikipedia, there is a good article about censorship at Wikipedia, preventing published peer reviewed papers from more »

the end

Best Fireworks Ever Not Happening Today but in Three Days

If you think you are going to see some cool fireworks today, just wait three more days. Because we just checked the countdown and that's when the Large Hadron Collider will be activated in Geneva, Switzerland. Then we all will enjoy the mother of all fireworks. Well, not us, but the aliens, Tom Cruise, Elvis and the rest of what's left of the Universe. So enjoy your weekend, my friends (you conspiracy morons of the world included) because life is too short, even if the LHC doesn't destroy the galaxy. [LHC Countdown]

9:00 AM on Fri Jul 4 2008
By Jesus Diaz
5,700 views, 27 comments

Latest by Human Bomb: Large Hadron Collider? I 'ardly knew 'er! Sorry, Just getting back from the weekend... Did the world end? *Looks outside* Maybe. more »

The End Is Not Near

Report Confirms Large Hadron Collider Will Not Spawn Doomsday Scenario, End World As We Know It

A new report from CERN allegedly puts the final nail in the coffin of doomsday theorists claiming the Large Hadron Collider will result in a reality-ending black hole on Earth. In a word, the report calls the project "safe," and reiterates CERN's original argument that even the most powerful collisions planned for the LHC are nothing compared to what nature has done already for billions of years. "The universe as a whole conducts more than 10 million million LHC-like experiments per second. The possibility of any dangerous consequences contradicts what astronomers see - stars and galaxies still exist," said a layperson's summary of the report. Conspiracy theorists will no doubt keep on keeping on about the LHC, regardless of the report, but for the more level-headed amongst us, there's a certain finality to CERN's findings. Not end-of-the-world finality, mind you, just peace of mind. The countdown timer says 16 days until activation. [Cosmic Log]

8:00 PM on Sat Jun 21 2008
By Jack Loftus
11,989 views, 183 comments

Latest by johnnyabnormal: @doobiebros22: You're buying. You don't need all that cash with the Rapture comin' soon! more »

the end

Final Countdown for Large Hadron Collider Activation, Prepare Your Escape Pods

Worried about the Large Hadron Collider destroying the Solar System in a big ball of fire and Z particles? Then stop fracking whining about it and go to the LHC Countdown page. Just 26 days to the end of the world, folks. Time to start looting. [LHC Countdown]

12:30 PM on Wed Jun 11 2008
By Jesus Diaz
20,014 views, 118 comments

Latest by n/a: @Costermonger: The same did the Heaven's Gate people and the reborn as Bill Gates. more »

spam

Spammer Keeps Whining About Large Hadron Collider Assploding

Dear Moron Physicist Who Can't Write Proper English,

I hope you are right about CERN's Large Hadron Collider exploding and destroying the whole frikkin' universe in a big fiery ball of antimatter, neutrons and Higgs bosons.

That way we won't have to try and decipher your spam any more.

Yours Sincerely,
j.

P.S. Check out MIT Center for Theoretical Physics' admin answer to this guy after the jump. Apparently he doesn't only spam via email, but calls and harasses people everywhere and leaves messages on answering machines.
P.P.S. Stop sending mail, you psycho.
P.P.P.S. Can someone at Google shut down this spammer's Gmail account at once? Thanks.


More »

7:00 AM on Wed May 21 2008
By Jesus Diaz
29,597 views, 140 comments

Latest by Joe_Bagadonuts: @Git Em SteveDave's G3 hearts a certain MBP: + Watch video more »

lhc

CERN to Morons: Large Hadron Collider Won't Destroy Earth. Morons.

Contrary to the somewhat feverish claims laid out in an recent lawsuit, when our favorite particle-smashing, Force-finding Large Hadron Collider is switched on soon it will not result in the destruction of life as we know it. Such claims are "complete nonsense" say the scientists at CERN (and everywhere else,) in response to the suit. They should know: it's their machine, they designed it and they've been telling everyone for a while that their research shows it's safe. More »

11:28 AM on Mon Mar 31 2008
By Kit Eaton
56,735 views, 124 comments

Latest by n/a: Oh yeah cause being sucked up by a black hole cause some idiots thought that it wouldnt is the first thing on my to do list. Hello? Murphys law "anything that can go wrong will." so some bastard is going more »