I mean, the manual for the ride-on lawnmower did not specifically state that you couldn't raise it up with a crane to trim the top of a very large hedge, so that's just what two lunatics from Cambridge New Zealand did.

"The mower was doing an all-right job, but I reckon it would work better on a hedge that's not so spiky."

Maybe they need one of those Zero-Turn mowers with a larger cutting deck instead of a basic lawn tractor. Yeah, that's the problem with this whole setup. [Stuff NZ via Fark]

The manufacturer says that their Cub Cadet Force S is the first zero-turn riding mower with a steering wheel instead of bars. That's something that I'm sure will turn on many lawn mowing aficionados. I just want to ride it through Central Park and write "ALIENS, LAND HERE" on Sheep Meadow. [Cub Cadet via Uncrate]

The best part of this the Panthera Leo mower isn't the electric-powered design, or the recyclable materials it's made of. No, it's the LCD monitor and sensors, which work together to tell you what speed and height you should mow at, plus inform you when you're on too steep a hill or about to hit an object. And the mower lasts two hours on a single charge.

Jalopnik says Husqvarna plans to put something similar into production within five years (basically, forever). But seriously, I would have driven this thing to school every day if I had one. Trust me. Oh, and check out more pics over at [Jalopnik].

Lawnmowers, with their spinning, ground level blades, are most dangerous to small animals, young children, and feet. Recently, one Mowing Menace trapped a 4-year-old girl's foot under its blades of doom, causing enough damage to require amputation. In fact, she was one of 77,000 people who go to the hospital every year, victims of mowing-related violence.

Clearly, in the epic battle of Man vs. Machine, mowers don't intend to play fair.

A mower in Oregon flipped its rider down an embankment and into a ditch before rolling itself onto some blackberry bushes above the trapped man. The lawn mower's heat actually set the blackberry bushes on fire, and when they gave way, the mower itself tumbled 15-20 feet to rest on top of its owner, trapping him in the ditch. Though the victim wasn't severely burned, the crushing weight of his mower caused enough unspecified injuries to necessitate a helicopter airlift to a nearby hospital.

Another one, at a park in Indiana, was being peacefully driven around the perimeter of a lake when it snagged a wire, flipped and slowly dragged its helpless rider into the water like a conniving, hungry alligator. Though the tractor technically did not devour the 59-year-old John McComas, it did pin him in the shallows of the lake, rendering him unable to move. Thankfully, he managed to keep his head above water and shouted for help, and was rescued soon enough to escape with only mild injuries.

A lawnmower in Florida apparently took offense to its owner doing a little repair work on it, and so shot a spark onto the owner's nearby boat. The spark ignited gas fumes and the boat promptly burst into flames, sending up huge plumes of smoke and the risk of serious fire in the "tinderbox conditions" of that stretch of the Atlantic coastline. The town's fire commissioner, Fred Link, explained with laughable naivete, "It was accidentally started." Sure, Fred, that's what they want you to think.

Lawnmowers don't just act alone, though. They are capable of teaming up with other terrors to dish out even more devastation. In Texas, the mere sound of a lawn mower was enough to enrage a nearby swarm of killer Africanized bees. That's right, Africanized bees, the ones the hysterical news media alerted your attention to back in 1999. The killer bees, responding to the mower's calls, attacked nearby residents, stinging two bystanders and two firemen. None were seriously injured, and another fireman said he "barely managed to avoid being stung," a quote he probably wishes had not appeared in his local paper. The bees were exterminated, but the mower lived to fight another day.

But just like in Battlestar Galactica, some of these appliances have decided to side with humans—defending them instead of terrorizing them. In Croatia, an innocent man was mowing his lawn when suddenly, his mower detonated a live hand grenade, sacrificing its own self in the process. The man escaped uninjured, but still confused as to what a live grenade was doing in his garden.

Evatech's latest and greatest R/C "hybrid" mower can be manned from up to 2,000 feet away as it takes on 70-degree slopes at 8MPH. Its track system not only creates stability—it's perfect for winter traction as you can plow your driveway with a shovel attachment. Keep in mind, since the 22T can both cut grass and plow snow, you're really only paying about $6,000 per function—that's like half the listed price!

But without a seat and/or cupholder, I'm just not sure that I can justify the purchase. EvaTech]

"I'll tell you the truth," a criminal complaint quotes an apparently inebriated Keith Walendowski. "I got pissed because my lawn mower wouldn't start, so I got my shotgun and shot it.

"I can do that. It's my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want," Walendowski told police.

…

According to the complaint, Walendowski had been drinking all morning. Around 9:30 a.m., he attempted to start his 21-inch Lawn-Boy - unsuccessfully.

After shooting the mower, he went in his basement, where he was arrested by police, the complaint says.

Police recovered the shotgun, shells, a handgun, rounds for the handgun and a stun gun.

Dick Wagner of Wagner's Garden Mart, 6075 N. Green Bay Ave., said shooting the mower didn't help Walendowski's odds of getting it repaired.

"Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty," he said.

God bless America. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel via Consumerist]

In fact, the product site claims that you can obliterate a 9.2 acre plot of land in about an hour—which is just enough time to work your way through a Slayer album using the 12-volt iPod / Cellphone compatible adapter. After all, that is the only way to cut grass with a beast like the Excalibur 3874. Pedal to the floor with metal music blazing and a middle finger extended in the direction of your neighbors. Unfortunately, you won't be enjoying that unbridled masculine lawncare moment unless you can come up with the $11,332 it takes to buy it. [Dixie Chopper via DVICE]

There's not much explanation offered with these 3D renderings, but it appears that you attach a different front assembly for each of the three tasks. However, for a lot of the snowfall we see out here in the frozen tundra, that snow blower is not going to be quite tall enough. As a leaf collector, the device is going to need some sort of receptacle, too.

If he takes care of those small details, all Gustav has to do is add solar power, an electric motor with a long-lasting battery and robotic capabilities, and he'll be on to something here.

Lawn Fun From 3-In-One [Yanko Design, via Crib Candy]

Who knew people actually did this stuff? I feel like I'm in crazy world – stuck in a bad episode any episode of Home Improvement. – Mark Wilson

Drag Racing Lawnmower [via autoblog]

Remote Control Lawn Mower [GadgetryBlog]