Gizmodo
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apocalypse
Doomsday Postponed Until October
An electrical fault has delayed the LHC startup to October. The silver lining is events have aligned in such a way that I can wear my Higgs Boson costume with confidence. October, as you know, is home to Halloween. [MSNBC]
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By Jack LoftusComment by paulrules: Where's my crowbar? *Gets ready to mash some Facehuggers in October* 5 Responses | Other threads
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10,279
By Jack LoftusComment by Mark 2000: Yeah, that's why you think the Earth is 6000 years old, demons can inhabit people, and that condoms are the... 28 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
Wooden Large Hadron Collider Carries Minimal Risk of World-Ending Black Holes
The real Large Hadron Collider has been a bit of a disappointment to date, so an impatient Russian artist decided to make his own. Out of wood. More »
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By John HerrmanComment by admoseremic: Particleboard accelerator? 4 Responses | Other threads
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omg
Large Hadron Collider's Restart Button To Be Pressed By Tom Hanks
Too good to be true: because his character in Angels and Demons saves the Vatican from being destroyed by antimatter stolen from CERN, Tom Hanks will be flipping the switch to restart the LHC. More »
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By John MahoneyComment by OGC: Really? Stolen antimatter from CERN is actually in this movie? 9 Responses | Other threads
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science
Postponed LHC Restart Could Wrestle "God Particle" Discovery From CERN
Scientists are racing to to discover the Higgs boson particle first. That's right – CERN isn't the only one looking, and its Large Hadron Collider might be upstaged by a U.S. accelerator yet. More »
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By Elaine ChowComment by Thassodar: Oh snaps, them physicists can smack talk! I'm surprised they didn't lay down some of dem $5 words. 10 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
LHC Restart Postponed Further, Won't Attempt To Swallow Earth Again Until September
Those anxiously awaiting the restart of the most complex machine ever built on earth will have to wait a little longer, as CERN today announced they were pushing back Large Hadron's restart to September. More »
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By John MahoneyComment by OMG! Ponies!: Do you ever get the feeling that there is a technician there trying to prevent it from coming on line? 9 Responses | Other threads
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large hadron collider
Photos Show What 10 Megajoules Worth of Damage To the LHC Looks Like
CERN's photos of the LHC's multi-million-dollar ouchies aren't as dramatic as the Earth being swallowed by the Singularity, but they show the results of a single solder joint's failure on the world's most complex machine. More »
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By John MahoneyComment by dahveed: 6 tons of helium. How do you weigh something that floats? 37 Responses | Other threads
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large hadron collider
LHC Might Not Be Back Online Until 2010 or Later
When the LHC first went down, it was believed that repairs could get the system up and running by April 2009. Then we saw repairs pushing the timeline back to summer 2009. But now, CERN has arrived at a fork in the road regarding LHC repairs.
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By Mark WilsonComment by anus1220: i'm guessing it'll be delayed to 2012. (i'm kidding) 11 Responses | Other threads
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large hadron collider
CERN's 'Gordon Freeman' Employee Receives Crowbar, Starts Murdering
Do you remember that photo of the Large Hadron Collider that showed an employee looking suspiciously like Half Life's Gordon Freeman? The clowns over at Reddit sent him a crowbar, a headcrab and a book, allowing him to go to town on the alien infestation. The very happy alien infestation, by the looks of that photo. See him in action after the jump. [Reddit via Kotaku] More »
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By Jason ChenComment by Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: What's with that thing on the head of the guy on the right? It looks like he bogarted one of Shat's... 9 Responses | Other threads
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large hadron collider
LHC's $21 Million Single Joint Failure is the Most Expensive Soldering Error in Soldering History
The Large Hadron Collider, the world's most complicated machine that was felled by a single faulty solder joint last month, won't be back until summer 2009 now, at the earliest—a few months later than CERN last speculated. And at what cost? $21 million in repairs. A drop in the bucket when the full $10 billion budget is considered, yes, but let's hope some of this dough is spent on a bit more magnet-meltdown-preventing solder redundancy. [AP]
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By John MahoneyComment by Substance_D: The LHC is turning out to be world's most expensive fail. However, if it ever ends up working I hope... 11 Responses | Other threads
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time
Time Names Top 50 Inventions of 2008
Time Magazine has gone through all of the inventions of 2008, from walking chairs to spaghetti forks, and declared to best 50 of the year (and of course, a winner, which was this at-home genetic testing service by 23andMe). Many of their choices are predictable, like the Large Hadron Collider. Some are easy to overlook, like the Global Seed Vault. And others are straight-up controversial, like the baseball instant replay or the game Spore. More »
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By Mark WilsonComment by Kaiser-Machead: Well my favorite inventions are.. 1. LindsayJoy's avatar 2. LEGO 3. Sites that supplement LEGO parts that would normally not exist 4. Gizmodo's pre-threaded... 9 Responses | Other threads
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supercomputers
Worldwide LHC Computing Grid Online, Just in Time for LHC to Go Down
Well, the LHC may be out of commission until April, but the LHC Computing Grid, otherwise known as the world's largest computing grid, was just switched on. The system is comprised of combined computing power from 33 countries. That's 140 computer centers crunching 15 million gigabytes of LHC data per year (or roughly six CDs/second at its peak). More »
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By Mark WilsonComment by Kaiser-Machead: Hopefully in before the Skynet jokes come rolling in. I wish I knew more about this device so I could even... 2 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
Large Hadron Collider to Be Shut Down Until Early April
The Large Hadron Collider, which has been delayed due to some problems with a helium link, now has a date for when it'll go back online: early April. It's going to be so long not just because of the problem, but because there was already a scheduled maintenance from November 15th through April anyways, as there will be every year. This reduces the strain on the French power grid during the winter months and gives them a chance to make sure the collider is always running in top shape. [CNET]
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By Adam FrucciComment by ChesterHapidooya: Man's technology has exceeded his grasp. - 'The World is not Enough' September 24, 2008 - 'LHC on hold until spring... 6 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
LHC Offline Until Spring of 2009
It looks as thought the magnet situation that shut down the LHC last week is going to take even more time to correct than previously feared. In order to fully investigate the problem, researchers have decided to hold off a restart until sometime in the spring of 2009. Robert Aymar, director-general of CERN called the situation "a psychological blow," but getting this beast is in good working order must be the top priority. Apparently, the fire department rushed to the scene after a little over a ton of liquid helium leaked into LHCs super-long tunnel, causing around 100 of the magnets to overheat. Take your time guys—we don't need any more drama with a device that could bring down the world. [BBC]
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By Sean FallonComment by OMG! Ponies!: DAMMIT! I already maxed out all of my credit cards and gambled away all of my savings because I was counting... 11 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
One Billion People Tuned in to See the LHC Break
The CERN scientists said the LHC's big malfunction this weekend was the result of a "faulty electrical connection between two magnets that stopped superconducting, melted and led to a mechanical failure and let the helium out," but we snarky Internet folk know better. It was performance anxiety! With more than a billion people tuning in to watch the first proton beams make their way around the 17-mile ring, the LHC just got a little potty shy. "It is quite overwhelming," said CERN spokesman James Gillies. "We weren't just on the news, we were top of the news." And now you're buried under a mountain of repairs. Get to work so the world can end already! [New Scientist]
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By Jack LoftusComment by tenio: I for one am glad they had a problem now and not later when some real damage could occur. These 2... 4 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
LHC Repair Update: Temperature Must Be Raised so Repairmen Don't Die
In case you were still worried about the LHC bringing on the biblical apocalypse, you can calm down, because it turns out the Collider is going to be out of commission for a lot longer than previously thought. The “electrical transformer” problem wasn't the cause of the shutdown at all, and the real problem means the LHC won't be back up and running for at least two months. More »
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By Dan NosowitzComment by Xeno: They most likely mean near absolute zero since true absolute zero has not yet been reached. Even the failures with... 2 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
LHC Shut Down Because of Electrical Fault
Barely a week after it was powered up for the first time, the Large Hadron Collider was shut down temporarily when an electrical fault struck a cooling system for the high-powered magnets responsible for steering beams of particles through the tunnel. It should really come as no surprise that problems would pop up from time to time given the immense complexity of the LHC—a sentiment echoed by an LHC spokesman when she said that stoppages would be" normal" given the fact that the system is still in its commissioning phase.[Physorg]
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By Sean FallonComment by badhatharry: Let me get this straight, we can put a man on the moon but we can't cool 1,232 magnets to... 16 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
Hackers Hit LHC, Sorta Maybe Came Close To Actual Damage
Bad news today at the Large Hadron Collider, that big-bang tester everyone's been nervously joking about all week: Some badasses who call themselves the Greek Security Team hacked computers at the facility. In fact, they got in so deep, say reports, that they were "one step away" from cracking into the computer control system of one of the LHC's "detectors." Sounds scary, but it seems that, for scientists, it was more irksome than apocalyptic. More »
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Comment by leaverus: I don't get it...why would control systems for a particle accelerator be accessible remotely via internet? There couldn't ever be... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Questions questions
Ten Facts You Should Know About the LHC
Neatorama has put together a good list of 10 basic questions on the Large Hadron Collider. It doesn't answer questions like "Why the heck can't Michael Zeller quote Star Trek correctly?" but it solves others, from why is it called Large Hadron Collider to why is it underground. My favorite, however, is Why is the LHC like a Werewolf? More »
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By Jesus DiazComment by OMG! Ponies!: The only fact I need to know is that the LHC is going to open a portal between Earth and... 11 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
LHC Webcams Depict Horrifyingly Singular Moment
In case you weren't paranoid enough knowing that there's a 14-mile particle accelerator complete with Black Hole Button currently operational on this, your most favorite of planets, here's a dose of meta-reality that will make your palms even sweatier, a glimpse of live webcams monitoring the LHC Compact Muon Solenoid Experiment. Once you're sufficiently freaked out, you can share it with your most skittish and/or ignorant friends and family members, and watch them squirm with palpable existential terror. [Cyriak - Thanks Josh!]
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Comment by Sorzante: Damnit, our corporate HQ sucks: Access Denied Reason: The category of Computer Games, Extreme has been blocked by your System Administrator WTF 4 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
Girl Commits Suicide Over LHC Doomsday Predictions
Despite repeated assurances by experts that the Large Hadron Collider would not bring about the end of the world, it appears that one 16-year-old girl in central India decided to commit suicide by drinking pesticide rather than face that remote possibility. Her father noted that several Indian programs aired doomsday predictions in the days leading up to the test run, which left her inconsolable. As tragic as this is, I can't help but wonder why someone would rather go out by drinking pesticide than being painlessly vaporized. [news.com.au via Uberreview]
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By Sean FallonComment by Moonshadow101: Natural Selection. Just sayin' 13 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
Large Hadron Collider Has Black Hole Button
Though the Large Hadron Collider didn't kill us when those crazy CERN scientists closed their eyes, said a prayer, recited a few theorems and switched it on for the first time, the secret is that it could have killed us. When they built the collider, the scientists installed a black-hole creation button. (The button is real, but it doesn't actually do anything.) More »
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By Jack LoftusComment by thetickler: I'm more worried about Palin then the end of the world, although technically, it's the same. 4 Responses | Other threads
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caption contest
Caption Contest: Pre-Apocalyptic LHC Slumber Party
"Like I said, if the world doesn't end, I'll erase the tape. Promise." More »
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By Mark WilsonComment by Geisrud: I don't have a caption, I'd just like to point out that the girl in the blue has a large... 2 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
LHC First Beam Test Image, All Systems Go for First Collision Event
This is the first groovy image produced by the Large Hadron Collider, showing some of the first protons accelerated today at 1028h Central European Time (0428h Eastern Time), the exact time when CERN scientists successfully fired up the LHC for the first time. As we told you earlier this morning, this wasn't the heads-on collision experiment, which will come later in the year. More »
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By Jesus DiazComment by acekrn: This is an honester to God question. "Do you really give a sh*t?" The very fact you're mentioning it gives the guy... 6 Responses | Other threads
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By Jesus DiazComment by 可愛い兎: For all the ignorant people in the world... and I guess there are quite a few... You may still run across... 14 Responses | Other threads
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lhc
Stephen Hawking Bets Against Large Hadron Collider's Success
We know the LHC won't end the world, but in an amusing note before its big switch-on tomorrow Stephen Hawking (he of the physics brain the size of a planet) has admitted he's got a $100 bet that the machine won't succeed in one of its big goals: finding the very mysterious Higgs boson. More »
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By Kit EatonComment by Open_universe: Didn't he go nuts a while back when he disproved one of his own theories? 5 Responses | Other threads
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By Jesus DiazComment by Curves: End of the world party, my place, Tuesday night!Go ahead and wear your favorite clothes; no sense waiting for that... 7 Responses | Other threads
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diy
Build Your Own Large Hadron Collider in 1.62 x 10^28 Easy Steps
Want to build the most complex machine human kind has ever produced? All you'll need is €6 billion, enough real estate to hold your 17-mile-long ring, a staff of international geniuses, and these plans (free!). The 115MB of documentation just made available by the Journal of Instrumentation has all you need to understand the inner workings of all the major LHC components, from the EMCAL super modules to the ionizing gas straw tubes to the calorimeter end-caps. And the schematics within are, just like everything else large-hadron related, beautiful. More »
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By John MahoneyComment by ottermann: OK. I admit I am a geek. I downloaded all 7 pdf's and am in the process of printing them... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Large Hadron Collider Countdown
Reminder: World Ends Tomorrow, Have Sex, Don't Do Your Homework — Update: Apocalypse Delayed to September 10
Hookay. So, you all know the Large Hadron Collider by now, the oh-so-pretty particle accelerator thingamajig that will implode taking the whole planet with it. Yeah, that one. Well, it is now T minus 24 hours from ignition. The end of the world, people. In fact, you have less than 24 hours to do everything you wanted to do before dying. Right now. Make a list and start right now. I did mine already. Update: apocalypse delayed again. New date is September 10. More »
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By Jesus DiazComment by Caine Micheal Parisee: Woah. The world was going to end on my birthday. more » | Other threads
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doom
Large Hadron Collider Might Annihilate Humanity, But it Sure is Pretty
Looking for some new desktop pictures? What better to have as a desktop than the contraption that's going to create a black hole in a mere week, killing us all? The Big Picture has a great collection of high-res Large Hadron Collider images, and they're stunning. If we're going to die, we might as well be killed by the biggest, most beautiful piece of technology ever assembled by man. More »
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By Adam FrucciComment by StarShooter1: Wait... I've seen this movie before... Isn't this the same stuff as in the Terminator 3 movie? They better find... more » | Other threads
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Doomsday Watch, Sort Of
Monitor Large Hadron Collider's Magnet Temperatures With Real Time Status Website
Yeah, yeah, the Large Hadron Collider is in no real danger of accidentally opening up a black hole that swallows the world when it's finally fired up on August 7. We know. But still, we sometimes like to pretend it is, and this is where Cern's LHC cooldown status website comes in. Using it you can track the current temperatures of its 1600+ superconducting magnets in real time. But what should you be looking for? More »
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By John MahoneyComment by jtankers: Do you know what you get when you mix high energy colliders with Professor Otto Rossler?s charged micro black hole... more » | Other threads
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to be continued
LHC Ignition Delayed Until August, Earth Spared Another Month
The scientists at CERN's Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland have decided to delay the ignition of the massive particle accelerator. The LHC countdown now shows 30 more days, so you can enjoy July to its full potential. In case you don't know what a Large Hadron Collider is, it's the thingamajig that is supposed to find the Force that binds all things or—according to some morons—was supposed to kill us all yesterday. Wait, hold on a moment here. Maybe they activated it. Maybe the first collision created a white hole that sucked the whole Universe in, and we got back in time. More »
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By Jesus DiazComment by jtankers: Quote: "LHCfacts.org guys are wackos..." Really, check out their credentials yourself, Dr. Rossler is even featured in a Wikipedia article devoted... more » | Other threads
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large hadron collider
Best Fireworks Ever Not Happening Today but in Three Days
If you think you are going to see some cool fireworks today, just wait three more days. Because we just checked the countdown and that's when the Large Hadron Collider will be activated in Geneva, Switzerland. Then we all will enjoy the mother of all fireworks. Well, not us, but the aliens, Tom Cruise, Elvis and the rest of what's left of the Universe. So enjoy your weekend, my friends (you conspiracy morons of the world included) because life is too short, even if the LHC doesn't destroy the galaxy. [LHC Countdown]
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By Jesus DiazComment by Solaricide: Large Hadron Collider? I 'ardly knew 'er! Sorry, Just getting back from the weekend... Did the world end? *Looks outside* Maybe. more » | Other threads
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The End Is Not Near
Report Confirms Large Hadron Collider Will Not Spawn Doomsday Scenario, End World As We Know It
A new report from CERN allegedly puts the final nail in the coffin of doomsday theorists claiming the Large Hadron Collider will result in a reality-ending black hole on Earth. In a word, the report calls the project "safe," and reiterates CERN's original argument that even the most powerful collisions planned for the LHC are nothing compared to what nature has done already for billions of years. "The universe as a whole conducts more than 10 million million LHC-like experiments per second. The possibility of any dangerous consequences contradicts what astronomers see - stars and galaxies still exist," said a layperson's summary of the report. Conspiracy theorists will no doubt keep on keeping on about the LHC, regardless of the report, but for the more level-headed amongst us, there's a certain finality to CERN's findings. Not end-of-the-world finality, mind you, just peace of mind. The countdown timer says 16 days until activation. [Cosmic Log]
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By Jack LoftusComment by tzakiel: Guys, it's not the LHC any more, it's now called Halo. more » | Other threads
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the end
Final Countdown for Large Hadron Collider Activation, Prepare Your Escape Pods
Worried about the Large Hadron Collider destroying the Solar System in a big ball of fire and Z particles? Then stop fracking whining about it and go to the LHC Countdown page. Just 26 days to the end of the world, folks. Time to start looting. [LHC Countdown]
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By Jesus DiazComment by CharlieBurke: @Costermonger: The same did the Heaven's Gate people and the reborn as Bill Gates. 1 Responses | Other threads
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spam
Spammer Keeps Whining About Large Hadron Collider Assploding
Dear Moron Physicist Who Can't Write Proper English, More »
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By Jesus DiazComment by Joe_Bagadonuts: @Git Em SteveDave's G3 hearts a certain MBP: more » | Other threads
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pew pew
Inside the Largest Laser and Fusion Chamber in the World
If you live in San Francisco's Bay Area and your name is Darth Vader, head to Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory for the hottest laser action in the galaxy. Instead of destroying planets, however, the $3-billion National Ignition Facility will be used to fuse hydrogen atoms to create a small star and, in theory, get us closer to an endless power source. A PBS crew got into the facility to film it, and the only thing that comes to mind is "impressive. Very Impressive." The process is fascinating. More » -
lhc
CERN to Morons: Large Hadron Collider Won't Destroy Earth. Morons.
Contrary to the somewhat feverish claims laid out in an recent lawsuit, when our favorite particle-smashing, Force-finding Large Hadron Collider is switched on soon it will not result in the destruction of life as we know it. Such claims are "complete nonsense" say the scientists at CERN (and everywhere else,) in response to the suit. They should know: it's their machine, they designed it and they've been telling everyone for a while that their research shows it's safe. More »
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By Kit EatonComment by Darrone: Large Hadron.... It's just begging for a typo. 1 Responses | Other threads
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