Human culture has reached a point of no return. The overwhelming barrage of Star Wars merchandise has pulverized the last remaining crumbs of our consumer dignity. Consider this product and cry with us: Star Wars Chicken Hot Dogs with Built-in Ketchup. And it gets worse.
Recently, the Star Wars fanbase took time off from freaking out about The Force Awakens to freak out over a rumored ban on merchandise depicting Princess Leia’s “Slave” outfit from Return of the Jedi. Many words about the matter have been said since—a lot of them pretty good!—but leave it to Leia herself to put it…
Ah, I remember it well, those opening scenes of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. That part when, having crushed any sign of resistance about the Tantive IV, Darth Vader reprimanded Luke Skywalker and put him in Imperial custody. Wait, what the what?
... for your wall. Ever wanted to basically do what Skeletor never could? Now’s your chance! Well, as long as you have a rather ludicrous amount of money, this massive head of poor Battle Cat from Masters of the Universe could be yours to mount above your fireplace in a mixture of sadness and pride.
Or, as you might know it, “that spinning bronze sun thing that flies over the map while you’re humming along to the theme tune”. Yes, one of the coolest parts of Game of Thrones’ opening will soon be an elaborate display piece you put on your shelf. Perfectly for Game of Thrones though, you’ll have to buy a book to…
Remember that bit in The Voyage Home where Spock swims with some Whales because he’s goddamn Spock and he’ll do as he pleases? Well, the maddening merchandising glory that is San Diego Comic Con will never let you forget, because said scene is now a Bobblehead that you can buy at the con. What a world.
Remember that wonderful Arkham Asylum Joker statue from a few weeks ago? Now the clown prince of crime has an opponent to go up against. Or well, considering they’re just statues, have the world’s longest staring contest with.
When you think of the Mark Hamill Joker, it's easy to recall his iconic turn in Batman: The Animated Series and the DCAU. But video game fans might remember it instead from his appearance in the Batman: Arkham games — which is now the subject of this stunning Sideshow statue.
Although their repeated use has blunted their impact a little, Doctor Who's Weeping Angels are still capable of giving young kids (and the kids at heart) a good jump-scare now and then. What better way to remind your little loved ones of such moments of terror than ensuring they never sleep again?
Do you enjoy giving out candy to people and also freaking them out at the same time? Yes? Good! Then these are just for you. Look into that Thor's eyes and tell me you wouldn't say no to a dig around in his candy bowl.
When you've been around as long as DC Comics, there's plenty of iconic moments in comic book history to choose from for a series of cool looking statues. But that said, I'm not entirely sure how the addition of wobbly spring-loaded bits makes them look any better.
Ah, trading cards. We all amassed piles of them when we were younger, be it Pokémon, Star Wars, sports or whatever. Now, at least for their Star Wars line, Topps are bringing the cards back... as part of a digital app that is literally nothing other than buying pictures on your phone.
We already know that Spider-Man is the biggest money making superhero on the planet, but get this: merely the announcement of being linked to Marvel's Cinematic Universe has seen merchandise based on the webslinger skyrocket in popularity.
What If Doctor Who's Cybermen found themselves upgrading to stone bodies rather than metal ones? It seems highly impractical from a movement perspective, but at least we know it'd look downright beautiful thanks to this new bust from Edge Sculpture.
There ain't no power in the verse that can stop you from passing go and collecting 200 credits, apparently.
You thought Hot Toys' take on the Hulkbuster was expensive? Wait till you get a load of Beast Kingdom's newly unveiled Hulkbuster statue. No, you can't climb inside. But my word, what a humongous beast it is!
I mean, come on. If you're buying something like this, you're buying it to aid in scaring the living bejesus out of your friends and family too, right? The mere fact that it looks incredible is practically a bonus at that point.
Earlier this year, Hot Toys unveiled their wonderful 1:6 scale Darth Vader, which you'll be able to pose and do with as you see fit later this year. Sideshow have now unveiled their own take on the Sith Lord, and while he's not as moveable as his Hot Toys counterpart, he's still wonderful to gaze at nonetheless.
Attack On Titan's popularity knows no bounds - both in the US and Japan the manga is tearing up sales charts, and that of course means there is merchandise out the wazoo. But you know something's really made it when it started being slapped all over... Water Coolers. Wait, what?
It seems like perhaps the most obvious idea for a dancing Groot - just one of many that we've had since Guardians of the Galaxy came out. Watch the little twig that could wiggle about through the power of the Sun itself! But I don't think anyone accounted for it looking so spectacularly scary too.