When was the last time you found yourself watching a 200-slide Powerpoint on the quarterly goals for the Southeast with nothing to eat but half a stale donut? Microwave some beans and you'll be the talk of the meeting!

Watching another product demo at CES? How about some hot beans?

Covering a White House press conference? Robert Gibbs will love you if you offer him some piping hot beans!

The Beanzawave is a must-have for road warriors, bloggers, and journos. Order yours now and I'll throw in this car adapter so you can make beans while cruising down the highway!

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I sure as %&#! don't want to be on a plane with one of these. Oh, and it has nothing to do with being worried about navigational interference.

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Impress the Geniuses and that cute girl who needs help with her iPhone. Just take out your MacBook Pro, plug in the Beanzawave, and PRESTO! Beans for everyone!

Trust Ponies on this one: Ladies can't resist microwave beans. It's like catnip to them.

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Know what else can be microwaved? Canned chili. Just take a can of chili, put it in the special Beanzawave container, and zap yourself some chili. It's a real conversation starter.

Obviously, the social implications of the Beanzawave are clear. So why not have yourself a Beanzawave party? If you act now, I'll not only throw in the car adapter; I'll include an extra Beanzawave! That's right! You get two Beanzawaves and a car adapter for one low price.

I know that WWDC just passed. But there's still more conventions, pressers, and meetups in the second half of 2009. Think of the good times you'll have.

We all know that Pogue and Mossy love Apple and Dvorak hates Apple. But they all love beans and chili. Mend fences with the Beanzawave.

And hey! maybe you'll see Steve Jobs at the conference too. Everyone wishes him well but with the Beanzawave, you can do something about it. Imagine the Twitter's reaction to the news story about you, a humble blogger, offering Steve Jobs some hot microwave beans and chili. You'll be the talk of Silicon Valley.

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Which would you rather have: beans, chili, or nachos?

It's a tough decision. That's why I choose all of the above. The Beanzawave can heat up beans, chili, and nachos.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I love eating nacho cheese. I bet you do too. That's why I'm throwing in a booklet of my favorite recipes. For example, heat up some Heinz Refried Beans, some Hormel Beef Chili, and some Cheez-Whiz! Throw in some Doritos and...

BAM! Nachos on the road. And, you can use the lid of your laptop as a tray to spread the nacho love. Ever had Dorito-Nachos? Well, nothing beats Dorito-Nachos fresh out of the Beanzawave!

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And you can cook so many things in it. Chili. Beans. Bologna. Oscar Mayer hot-dogs. Ketchup packets. Tunafish sandwiches. Cole slaw. Frosties from Wendy's. Mayonnaise. Three-day old fries. Ruffles Potato Chips.

Everything a growing boy needs.

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