Mr. T
”What Kind of Geek are You?
Wired has done a handy cut-out-and-keep guide to spotting geeks. Third from the right is gadget geek, who apparently "writes ferocious comments on Giz" (FIRST! and Will It Blend? are not examples of ferocious comments, before you ask.) James Chiang's fabulous photo just begs the question, however: What kind of geek are you? More »I Put Little Boy Into a Coma With Nothing But My Presence
I'm going out the same way I came in. Pow! See you around, suckas. Hope you fools enjoyed my jibba jabba. Don't do books, read milk, drink your drugs and respect yo mommas.
Mr. T Versus Dracula, Dinosaur-Man (Who's Also a Detective)
Who do you think is gonna win? Mista T or some punk ass fool who sleeps all day and nibbles on people's necks? That's right. His mouth is gonna meet my fist, and my fist makes a good first impression sucka. Once I'm through with him, I'm gonna move on to this Dinosaur-Man chump. What kinda fools is gonna put pants and a tie on a dinosaur for Jeebus sakes! He's a dinosaur that's also a detective. Let's see if he can detect this move. What time is it fool? Time for me to sock you in the dino teeth, T style. [Mohawk Media]
If You Don't Get Your April Fool Out Of My Face I'm Gonna Turn You Into Chopped Liver
Yo! I'M MR. T!!! What an awesome day it's been, guest editing the Giz. Some of you think it's Talk Like T Day. Well, I'll squash the punk—squash him like a bug—who suggests that April 1 was TLT Day. It's April Fool, FOOL!! And to all you naysayers who think that Gizmodo sucked today, you know that the only thing you can hear is your little pea brain rolling round your head. And when I finish with you, you won't even be able to hear that! By the time I do let you girl scouts go, you're gonna be big on PAIN! But first I'm gonna make you all suffer with the rest of the web's April Fools.
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Sprint's Samsung Instinct First Hands On and iPhone Sizemodo (UPDATED: Now with Full Tour Video)
Sprint's Instinct is so special the carrier is holding its own super special event. Unfortunately, it hasn't quite finished baking, so the full feature set wasn't entirely ready to go—we had to visit different "stations" to check out each feature individually to keep us from diving too deep. The iPhone-challenging visual voicemail, for instance, ain't quite live. Plus, it locked up when I was messing around with the music store, and needed a hard reset for the more money shot voice command features, which still didn't quite work (or finding a McDonald's is just too much). And the web browser doesn't, um, touch mobile Safari, at least not in its present state.
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Benny Bathes for Giz: Kohler VibrAcoustic Tub is T-Tastic
The suckas at Kohler wanted me to try out their new VibrAcoustic tub today, but I already took a bath this morning. I sent that one bathtubbin' fool in my place, and while I may go Clubber Lang on him for trying to impersonate the T, this tub looks pretty sweet. More »Toshiba Satellite Laptops: New Fusion Look, Charge-Anytime USB Ports, Cheaper Prices
Mr. T's favorite laptop maker rolled out slick, useful and budget-minded updates to its Satellite line today. First up, the 13.3" U400, 14.1" M300, 15.4" A300 and 17" P300 have a new look called "Fusion," a shiny finish with pinstripes and smoothed edges, not unlike that sucka HP's successful smooth-n-shiny-n-pinstripey look. The eight shots in the gallery make the design look a bit greenish, so we'll have to wait to pass final judgment. It's one thing to look nice on the outside, but like T, these have a lot going on on the inside, too... More »Velocity Mobile Enters Windows Mobile Smartphone Market With 103, 111
Does the world need yet another company making Windows Mobile phones? Maybe, maybe not, but Velocity Mobile is doing it anyway with their Velocity 103 (left) and 111 (right) smartphones. Both are running Windows Mobile 6.1 and will launch in Q2 and Q3 respectively. What's this have to do with Mr. T? You can't spell Velocity without T, fool. Plus Mr. T likes smartphones. More »Why You're a Momma's Boy
Who you callin' a momma's boy? Me? That's right. T's proud to love my momma! You should too. Here's some scientist explainin' why being a momma's boy is natural. I don't need no science to explain that punk. Mr. Scientist, I got three words for you. Respect yo momma! [Sciencentral]Mr. T-Mobile Warns Mr. Engadget Mobile Over the Color Magenta
Mr. T says I'm crazy and he may be right. I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm a choo-choo train! But Mr.T-Mobile is the only crazy one: they requested Engadget Mobile to stop using their shade of magenta in his logo because it may lead to "confusion in the marketplace." Their shade of magenta? I've known magenta since she was a kid! She was called Cynthia back then. Don't worry Mr. Block, it'll all pass. Just hold your breath, and remember your exercises! [Engadget via Gadget Lab]
T-Mobile Gets BlackBerry 8120 With Wi-Fi and Hotspot@Home
Who knew my son would grow up to not only be an international superstar, but the president of a cellular company? And what a nice company it is, getting this fancy Blackberry 8120 with Wi-Fi. It's already been on AT&T, but AT&T don't have no Hotspot@Home calling support for Voice over IP. Makes a momma proud.
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ClarityLife Phone: Good For Me and My Momma
If you're like me, you worry about your momma, even if you're just runnin' out to the grocery store. I used to like the Jitterbug, but ClarityLife phone might be what I should get her. It's got a big screen cuz her eyes aren't so good anymore, and it's got an amplifier that brings incoming voices up by 20 dB, cuz her ears aren't like they used to be either. There's a one-touch button on the back that will call and send text messages to five pre-programmed names, so if she takes a spill she can call for help. Best of all, no contract. What is my momma gonna do with 800 minutes of talktime? She'll talk for 800 minutes, but she doesn't need a phone to do it. Even if you don't buy her some fancy new old-person's phone, remember, treat your mother right. [Clarity Products]Sola Unagi: A Solar Generator to Charge Your Stuff, Suckas
Yo! You may not know it but I'm a caring kinda guy. I worry about the environment: my fist's gonna see you later if you don't too. So you guys should check out the Sola Unagi generator, made by Fuji Technologies. Weighs just 22 pounds, and even you weaklings could carry that. It's got two solar cells, and the rechargeable battery will run your laptop for up to six hours, and a mini fridge for four. Hell, you can even charge 20 cellphones at the same time if you like. It's designed to help people in developing countries, but using it here will cut down on your power use. $1,360 each. [Red Ferret]John Mayer Gets Apple Reply after Bug Report Jibba-Jabba
It looks like writing "John Mayer here" really works to get Apple's attention when you report a problem. According to Steve Jobs' fab guitarist, they got back to him directly only four days after he sent the bug report ramblings:
Strip Down Windows to the Bare Essentials
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them maybe you can hire...the A Team...to strip down Windows to the Bare Essentials. I ain't tweakin no registry, fool! [Lifehacker]Windows Mobile 6.1 Gets Official, No More Rumor Nonsense
All you business fools who've been waiting for Windows Mobile 6.1 can all relax. It's here. And it's supporting all kinds of jibba jabba technologies like a new Internet Explorer Mobile with IE6 tech and h.264, Adobe Flash and Microsoft Silverlight support. There's also even more stuff for your I.T. crew (I put the T in I.T.) such as better System Center Mobile Device Manager 2008 (only the suckas at Microsoft would name a product like this) and Exchange Server 2007 SP1 support. And here's a big list of new and old phones that are getting the update:
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