• iTunes 9: Everything You Need To Know

• iPod Nano 5th Gen Review

• More on new iPod Nano: Full Story, Hands On and First Video Samples

• iPod Touch Update--and What It Is Missing (Spoiler: A Camera)

• New Colors, Sizes for iPod Shuffle and Classic

• The Best Surprise of All: Steve Jobs' return to the stage; here's the video

Missing anything? Here's the full coverage of Apple's Only Rock and Roll event.

I'll admit, the UI performance is impressive. The loading animation scales at a very high framerate, and then four video filters can be previewed at once—in real time. Sure, X-ray and Cyborg footage is too hokey for most of us to ever actually shoot with, but Apple's certainly made the experience painless enough...you know, other than on your eyes.

• Video camera (640x480)
• NO STILL CAMERA
• Integrated mic
• Integrated speaker
• FM Radio!!!!! That you can pause!! And iTunes tag!
• One-click YouTube uploads (through your computer)
• Voice Over like Shuffle
• Pedometer with Nike+ syncing online
• Voice Recorder
• 2.2-inch screen that's .2 inches larger than last model

Starting today, the 8GB nano will cost $150 while the 16GB comes in at $180. (So why buy the 8?) What's the biggest surprise here? The camera we knew about. But the radio? The video support? The total lack of still camera support? I do have to admit, however, if it's this or a Flip, the nano is certainly more tempting.

Apple Introduces New iPod nano With Built-in Video Camera

World's Most Popular Music Player Now Available in Nine Brilliant Colors

SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 9 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Apple® today introduced the new iPod nano®, adding a video camera, mic and speaker to the world's most popular music player. Music lovers can now shoot video wherever they are, view it on their iPod nano and use their computers to easily transfer their videos to YouTube. The new iPod nano features an ultra-thin and sleek design with a larger 2.2-inch color display and gorgeous polished aluminum and glass enclosure. iPod nano also features a built-in FM radio with live pause and iTunes® Tagging, as well as a built-in pedometer. The new iPod nano is available today in an 8GB model for $149 and a 16GB model for $179, and comes in nine brilliant colors including silver, black, purple, blue, green, orange, yellow, (PRODUCT) RED and pink.

"iPod nano is the world's most popular music player with over 100 million sold," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO. "And now we've added a video camera to its incredibly thin design, without any additional cost to the user."

iPod nano features a larger 2.2-inch display for easier navigating, enjoying album art, or shooting and viewing video clips. iPod nano is ultra-portable so users can shoot video wherever they are, in either portrait or landscape. iPod nano customers can share videos instantly with friends using its display and speaker, or sync with a Mac® or PC and share them on YouTube, MobileMe(TM), Facebook or via email.* iPod nano can even shoot videos with fun real-time effects such as Thermal, Film Grain, Kaleido and X-Ray.

iPod nano now has a built-in FM radio with live pause and iTunes Tagging. Live pause lets iPod nano users pause and resume playing their favorite FM radio shows. iTunes Tagging is great when users hear a song they like, they can simply tag it, and then preview and purchase that song when they sync to iTunes.** iPod nano also features Genius Mixes, which automatically creates up to 12 endless mixes of songs from your iTunes library that go great together.

iPod nano is also now an even better workout companion with the new built-in pedometer. iPod nano can keep track of your steps taken and calories burned, helping you meet your short and long-term fitness goals.

iPod nano provides up to 24 hours of music playback or five hours of video playback on a single charge. The 8GB model holds up to 2,000 songs, 7,000 photos, eight hours of video and seven hours of captured video; and the 16GB model holds up to 4,000 songs, 14,000 photos, 16 hours of video and 14 hours of captured video.***

iPod® is the world's most popular family of digital music players with over 220 million sold. Apple's new holiday lineup includes iPod shuffle® in five great colors starting at just $59; iPod classic® in a new 160GB model holding up to 40,000 songs for $249; the new iPod nano with a video camera available in nine brilliant polished aluminum colors starting at $149; and the revolutionary iPod touch® now starting at the breakthrough price of just $199.

Pricing & Availability

The new iPod nano is available immediately for a suggested price of $149 (US) for the 8GB model and $179 (US) for the 16GB model in silver, black, purple, blue, green, orange and pink through the Apple Store® (www.apple.com), Apple's retail stores and Apple Authorized Resellers. The 8GB and 16GB iPod nano in yellow and (PRODUCT) RED are available through the Apple Store (www.apple.com) and Apple's retail stores. iPod nano requires a Mac with a USB 2.0 port, Mac OS® X v10.4.11 or later and iTunes 9; or a Windows PC with a USB 2.0 port and Windows Vista or Windows XP Home or Professional (Service Pack 3) or later and iTunes 9.

*MobileMe is available to persons 13 and older. Annual membership fee and Internet access required. Terms apply.

**Currently available only in the US on radio stations that support iTunes Tagging.

***Battery life and number of charge cycles vary by use and settings. See www.apple.com/batteries for more information. Music capacity is based on four minutes per song and 128-Kbps AAC encoding; photo capacity is based on iPod-viewable photos transferred from iTunes; and video capacity is based on H.264 1.5 Mbps video at 640-by-480 resolution.

The Special Edition version comes only in 4GB, and it being polished stainless steel, weights a bit more. Phil Schiller, in an interview with Brian, said that the process for doing the special edition in stainless steel was different than the aluminum models. It costs $20 more. The heft of the special edition makes it feel more special, said Brian. But I'm not sure if it's $20 more special.

Apple's iPod shuffle Now Starts at Just $59

World's Smallest Music Player Now in Five Great Colors

SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 9 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Apple® today announced that iPod shuffle®, the world's smallest music player and the first music player to talk to you, is now available starting at just $59 in five great colors. iPod shuffle's intuitive controls are conveniently located on the headphone cord, letting you navigate and enjoy music without even looking. With the press of a button, you can play, pause, adjust volume and switch playlists, plus the VoiceOver feature lets iPod shuffle speak song titles, artists and playlist names. The iPod shuffle is available worldwide today in a new 2GB model for just $59 and a 4GB model for $79, and both models come in silver, black, pink, blue and green.

(Photo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20090909/SF72800)

"iPod shuffle is the world's smallest music player and now comes in five great colors starting at just $59," said Philip Schiller, Apple's senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. "iPod shuffle is so small that you almost forget it's there, yet remarkably, it holds up to 1,000 songs and talks to you."

iPod shuffle is based on Apple's incredibly popular shuffle feature, which randomly selects songs from your music library. iPod shuffle features a sleek and ultra-wearable design with a built-in stainless steel clip. iPod shuffle users can easily clip it to almost anything and take it everywhere.

In addition to the Apple Earphones and Apple In-Ear Headphones with Remote, third party manufacturers including Sony, V-MODA, Klipsch and Scosche are supporting built-in headphone controls and Belkin and Scosche offer built-in headphone adapters allowing users to enjoy iPod shuffle with their own headphones.

iPod® is the world's most popular family of digital music players with over 220 million sold. Apple's new holiday lineup includes iPod shuffle in five great colors starting at just $59; iPod classic® in a new 160GB model holding up to 40,000 songs for $249; the incredible new iPod nano® with a video camera available in nine brilliant polished aluminum colors starting at $149; and the revolutionary iPod touch® starting at the breakthrough price of just $199.

Pricing & Availability

The third generation iPod shuffle is available immediately for a suggested price of $59 (US) for the 2GB model and $79 (US) for the 4GB model in silver, black, pink, blue and green through the Apple Store® (www.apple.com), Apple's retail stores and Apple Authorized Resellers. A 4GB special edition polished stainless steel model is available in a 4GB model for $99 (US) through the Apple Store (www.apple.com) and Apple's retail stores. iPod shuffle comes with the Apple Earphones with Remote and the iPod shuffle USB cable. iPod shuffle requires a Mac® with a USB 2.0 port, Mac OS® X v10.4.11 or later and iTunes® 9 or later; or a Windows PC with a USB 2.0 port and Windows Vista, Windows XP Home or Professional (Service Pack 3) or later.

Also like the iPhone 3GS, the graphics processor in the new iPod touch has OpenGL ES 2.0 capability. No wonder they are pushing so much on the gaming front.

No sight of the rumored camera. A lot of case manufacturers are going to spend a lot of time fixing holes.

Do you wonder where the camera went? Here you have some answers.

Apple Introduces New iPod touch Lineup

New Breakthrough Price of $199

SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 9 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Apple® today announced the new iPod touch® lineup starting at the breakthrough price of just $199, giving users a great iPod®, a great pocket computer, a great game player and access to Apple's revolutionary App Store with over 75,000 applications. iPod touch features Apple's revolutionary Multi-Touch(TM) user interface, a gorgeous 3.5-inch widescreen glass display, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, and a built-in accelerometer and speaker - all in an amazingly thin metal design that slips easily into your pocket. The 8GB iPod touch is now available for just $199, along with new models which deliver twice the capacity for the same price, with the iPod touch 32GB model for $299 and 64GB model for $399.

(Photo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20090909/SF72778)

"At just $199 the iPod touch is the most affordable gateway to Apple's revolutionary App Store with more than 75,000 applications that you can wirelessly download right into your iPod touch," said Philip Schiller, Apple's senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. "You get a great iPod, a great pocket computer with the industry's best mobile web browser and a great game player, all in this super-thin beautiful enclosure."

iPod touch is a great iPod for enjoying music, television shows, movies and podcasts. iPod touch has incredible features for music fans such as Cover Flow®, Shake to Shuffle(TM), and access to the legendary iTunes® Store. And now, the new iPod touch supports Genius Mixes, which automatically creates up to 12 endless mixes of songs from your iTunes library that go great together. Movies and television shows look great on the gorgeous 3.5-inch widescreen display. iPod touch customers have the entire iTunes Store catalog at their fingertips, giving them instant access to the world's largest catalog of over 11 million songs, TV shows and Hollywood movies to purchase and download directly to their iPod touch.

iPod touch is a great game player with its built-in accelerometer, revolutionary Multi-Touch user interface, its amazing graphics performance and the over 20,000 game and entertainment titles available on the App Store. With support for peer-to-peer connections, the new iPod touch gives users the ability to play multi-player games with people next to them or around the world. iPod touch customers can add new game titles from the App Store over Wi-Fi anytime and anywhere.

iPod touch is a great pocket computer, letting users surf the web, do email, manage their calendars, organize contacts, and use social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. With its award-winning Safari® web browser, iPod touch users can experience the Internet like no other pocket-size device. iPod touch comes with the latest iPhone(TM) 3.1 software including: Cut, Copy and Paste; Spotlight® Search to search across iPod touch or within Mail, Contacts, Calendar and iPod; landscape keyboard for Mail, Notes and Safari; remote lock for MobileMe(TM) and anti-phishing features.

Apple's App Store is a phenomenal success with a selection of over 75,000 apps available and customer downloads topping a staggering 1.8 billion apps. iPhone and iPod touch customers in 77 countries can choose from an incredible range of apps in 20 categories, including games, business, news, sports, health, reference and travel. The App Store works with iPod touch over Wi-Fi so users can discover, purchase and download apps wirelessly and start using them instantly.

iPod touch features up to 30 hours of music playback or six hours of video playback on a single charge. The 8GB model holds up to 1,750 songs, 10,000 photos and 10 hours of video; the 32GB model holds up to 7,000 songs, 40,000 photos or 40 hours of video; and the 64GB model holds up to 14,000 songs, 90,000 photos or 80 hours of video.* The 32GB and 64GB models also include up to 50 percent faster performance and support for even better graphics with Open GL ES 2.0.

iPod is the world's most popular family of digital music players with over 220 million sold. Apple's new holiday lineup includes iPod shuffle® in five great colors starting at just $59; iPod classic® in a new 160GB model holding up to 40,000 songs for $249; the incredible new iPod nano® with a video camera available in nine brilliant polished aluminum colors starting at $149; and the revolutionary iPod touch starting at the breakthrough price of just $199.

Pricing & Availability
The new iPod touch is available immediately for a suggested price of $199 (US) for the 8GB model, $299 (US) for the 32GB model and $399 (US) for the 64GB model through the Apple Store® (www.apple.com), Apple's retail stores and Apple Authorized Resellers. iPod touch requires a Mac® with a USB 2.0 port, Mac OS® X v10.4.11 or later and iTunes 9; or a Windows PC with a USB 2.0 port and Windows Vista or Windows XP Home or Professional (Service Pack 3) or later and iTunes 9. Existing iPod touch users can update to the latest 3.1 software for just $4.95 (US) to enjoy new features including Genius Mixes and Genius for Apps. iPod touch owners who already have the 3.0 software get the 3.1 software update for free. Simply download the latest version of iTunes onto your Mac or PC, and purchase the 3.1 software update via iTunes.

*Battery life and number of charge cycles vary by use and settings. See www.apple.com/batteries for more information. Music capacity is based on four minutes per song and 128-Kbps AAC encoding; photo capacity is based on iPod-viewable photos transferred from iTunes; and video capacity is based on H.264 1.5 Mbps video at 640-by-480 resolution.

MC027LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - SILVER
MC031LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - BLACK
MC034LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - PURPLE
MC037LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - BLUE
MC040LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - GREEN
MC043LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - YELLOW
MC046LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - ORANGE
MC049LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - RED
MC050LL/A - IPOD NANO 8GB - PINK
MC060LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - SILVER
MC062LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - BLACK
MC064LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - PURPLE
MC066LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - BLUE
MC068LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - GREEN
MC070LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - YELLOW
MC072LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - ORANGE
MC074LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - RED
MC075LL/A - IPOD NANO 16GB - PINK
MC293LL/A - IPOD CLASSIC 160GB - SILVER
MC297LL/A - IPOD CLASSIC 160GB - BLACK
MC306LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 2GB - SILVER
MC307LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 4GB - GREEN
MC323LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 2GB - BLACK
MC328LL/A- IPOD SHUFFLE 4GB - BLUE
MC331LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 4GB - PINK
MC381LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 2GB - GREEN
MC384LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 2GB - BLUE
MC387LL/A - IPOD SHUFFLE 2GB - PINK

The good news of iPod classic lovers: It's still alive at 160GB. And the shuffles come in colors now. Wheeee! Or something like that. Tune in to our liveblog. We are there already!

[AppleInsider]

See above for links to our latest Apple coverage.

The actual new prices differ to what we saw earlier today. Maybe Apple's Web guys didn't get the memo...

At about 8am EST this morning, the Apple Store had listed the following prices:
The 32GB touch is now $279 (down from $399), the 16GB is $249 (was $299), and the 8GB model is $189 instead of $229. Could a 64GB model arrive at Apple's event today?

At about 8:30am:
The nano has now also been slashed. It's now at $129 (8GB) and $149 (16GB), while the Classic is down to $229 (was $249).

At about 10am:
Apple store down ahead of today's event. [Apple Store] Thanks Max, and @Galaxius.

The new poll system—developed using Wordpress and Polldaddy by our friends at Mekanism--will allow you to give instant feedback about your gut reaction to the keynote. Jason and Brian will be inside the Yerba Buena Center to give you live photos and commentary. And while the show starts at 10am, they will tell you about the latest developments live from the entrance.

Click here to access the liveblog.

Most likely

• New iPod touch: All iPod models have been discontinued in the stock databases, so new units are a given, even if they arrive to the shops later than expected. The only question is the feature set. Would it have a new camera? Looks very likely, as new cases pop absolutely everywhere. New storage capacities? It is a very strong possibility. A new processor, once again leapfrogging the iPhone? Perhaps new materials? We will see about that.

• New iPod nano: Like the iPod touch, the nano will see an update, adding a camera to it. We still don't know if anything physical will change, but it's not likely, looking at the multiple cases.

• New album features: This one was confirmed by the record labels—although Apple always has the last word on what goes into each release. It seems they have been jointly developing new interactive features to encourage the purchase of full albums. The project is called Cocktail, and it's aimed to "reproduce the album experience." It may be new glorified PDF-like documents, or some interactive stuff. I don't know about you, but if it's something I can't touch, I can't get no satisfaction.

Likely

• New iPhone OS update: Knowing that a new iPod touch is coming, and about the new features in Cocktail, a new iPhone OS 3.1 update will probably be a must too.

• The end of the classic iPod: Looking at the sinking sales of the big honky tonk iPods, this may be their end, hopefully getting replaced by a 64GB iPod touch. As much as I loved it—had every single model until the iPhone came—it's time to leave them in the memory motel.

Unlikely

• Apple tablet: We had high hopes for this one, but unless Apple decides to pull a rabbit out of their magic hat at the last second, it looks like the the fabled Apple tablet is not going to happen this time. You can't always get what you want, but you can get what you need.

• Beatles remastered: As much as I want this to happen—and even while tomorrow The Beatles Remastered box sets will be released—I don't think the Beatles on iTunes is on the cards. This rumor comes again and again, every single year, and it never gets realized. This year, look at the invitation. There is no way that Apple would have used the Rolling Stones if the Beatles were coming to the iTunes Music Store. In fact, if sounds like Steve's way of saying: "Fuck it, we need no bloody Beatles, innit?"

The One More Thing

• You know us and our sympathy for the devil: We are all still holding our breaths to see Steve back in the show and tell game. If he doesn't, we are going to pass out. So let's spend the day together, Mr. Jobs.

Photo by Brad Immanuel

The new iPod touch is out. It has a new design: chrome rim, with a tapered back similar to the iPhone, but thinner. It now includes external volume controls as well. It also has Nike+ integrated with no transmitter needed (you still need the in-shoe transmitter, but it has an RFID receiver built-in) as well as on-the-fly genius playlist creation, all included in the new iPhone 2.1 software. It also comes with new prices, available today: $229 for the 8GB, $299 for the 16GB, and $399 for the 32GB. That's $100 cheaper than before. Here are all the features:

• 3.5-inch display.
• Volume controls.
• Accelerometer.
• 802.11 b/g wireless.
• Built-in speaker.

But the most important things are:

• The Nike+ is now built-in, with a matching application and without the need of transmitter with the in-shoe RF transmitter on sale separately (as it always has been) for $19. It doesn't require a receiver however, as it comes with it built-in. Looks like the leaked shots.

• The Genius playlist. There's an atom icon up, below the play/pause icon on the Now Playing screen. If you click it, it will create a Genius Playlist of songs that you may like based on the currently playing song.

Apple Introduces New iPod touch

The Funnest iPod Ever - Perfect for Music, Movies & Games

SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 9 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Apple(R) today introduced the second generation iPod(R) touch featuring an amazingly thin contoured metal design, a gorgeous 3.5-inch widescreen glass display, 802.11 b/g Wi-Fi wireless networking, integrated volume control buttons, a built-in speaker for casual listening, a built-in accelerometer and other advanced sensors, and Apple's revolutionary Multi-Touch(TM) user interface. iPod touch, now available for just $229 for the 8GB model, is perfect for playing music, movies and games, with millions of songs, thousands of Hollywood movies and hundreds of games available on the iTunes(R) Store.

(Photo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20080909/AQTU545)

"iPod touch is the funnest iPod we've ever created," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO. "Users can listen to millions of songs, watch thousands of Hollywood movies and now, thanks to the App Store, download and play hundreds of great games on their iPod touch."

The new iPod touch is smaller and lighter than the original, with a sleek new design that features a contoured metal enclosure with integrated volume control buttons and a brilliant 3.5-inch widescreen glass display. With its rounded edges, flush display and curved, more compact design, the new iPod touch is more comfortable to hold and more portable than ever.

iPod touch users can choose from hundreds of exciting game titles such as "Spore Origins" and "Scrabble" from Electronic Arts, and "Real Football 2009" from Gameloft available on iTunes or directly through the App Store application on the iPod touch. The revolutionary App Store works over Wi-Fi, enabling users to browse, purchase and wirelessly download applications directly onto their iPod touch and start using them instantly. The App Store features an incredible array of applications in a wide variety of categories, including games, travel, entertainment, social networking, sports and much more.

iPod touch works seamlessly with iTunes so you can import, manage, and then easily auto-sync your favorite content. With up to 36 hours of music playback or six hours of video playback on a single charge, the new iPod touch is the ultra-portable way to enjoy your favorite music, TV shows, movies and games on the go. The 32GB model holds up to 7,000 songs, 25,000 photos or 40 hours of video; the 16GB model holds up to 3,500 songs, 20,000 photos or 20 hours of video, and the 8GB model holds up to 1,750 songs, 10,000 photos and 10 hours of video.*

The new iPod touch works with the new iTunes 8 Genius feature, allowing customers to automatically create playlists while on the go. Users can preview the playlist Genius creates, refresh the list to choose different songs and save Genius playlists to enjoy again later.

The new iPod touch also features built-in Nike + iPod support making it an incredible workout companion. Users simply place the optional Nike + iPod sensor ($19 US) in their Nike + shoe to seamlessly connect with the new iPod touch to track miles run or sync with the latest generation gym equipment.

The iPod is the world's most popular family of digital music players with over 160 million sold. Apple's incredible new lineup includes the iPod shuffle in four vivid new colors starting at just $49; the iPod classic in one slimline model with 50 percent more capacity for the same great price — 120GB of storage for just $249; the fourth generation iPod nano featuring a gorgeous curved metal and curved glass enclosure, in nine vibrant colors starting at $149; and the second generation iPod touch now starting at just $229. iPod owners can choose from a vast ecosystem of accessories with over 5,000 products made specifically for the iPod including speaker systems, fitness accessories, fashionable cases and iPod connectivity available in over 90 percent of new car models sold in the US.

Pricing & Availability

The new iPod touch is available immediately for a suggested price of $229 (US) for the 8GB model, $299 (US) for the 16GB and $399 (US) for the 32 GB model through the Apple Store(R) (http://www.apple.com), Apple's retail stores and Apple Authorized Resellers. iPod touch requires a Mac(R) with a USB 2.0 port, Mac OS(R) X v10.4.10 or later and iTunes 8; or a Windows PC with a USB 2.0 port and Windows Vista or Windows XP Home or Professional (Service Pack 2) or later and iTunes 8. Existing iPod touch users can update to the latest 2.1 software for just $9.95 to add the new Genius feature. iPod touch owners who already have the 2.0 software get the 2.1 software update for free. Simply download the latest version of iTunes onto your Mac or PC, and purchase the 2.1 software update via iTunes.

*Battery life and number of charge cycles vary by use and settings. See http://www.apple.com/batteries for more information. Music capacity is based on four minutes per song and 128-Kbps AAC encoding; photo capacity is based on iPod-viewable photos transferred from iTunes; and video capacity is based on H.264 1.5-Mbps video at 640-by-480 resolution.

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its
award-winning computers, OS X operating system and iLife and professional applications. Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and has entered the mobile phone market with its revolutionary iPhone.

Shaking the player activates Shuffle Mode and tilting allows scanning of Cover Flow when the nano is held in landscape. The nano's storage will jump to 8GB and 16GB.

Not a lot of information on the iPod classic and iPod shuffle. The classic is said to come in two colors (probably white silver and black) with the shuffle available in five colors.

The iPod touch will have no color choices and retain the same storage options of 8, 16 and 32GB.

Oh, and the last juicy tidbit from the rumors: The new iPods are supposed to be available at Apple stores today. [AppleInsider]

The Apple Store is still up. Maybe there are going to be no new products today. I can already hear Steve:

Welcome to our Let's Rock event... SUCKAS! Hahahaha. You wanted to rock? Well, big news today! Phil, John and myself are going to form a band with John Mayer! And we are going to call ourselves: THE BEATLES! SUE MY ASS PAUL MCCARTNEY! Hit me on three, Phil!

Too bad that won't happen, because that would have been the best event in Apple history. Ever.