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New York, 10:28 PM
Mon Dec 14
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Odin Odin
    11/09/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    I just charge my crap before I go out and never travel without gadget chargers. It's rare I'm away from a usable socket for too long. #batteries
     Reply
    Odin was starred Odin was unstarred
    Image of SphereCat1 SphereCat1
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    Cue angry emails from morons...now. #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment SphereCat1 was starred SphereCat1 was unstarred
    Image of STiger STiger
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    I have a question about number 8. Can the owner or the third grader be baked in place of the potato? #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment STiger was starred STiger was unstarred
    Image of franco1975 franco1975
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    Wait till i tell you guys about my immitation nokia battery that exploded one night. The phone ended up across the room from the impact of the explosion. Im glad it wasnt in my pants when it exploded :) #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment franco1975 was starred franco1975 was unstarred
    Image of yule-and-bellow yule-and-bellow
    11/07/09

    @franco1975: "Im glad it wasnt in my pants when it exploded :)"

    been there brother #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment yule-and-bellow was starred yule-and-bellow was unstarred
    Image of Andrew Dickerson Andrew Dickerson
    11/07/09

    @yule-and-bellow: hahha a hardy saturday laugh. Thank you. #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment Andrew Dickerson was starred Andrew Dickerson was unstarred
    Image of franco1975 franco1975
    11/08/09

    @yule-and-bellow: ouch ! #batteries
     Reply
    franco1975 was starred franco1975 was unstarred
    Image of strideo strideo
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    Oh and we can't forget this. #batteries
     Reply
    strideo was starred strideo was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    11/07/09

    @strideo: The best part of that fucking retarded video is when the guy gives you detailed instructions on how to DRY AN ONION.

    Rub it with a towel? OH REALLY? I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT. #batteries
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of icanrun2 icanrun2
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    if you make love to your batteries during a fulll moon they will get recharged #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment icanrun2 was starred icanrun2 was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    and place it in a clay pot. Bury the pot in a hayfield

    soooo, is the kimchi ready yet? #batteries
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of jupstin jupstin
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    Number 2 is absolutely true #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment strideo approved this comment jupstin was starred jupstin was unstarred
    Image of Rick-e Rick-e
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    I thought people always knew about #7!!! Everytime I blow on my almost-dry batteries, It almost always recharges them, restoring it to at least half-full.

    of course you have to blow them a specific way, with your mouth shaped like how you would blow a saxophone, while holding the battery at an 34,5 degree angle.

    oh and the speed of your blow must be exactly 75,5 miles/hours. #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment strideo approved this comment Rick-e was starred Rick-e was unstarred
    Image of otko otko
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    If you put your batteries in the toilet and pee on them, they charge back up. #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment otko was starred otko was unstarred
    Image of phool phool
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    @ Andy Dufresne: I'm so sorry your boat charter business didn't pan out. Good news for Giz though; now live, from Zihuatanejo! #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment phool was starred phool was unstarred
    Image of TechTease TechTease
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    I absolutely loved the Shawshank Redemption reference:
    "just mark your spot with a rock that has no earthly business in a hayfield. I favor black volcanic glass"
    :D #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment TechTease was starred TechTease was unstarred
    Image of jessedybka jessedybka
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    Wow, where to even start. All of these are wrong:

    1) This will damage your battery.

    2) You won't die, but it might negatively affect the battery.

    3) There is no such thing as battery experts. It might say that on their nametag, but they're just there to sell you extended warranties.

    4) Why spend money? Most places get cold enough in the winter to do this outside. Just do all your work for the year when it's cold, and then coast through the warm months.

    5) Tuna should be kept cold before it sears. Don't buy from the grocery store and then immediately cook it!

    6) If there aren't volcanos around, a regular rock and some black fabric will work.

    7) Make sure you blow cross-horizontally. If you blow transverse to the charging bi-nodes you could create a static discharge and blow up the battery.

    8) A potato "theoretically" has this energy, but it has to be fried and you have to be drunk to harness it properly.

    9) Any battery that fits, no matter what kind, will work in your device. If it doesn't fit, a rubber mallet and some mayonnaise will ensure it does.

    10) Jumper cables won't work unless your battery or device is branded the same as the car you're boosting from.

    I thought this was a tech blog. Seriously guys, try next time. #batteries
     Reply
    strideo promoted this comment jessedybka was starred jessedybka was unstarred
    Image of TerryinSt.Paul TerryinSt.Paul
    11/07/09

    @jessedybka: Dude, relax, and take a deep breath.
    On the right side of your screen, way up there by the other #batteries storys you will see a bunch of orange words with # signs in front of them next to the black words "read more" . Read the first word, hit your self in the head, climb the tallest building you can find and jump off.
    I thought you were a real douchebag. Seriously guy, try next time.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II promoted this comment TerryinSt.Paul was starred TerryinSt.Paul was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    11/07/09

    @TerryinSt.Paul: Uh. his response to that humorous article was also humorous.

    Holy shit dude, you just fucking owned yourself with irony. You go after someone because you think he misinterpreted something as serious, but all the while you misinterpret HIM as serious? That's some serious, Jedi-level dumbassery. #batteries
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of cdeerinck cdeerinck
    11/07/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Pope, the same can be said of you. Consequently, I supposed it can be said of me too, and anyone that follows. Such is the nature of recursion. But then, I guess if anyone wasn't joking in this thread, then only the poster immediately after him is absolved. Unless "I" is something like the square root of -1 (imaginary), then I guess all bets are off.

    fyi... Don't flame me, I am just a bot doing autonomous postings, and as such I am not expecte to have a decent sense of humor. But feel free to correct any spelling or grammatical mistakes I might have made, because I am after all a self-learning bot. #batteries
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II promoted this comment cdeerinck was starred cdeerinck was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    11/08/09

    @cdeerinck: Pfft. Don't think the same anything can be said of me and and you guys. I'm actually funny. And have sense. #batteries
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of Digo Digo
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    I hate to admit this, but I actually thought this was a serious article until number two. Then I got suspicious it wasn't at number 3, then number 4 confirmed my suspicions. I guess I'm a little off today, I did just wake up.

    Good job getting me though, not many people have, you should be proud. #batteries
     Reply
    Digo was starred Digo was unstarred
    Image of caine3320 caine3320
    11/07/09

    @Digo: Remember the part in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" where Clooney wakes up in the hay loft with the cops on his ass and he's all bug-eyed, and the first thing that comes to mind for him is, "My hair!"

    That's gotta be one of the best disoriented-wake-up shots in film history. #batteries
     Reply
    Wilson Rothman promoted this comment caine3320 was starred caine3320 was unstarred
    Image of ripfire ripfire
    11/07/09

    @Digo: They got me at "terrible tips". #batteries
     Reply
    ripfire was starred ripfire was unstarred
    Image of Mattloxfl Mattloxfl
    11/07/09

    In reply to 10 Terrible Tips for Longer Battery Life
    The best advice for extending battery life is to turn off and stop using the device. #batteries
     Reply
    jakebathman promoted this comment Mattloxfl was starred Mattloxfl was unstarred
    Image of curious-character curious-character
    11/07/09

    @Mattloxfl: I've discovered that you can continue "using" the device for as long as you wish after you've turned it off. #batteries
     Reply
    met2art promoted this comment curious-character was starred curious-character was unstarred
    Image of met2art met2art
    11/07/09

    @curious-character: I've been playing the Fallout 4 MMO, in this fashion, for weeks now. The resomolutions are great and I'm already level 62! Nobody writes to me though. :( #batteries
     Reply
    met2art was starred met2art was unstarred
    Image of curious-character curious-character
    11/07/09

    @met2art: Cool, I've been playing that 1,000,000 taps app on my non-existent iPhone ever since I read about it here at Gizmodo, and I have yet to run out of battery...pretty sure I have the world's highest score too! #batteries
     Reply
    curious-character was starred curious-character was unstarred
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