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Apple Hires Back Old Newton PDA Developer
Nike+ Sportband 2009 Reviewed (Verdict: Saves Money On an iPod)
Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
Transformers Nikes Come in Sweet Toy Box
Nike Salutes Your Right To Keep And Bear Awesome T-Shirt Guns
Robot Parkour Ad by Nike
Buy the Hat from Back to the Future: Part II
The Shoebox Fightstick Is Made For Cheap Chun-Li Combat
Nike Wii Blazer: White Because the Wii Is Also White
An iPhone to Match Your Kicks

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Eye of Fatima
09/28/09

In reply to Apple Hires Back Old Newton PDA Developer
Why do you ask ?
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Barry99705 promoted this comment Eye of Fatima was starred Eye of Fatima was unstarred

Barry99705
09/28/09

@Eye of Fatima: Why wouldn't he?
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Sicpup
09/28/09

In reply to Apple Hires Back Old Newton PDA Developer
there is an old joke:

question: How many Newtons does it take to change a lightbulb?

answer: Farm

We had armed our sales staff with $15k worth of these 'lil gadjets way back when, and they were placed in paperweight mode within 2 weeks. They were the joke of the industry when released, and still to this day I laugh whenever I think of the name.

The UI was so bad we used to have contests to seel who's could fuck-up a client list or data pack worse, and there were many, many ties.

The boss got a bit upset when he realized none of us were using the Newtons after a month, and when we asked him to show us what we were doing wrong his reply was "I don't have to use these damned thngs, I just have to pay for them"- it seems he never really got the hang of using his either.
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OMG! Ponies!
09/28/09

In reply to Apple Hires Back Old Newton PDA Developer
In other news, Jay Leno just hired back old comedy writers to make fun of Apple Newton.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
09/28/09

@OMG! Ponies!: This just in: Steve Jobs in a coma after a newton strikes him in the head. No word yet on whether this was an Apple Newton or a Fig.
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SugitaAlcimede
09/28/09

In reply to Apple Hires Back Old Newton PDA Developer
eat up martha.
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(Starman) Cookie_Monster
09/28/09

In reply to Apple Hires Back Old Newton PDA Developer
YEEAAAAAAH! [to my excitement and your question. ;)]

Newton Man, flying on a plane? Oh god, I don't know the words to that song. XD
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Don Nguyen promoted this comment

alexvanduyn
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
As made by kiddy labor in Thailand! Real cost? $14!
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Con Seannery
07/10/09

@alexvanduyn: I'm proud to purchase these products and support the children and their families. If it wasn't for the first world purchasing these products, the children would have to work the fields for much less pay, they, and their families, may have their lives saved from disease and starvation by these purchases! So I proudly purchase products made with third world sweatshop labor, and I proudly pay so these children can, just as our children in America, have food to eat and a place to sleep.
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Xeno
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
What kind of cars are you buying that have less engineering than this? Kias?
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PurpleMonkeyDishwasher:
07/10/09

@Xeno: Tata? GM? (low blow)
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Sticks Calhoun
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Hey, don't laugh too hard...Tata owns Jaguar Land Rover. :/
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philibuster
07/10/09

@Xeno: Little tikes cozy coupe. Best-selling car in the US.
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AntonioBrocchus
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
Most of Americans' problems with the sport are because they don't really understand it. There is a reason its so popular, and it's not because they don't have the NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB.

You certainly have a right to your opinion, but the majority opinion of football is that it is the best sport in the world.
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Con Seannery
07/10/09

@AntonioBrocchus: You take that back. You take that back right now.
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comments-disabled-for-no-dang-reason
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
Now, I'd like a ball that has a bluetooth micro chip that can be tethered with a chip in my soccer cleat.

This way, only I could get the longer kick, greater accuracy, and better speed.

Now, THAT will be a technological improvement.

Why would I want to pay $140 for a ball that makes it easy for EVERYONE to get longer and more accurate kicks, not just me?
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PurpleMonkeyDishwasher:
07/10/09

@thanq: They should come out with some sort of chip inside the ball that will track where it is on the field.. Oftentimes, the ball will cross the goal line but the ref will not be able to tell. I believe they are working on something similar in the NFL to prove whether or not the football broken the endzone's plane.
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rifdawg
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher:

I fully agree, like maybe some sort of transponder in the ball and the goal. I'm as big a US Soccer fan as anyone, but that when we played Brazil, I'm sorry to say, Kaka absolutely scored but the ref didn't catch it. As an American, I'm happy it wasn't counted, but as a fan of soccer, I get upset when things like that happen.
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Magic Beans? Sure, I'll Buy Some!!
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: And, it comes preloaded with John Tesh's entire music catalog to ensure people kick the thing as hard as humanly possible.
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: They need to allow soccer (football?) referees to use replays to make hard calls. There have been so many materially blatant errors that are uncovered in videos after matches.
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Nick
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
now if they can focus their efforts on gettin' all those racist bastards out of the stands
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Skeetz
07/10/09

@Nick: OI OI OI!
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NurseDave
07/10/09

@Nick: The ones that wear the Swooshtika?
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VenomIreland
07/10/09

@NurseDave: Hah! Approval for you!
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Fuji-kun
07/10/09

@NurseDave: yes. bastards. they started to bark one time samuel eto (black player from Barcelona) saying he was a dog. he scored a goal up their asses and then left the field. people suck no matter what sport. . . maybe golf :D
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Con Seannery
07/10/09

@VenomIreland: ~~Wait. You just approved him? And he already has a star? There used to be a time when a star meant something. I did not have a star at that time.~~

EDIT: Whoops, he's been here for at least a few comments, I must have read what you said wrong. Either way, the last sentiment of the above, struck-through section applies.
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Con Seannery
07/10/09

@Fuji-kun: A bunch of white guys chasing a black guy? Because THAT'S the PGA, man...
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Kaiser-Machead
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
Tom Hanks would've thought twice before slapping this with his bloody hand.
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thePrototype
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: Wasn't Wilson a volleyball?
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Kaiser-Machead
07/10/09

@thePrototype: Details, details.
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Nick
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: the devil is in the details
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kagekiri
07/10/09

@Nick: Isn't the saying "God is in the details"?
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tande04
07/10/09

@kagekiri: Two different sayings two totally different meanings. One is more literal saying that the proof of god is in the small things the other just means the small stuff in a plan, agreement, etc is what can really screw it up.
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VenomIreland
07/10/09

@kagekiri: No, unless you've heard it from some fundie.
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badhatharry
07/10/09

@Nick: No. The devil is in my pants.
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Sticks Calhoun
07/10/09

@tande04: That's interesting. I just approved of the explanation here, and it automatically extended my approval to all other comments it referred to.
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kagekiri
07/10/09

@VenomIreland: No, I heard it from an evolutionary biologist prof teaching upper-div writing for engineers. Basically, he meant "perfection is in the details." Or basically that sloppy writing with crappy grammar and spelling leads to less promotions, less proper consideration of your work, and a general worse opinion of your abilities in a company, though I think it's more generally applied with the explanation tande04 gave. Never heard of the devil version until now.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

In reply to Nike's T90 Ascente Football Ball Has More Engineering Than Most Cars
Soccer = best sport in the world. End of discussion. Just thought I'd throw that in there... ;)
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Pancakes?? FRENCH TOAST!!
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton:

Flopping is the best sport in the world?
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Save me
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: If that is your stance, then you shall refer to it as football.

That is all.
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PurpleMonkeyDishwasher:
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: I was born and raised in the Netherlands and have been living in the U.S. for quite a while now so I grew up loving soccer. I never quite got that soccer didn't become more popular in the US. I don't know if it will ever catch on.
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Kaiser-Machead
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Center passes to wing. Back to center. Back to wing, center holds it. Holds it! HOLDS IT!
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thePrototype
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: spoken by a true sissy, Rugby is the best sport in the world. A rugby jersey is like Kryptonite to a soccer player, the minute a soccer player spots a rugby player, he scrambles under the table he came from.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Sadly, you're likely right. It'll never catch on here. Yet another plus for those born in Brazil....I mean, think about it: They get born into a soccer loving country, with bootyful women everywhere, and sun so many days a year you'd get sick of it! Damn. That would be the life...
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: ......shoots.....GGOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL...!
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[Medic]iEro-Sennin
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton:

It undoubtedly is the most popular sport in the world. Best, not so much as "best" is relative. Now you see I cannot stand this sport. It's so bland and stupid it makes me wonder why anyone could watch 20 men run after a ball for over 90 minutes hearing fanboys shout from every corner. To top it all off, many if not most matches end up with at least a few casualties. Why?
Can't you just fucking sit on your seats and just enjoy the match?

But that's just me.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Save me: I could do that, but then the ignorant amongst us would immediately believe (since 'football' referring to 'soccer' violates their concept of the sport) that I am cheering on a sport where you throw pigskin back and forth and attempt to transfer as much of your kinetic energy into internal energy as possible, like fucking idiots.
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nutbastard
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher:
in America, we like contact sports.

when a soccer player trips and acts like a total nancy, holding his shin like it's about to fall off, we all laugh and call him a pussy. we all know he's only employing such juvenile melodrama in order to increase the likelihood of a foul being called. and we don't buy that sort of thing.

with american football, we watch huge guys smash into each other and fall down every 30 seconds for an hour. it's exceedingly rare that any of them get truly hurt. So we’re well aware that falling down doesn’t cause excruciating pain in and of itself, which means that soccer players are wusses, and we don’t really oblige wusses much in this country.
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Ehrich Blackhound
07/10/09

@thePrototype: My vote is for Hurling. Combine equal parts Baseball, Hockey, Lacrosse, Soccer and Football. Add angry Irishmen with no padding. Shake. Marvel at what ensues.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@thePrototype: Puhleeezzzz.....Rugby is nice, don't get me wrong. But it's not the most popular sport in the world - for a reason.
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nutbastard
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton:

i'd rather watch foosball to tell you the truth.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@iEro-Sennin: lmao. I understand your confusion because its just like mine, except for (American) football.
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MrBangBam
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Completely agree with you, except that it should be called futbol, not soccer.

I would love to have this soccer ball. It'd make me a kid again.
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Edited by MrBangBam at 07/10/09 1:30 PM MrBangBam was starred MrBangBam was unstarred

nutbastard
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead:

then if someone actually scores, we get the annoying-as-all-hell "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL...! GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLL!!!!"
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PurpleMonkeyDishwasher:
07/10/09

@nutbastard: Soccer players wear very little padding so that's probably why they get hurt easier. Also many of soccer player's injuries are cramps which hurt intensely for a couple of seconds but then subside. You don't get cramps when you play football because you are only physically moving for like 10 seconds at a time. That's why you can be an athlete even though you are 600 lbs. And I wouldn't call baseball and golf contact sports. Baseball you bat, run if you are lucky and then sit down until you get to go again or you stand in the outfield and hope that a ball may come you way. Not very exciting to me.
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stackedrecords
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: ...and then punt?
Or wait, would that be: Center passes to wing. STOP PLAY. Back to center. TIMEOUT (it's hot under all this padding) Back to wing. Take another breather. Center holds it. Time for a cuddle. Punt it ? (replayed a 1000 times from 100 different cameras in numerous speeds)
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sick_and_ashamed
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: This is true. If you are a 10 year old girl looking for something to do on a sunday.
/ i kid
// kind of
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Pope John Peeps II
07/10/09

@Ehrich Blackhound: So... you have teams of drunken irishmen running on a sheet of ice, with bats in their hand, trying to catch a football in a small net? What the hell kind of sport is this?
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@nutbastard: But Nutbastard, in terms of manliness, the manliest of the manly is none other than rugby. You can't argue that rugby < football in terms of manliness.
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PurpleMonkeyDishwasher:
07/10/09

@nutbastard: I'm pretty sure that's only the Mexicans who do that.
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Ehrich Blackhound
07/10/09

@Pope John Peeps II: Well, kinda, yeah. Without the ice.
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KronikFpLiOnYkD
07/10/09

@thePrototype: I couldn't agree more! Played rugby in highschool, now thats a sport.
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thePrototype
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: yeah, because it takes real men to play it, unlike soccer.
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thePrototype
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Rugby players wear the exact same amount of padding as soccer players, unless of course you have had a few concussions, then you wear a little bit of padding on your head.
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thePrototype
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: thank you for recognizing that! It's always funny to see American football players bragging about this and that, and then my husband chimes in about how he was a rugby player... instant respect is given to him.
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Yinzers Are People Too
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Not to be a jerk or anything, but you said "rugby is less than football in terms of manliness" and I'm sure your point was "rugby is greater than football in terms of manliness" or "rugby > football." I know it was just a typo, I'm not hatin', just helping.
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PurpleMonkeyDishwasher:
07/10/09

@thePrototype: Yeah, I was talking about American Football which is much different than rugby. And I like American Football as well (huge PSU fan) but I don't agree with the argument NutBastard made
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tande04
07/10/09

@nutbastard: What version of football are you watching?

Serious career ending injuries are the order of the day anymore. On the other hand any time a hand is laid on any player they start crying like the prima donnas they are. Not to mention the absolute ugliness in the way most of them act on and off the field anymore. Used to love football. When it turned into the same thugs that dominate the NBA I turned to other sports.
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tande04
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Dahani Jones would disagree with your perception of rugby and football.

I think one of his points that was valid was that American football is a much more explosive game where the goal is to get the same power into a much shorter hit.
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thePrototype
07/10/09

Real hardcore sports chart:

Rugby = Aussie Rules Football > Lacrosse > Hockey > American Football

Notice Soccer, Baseball, Cricket and Basketball missing from the list
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Edited by thePrototype at 07/10/09 1:54 PM thePrototype was starred thePrototype was unstarred

TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@thePrototype:Yes, because the men in soccer aren't 'real men'. They're more like beings in which mullerian inhibiting factor didn't COMPLETELY kick in. Yup. I TOTALLY know what you mean. **rolls eyes**
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Yinzers Are Celebrating the Stanley Cup: Hey, yea, you're right dude. Thanks. Now to put this newfound editing ability to good use!!
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badhatharry
07/10/09

@nutbastard: This is why I hated Vlade Divak.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Yinzers Are Celebrating the Stanley Cup: Hmm...So I guess I can't edit it afterall. But yea, I looked back on my comment and that's what I meant. Just think about it for a second: NutBastard CAN'T argue that rugby is LESS than football in terms of manliness....But thanks for point it out, regardless.
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Yinzers Are People Too
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Yeah I definitely knew what you meant, but I figured I'd politely point out the typo before someone tried to hang you by your keyboard cable for it. Also, you can only edit for the first fifteen minutes after you post. After that, your words are immortal.
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Sticks Calhoun
07/10/09

@nutbastard: Hey now! When you only get two or three goals in a game, you need to make them count!
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MisterWho's Mystery Meat
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Here Here!
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MisterWho's Mystery Meat
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: Oh, yeah baseball is so much more fun.
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godwhacker, your incandescent leader!
07/10/09

@thePrototype:
aussie rules uber alles!!!!

i ain't sayin that just because i am a st kilda fan, either.

http://www.afl.com.au/
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BrainDamage
07/10/09

@thePrototype: There is a difference between someone jumping on your back at full speed and someone kicking you in the nuts or taking out your feet at full speed. I've played both soccer and rugby and was injured more playing soccer from people taking out my legs.
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Pope John Peeps II
07/10/09

@thePrototype: It's so funny how every person thinks their sport is the manliest and toughest. Well, there's one sport that tops them all.

My sport is Muy Thai. There's nothing more manly. I live in a country of hockey players and I hate hockey. That's always my comeback and it always ends every argument as to which is the toughest sport.
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Kaiser-Machead
07/10/09

@stackedrecords: @Mister Ozzie McWhoface:

You uncultured swine obviously don't watch the Simpsons.
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thePrototype
07/10/09

@Pope John Peeps II: oh of course, I was talking about team sports, talking about martial arts opens a whole other ball of wax.
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jibbly
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: :D Simpsons writers are geniuses.
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jibbly
07/10/09

@badhatharry: Biggest god damn flopper whiner of his generation. Blech.
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jibbly
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: I cringed when reading their continuation of a perfect quote. Philistines, the lot of them.
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Justinpaulson
07/10/09

@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Yes why does soccer never catch on in America....but NASCAR is huge?? I mean how can soccer be more boring than guys driving 500 miles in a circle?? Really?? a CIRCLE???
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Pope John Peeps II: Hey man. I concede. Can't even argue with you there. I'm a TKD fighter myself, but in the future, Im mos definitely gonna become more adept at mauy thai/MMA in general.....
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Justinpaulson: lmao! Good point! Even though it's really more of an ellipse...lol
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Con Seannery
07/10/09

Disregard this one...
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Edited by Con Seannery at 07/10/09 5:13 PM Con Seannery was starred Con Seannery was unstarred

Con Seannery
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: No, no, no...the better sport sounds like this...

He takes the snap, backpedals, he's got his man downfield, he passes, complete, he's to the 20, the 10, TOUCHDOWN!
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dtom2444
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: And Chelsea FC is the best club in the world. :)
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Con Seannery
07/10/09

@Justinpaulson:
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ashwinaj
07/10/09

@Kaiser-Machead: Yea that's how an American soccer commentator would describe it...god they are so annoying!!!
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ashwinaj
07/10/09

@nutbastard: Well then if they aren't wusses, why the hell do they have all sorts of protective gear?? I dont see rugby players wearing any protective gear?
So whose the real wuss now?

And yes real football(read soccer) players fein injuries, that's just part of the game.Just like all the circus show before during and after an American football game.
Sometimes it just looks fake to people because you've never been kicked in the shin while running at full speed.
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ashwinaj
07/10/09

@stackedrecords: hehehhehe good one mate!
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nutbastard
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton:

true that! rugby is by far the most brutal sport, and it ought to have a bigger following in america.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@Con Seannery: "Go fast. Turn left."

hahahaha

dude, that's fucking hilarious. I'm gonna use that one all the NASCAR fanbois I know...
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badhatharry
07/10/09

@TheSonOfKrypton: Is that really the first time you have heard of that?

My buddy and I thought of a way to change NASCAR and make it more exciting. You put monkeys in the driver's seat, and give them a dummy steering wheel with a big "pass" button in the middle. Then, the cars drive themselves around the oval in single file until a monkey presses the "pass" button. Then the car drops down to the left and passes the car in front of you. And the monkey has to throw his poo at the car he's passing. At the end, I don't know how you tell who's won, but that's not the point. The point is that FUCKING MONKEYS CAN DRIVE IN NASCAR.
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TheSonOfKrypton
07/10/09

@badhatharry: I literally LOL'ed at the end....Therefore......(wait for it...).........WIN!
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ninjaviking
07/11/09

@Pope John Peeps II: The most manly of all sports is, of course, female mud wrestling, closely followed by wet T-shirt contests. All other sports must be regarded as very unmanly.
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GitEmSteveDave_RockinLabCoat
07/08/09

In reply to Transformers Nikes Come in Sweet Toy Box
GitEmSteveDave no want dirty Decepticon shoes. GitEmSteveDave want Grimlok sneakers!
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Kaiser-Machead
07/08/09

In reply to Transformers Nikes Come in Sweet Toy Box
Very wise to stick to the 80's version Nike, very wise indeed.
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bobojuice
07/08/09

In reply to Transformers Nikes Come in Sweet Toy Box
I've never been a fan of that style of shoe. I guess it's a basketball type shoe? They look retarded to me. In any case, I'll take a nice pair of Lakai or DVS instead.
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Dr. Evil Genius
07/08/09

@bobojuice: ...these statements solidify your lack of shoe knowledge. Stick to things tech-related for a better life.
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bobojuice
07/08/09

@Dr. Evil Genius: dislike of stupid looking shoes =/= lack of shoe knowledge.

I just happen to think basketball style shoes look like clown shoes.

I do however, know plenty about EVA molded uppers, rubber gummed out soles, triple stitched rubber molded toe caps and impact absorbing heel pads. kthx
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/08/09

@bobojuice: Basketball shoes look like basketball shoes because they give you more ankle support. I've twisted my ankle a couple of times playing basketball with regular sneakers.
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