This screen can be seen in the "Update Details" section of the app. We hope some fun-loving Google employee didn't just get fired for his ninja-humor-based initiative. [Thanks, everyone who sent this in!]

Samurai guards used to sit in a kneeling position, with one knee up and one knee on the ground. The instability of the position, which required an active rebalancing, along with the slight tinge of pain on the lowered knee cap on the ground, made it ideal for long uneventful shifts. The position kept people awake, which kept them sharp and engaged so they'd be ready when the sonofabitch ninjas finally showed their facemasks. It's like a single replacement for a chair, and coffee.

I find that physiologically it also makes a great alternative to the sitting position, where one's back and gluts and neck are constantly stretched while the hip flexors and abs are constantly compressed but unused. This way, I stretch one leg at a time. The kneeling also keeps my eyes level with the screen of a laptop, and the desk too relatively high to lean on (which causes me to slouch). I don't get too tired, as I can rest my chest against the desk when I need to.

Through the day, I sit on an exercise ball, too, but I never feel better than when I am in the sitting stance. Swordsmen were also able to draw swords from this stance, to address attackers in front and behind them. I just change knees every few emails. Just in case the ninjas show. [Iaido, image from]

*This stance works for me, but I am not an ergonomic expert. Obviously.

UPDATE: Yeah, this shit makes my knees feel like shit. Don't listen to me.

Buy your child the Pirates vs. Ninjas Mobile and give them the advantage that you didn't have. A leg up on life...so to speak. Actually, it appears that the mobiles are sold out at the moment, so I suggest you start exposing your child to Pirates of the Caribbean and Kung Fu films at an early age. Some experts go so far as to say it is a good idea to let them listen to the dialogue in the womb. You can never start too early. [Etsy via Neatorama via Crunchgear]

Closed this weapon is 5 inches, and the blade is stainless steel. The kit comes complete with three darts and a handy nylon pouch for ninjas on-the-go. [Swords, Knives and Daggers via Nerd Approved]

These Shuriken Magnets are perfect for the refrigerator or any other place you'd like to send a message. Just place a shuriken (magnet) in your hand, flick the wrist and...WHUTING! Pick up Billy at practice. WHUTING! Don't eat those mashed potatoes because they're old but I was afraid to open the container to throw them away because it probably smells but your sense of smell isn't as good as mine so you might eat them and get sick.

Get a box of two Shuriken Magnets for $19. [epaulet via Core77]

Look, guys, if you really cared about the Christmas joy of children all over Europe you would let loose the ninjas. I mean, you can't spell Nintendo without half of ninja, so you've obviously got them. Ninjas kill pirates. And in this case, protect the innocence of millions of children. Because if "Santa" was real, couldn't he fly around dumb seabound pirates? We're asking you, for the sake of these kids, to not think about how much deeper your lake of gold coins will get from all the loot caused by the extra demand. Release the ninjas. Guard the Wiis. Save the children. [Yahoo via Gadgetell]

*struck down by ninja Mark*

[instructables via MAKE]

A Ninja Katana Stylus is the best thing you can use on your DS/smartphone this side of an actual katana.

These 3D Dead or Alive mugs let you celebrate sexy female ninjas whenever you take a swig of your morning coffee—because your drink doesn't have to be the only thing that's stiff.

Ninja clocks let you tell exactly what time it is on the "human" time system. What time is it on the "ninja" time system? Killing time.

The Ninja Star NYC subway map is convenient and will allow you to get around the city undetected by blending in in plain sight. Why would ninjas need this? Because they're not originally from NY.

Space Ninja shoes let you run as fast as ninjas do, which is pretty darn fast. We're pretty sure they're not tournament legal. A roommate of ours wore this when he went jogging one time and came back three months younger but with a three month beard growth. Don't ask us how he did it.

Make a ninja mask with just a plain old T-Shirt.

And if all else fails, you can get your coworkers to shut the hell up by telling them ninjas are silent. [Day of the Ninja]