Now the question is, should these lawsuits be allowed to proceed, or should any company that may have helped save American lives be thanked for performing a patriotic service; should those who stepped forward to say we're going to help defend America have to go to the courthouse to defend themselves, or should the Congress and the President say thank you for doing your patriotic duty? I believe we ought to say thank you.

The Billboard Liberation Front today announced a major new advertising improvement campaign executed on behalf of clients AT&T and the National Security Agency. Focusing on billboards in the San Francisco area, this improvement action is designed to promote and celebrate the innovative collaboration of these two global communications giants.

"This campaign is an extraordinary rendition of a public-private partnership," observed BLF spokesperson Blank DeCoverly. "These two titans of telecom have a long and intimate relationship, dating back to the age of the telegraph. In these dark days of Terrorism, that should be a comfort to every law-abiding citizen with nothing to hide."

AT&T initially downplayed its heroic efforts in the War on Terror, preferring to serve in silence behind the scenes. "But then we realized we had a PR win on our hands," noted AT&T V.P. of Homeland Security James Croppy. "Not only were we helping NSA cut through the cumbersome red tape of the FISA system, we were also helping our customers by handing over their e-mails and phone records to the government. Modern life is so hectic - who has time to cc the feds on every message? It's a great example of how we anticipate our customers' needs and act on them. And, it should be pointed out, we offered this service free of charge."

Commenting on the action, and responding to questions about pending privacy litigation and the stalled Congressional effort to shield the telecoms from these lawsuits, NSA spokesperson [REDACTED] remarked: "[REDACTED] we [REDACTED] condone [REDACTED] warrantless [REDACTED], [REDACTED] SIGINT intercepts, [REDACTED] torture [REDACTED] information retrieval by [REDACTED] means necessary."

"It's a win-win-win situation," noted the BLF's DeCoverly. "NSA gets the data it needs to keep America safe, telecom customers get free services, and AT&T makes a fortune. That kind of cooperation between the public and private sectors should serve as a model to all of us, and a harbinger of things to come."

Come see the improvement at 14th St. and Valencia St. in San Francisco.

The BLF (www.billboardliberation.com) has been improving outdoor advertising since 1977. Prior campaigns have included work for Exxon, R.J. Reynolds, and Apple Computers.

AT&T (www.att.com) is America's favorite telecommunications trust. Based in San Antonio, Texas, it has over 300,000 employees and annual revenues of $117 Billion.

NSA (www.nsa.gov) is the largest intelligence organization in the world. Headquartered at Fort Meade, Maryland, its budget, personnel, products, and services are all classified.

Blank DeCoverly
BLF Minister of Propaganda

Mark Klein explained the situation a bit in this video and why he was lobbying against immunity for the telcos—which the FCC declined to investigate. It's this exact bill that's about to pass the Senate, as they've voted to limit debate on it "all but assuring" it gets the rubber stamp. Also included are provisions to essentially legalize the government's actions, effectively expanding its ability to spy within our borders. Scary stuff. [Threat Level, Threat Level]

Not only are these things up to military spec, which means you can drop it on the dirt while taking cover, it's got a personal organizer. The features that makes it NSA-approved are its advanced SIPRNET and NIPRNET access, DoD PKI-enabled Common Access Card Support, DoD 8100.2 requirement satisfaction, Type 1 classified data encrypted storage support, and the ability to be used inside "closed areas" with an SCIF-Friendly mode. Those specs are like security fanfic porn to the NSA tech crew. [GDC4s via Crave]

Congress asked for the probe, which would include AT&T, Verizon and Qwest. But National Intelligence Director Michael McConnell sent a letter to FCC Chairman Kevin Martin saying that the investigation would "pose an unnecessary risk of damage to the national security," and that McConnell and friends "support your determination not to initiate an investigation."

Sorry to get on a soap-box here, but how much longer is this government allowed to subordinate our rights to their not entirely legal whims or cozy corporate partnerships? Like, what, a year and change? Until then, maybe I just won't use the phone. Or the internet. Or cable. Can they wiretap bourbon? [Reuters]

NSA: File-Sharers Unfit to Spy on Americans [Danger Room]

Too bad the vehicle itself only travels 30 feet, and it's one of those wind up cars (you pull it backwards along the floor and then let go). But the signal supposedly works through walls, which means that the movement is really a secondary feature to being able to listen-in on your sister talking about boys. Ewwww.

Available next fall for between $14.99 and $19.99. –Noah Robischon

This is probably based on an OEM spec that has been tweaked for the NSA.

A Smartphone for the NSA [Treonauts]