Yes, those are the animals that a recently uncovered European Nintendo patent imagines you riding through your living room on this inflatable, Wiimote-implanted cushion. The Wiimote's accelerometers sense your rocking while the nunchuk, held in one's hand, serves as reins, a lasso or sword.

While the illustration is strange, the thought of a family of four group-dry-humping a pile of cushions during their next game night is downright repulsive. Of course a patent doesn't mean Nintendo will produce the thing. But they, at least for a moment, considered it. And that point alone is bad enough. [Siliconera via Kotaku]

Priced at $20 a pop, the FunChuks are a pretty standard Wii nunchuk replacement, save for their extra "C" button that we're pretty sure does nothing but save Logic3 from lawsuits. And according to the press photo, they may also splatter paint across your living room.

But hey, FunChuks! FunChuks! FunChuks!!! [Logic3 via Kotaku]

Holding the Wand, I could perceive no tangible difference (size, shape or weight) from the Wiimote. It's not a bulky or strange product. The Wand is a reasonable doppelganger if you can look past the red, white and blue chromatics.

In testing the Wand with Wii Sports bowling and just browsing through the menus, I didn't notice any quality/responsiveness issues (though, we probably won't be able to judge its precise calibration until mass amounts of users post their impressions after release.) Since the Wiimote isn't a 100% perfectly responsive device as it is, it's tough to tell if anything has been lost in Nyko's translation.

One big advantage to the Wand, however, is that Nyko is using it as the basis for their new Trans-Port peripheral technology. While most Wii peripherals (like the Zapper) use mechanical contacts to link a trigger to an actual button on the Wiimote, Nyko makes this connection digitally.

Examining their prototype Zapper, I could really tell how much simpler the Trans-Port design could be. And Nyko explained that not only could they then remap buttons on attached peripherals, but transfer vibration information as well. So the next Nyko-branded Nunchuk may vibrate.

On the market in a few months, Nyko hopes to price the Wand between $30 and $40—hopefully closer to $30.

The Wand™
The Nyko Wand is the world’s most advanced alternative to the Wii Remote™ and has been designed from the ground up for superior functionality, comfort, and value. The new controller maintains all of the control functions Wii gamers expect with full motion-sensing capability, pointer functionality, vibration feedback, and a built-in speaker, while offering a variety of new features.

The Wand contains Nyko’s all-new Trans-Port™ technology, which enables control and vibration feedback to be electrically replicated on a compatible attachment accessory, providing for faster and more accurate input response. Current attachments made for the Wii Remote can only access buttons through use of mechanical triggers and provide no vibration feedback. One of the many potential uses of Trans-Port technology is a pistol grip that connects to the Wand and electrically replicates key action buttons, providing controls not currently accessible with attachments for the Wii Remote. In addition, enlarged 1 and 2 buttons make the Wand an exceptional choice for classic gaming control when turned sideways, complete with Nyko’s signature rubberized battery cover to ensure maximum comfort and grip.

Identical to the previously released versions (except for a wire sticking out of each), the wired Wing and Kama will each retail for $15. That's literally half the price of Nyko's $30 wireless versions, or $5 less than what Nintendo's officially licensed versions cost ($20). So buying these wired Nyko products won't save you a ton of money, but multiply the price times four controllers and it can bring down the cost of your hobby a bit.

Look for the wired Wing and Kama this January.

Built from a Wiimote that was painstakingly sanded down to its core structure, the controller was then wrapped in hemp with a little help from glue to keep it in place. Conveniently, the surface was then singed with a lighter to burn off the loose threads.
Unfortunately, the final product is not durable enough for anything more than occasional play. But it's certainly nice to look at if you dig the unshaven look. [dhreck via GoNintendo]

As one GoNintendo commenter quickly pointed out:

Wii Wheel - $14.99
Wii Remote - $39.99
Nunchuk - $19.99
__________________
Total - $74.97

So at Target, the collection actually costs you 2 cents more than purchasing the components alone. And if you were to find the Wii Wheel cheaper (say from Amazon, where it costs just $10), you'd be paying about $5 more for this kit than any half-assed bargain hunter. [GoNintendo]

Let's just make something clear: if you buy such ugly tech, don't expect your friends not to punch you in the face when they come over just to play Wii Sports. Even if it "only costs $20." [kotaku]

Nyko simply replaced the nunchuk altogether—which isn't a bad idea since Wiimotes come bundled separately anyway. This new, wireless nunchuck interfaces with the Wiimote through an adapter snapped in the Wiimote's port, which makes way for 2.4GHz communication.

But we're with Kotaku on this one. We can almost never play the Wii as it is without replacing bundles of batteries and the last thing we need is another to worry about...only because we've never encountered a game that was hindered by wire tethering. But if Nyko ends up sticking a rechargeable battery in there, we'll talk.

No price or release info yet, but we'll get our paws on it at CES along with more details then. [ign via kotaku]

NDS-Central sells mod shells for console products, and just announced a variety of new Wii nunchuk cases for an awkward $11.90. Colors include Dynamic Red, Dreamy Blue, Strat Clear, Astro Yellow, and Cool Black. Despite the Wii's low sticker price, a Wiimote with nunchuk will still run you $60...and most titles require both to play. So stick it to Nintendo and spend more money on a colored case from your friendly neighborhood third party seller. Because as long as Nintendo is selling out of white units, they have no reason to give us something else. – Mark Wilson

Product Page [nds-central]