You were born but a hyped, sidetalking Taco. Then, after we had our laughs for several years, papa Nokia ditched your dedicated hardware and opened it up to phones of all kinds—as long as they said N-O-K-I-A on them. It was a smart move. Because you sell lots of phones, and if your gaming platform was to live, it needed to be on as many of those as possible. It looked ok at this point, as a platform and service. And the hardware was nice at times. But that didn't change the fact that no one I know ever talked about you, n-Gage, much less played with you. The button layouts, games and online vs modes never really came together as well as you'd liked in terms of people buying and using it. Why? I don't know. I guess, at least in America, we couldn't get the handsets for less than the price of 5 Nintendo DSes. But beyond that, you never had any games that people cared about, despite having signed up companies like EA so easily because papa Nokia was still number one. And every year at E3, your booth was like a buzz-vacuum. So, I can't say we'll miss you. We hardly knew you were there. But let's just chalk this up to more high end consumer failure to excite at Nokia, which has been a trend of late.

I'm done. Honestly, this much word count on nGage is charity, even as a farewell. See ya. Hope we never have to see you again. But the word is, you'll probably just fold some games of yours into a general app store. The dead never stay dead for long in the gadget game.

I imagine they're ducking eye-laser beams over in the Bloomberg newsroom, being volleyed all the way from Cupertino. More at: [Gawker]

Click on the image above to see the full high resolution version

[Wikipedia and Sony Japan]

For other Gizmodo timelines, check:

• Requiem: the Analog Cellphone Timeline
• LEGO Brick Timeline: 50 Years of Building Frenzy and Curiosities
• 100 Years of Tech in the Times Square New Year's Ball

Chandler Blinkers III, who died aged 89, enrolled the Royal Navy in 1940, a definitive moment in his life since he left his home coral at the Ansagna Reef in the Maldives, aged 16. Son of Sir Chandler Blinkers II, a herring from Bristol, and Lady Alfonsina Maddy, a former burlesque actress from Buenos Aires, the fish affectionally called Pit fought bravely on the Allied side against the Axis powers during World War II. Throughout the Battle of the Atlantic, Mr. Blinkers helped sink more than three Nazi U-Boats. By 1943, Pit had already achieved the rank of captain of the Royal Navy, and was awarded the George Cross for acts of greatest heroism. By the end of the campaign, Mr. Blinkers was personally received by Winston Churchill who feed him little pieces of dry fish while he was placidly floating in a glass bowl.

After World War 2, Mr. Blinkers went on to start a career as an extremely successful writer. A regular columnist at Practical Fishkeeping Monthly, where he was known for his strong views on the Tropical vs Sub-Tropical Algae debate, Mr. Blinkers wrote more than 159 books, including 97 love novels, numerous essay collections and two books of poetry dedicated to his mother Alfonsina, the sexy but tender lionfish who took care of him during his first days at the estuary of the River Plate. "Blinkers was an amazing writer" said legendary Digg editor and famed sea sponge collector Kevin Rose, "his grasp of english language is probably only comparable to Steinbeck. And Stan Lee."

Chandler Blinkers III died on January 9. He never married, but he had a long list of lovers and unrecognized children, including five red herrings, two sardines, twelve monkfish and more than 150 anchovies in tin cans.

(WARNING: while it's absolutely 100% true that a fish died today inside the water tank used to showcase the waterproof cameras at the Panasonic's booth—thanks Tom for the pic and tip—which had to be emptied later, some of the facts about the life of Chandler Blinkers III in this report have been greatly exaggerated for dramatic purposes. In reality, he never wrote two poetry books.)

Chandler Blinkers III, rest in peace. Your friends from Gizmodo will never forget you.

Click to the next page to read Vonnegut's last published words, the closing lines of his poem entitled "Requiem." Now it's Vonnegut who's become unstuck in time. So it goes.

When the last living thing
has died on account of us,
how poetical it would be
if Earth could say,
in a voice floating up
perhaps
from the floor
of the Grand Canyon,
"It is done."
People did not like it here.

Kurt Vonnegut, Counterculture's Novelist, Dies [NYT]

Bob's Body Leaves Us
[Moog Music]