Text messaging. Yep, really. Thanks for that cutting edge reporting, New York Times. [NYT via Gawker]

It took 500,000 working hours to build, going from Norway, Denmark, and Sweden to North America, through Germany, Austria, and Switzerland—complete with the Grand Canyon, 20-foot tall Swiss mountains, and:

• 800 trains.
• Over 10,000 train cars in total, running several hundred kilometers every day.
• One train is 47.5 feet long.
• Over 170 computer controlled cars.
• More than 200,000 people (there's all kinds of things here, even a crime scene).
• Controlled by 40 computers.
• 200 cameras control the premises.
• Day and night lighting simulator.
• 300,000 computer-controlled LEDs

They are opening an airport this year, which has taken 2.5 years to build. If you are not impressed after watching the video, seriously, I don't know what will. Oh, wait, I know: This thing even has a fully working model whorehouse, casinos, and a secret underground base.

I rest my case. [Miniatur Wunderland]

Up for auction is a custom built Transformer of Master Chief from the Halo series of games.  A quick transformation turns him from the iconic Spartan soldier into a battle ready Warthog LRV .  Stands 5 1/4" tall when transformed and comes with a variety of weapons including a Sniper Rifle, Spike Grenade, and Warthog turret.  Built from a McFarlane Master Chief figure, an Actionclix Wartog and an Autobot Hound transformer, many hours of work have been put into this to make it a faithfull representation of both the vehicle and the character.

The auction ends on March 12, and is currently at $51 with 15 bids. Hmm, I think I found what I'm going to blow my cash on this month. [eBay via geekologie]

It has two handheld nozzles, mirrors, 8 side jets, a radio, an LCD TV, MP3 input, 6mm of tempered glass, a heater pump, steam generator, an alarm, 6 more jets, overhead lights, back accupuncture massage, a massage tub, towel racks, foot massage, ventilation fans and speakers. Considering that all this comes at a price of $4300, it's not that bad. I mean, if you were building a new bathroom anyway, you'd owe it to yourself to buy one. Seriously. [Aquapeutics via Born Rich via DVice]

No word on whether a faux-religious novel's 500+ pages of pap will have to be deciphered first for the activation codes. Or if Hanks will be in the "long hair mode" Dan Brown requires, but either way, I want to kiss the PR person at CERN who had this idea. If anyone can find a way to keep us all from being Hoovered into a rip in the fabric of space-time, it's the Hanks.

The wait until September just got even more agonizing. [Telegraph]

Sources say Dan Nosowitz, who turns 23 today, does not care in the slightest about the latest rumors regarding President-Elect Obama's BlackBerry. This source, who describes himself as "close to Nosowitz," says the technology blogger experienced debilitating apathy and slight annoyance at an Associated Press story reporting the President-Elect's clumsy inability to retain a tight grip on his well-publicized BlackBerry.

Further, he suggests that Nosowitz was not impressed by the news that Obama will legally be allowed to keep his beloved phone for personal use only, presumably unmonitored by the traditional White House zeal for documentation. Allegedly, Nosowitz suggested that, "Nobody cares."

Says Nosowitz, "I drop shit all the time and the AP never writes stories about me." He later added, "Not even on my birthday (which is today)."

However, Nosowitz was able to maintain a sense of humor about the situation. He is reported to have "laughed derisively" at the ending statement, "Aides report that his device still works." [AP, picture by AP/Charles Dharapak]

The Rocket Racing League® is an aerospace sports and entertainment organization that combines the competition of racing with the excitement of rocketry. The RRL was established by X-Prize founder Peter Diamandis and two-time Indianapolis 500 champion team partner Granger Whitelaw to advance the technology and increase public awareness of space travel. The NASCAR-style racing league features rocket-powered aircraft that will be flown by top pilots through a 'three-dimensional track way' at venues throughout the world. With millions of fans who enjoy racing and air shows, and an even wider audience enthralled with humanity's next step into space, rocket racing is destined to become the future of racing!

There are six teams already. If I were a test pilot, I would apply today. Head to Flight Global for an exclusive interview with Granger Whitelaw, CEO of Rocket Racing, explaining what the whole thing is about. If you are going to be at the show, go on Friday or Saturday, when they will fly it again. [Rocket Racing League and Flight Global]

It's the exact same story that pathetic local news stations use for scare stories between "Your New Carpet Could Give You AIDS" and "Highway Killings: More Common Than You Think." But it's even worse, as it's in a "respected" newspaper and it's a good five years beyond when this could even questionably be considered newsworthy.

It goes through the same formula that all these stories do: first, it uses an example of "l33t 5p34k" that is full of numbers, is pretty much unreadable and no one actually would ever use. This is to shock people into feeling like they're out of the loop. It then interviews a bunch of kids "in the know" about it, who then show that, well, it's really just a jokey set of misspellings that people say when around fellow dorks. Then, they interview some dude with his panties in a twist about how the English language is going down the tubes because kids are saying lawl to each other.

Let me break this down for you: Back when you were doing the Lindy Hop and wearing zoot suits, you had a set of slang too. It freaked your parents out. It was a way for you to bond with your peers and have a shared language. It did not destroy the sanctity of the English language when you said stuff like 23 Skidoo and bee's knees. This is the exact same thing, but because it comes from the internet, something else that's new and terrifying, you think it's even more disastrous. Well, guess what? It's not. You're an alarmist idiot. Now go back to complaining about how the Wendy's menu used to be a lot better before they banned trans fats and leave reporting about tech culture to people who know wtf they're talking about. [WSJ]

While this black iPod Shuffle is a real product, it's "assombled" in China by an unlicensed OEM. Still, we appreciate the fine attention to detail in the packaging (minus spelling) and the $14 price. Is it possible that Apple is charging a ridiculous surplus on their products? Nah.
Anyone see the episode of The Office when Michael Scott gives away an iPod during the dirty Santa gift exchange? Let's just say that our Christmas budget is looking awfully big this year.

A Black iPod Shuffle [le journal du geek]