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Galactic Empire Begins Invasion of San Francisco
Informed by the Bush Administration that a Rebel base is located in the heart of San Francisco, Imperial forces surrounded the city in advance of a full-scale invasion. While Imperial Admiral Piett promised administration officials that the assault would commence only if the Rebel forces fail to surrender by 8PM PDT tonight, video reports on the ground reveal that Imperial fighters have already begun flybys and the Death Star battle station has moved into position above the city. More »Vatican Buys Palm for $800 Million
ROME (Agencies) - The Vatican has bought Palm Inc. in an $800-million cash, stock, and souls deal, a move that analysts are calling a bold bid to reconvert the Catholic Church into the number one mobile operator for communication with God. The purchase is the culmination of Pope Benedict XVI's new push into the mobile arena. More »iPhone to Feature Unlimited Movie Downloads, 37-Foot Screen
After rumors of an extreme price-drop and black glossy appearance, new details about the iPhone 3G keep dripping like Princess Peach's bathroom faucet: a New York-based TV station has got exclusive details, pointing out in its news ticker that Apple's wonderphone will feature "unlimited movie downloads." The channel's rumor record is practically flawless, as demonstrated by their prediction on the extension of the Iron Man trailer into a full-length movie. Full video after the jump. More »Battlestar Galactica Exclusive Spoilers, and 8-Minute Video Summary
Apple Opening Peepshows In Apple Stores Worldwide
LONDON, United Kingdom (Agencies). Following a successful pilot program in the London Apple Store, and perhaps too many caipirinhas at the Infinite Loop party which followed yesterday's iPhone SDK presentation, a visibly tipsy Steve Jobs announced the introduction of a new Peepshow feature in all Apple Stores worldwide: More »Hello Kitty Found Dead, Charred in Los Angeles
MacBook Air Eject Key's Rumored Alternative Actions
Darth Vader Leaves Galactic Empire CEO Job, Joins Rock Band
Apple Introduces Manila Case—The World's Thinnest Notebook Case
Chandler Blinkers III Drowns at Panasonic's Waterproof Camera Showcase Tank
Area Man Parks Car On House Roof, Tells Police "GPS Made Me Do It"
Gizmodo Sues The Onion for Libel, Asks Drew Curtis for Legal Advice
LAKE TAHOE, Nevada (Agencies) — Popular technology blog and cocktail bar guide Gizmodo has sued leading international newspaper The Onion for libel, following the latter recent article on Microsoft Corp.'s (MFST) Zune 2 MP3 player's roaring success. More »Imperial Stormtroopers Arrest Santa, Emperor to Take Over Xmas